Independent Hitmen
01-05-2004, 19:55
Railway operator RailCrack has today announced a surprise late bid to run the National Lottery.
"We've been running a fu**ing lottery on the rail network for years," said RailCrack's Chief Executive,"so this is a natural progression."
Under the proposals, a player will buy a "season ticket" to make five return journeys a week at peak times.
"You nominate timetabled trains for each day, and if all ten come in on time and in one piece you win the jackpot", he said. "The jackpot is a reserved seat in first class for the rest of your life or for a year, whichever is shorter"
He confirmed that RailCrack were going to be giving over a significant amount of money to "good causes":"...things like leaves on the line, floods and vandalism- these are good causes that we can blame on other people, as opposed to bad causes like dodgy tracks or faulty signals, which we're in danger of being held responsible for ourselves."
RailCrack is the main player in the Crashalot consortium formed for the franchise bid. Other backers include software giant Micro$haft who promise to put in new machines that make buying a ticket a lottery in itself.
Crashalot are also planning a special "Rollover" game, in which players pick the next scheduled train service hat they think will roll over.
"We've been running a fu**ing lottery on the rail network for years," said RailCrack's Chief Executive,"so this is a natural progression."
Under the proposals, a player will buy a "season ticket" to make five return journeys a week at peak times.
"You nominate timetabled trains for each day, and if all ten come in on time and in one piece you win the jackpot", he said. "The jackpot is a reserved seat in first class for the rest of your life or for a year, whichever is shorter"
He confirmed that RailCrack were going to be giving over a significant amount of money to "good causes":"...things like leaves on the line, floods and vandalism- these are good causes that we can blame on other people, as opposed to bad causes like dodgy tracks or faulty signals, which we're in danger of being held responsible for ourselves."
RailCrack is the main player in the Crashalot consortium formed for the franchise bid. Other backers include software giant Micro$haft who promise to put in new machines that make buying a ticket a lottery in itself.
Crashalot are also planning a special "Rollover" game, in which players pick the next scheduled train service hat they think will roll over.