NationStates Jolt Archive


Resi becomes communist!

The Resi Corporation
02-04-2004, 00:15
CNN REPORTS:

A reporter appears on screen, his tie is loose, his hair is messed up, and he's holding a half-empty bottle of a clear liquid in one hand and a mike in the other. He begins to speak in a slurred voice.
"In a shocking turn of events today, CEO Jai Resi relinquished control of the Resi Corporation and turned it over to the common man. This truly marks the beginning of a new era for us all, as each and every citizen of the Resi Corporation now owns and manages it on the level with their former bosses. This means that I, reporter Springy McMyer, can now drink on the job and my ex-boss can't tell me not to. How do you like that, Steve? Huh? I can't hear you! Hey, guess what, I don't have to call your fat ass boss now! How do you like that? Anyway, before I finish off my third bottle of vodka, let's roll footage of Mr. Resi's speach."
A long pause.
"I said, LET'S ROLL FOOTAGE OF MR. RESI'S SPEACH!"
A voice from backstage yells back, "YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!"
"Dammit, I'll do it myself."

The camera changes to a scene of Jai Resi, standing at a podium looking out over the newly-rebuilt Market Square. He looks rather bored, disatisfied perhaps. Shuffling his papers, he looks out at the audience, clears his throat, and says,
"My employees! This has been a great fiscal year for the Resi Corporation, but not great enough. As you know, this means that you will be getting a temporary pay adjustment, and... and..."
He looks out over the crowd, and sees crying eyes and sobbing children. He stops for a second, then with a flourish he throws his speach papers into the air.
"To hell with this speach! To hell with the system! To hell with capitalism! Long live the common man! I hereby abolish this corporation, and set up what will soon become the perfect paradise for the working man! All members of the corporation are now perfect equals! Viva communism! Viva Marx! Viva la revolution!"
The crowd cheered, and banners with hammers and sicles appeared out of nowhere. Jai raised his hands, accepting the applause until he was thrown off stage by about twenty of his new equals who wanted the floor.
((OOC: April Fools, anyone? : P ))
((OOC: Check my nation page. :wink: ))
Hattia
02-04-2004, 00:26
Hehe, a communist corporation. That makes a whole lot of sense.

I am assuming this is for April Fools.
Cyberutopia
02-04-2004, 00:28
Nice joke (I think) and very nice flag. Yeah yeah, April Fools and all that. :P
The Resi Corporation
02-04-2004, 00:55
Hehe, a communist corporation. That makes a whole lot of sense.

I am assuming this is for April Fools.Like with everything else that comes out of our nation, you should check the fine print. :P
The Resi Corporation
02-04-2004, 02:46
Let's BUMP it up a notch.
Doujin
02-04-2004, 03:12
When I saw this I started laughing my ass off. Resi? Communist? Yea right! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Matich
02-04-2004, 06:40
LOL hahaha! Good one Resi!
Neo-Soviet Russia
02-04-2004, 06:44
CNN REPORTS:

This means that I, reporter Springy McMyer, can now drink on the job and my ex-boss can't tell me not to. How do you like that, Steve? Huh? I can't hear you! Hey, guess what, I don't have to call your fat ass boss now! How do you like that? Anyway, before I finish off my third bottle of vodka, let's roll footage of Mr. Resi's speach.

(That is...so...so so so wrong...yet damned amusing)