Samtonia
21-04-2004, 03:48
Newsbrief
As the Samtonian National Anthem blares in the background, a bespectacled researcher steps up to the podium, behind which the Samtonian flag is draped. He is thin, balding, and in his early 30's, from the looks of it. As he shuffles his papers around, he glances up at the camera and begins to speak.
"Errr, yes. Well, it..umm. it appears that Samtonia has discovereed the secrets of Hydrogen power. Well, not Samtonia, really, but Herr Doktor Wehrner von Helsten Grafaden Jokoben Neidelhammischer. We'll call him Hansi for short. (Don't ask why, it's a long story and it involves a coconut and a monkey). But anyways, Hansi was playing around with his coffee machine and did something rather stupid. I mean brilliant. Oh what's the difference? However, the monkey ran up and pulled Hansi's pants dow... yes, that's not what you want to hear. Going back to my point, you shouldn't put the chemical filters in in place of a coffee filter! And of course, spay and neuter your pets. Thank you. I'm not done? What? Where will I be sent? But I don't want to go... ok... ok... ahhhh, I see. Well, let me continue. And don't mind the penguins on my shoulders. Well, as Hansi watched the coffee pouring through and activating miniature relays in the filters, he realized what was going on. Something with hydrogen. I'm not a research scientist for crying out loud! You all know how the darn principles work. Anyways, to make a long story short, I was reunited with my beagle, Hansi figured out Hydrogen Power, and the coffee he made had a lot of chemicals in it that shouldn't have been there. And it tasted good. End transmission. Wait. We're still broadcasting? Aieee! The Chinese, they see me, they see me! Turn it off!"
With that, the screen goes black.
As the Samtonian National Anthem blares in the background, a bespectacled researcher steps up to the podium, behind which the Samtonian flag is draped. He is thin, balding, and in his early 30's, from the looks of it. As he shuffles his papers around, he glances up at the camera and begins to speak.
"Errr, yes. Well, it..umm. it appears that Samtonia has discovereed the secrets of Hydrogen power. Well, not Samtonia, really, but Herr Doktor Wehrner von Helsten Grafaden Jokoben Neidelhammischer. We'll call him Hansi for short. (Don't ask why, it's a long story and it involves a coconut and a monkey). But anyways, Hansi was playing around with his coffee machine and did something rather stupid. I mean brilliant. Oh what's the difference? However, the monkey ran up and pulled Hansi's pants dow... yes, that's not what you want to hear. Going back to my point, you shouldn't put the chemical filters in in place of a coffee filter! And of course, spay and neuter your pets. Thank you. I'm not done? What? Where will I be sent? But I don't want to go... ok... ok... ahhhh, I see. Well, let me continue. And don't mind the penguins on my shoulders. Well, as Hansi watched the coffee pouring through and activating miniature relays in the filters, he realized what was going on. Something with hydrogen. I'm not a research scientist for crying out loud! You all know how the darn principles work. Anyways, to make a long story short, I was reunited with my beagle, Hansi figured out Hydrogen Power, and the coffee he made had a lot of chemicals in it that shouldn't have been there. And it tasted good. End transmission. Wait. We're still broadcasting? Aieee! The Chinese, they see me, they see me! Turn it off!"
With that, the screen goes black.