NationStates Jolt Archive


Carrot Top Arrested in Joeisglad, Cwiekoslovakia

Cwiekoslovakia
15-04-2004, 07:05
Cwiekoslovakian soldiers arrested "popular" college comic during a raid at a local nightclub in the nation's capital. The troops discovered Carrot Top attempting to make the crowd in attendence laugh through very sophomoric humor. "It was absurd," said Richard Kroenen, a soldier of Cwiekoslovakia. "He was making a baked potato dance with a spoon. It was utterly stupid, not funny in the least, and VERY illegal."

Cwiekoslovakia has had a strict policy against unfunny comedians since 1986 when then "popular" comic Blueberry Head performed at a state dinner for some of the nation's top leaders.

It is uncertain if Carrot Top has any chance of release.
Hamptonshire
15-04-2004, 07:12
The Grand Duchy of Hamptonshire applauds the capture of Carrot Top.

The world is now a much safer place.
Wormia
15-04-2004, 07:13
So we didn't get him when we blew up that star system.... damn. At least someone did.

When the first "Dial down the center" commercial reached our star system, rumor has it 11 people died of internal hemhorraging and an additional 14 seemed to exploded from relentless bombardment from bad humor on a cosmic scale. Never since the Vogon poets arrived has such a massacre occurred...
Wormia
15-04-2004, 07:16
Let's hope you catch the guy who thinks up the commercials too....
Raczembourg
15-04-2004, 07:18
Prime Minister Chuck Racz applauded Cwiekoslovakia for their capture of notorious stand-up comic Carrot Top. "He was so stupid," commented PM Racz, "and his material was so weak. Dancing paper cups and stories about trips to Grandmas are just not funny."
Chrizakhstan
15-04-2004, 07:19
The Chrizakhstani government applauds the apprehension of the notoriously unfunny "comic" known as Carrot Top. "Though no such legistlation exists in Chrizakhstan, we are very happy to see someone so utterly lacking the ability to make others laugh such as carrot top to finally appear in the one place he should be debuting, in front of a jury of his peers." stated one top ranking official. "The recent rise of the threat from low-brow sophomoric comics is a issue that concerns not only the citizens of Cwiekoslovakia and Chrizakhstan, but the region as a whole," he further noted.
Layarteb
15-04-2004, 07:58
In the sake of all that is human please lock him up for the rest of his life for being just an annoying pain in the butt.
The Resi Corporation
15-04-2004, 08:24
Taser his balls once for us.

-Dawn Kradii
Kuppo
15-04-2004, 09:22
Kuppo is happy to see one of the worlds most lethal terrorist is capture

his bad comic rountine has caused many suffering around the world
Laneski
15-04-2004, 10:10
The People's Republic of Laneski had thousands of its citizens rejoicing in the streets when word hit about Carrot Top's capture.

Premiere Nikolai spoke proudly with tears of joy, "this is a glorious day for all who live on the Accursed Isle."
Kay Son
15-04-2004, 10:49
It is not known whether or not the PRKS was lucky or unfortunate that knowledge of Carrot Top had not reached our shores.