18-04-2004, 14:04
The United Capitalistastani Export Corporation is the largest exporter of goods in Capitalistastan. We offer this storefront to sell things to you, and turn a profit.
All transactions are governed by Capitalistastani business law, known as the Rules of Profit. We offer no guarantee of product safety, your safety using it, reliability, or if we can fool you, that it will be delivered once we get our money. We also make no guarantees of anything, at all, period. If, on the other hand, you do not pay up, UCEC enforcers will be on your doorstep. If you cannot pay, the product plus all your other possesions as interest will be repossessed and sold. Or kept for the personal enjoyment of our executive. For the trouble of having to go through that, we will charge a fee. Failure to pay the fee will lead you to have to sell your spouse and children to us. If you do not have a spouse or children, you will have to sell yourself to us. Failure to do this will result in torture. That is all.
All that said, welcome! We hope you have a wonderful business experience here! And buy lots of stuff! We accept anything as payment (that we agree to) and are always willing to haggle!
Products
Uranium
http://uraniumsa.org/about/images/uranium_ore.jpg
Uses:
Nuclear Bombs
Depleted Uranium Munitions
Nuclear Energy
Poison
Medical treatments
Many more!
As above, we make guarantees whatsoever of your safety using this product. We also don't give a crap what you do with it, as long as you don't attack Capitalistastan.
Capitala Luxury Sedan
http://fp.images.autos.msn.com/merismus/gallery/c443297a.jpg
http://fp.images.autos.msn.com/merismus/gallery/c443298a.jpg
http://fp.images.autos.msn.com/merismus/gallery/c443299a.jpg
Engine: 5.5L 543 hp V12
Horsepower: 543 @ 5250 RPM
Torque: 664 @ 2300 RPM
Max. Seating: 4
Length: 242.5 Inches
Width: 78
Height: 62
Features:
Sunroof
Air Conditioning
Power Windows
Power Door Locks
Leather Seats
Power Seats
CD Player
Satellite Radio
Nav. System
DVD Player and television
Car phone
Wireless internet access
Designed for wealthy executives. This car is the ultimate in luxury. A business jet on wheels.
Labora Compact Car
http://fp.images.autos.msn.com/merismus/Summary/q434017a.jpg
Engine: 1.0L 49 hp I3
Horsepower: 49
Torque: 58
Max. Seating: 4
Length: 146.10 Inches
Width: 62
Height: 52.4
Features:
It runs, okay?
Designed to make sure that wage sla... we mean laborers get to work... OR ELSE!
Beef
Sold by the kilogram. Available in Laborer (you don't want to know) and Executive (Best you can buy) quality.
All transactions are governed by Capitalistastani business law, known as the Rules of Profit. We offer no guarantee of product safety, your safety using it, reliability, or if we can fool you, that it will be delivered once we get our money. We also make no guarantees of anything, at all, period. If, on the other hand, you do not pay up, UCEC enforcers will be on your doorstep. If you cannot pay, the product plus all your other possesions as interest will be repossessed and sold. Or kept for the personal enjoyment of our executive. For the trouble of having to go through that, we will charge a fee. Failure to pay the fee will lead you to have to sell your spouse and children to us. If you do not have a spouse or children, you will have to sell yourself to us. Failure to do this will result in torture. That is all.
All that said, welcome! We hope you have a wonderful business experience here! And buy lots of stuff! We accept anything as payment (that we agree to) and are always willing to haggle!
Products
Uranium
http://uraniumsa.org/about/images/uranium_ore.jpg
Uses:
Nuclear Bombs
Depleted Uranium Munitions
Nuclear Energy
Poison
Medical treatments
Many more!
As above, we make guarantees whatsoever of your safety using this product. We also don't give a crap what you do with it, as long as you don't attack Capitalistastan.
Capitala Luxury Sedan
http://fp.images.autos.msn.com/merismus/gallery/c443297a.jpg
http://fp.images.autos.msn.com/merismus/gallery/c443298a.jpg
http://fp.images.autos.msn.com/merismus/gallery/c443299a.jpg
Engine: 5.5L 543 hp V12
Horsepower: 543 @ 5250 RPM
Torque: 664 @ 2300 RPM
Max. Seating: 4
Length: 242.5 Inches
Width: 78
Height: 62
Features:
Sunroof
Air Conditioning
Power Windows
Power Door Locks
Leather Seats
Power Seats
CD Player
Satellite Radio
Nav. System
DVD Player and television
Car phone
Wireless internet access
Designed for wealthy executives. This car is the ultimate in luxury. A business jet on wheels.
Labora Compact Car
http://fp.images.autos.msn.com/merismus/Summary/q434017a.jpg
Engine: 1.0L 49 hp I3
Horsepower: 49
Torque: 58
Max. Seating: 4
Length: 146.10 Inches
Width: 62
Height: 52.4
Features:
It runs, okay?
Designed to make sure that wage sla... we mean laborers get to work... OR ELSE!
Beef
Sold by the kilogram. Available in Laborer (you don't want to know) and Executive (Best you can buy) quality.