NationStates Jolt Archive


Public notice to Doggysland

Prolixia
25-03-2004, 09:11
DISPATCH: THE PUNY VICE MARSHALL TIM DOGG

IXNESS GIMLETUS
DEPUTY DIRECTOR PUNY NATION TRADE COMMISION
DEPARTMENT OF FOREIGN RELATIONS

We have recieved your obscene plea for help (dated 3-24-2004) and have discussed in sub-commitees and sub-sub-commitees the implications of opening up trade with such an insignificant nation as yours.

Rather than give in to your demands for assistance, we grant you an ultimatum:


1) You agree to grant Prolixia land within your borders for military use.
2) You accept the deportation of the physically weak and mentally feeble inhabitants of Prolixia into detainment camps that we have built on your soil.
3) You provide cheap labor alternatives for our motorcycle industry.
4) You cede 25% of your gross yearly gin manufacturing output to the great nation of Prolixia.

Fail to accede to all of our demands will bring you destruction from the influx of poor and destitute hobos we will rain upon your soil. Accept our proposition or watch your social system fall in shambles.

I HAVE SPOKEN

IXNESS GIMLETUS
DEPUTY DIRECTOR PUNY NATION TRADE COMMISION
DEPARTMENT OF FOREIGN RELATIONS