Big Long Now
02-04-2004, 06:13
In a move to stop skateboarders from damaging federal property by 'grinding' on curbs and railings, the Confederacy spent $3.5 million to place Grind Stoppers(tm) on railings, curbs, and other grind spots favorite to skaters.
It has been four and a half years since the Skater Damage Act was put into action, and records from doctors offices and hospitals show that the Grind Stoppers have caused more damage than they were supposed to prevent. During a demonstration against the SDA, President Allen made a surprise appearance at the protest.
Over a megaphone, the president declared, "Today the Confederacy has repealed the Skater Damage Act, after careful deliberation and hearing your concerns since it was signed." The crowd erupted into applause as President Allen stepped into the crowd of demonstrators and shaked hands with many skateboarders injured by the Grind Stoppers.
Also, Congress announced that the 79,000 injured by the small metal stumps will recieve a $10,000 settlement paid in the next five years, costing the nation $790,000,000.
It has been four and a half years since the Skater Damage Act was put into action, and records from doctors offices and hospitals show that the Grind Stoppers have caused more damage than they were supposed to prevent. During a demonstration against the SDA, President Allen made a surprise appearance at the protest.
Over a megaphone, the president declared, "Today the Confederacy has repealed the Skater Damage Act, after careful deliberation and hearing your concerns since it was signed." The crowd erupted into applause as President Allen stepped into the crowd of demonstrators and shaked hands with many skateboarders injured by the Grind Stoppers.
Also, Congress announced that the 79,000 injured by the small metal stumps will recieve a $10,000 settlement paid in the next five years, costing the nation $790,000,000.