NationStates Jolt Archive

Gulag No 443 has recently recieved numerous threats and/or insults from this scumbag nation.

We have deployed 235,000 troops with SIG 552 rifles and SIG P210-6 handguns, as well as 60 Minimi equipped APCs and three M1 tanks, and 500 elite forces with RPGs, Steyr AUG rifles and Desert Eagle AE pistols. :x

Three Chinooks with M124 Miniguns have also been scrambled, as well as one Hind D with a 20mm Vulcan Cannon and missiles. :twisted:

Our naval forces are on standby. Will you surrender and choose to be more left-wing? Or will you fight until your people rebel?

Telegram to Gulag No 443
From, the Continental Socialist Empire

Message read:
We understand you have moblised a large number of troops in response to a nation "insulting" you. This is making us wonder, certinly your nation is old enough to outgrow name-calling and not weigh up the lives of over 100,000 troops of YOUR nation because of this. We are questioning the matureness of you government.
So we have come to the agreement to issue you with this statment; GET A LIFE.

-CDoFA

The Republic of New Cotyledon has scrambled four eggs in response to Gulag No 443's war with Psychotic Pedants.

The Minister for Agriculture wishes to eat these eggs himself, but the Minister for Defence is adamant that they be sent to aid the troops of the Gulag in their fight.

Either way, it's a win-win situation for New Cotyledon.

The Republic of New Cotyledon has scrambled four eggs in response to Gulag No 443's war with Psychotic Pedants.

The Minister for Agriculture wishes to eat these eggs himself, but the Minister for Defence is adamant that they be sent to aid the troops of the Gulag in their fight.

Either way, it's a win-win situation for New Cotyledon.OMG that has to be the best one of the best responses i have ever seen to a n00b attack


*cough*

anyway, gulag guy, could you please press the button below and then press submit

http://www.filmmakingholidays.com/images/record-button.jpg (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/posting.php?mode=quote&p=3183805)
Please press this button and press submit

Dunno about you guys, but I take personal insults...personally.

And isn't "Socialist Empire" a contradiction in terms. I rest my case.

ALso, my peole VOTED for this war. Every decision here is passed by referendum.

So let me be!!!

Ying-tong-iddle-i-po.

The Intelligence Agency of New Cotyeldon is stumped by the meaning of "n00b" and has gone back to doing wordsearches.

In the meantime, the eggs were tragically lost in the course of a ten-course state banquet, and buried with ful honours. All together now with the national anthem: "God save the Grand Supreme Almighty Omnipotent Omnipresent Great Ultimate Illustrious Illuminated Lord-General Regal Imperial Emperor of the Republic New Cotyledon..."

God bless New Cotyledon. No one else will.

Notquiteaplace would like to congratulate you on the superb handling of that situation. We have sent you a box of finest quality eggs in aid in order to make up this terrible tradgedy.

OOC: that was great! :lol:

Thank you for your kind eggs. We have made a cake with them. :D

And isn't "Socialist Empire" a contradiction in terms. I rest my case.

OOC: No, an Empire is a country that owns a large amount of land outside the original area of it. Nothing really says it can't be socialist.
Also, your plunging your economy and food supplies to hell by moblising so many troops with such a small population..

anyway, gulag guy, could you please press the button below and then press submit

http://www.filmmakingholidays.com/images/record-button.jpg (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/posting.php?mode=quote&p=3183805)
Please press this button and press submit

OOC: LOL :lol:

Gulag no 443, in response to you war upon psychotic pendants, we support you with great heart!! we are sending you an egg-shooting AK46.5 (like a AK47, but not as good). But you will have to supply your own eggs.
Also, we send you 3 flotation devices and an Omelette.

Sincere Regards - Ailso, Minister for small and useless gifts.

Gulag no 443, in response to you war upon psychotic pendants, we support you with great heart!! we are sending you an egg-shooting AK46.5 (like a AK47, but not as good). But you will have to supply your own eggs.
Also, we send you 3 flotation devices and an Omelette.

Sincere Regards - Ailso, Minister for small and useless gifts.

The Republic of New Cotyledon will not stand idly by to see Gulag No 443 waste its precious eggs! Accordingly we have sent to their troops a genetically-modified version of our national animal (the Bear with an AK-47) which can lay eggs. Not only will this Bear lay eggs to be used as ammunition for Hyperspatial Travel's AK-46.5, but it will cross roads and gun down enemy soldiers, as well as fighting for the right for all people have to arm bears.

anyway, gulag guy, could you please press the button below and then press submit

http://www.filmmakingholidays.com/images/record-button.jpg (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/posting.php?mode=quote&p=3183805)
Please press this button and press submit

Sorry, my mother told me not to push big red buttons.

We must thank you for eggs and bears. I have informed Psychotic Pedants and I am awaiting a response to my assault.

-Camp Freddy, Gulag No 443 Commissar for useless speeches

We send several million indoctrinated children armed with United Armouries R-8 Assault Rifles. We also send in 25,000 light Panzer II tanks salvaged from the Eastern Front. We repaired them. Although they do tend to break down whenever they are hit with heavy gunfire(anything more powerful than handgun shots).

We send several million indoctrinated children armed with United Armouries R-8 Assault Rifles. We also send in 25,000 light Panzer II tanks salvaged from the Eastern Front. We repaired them. Although they do tend to break down whenever they are hit with heavy gunfire(anything more powerful than handgun shots).

"What is this?" screamed our illustrious leader when he read Psychotic Pedants' statement. "Indoctrinated children! This is a travesty! Why won't anyone think of the children? These Pedants shall pay for their crime against humanity. Let loose the bears of war!"

A mere five minutes later a unit of fifty specially-trained Bears with Ak-47s took off from their base in our capital city, and flew off to the land of the Pedants. The bears were armed to the teeth with AK-47's, and five were also equipped with bazookas.

As soon as they landed in enemy territory, the bears set out in search of the main body of opposing soldiers (the indoctrinated children), with the intention of slaughtering them in their thousands. The bears reports say "GRUNT-GRUNT-GROWL" which could mean anything at all. However, our obsevers on the ground confirm many small victories for New Cotyledon, with no casualties as yet.

OOC: It's not as ridiculous as it sounds. The US Navy uses dolphins, so why can't I use bears with AK-47's? Answers on a postcard, please.

Puh-leeze.

The United Socialist States of Ultimate Stupidity pledge 100,000 of our recently increased and well trained army armed with AK-74 assault rifles, five marksmen armed with G3/SG1 rifles and 50,000 T34/85 tanks bought from the former Soviet Union and finally an infantry platoon with Heavy Powered Infantry Armour and United Armouries HISW-2 miniguns.

Do your worst. I bet you won't even get past the first line of infantry.

Gulag No 443 sent 400 Elite Troops to deal with the invasion. With the indoctrinated children either dead or covered in egg, Our troops get at a range of 550 yards from the Pedants. The AUGs rip a hole in the enmey infantry with the first volley, and as they our out of range, the Pedants may stuggle to respond...

Also, the pedants Tanks desintegrate under Desert Eagle fire. Now the men have stopped to reload... <<Pedants post you losses here>>

this has to be one of the silliest threads ever. Yet If you RP your rediculous situation properly could also be onen of the best, maybe not just for entertainment value.

:lol: :D

this has to be one of the silliest threads ever. Yet If you RP your rediculous situation properly could also be onen of the best, maybe not just for entertainment value.

:lol: :D

Hmm...

:!:

I think you gave me an idea... all I need id for Psychotic Pendants to reply... :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Hell, there's enough children in our country to send in several million more. We MAKE people breed. We're truely fascists!

Gulag No 443 has recently recieved numerous threats and/or insults from this scumbag nation.

We have deployed 235,000 troops with SIG 552 rifles and SIG P210-6 handguns, as well as 60 Minimi equipped APCs and three M1 tanks, and 500 elite forces with RPGs, Steyr AUG rifles and Desert Eagle AE pistols. :x

Three Chinooks with M124 Miniguns have also been scrambled, as well as one Hind D with a 20mm Vulcan Cannon and missiles. :twisted:

Our naval forces are on standby. Will you surrender and choose to be more left-wing? Or will you fight until your people rebel?

You never posted losses from the combat divers attack I launched against your main fleet. check "Attack FWS Shores"

They have lost 3.5 million from my examinations.

You never posted losses from the combat divers attack I launched against your main fleet. check "Attack FWS Shores"

No, I did read it, and you're a fool. You seem to have bombed the wrong country, as anyone who has read my war with Nazi Fux thread will know, my fleet is made up of rusty trawlers with Stingers poking over the sides (we had to pay for the 552s somehow).

So you obviously blew up the wrong navy; mines nowhere near that good! Anyone want to claim ownership?!?

<<Still awaiting Psychotic Pedants to express losses during ambush>>

The scene: An isolated country road in the land of the Psychotic Pedants. The road winds its way through a verdant forest, the trees ablaze with all the greenery of summer, leaves swaying in the coll, refreshing breeze. The birds are collecting pollen, and the bees are building nests. All is well with the world.

From afar comes the sound of marching. Before long (but after short) a colossal column of armed children hoves into view: reinforcements heading to the fromt.

Hidden in the trees, a party of fifty Bears with AK-47s await. Specially trained to kill in combat situations, the bears are deadly, violent and unpredictably brilliant. They are also impatient and hungry for action.

They spring their ambush, but at the wrong time, appearing out of the trees infront of the enemty, spraying bullets everywhere. The first, second and third ranks of the column fall dead or dying or ducking to the ground, but the rest charge forward, swamping the brave bears. The bears are engulfed ina flood of killer children, and swipe out widly with their paws and claws and jaws and guns.

But to no avail. There are too many children, and the bears flee into the trees, scattering and running and climbing up branches to escape. Behind them, eleven of their comrades are dead, and five more carry life-threatening wounds. Even though many enemy appear to be dead, it is a defeat for New Cotyledon. The bears run on into the woods, and the great military minds of their homeland plot their revenge... :tantrum:

We have 3,800,500 casualties exactly. We send in another army of children in order to protect the homeland.

We have also bought DECENT tanks this time. Take on our 30,000 Panzer IVs!

The Hind Strikes.

To avenge the bears, it ruthlssly pours Missiles and Vulcan shells onto the hapless children. Tanks explode and children are reduced to red mist.

The children the form a gigantic human pyramid. The Hind flies trough coming out with a pleasant crimson paint job. The pilot leans out the window to givee the kids the finger, but crashes into a telegraph pole.

This has the beneficial effect of knocking out half of Pedants' national power grid...

A shell-shocked bear stampedes straight into another electricity pole, knocking it over and himself unconscious. This, our Intelligence Agency, believes, has destroyed the other half of Psychotic Pedant's power grid. All hail to the Grand Supreme Almighty Omnipotent Omnipresent Great Ultimate Illustrious Illuminated Lord-General Regal Imperial Emperor of New Cotyledon.

In the meantime (as opposed to the nicetime), a mass of people have taken to the streets of New Cotyledon's capital city, New Cotyledon, in a protest agaisnt the war. Led by key anti-war protestor Harry MacUnpronouncablesurname, they demand that the government of New Cotyledon withdraw their troops from Psychotic Pedants. Some of them burn effigies of George Bush, despite the fact he has nothing to do with this war or New Cotlyledon.

"Not in my name!" they chant, again and again. "War no more."

The police of New Cotyleodn try to disperse the crowd (branded "peace-loving, cheese-eating, flower-wearing, good-for-nothing hippie-traitors" by the Minister for Branding) with water cannons, and soon the situation disintegrates into one mammoth water-fight.

"Wet t-shirt contest!" someone shouts, and in the confusion the government seizes the opportunity to send one 1000 elite soldiers to the land of the enemy, armed with AK-47's like all good New Cotyledoners, along with M72 LAWs to deal with Psychotic pedants tanks.

Gulag no 443 has ordered another Hind from that nice Mr. Garlukovic...

"This war is tearing our country apart!" moans the Minister for National Unity, Peanuts and Feminism. "Look at this - we have TWO demonstrations planned in the capital his afternoon. One's anti-war, and the other's pro-war!"

All hail to the Grand Supreme Almighty Omnipotent Omnipresent Great Ultimate Illustrious Illuminated Lord-General Regal Imperial Emperor of the Republic of New Cotyledon!

The Republic of New Cotyledon regrets to inform Gulag No 443 that, owing to an unfortuante series of incidents (i.e. civil war between pro-war and anti-war protestors) in our homeland, we are forced to withdraw all troops from this war.
We apologise for the inconvenience.

All hail to the Grand Supreme Almighty Omnipotent Omnipresent Great Ultimate Illustrious Illuminated Lord-General Regal Imperial Emperor of the Republic of New Cotyledon! Down with the impostor Grand Supreme Almighty Omnipotent Omnipresent Great Ultimate Illustrious Illuminated Lord-General Regal Imperial Emperor of the Republic of Free New Cotyledon!

Psychotic Pedants have increased the protection on the predominant castle-place. Sorry!

It's time for the specialist troops of Ultimate Stupidity to take action.

Infantry men station themselves at vantage points and take aim at the windows of the enormous castle-place. Explosive charges are placed at the door. The explosives expert stands back, pushes the button and lets the door fly outwards. He sidesteps. The door lands inches away from him. Several armed children run out. They are chopped to pieces by the HISW miniguns. Several of Ultimate Stupidity's tanks drive inside. They fire at a well armoured target, blasting it open. The minigunners open fire. 500 children now lay dead. The tanks reverse and the infantrymen charge in. Children counter-charge, but are blasted back by the infantry. A Panzer IV is spotted. The T-34s take care of it easily. It's at that point that somebody realises, "This isn't the main castle-place! What the hell's going on?".

The army walks dejectedly out. The demolition soldier takes care and razes the castle-place to the ground.