NationStates Jolt Archive

The Nation of Probotica has been dealing with the slim from PETA. They wish to fight for animal rights by removing our Snack Packs. Like Americans have Cracker Jacks at their baseball events, we Proboticans have snack packs at our QuibbleFoot games.

Being the lone ruler of Probotica I explained to PETA’s representative that for one week we would give animals the same rights as everyone else. The very first day a grizzly bear attacked and killed a jogger. Probotica tries to put the death penalty into effect when ever we can so we gave the grizzly bear a lethal injection. PETA did not agree with my methods and recommenced their crusade to help the animals.

I am at my wits end, for now I am holding daily gladiator games with all the imprisoned animal rights people versus any vicious animal we can muster up. While the games are good for the economy and has given way to a new sport in Probotica I do not want to see this method of penalty go on much longer. I also do not want to fill my prisons with animal rights people either. We only serve the meat from the other dead prisoners from gladiator fights there and the animal rights people won't eat that stuff.

What are all the other nations doing to solve the problem of these pesky people?

So then what you're saying is you're not willing to kill the PETA people? While we in Serengarve wouldn't be willing to do that, we could not blame a dictatorship who decided to do so. Our preferred method of dealing with PETA is to annoy them until they go away.

Andrei Sikorsky,
Foreign Affaris Minister,
KS of Serengarve

In Probotica we prefer to kill those criminals who really deserve it. Things like small children stealing from candy stores. The problem with the PETA gladiator games is that the PETA people do not fight back. They only run away and scream. Where is the sport and entertainment in that?

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