NationStates Jolt Archive

Following a continuing deterioration in relations between Gurning and Free Range Chickens, Gurning is expelling the Free Range Chickens ambassador, embassy staff and other members of their diplomatic mission.

Travellers, tourists and businessmen from Free Range Chickens are advised to cut short their stay, and return to their homeland as soon as possible.

Free Range Chickens denies Gurning’s report. Free Range Chickens has not maintained an embassy in Gurning because FRC has not recognized the current regime in Gurning ever since the last Gurning-FRC War. The only means of allowing the regular presence of FRC citizens in Gurning would be the establishment of normal relations, which was rejected by Gurning when it wholly rejected His Imperial Majesty's peace initiative.

If there are any citizens of FRC in Gurning, then they are commiting a Class C Felony. The laws of FRC prohibit presence in Gurning without being given a special license from Ministry of Foreign Affairs. In fact, nobody has even applied for such a license. Furthermore, if there are individuals purporting to be diplomatic staff, then they are committing a Class X Felony.

The Ministry of Justice is investigating these alleged crimes. Furthermore, the Royal Imperial Parliament has just passed a law providing for the loss of FRC citizenship by anyone who violates our prohibitions on dealing with Gurning. They have also passed a law providing for the immediate and indefinite detention of any citizen of Gurning who enters the jurisdiction of FRC.

The Ministry of Foreign Affairs has announced its intent to summarily reject any application for a special license for travel to Gurning. All those who present such applications will have their motives investigated by the Ministry of Justice.

Well official or not, these individuals are citizens of Free Range Chickens.

Since Free Range Chickens has deprived this, rather large, community of people their citizenship and declared them criminals for exercising their natural right to travel, Gurning shall grant them temporary refugee status.

After debriefing the more influential members of these ex-FRC, it seems clear that FRC is a police state based on a personality cult around an enfeebled emperor.

Much is also been said of the periodic ‘purges’ of dissenters crying out for a better way of living.

Gurning will help these exiles as best it can and see what they are capable of.

Several reporters in The Melissa have expressed a desire to interview the FRC exiles, and to investigate their backgrounds to verify their stories. Because of the threat of war, I am requesting immunity for them before they proceed to Gurning to seek interviews.

Rufti Bubblechunks
Foreign Minister for The Melissa

Gurning's allegations are preposterous. Each nation has the right to exercise extraterritorial jurisdiction over its citizens to forbid acts of and similar to treason.

Until the Ministry of Justice has completed its investigation, we cannot respond to Gurning's claims that a large community of FRC citizens are present in Gurning. If Gurning is telling the truth, however, then it should be noted that these individuals will not lose their FRC citizenship. FRC citizenship can only be revoked upon conviction for travel to Gurning, and these people have not even been indicted. Furthermore, the penalty of revocation of citizenship applies only to those who are convicted of illegal travel to Gurning that occurred after the new law was passed. Because the individuals in question allegedly arrived in Gurning before the new law was passed, they will not face loss of citizenship if they are ever charged and convicted.

Gurning's description of FRC as a police state is, of course, absurd. Our Emperor is our beloved head of state, but his powers are limited by democratic institutions. Specifically, all decisions that he makes require the consent of the Parliament. In the case of His Imperial Majesty's recent failed peace initiative, for example, had Gurning accepted the agreement, then it would only have acquired the force of law upon ratification by our democratically elected Parliament.

As for Gurning's claims of purges, we can only laugh. Perhaps Gurning is referring to the UN's statement that, " ... dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night." This is true, but it is only because of the fact that dissenters are often victims of the high rate of crime that the UN cites and that we have not been able to control. If we could eliminate the crime, then dissenters would surely be safer. The victimization of dissenters, however, is not the work of the govenment.

We suspect that all of these claims are merely ploys by Gurning to cover the fact that it has rejected all hope for a lasting peace between itself and FRC. FRC offered a peace agreement that would have been quite favorable to Gurning. Gurning's leaders who are guilty of war crimes would have had to simply admit to their crimes and resign from public office in order to receive full immunity from prosecution. The government of Gurning would only have been required to make a relatively small payment of reparations to the remaining victims of Gurning's past crimes and to establish a museum about the atrocities of the last FRC-Gurning War. Gurning rejected this offer and chose to accelerate its weapons production.

If there are individuals claiming to have been persecuted in FRC, we suspect that Gurning is coercing them into doing so. In fact, it is not clear if they would have arrived in Gurning voluntarily. The Ministry of Justice will, therefore, give immunity from prosecution to all those who admit to illegal travel to Gurning and have not engaged in any direct attempt to threaten the security of FRC.

Gurning disagrees.

Gurning believes that it FRC who is responsible for dissenters disappearances.

People who are the victims of crime may be called many things, but ‘dissenters’ is not one of them.

Gurning would be happy to have The Melissa interview the exiles.

Gurning has observed the response of the FRC exile community and notes that roughly a ¼ of them have begun preparations to return to their homeland. The rest seem to remain doubtful about FRC’s intentions towards them.

We only referred to the victims of the crimes in question as dissenters because the United nations has referred to them as such and in order to distinguish them from the many other people who are apolitical and are victims of various forms of crime. Naturally, we wish that we had little to no crime, but we face a situation very different from what we hoped. The only way that the government could be considered responsible was if it is surmised that the government could do something to eliminate the crime that occurs in our nation. If we knew of a solution, we would enact it, but Gurning is clearly no more capable of reducing crime than we are. Furthermore, what the UN does not note are the many other apolitical and pro-government citizens who vanish from their homes at night due to the many criminals on the street.

Whether the "exile community" chooses to return home is a matter on which we cannot comment, as we lack sufficient information to even confirm the existence of such a community. Furthermore, we have no evidence confirming that Gurning was correct in its initial claims that there were citizens fraudulantly claiming to be diplomatic staff. For this reason, we will continue to assume that Gurning's propaganda machine is at work fabricating the news of our supposed exiles.

Despite Gurning's recent actions, we have been in receipt of one positive development that we wish to publicly acknowledge. Gurning has sent the following telegram:

"In the interests of peace, Gurning will destroy its biological and chemical arsenals, if you do so at the same time.

"One nation in Libertarian Alliance to watch your disarmament, and one nation from Internet Infidels to do the same to me.

"Do you accept?"

Naturally, His Imperial Majesty accepted this offer and the Royal Imperial Parliament ratified his decision. Because FRC lacks any chemical or biological weapons, inspectors from The Melissa shall simply inspect various military bases to confirm this. FRC is presently searching for a nation from its own region to act as an inspector to confirm Gurning's disarmament. If we cannot find a willing nation from our region, then we will request that Gurning allow a nation from another region to fulfill the responsibility.

GNN broadcast:

The camera pans across crowded inner city tenement blocks filled with ex FRC citizens before focusing on a female reporter

“…these were just everyday people like the citizens of Gurning, going about their holidays and business, until the current crisis sparked by the attempt to expel Free Range Chickens diplomatic mission. Citizens attempting to return home were dubbed criminals and imprisoned without trial. Though the Emperor in a recent news conference said that the returning citizens were not criminals and welcome home, sources suggest that the former citizens remain incarcerated. The Emperor elderly and recently taken ill has been leaving everyday running of government to a handful of advisors known as the ‘gang of six’. With no guarantee of what may happen to them on returning home, many ‘exiles’ are opting to remain here in Gurning for the time being. As the crisis drags on…”

[OOC] Since it constitutes god-modding to make up something about someone else's nation, I will proceed on the assumption that Gurning manufactured the report as a propaganda piece.

[IC]

His Imperial Majesty was not sure whether he should be angry or amused by Gurning's recent piece of theatre. His Majesty has requested that I address several of the fallacies in the GNN broadcast.

First of all, nobody has been imprisoned. Despite the change in the law and the amnesty program to ensure the safe return of any FRC citizens currently in Gurning, the Ministry of Justice has no documented cases of FRC citizens returning from Gurning. This has caused everyone to seriously doubt all of Gurning's claims. Even if the Government wished to imprison people, it would be impossible given our lack of a prison system.

Furthermore, the report references the discredited claim of a previous FRC embassy in Gurning. FRC has not maintained diplomatic relations with Gurning since the last FRC-Gurning War due to the lack of any kind of peace treaty. The allegations of the existence of an exile community came only after we identified that FRC citizens would be commiting illegal travel and fraudulant representation of themselves as diplomatic officials if there was a site purporting to be the FRC mission to Gurning. If there was an exile community, then one would presume that Gurning would have cited such a community rather than initially citing only, "Travellers, tourists and businessmen from Free Range Chickens." Gurning's story seems to change regularly in order to draw attention from the fact that it is a theocratic, aggressive regime that rejected a peace initiative with FRC shortly after commiting persecution of millions of non-Protestants. (His Imperial Majesty wishes to thank The Melissa for informing him of Gurning's most recent crimes against humanity.)

Finally, while the Emperor has aged considerably since the last Gurning-FRC War, he is in amazing health. The Emperor is in control of his Government. As evidence of the Emperor's health and vitality, all are advised to watch recent footage of the Emperor's question-and-answer session in Parliament, where the Emperor provided a spirited response to some criticisms of him by the minority party (which happens to possess only five percent of the seats). All ministers are held to account by the Emperor, and His Imperial Majesty asked me to note that he would abdicate his throne long before he would let six people sit on it by proxy.

The fact that Gurning keeps producing more absurd propaganda is cause for alarm and only reflects the level of mind control that a vicious government maintains over the people of Gurning. These are the consequences of allowing Gurning to be run by war criminals for so long. FRC and all its allies, sadly, must take some of the responsibility for having allowed the people of Gurning to be held hostage by psychotic criminals.

His Imperial Majesty has instructed the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to disclose that the Ministry of Defense has announced that it now has an intercontinental ballistic missile capacity of not less than 150,000 warheads. Other highly destructive weapons systems shall not be disclosed at this time.

Alexandre Monaco
Minister of Foreign Affairs

FRC talks about disarmament and a peace process, and then announces that it has 150,000 nuclear warheads ready to go. It's suspected that FRC is not taking any progress towards detente seriously.

The Gurning’s nuclear arsenal, while specifics will remain classified, is smaller than FRC but after seeing such a figure bandied around, will increase through accelerated production.

Gurning has also halted the destruction of its biological and chemical weapons.

Disarmament is not going to happen in Gurning, while FRC threatens us, and Libertarian Alliance with apocalypse.

The Empire of Free Range Chickens is most dismayed by Gurning's cancellation of the most recent arms limitation agreement. It should be noted that FRC has been and is willing to negotiate limitations or disarmament of nuclear weapons capabilities. Gurning has rejected any nuclear disarmament proposals. As Gurning has refused to initiate any discussion on nuclear weapons, FRC has violated neither the letter nor spirit of any agreement with Gurning.

It is ironic that Gurning attempts to condemn FRC for having a significant nuclear arsenal. It is Gurning, after all, who responded to our offer of disarmament and peace with an announcement that it would accelerate its weapons production. Gurning has since initiated--and subsequently cancelled--biological and chemical disarmament talks, but has indicated no willingness to consider any limitations on nuclear arms.

FRC has not threatened Gurning and Libertarian Alliance with apocalypse. Rather, we have maintained a significant deterrent against aggression by Gurning. This is completely justified and reasonable in light of the fact that Gurning's current leaders are the same people who murdered 150,000,000 FRC citizens and refused to offer so much as an apology. We should also note that Gurning recently demonstrated its psychotic and destructive mindset when it threatened to destroy the entire world. See http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=130518&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=60

When Gurning mentions a threat to Libertarian Alliance, it apparently alludes to reports that our deterrent system would likely cause some damage to Gurning's neighbors if deployed. We are pleased to note that we have since worked to modify our system and greatly minimized any such capacity to third party nations to virtually zero. Regardless, Gurning is apparently located in the region of Texas now and any war with Gurning would not affect nations in Libertarian Alliance.

All evidence indicates that the highest levels of leadership in Gurning are occupied by hypocrites and murderers. We cannot negotiate with such a regime.

Alexandre Monaco
Minister of Foreign Affairs

Gurning believed at the time when it announced Biological and Chemical disarmament, that the FRC nuclear arsenal was much smaller. This was based on what appears now to be faulty intelligence reports. After glimpsing the scale of the threat towards our motherland, it would be foolish to throw away useful deterrents.

Gurning has little blood on its hands compared to FRC. Nuclear terrorism, 10,000 ICBM attacks and two billion deaths on its hands are among FRC’s many crimes.
http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=100888&start=40

FRC’s current regime will no doubt say how the actions of its predecessor have no bearing on the current regime.

The same can be said for FRC accusations towards previous Gurning regimes.

At the request of Free Range Chickens' leadership, Grim Greer has been dispatched to serve as a weapons inspector for Free Range Chickens. She is a private citizen of The Melissa, but has been made a Deputy Minister of War for purposes of this mission.

She and her team are charged with seeking evidence of any chemical or biological weapons within Free Range Chickens, and publicizing the existence of same if any are found. They will also verify the size of FRC's nuclear arsenal.

Dr. Greer is not working with the government of Free Range Chickens, although they are expected to cooperate with her. She is an independent agent.

Rufti Bubblechunks
Foreign Minister for The Melissa

At leas a dozen reporters have also left The Melissa, destined for Gurning. Their stated intentions are to interview the FRC expatriates, and to conduct background research to verify that they are indeed citizens of Free Range Chickens.

Rufti Bubblechunks
Foreign Minister for The Melissa

Gurning's statement of moral equivalency of the current regimes of FRC and Gurning are quite ridiculous. Gurning's previous oppressive and murderous regimes were never dismantled and never did anything to bring war criminals to justice. This is in contrast to the current regime of FRC, which consists of those who assisted in bringing down the past regime. FRC also paid reparations for the crimes of past leaders once the past regime was destroyed and brought all surviving war criminals to justice. Gurning, meanwhile, kept its war criminals in power and refused to offer so much as an apology for its crimes against humanity.

We are dealing with the same group of thugs who killed over 150,000,000 citizens of FRC. The war criminals from FRC, meanwhile, are all dead. His Imperial Majesty's peace initiative offered Gurning a chance to make amends for its past mistakes, but the problem is that Gurning's past regime of war criminals lives on.

The soldiers and leaders of Gurning’s past have all long ago died of old age.

The current generation see no need to apologise, let alone pay for, their grandfathers sins against FRC.

Disarmament is now believed to be a ruse, played by a still embittered ancient emperor, who as soon as when Gurning announces that it possesses no NBC would launch some kind of attack against a weakened Gurning.

The Mellissa’s reporters will have full access to the exiles.

We also await the inspection results for FRC biological and chemical weapons.

The following is a transcript of a broadcast on TMNN.

CHICKENS WITH THEIR HEADS CUT OFF, PART I
By Tara Trantor for The Melissa Network News

[ open with Trantor on a street in Gurning's bustling capital city ]

TRANTOR: A veritable flotilla of TMNN reporters has descended upon Gurning to interview and research the individuals represented as exiles from Free Range Chickens. Tonight we will show you live clips from one of the first interviews.

[ cut to Trantor interviewing Sergei Teremov ]

TRANTOR: Please tell our audience your name.
TEREMOV: Sergei Teremov.
TRANTOR: And you are a citizen of Free Range Chickens?
TEREMOV: Yes.
TRANTOR: How did you come to Gurning?
TEREMOV: Um . . . I moved here about ten years ago. To marry my wife.
TRANTOR: So you live here permanently?
TEREMOV: I was planning to.
TRANTOR: But you are still a citizen of Free Range Chickens?
TEREMOV: Yes. That's what my passport says.
TRANTOR: Are you an ambassador of Free Range Chickens? Or possessed of any other kind of diplomatic standing?
TEREMOV: [laughs] No.
TRANTOR: Do you ever plan to return to Free Range Chickens?
TEREMOV: Well, I was planning to visit my family this winter. But now I guess I can't.
TRANTOR: Why is that?
TEREMOV: Because of what they told us about the purges.
TRANTOR: Purges?
TEREMOV: Yes, the Gurning government invited us all into protective custody. They told us that any Free Range Chickens citizens who returned to Free Range Chickens would be arrested as war criminals. They said FRC is having purges of dissidents now, like in my grandfather's day under Nikolai.
TRANTOR: Have you talked to your family in Free Range Chickens?
TEREMOV: No. There's a communication blackout, because of the threat of war.
TRANTOR: Have you talked with anyone in Free Range Chickens about this? Or heard any broadcasts from Free Range Chickens, or read any newspapers?
TEREMOV: No. Because of the blackout.
TRANTOR: I see. But you believe your life or freedom might be in danger if you returned home?
TEREMOV: Who wants to take a chance like that?
TRANTOR: Mmmm. [pause] You mentioned that you are living in protective custody. Is that voluntary?
TEREMOV: Yes. At least I think it is. I guess I haven't tried to leave.
TRANTOR: If you did, do you think Gurning would let you?
TEREMOV: I don't know.

[ cut to Trantor standing in front of the protective custody housing ]

TRANTOR: Like so many of the rest of us, Mr. Teremov doesn't quite know what to think. Would Mr. Teremov be allowed to leave protective custody if he chose? Is Gurning using its best intellligence to warn him of a real danger, or feeding him propaganda in order to use him as a morale tool? And what would be his fate if he did return home -- a carefree visit with his family, or a tribunal?

This reporter can draw no conclusions yet. But TMNN won't stop until we get to the bottom of the story behind the Free Range Chickens citizens in Gurning. Stay tuned for tomorrow's broadcast, when my colleague seeks an interview with Mr. Teremov's family.

This is Tara Trantor for TMNN.

The soldiers and leaders of Gurning’s past have all long ago died of old age.

This is patently false. Our current Emperor, Daniel II, was a young member of the Coalition of the Few at the time of the first conflict between our two nations. Even if he has lived longer than all of Gurning's leaders who were part of the first conflict, there most certainly must be leaders and soldiers from the second conflict--in which Gurning engaged in mass murder--who are alive today. Considering that Daniel II was young adult during the first conflict, middle-aged during the second conflict, and elderly today, many of the leaders and soldiers from Gurning who committed war crimes must be either middle aged or elderly. Thus, we do not accept Gurning's claims that it no longer harbors war criminals.

If Gurning asserts that all its war criminals have all died from old age, then why do we still have citizens who were alive and permanently injured in the last conflict?

PRESS RELEASE BY THE MINISTRY OF JUSTICE
March 30, 2004

The Minister of Justice was presented with a recommendation by a senior level prosecutor that Mr. Teremov receive immunity from prosecution for the offense of Travel to Gurning Without a License, a Class C Felony. After investigating the matter, the Minister of Justice dismissed the recommendation on the grounds that Mr. Teremov cannot be prosecuted.

The act of entering Gurning without a license constitutes a single, distinct offense. Because Mr. Temerov apparently entered Gurning a single time ten years ago, he committed a single illicit act. As there is no law prohibiting remaining in Gurning after one has entered through either legal or illegal means, Mr. Teremov did not commit a single offense against Free Range Chickens following his initial entry.

The Criminal Code of Free Range Chickens states, "An indictment for a Class C Felony must be issued within two years of the offense." Mr. Teremov, therefore, cannot be indicted for his apparent crime and can be subject to no penalties.

In light of this finding by the Minister of Justice, the Ministry of Justice will only receive applications for immunity from prosecution by those who have entered Gurning within the past two years. All others need not apply because they are protected by the statute of limitations.

The soldiers and leaders of Gurning’s past have all long ago died of old age.

If Gurning asserts that all its war criminals have all died from old age, then why do we still have citizens who were alive and permanently injured in the last conflict?

To answer that question:

The elder leaders died of old age.

The middle-aged leaders died of ‘old age’; power shifts quickly at the top.

In domestic matters:

The media blackout will continue, as Gurning’s intelligence networks suggest that FRC is beginning a disinformation campaign.

The exiles are free to leave, at any time, to go anywhere. Gurning is advising the exiles not to return to FRC at this time because the situation over there is still far from clear.

In military matters:

Gurning, thanks to accelerated production, now possesses 20,000 nuclear warheads.

Gurning feels that 20,000 is enough of a deterrent when combined with our biological and chemical stocks.

Gurning's explanation is unsatisfactory for several reasons. It is reasonable to believe that the war criminals who were elderly have since died. We do not dispute this. The vast majority of those who were middle-aged, however, would be alive as elderly citizens today because most people in Gurning surely live past 60. The war criminals who were young at the time of the conflict are surely alive today. All evidence indicates that there were many war criminals in their twenties at the time of the last war who are in their forties today and in policy-making positions.

Gurning's government is further saturated with war criminals when one considers that the same leaders of all ages who rejected His Imperial Majesty's peace initiative were those who have very recently committed crimes against humanity within their own borders and against other countries.

Gurning's disinformation campaign in the name of blocking a disinformation campaign strikes most as alarmingly similar to the rhetoric of the murderous Nikolai regime that existed several decades ago in Free Range Chickens. The Institute for the Study of the Crimes of the Nikolai Regime has issued a report on the similarities and warning policy-makers in FRC to exercise extreme caution when proceeding with the current situation.

His Imperial Majesty has taken note of the recommendations of the Institute. He has also indicated a willingness to discuss bilaterial disarmament with Gurning at any time. He has no desire to see FRC in continued possession of weapons of mass destruction and is willing to destroy all such weapons if Gurning does the same and removes all war criminals from public office. Of course, His Imperial Majesty is realistic enough to understand that it is highly unlikely that the current regime of Gurning will agree to such terms.

Alexandre Monaco
Minister of Foreign Affairs

The following report was delivered to Her Majesty earlier today. I am publicizing it upon Her Majesty's instruction.

Rufti Bubblechunks
Foreign Minister for The Melissa



REPORT OF OUR FINDINGS UPON INSPECTING THE WEAPONRY OF FREE RANGE CHICKENS

Executive summary: We found no biological or chemical weaponry. We did find a substantial nuclear arsenal, including some nuclear weaponry which Free Range Chickens has not disclosed to the international community.

The Free Range Chickens government was most cooperative. We were allowed immediate access to all facilities, even when we turned up for a surprise visit, and we never asked to enter any room which was not immediately opened for us.

We also inspected large facilities which were identified as centers of private industry, but in theory could have been secret military complexes. The citizens were generally quite cooperative, and in all but three cases we were able to verify directly that these centers were what they purported to be. In the remaining three cases, where the owners denied us access, we observed them closely in order to reach the conclusion that they were almost certainly what they were claimed to be.

In addition to its conventional capabilities, Free Range Chickens has the ability to launch up to 80,000 nuclear-tipped ICBMs. All of this was as expected.

A more disturbing discovery was that Free Range Chickens now possesses cobalt bomb capability. As Your Majesty is no doubt aware, cobalt bombs are far more powerful even than traditional nuclear weapons. Since nuclear warheads coated with Co-60 (cobalt) spread their fallout over a far wider area, their damage is far more devastating. 10,000 of their nuclear ICBMs are cobalt-tipped.

We did not find any evidence that Free Range Chickens possesses "suitcase nukes," the small nuclear weapons delivered by hand or van. All weaponry we found was military rather than terroristic in nature.

We are undeniably disturbed by our findings. We were unaware that Free Range Chickens possessed such devastating weaponry as cobalt bombs. But since they have not denied the existence of such weaponry, we cannot conclude that they have been false in their dealings with the international community.


Serving at Your Majesty's pleasure, I remain
Dr. Grim Greer
Duly Deputized Minister of War
University of Queensville

The following is a transcript of a broadcast on TMNN.

CHICKENS WITH THEIR HEADS CUT OFF, PART II
By Dink Dinkamus for The Melissa Network News

[ open with Dinkamus in the TMNN studio ]

DINKAMUS: Previously, Tara Trantor brought you a live interview with a Free Range Chickens expatriate living in Gurning. Tonight we bring you an interview with his family, who have agreed to visit us here in Queensville.

[ camera pans back to show Petyr Teremov, Katha Teremov, and Ana Smyt ]

DINKAMUS: Mr. Teremov, you are Sergei's father. Is that correct?
P. TEREMOV: Yes. He is my son.
DINKAMUS: And your son lives in Gurning?
P. TEREMOV: Yes. He has lived there for about ten years.
DINKAMUS: Have you seen him since he moved?
P. TEREMOV: We saw him about five years ago, when he came home to visit. And we spoke on the phone frequently until recently.
DINKAMUS: What happened recently?
P. TEREMOV: We can't reach him any more. There's a blackout between FRC and Gurning.
DINKAMUS: Have you heard from him in any other way?
P. TEREMOV: No. We were all worried about him until we saw him on TV.
DINKAMUS: And now you're not worried any more?
P. TEREMOV: He seemed OK.
K. TEREMOV: [interrupting] *I'm* still worried. Who knows what those Gurning people are doing in that detention camp?
SMYT: Mom, it's not a detention camp. It's protective custody.
K. TEREMOV: You don't know that! You don't know that!
DINKAMUS: Mrs. Teremov, I take it you are still concerned for his safety. You are his mother, correct?
K. TEREMOV: Yes, I'm his mother.
DINKAMUS: And Ms. Smyt, you are his sister?
SMYT: Yes.
DINKAMUS: Mrs. Teremov, are you planning to see your son any time soon?
K. TEREMOV: He was supposed to come home this winter. But now those Gurning people won't let him.
DINKAMUS: He told you they won't let him?
K. TEREMOV: No, but what else could it be?
DINKAMUS: Mrs. Teremov, Sergei told my colleague that he is in protective custody voluntarily.
K. TEREMOV: Why would he do that?

[ roll clip from previous interview, in which S. Teremov speaks of hearing of purges and tribunals in FRC ]

K. TEREMOV: That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. They're feeding him a load of crap.
DINKAMUS: So there haven't been any purges?
K. TEREMOV: Of course not.
DINKAMUS: Have there been any trials of people who have visited Gurning?
K. TEREMOV: How can you try somebody for visiting somewhere?
SMYT: Mom, it actually is a crime to visit Gurning. Because of the cold war.
DINKAMUS: Ms. Smyt, has anybody been charged with this crime?
SMYT: Nobody I know.
DINKAMUS: Are you aware of the Minister of Justice' announcement about the statute of limitations on that crime?
SMYT: Yes. I know Sergei's OK. I'm just saying it's a crime, technically. I'm just saying.
DINKAMUS: So you think it would be safe for Sergei to visit you?
SMYT: Certainly.
DINKAMUS: What about you, Mr. and Mrs. Teremov?
K. TEREMOV: Oh yes.
P. TEREMOV: Yes, I do.
DINKAMUS: Has anyone in Free Range Chickens threatened you or coerced you to say that FRC is safe? Please don't be afraid to say so; you are on The Melissa's soil and no one can harm you here.
K. TEREMOV: Threatened us? What for?
P. TEREMOV: No, nobody has threatened us or coerced us.
DINKAMUS: What about you, Ms. Smyt?
SMYT: [laughs] No. And tell him I said "Rascal is in."
DINKAMUS: I beg your pardon?
SMYT: He'll know what it means.

[ closeup on Dinkamus ]

DINKAMUS: It appears that the Teremov family believes it would be safe for Sergei to return. Will he do so? Tune in for our next installment, when we do a followup interview with Sergei Teremov and convey his sister's rather cryptic message.

This is Dink Dinkamus for TMNN.

Earlier today, one of Gurning's key early warning centres went offline.

Gurning’s military is not 100% sure of what has happened but initial reports suggest sabotage or espionage.

Gurning is suspicious that this may be the involvement of FRC or the FRC exiles.

The phrase ‘rascal is in’, is now being seen in a new light.

A systematic review of Gurning’s NBC security is beginning

In the meantime and in light of what seems to be an attack, a comprehensive survey of the FRC exiles will begin. After processing they will be free to leave for FRC.

His Imperial Majesty appeared on Free Range Chickens National Television (FRCNTV) for the following interview:

FRCNTV Spokesperson Alexia Avaliska: Welcome, Your Imperial Majesty. It is an honor to interview you.

His Imperial Majesty: It is always an honor for me to be able to speak as a leader in possession of the trust of a great people.

FRCNTV: Your Imperial Majesty, there are many very troubling developments with regard to the diplomatic situation with Gurning. First of all, I would like to address the report of weapons inspectors from The Melissa. Is the report accurate?

HIM: Yes, it adequately describes what weapons our armed forces do and do not possess.

FRCNTV: Your Imperial Majesty is confirming that the armed forces of Free Range Chickens are in possession of approximately 10,000 cobalt-tipped nuclear warheads?

HIM: That is correct. We should note that these while the additional destructive capabilities of the bomb described in the report are accurate, there are some more complexities. We would like to note, first and foremost, that such weapons actually have less blast capability. Because they are essentially a typical hydorogen bomb with Co-60 in place of the U-238, the bomb is a high-radiation fission-fusion bomb instead of a regular fission-fusion-fission.

FRCNTV: Your Imperial Majesty, several commentators on programs today strongly criticized possession of such weapons. One political analyst from a competing network argued, and I quote, "Our Emperor's policy has little benefit and many risks. Does he not realize what severe damage this can do to our international reputation? There's deterrence and there's foolishness. I fear that our leaders are straddling the fine line between the two."

HIM: Naturally, we disagree with this assertion. In order to have a credible deterrence, it is quite important to have a response capability that is both massive and varied. Our nuclear stockpile accomplishes this. Right now, our nuclear deterrence is such that if Gurning were to attack us, it is quite clear that several mechanisms will demonstrate the seriousness of our statements warning Gurning. We believe that only a truly suicidal regime in Gurning should ever bring destruction to FRC.

FRCNTV: What about the previous policy of mutual disarmament? Is Your Imperial Majesty not contradicting previous statements supporting that concept?

HIM: No. We want nuclear disarmament as much as anyone else. We do not like the fact that we are in possession of such a massive nuclear stockpile. We have repeatedly indicated that we are willing to dispose of it in its entirety if Gurning does the same simultaneously. Such willingness is not, however, what we were given. We were given two options after our last major peace initiative failed: Either we could continue to press for peace with a hostile government that was indicating a desire to expand capacity to wipe us out, or we could pursue a policy of peace through strength. We those the latter That is, when dealing with such a regime as that in Gurning, we must always pursue peace, but we must always make it clear to Gurning's leaders that they cannot expect to be able to destroy the lives of FRC citizens and still survive.

FRCNTV: On the issue of FRC citizens, what about the hot topic of FRC citizens who are located in Gurning now. How do you respond to concerns that they have been persecuted and disenfranchised?

HIM: We have long had an embargo against trade with and travel to Gurning. This has been to prevent our national resources to be used by those who would develop means of slaughtering our people. The law, like all laws, provides for criminal penalties for violation. To the best of my knowledge, however, the law has never been enforced. Given that we are, sadly, poorly equipped to deal with violent criminals, dealing prosecution of illegal travelers to Gurning would be completely impossible.

FRCNTV: But has the law not gone to far recently? Why was the law modified to provide for loss of citizenship for those convicted and detention of Gurning citizens who enter FRC? How can the FRC Civil Liberties Union not be correct to state that this law threatens the freedom of all citizens?

HIM: In hindsight, we have to admit that the changes to the law may have been extreme. It is important, though, to understand the circumstances and nature of the law. The provision for loss of citizenship upon conviction was passed when we believed that there may have been a racketeering operation in Gurning that was threatening our security by fraudulantly claiming to represent dangerous policy. It is now clear that Gurning manufactured these so-called diplomats as part of its Nikolai-esque agenda.

FRCNTV: But what about the detentions provision? That clearly crossed the line.

HIM: The law did provide for the detention of gurning citizens as precautionary measure, but it should be noted that significant protections were provided. The law provided that a detention not last for more than 90 hours unless the person could be demonstrated to a judge to be likely to be an operative of a foreign government acting against FRC. Essentially, the detention provision was to make sure that all Gurning citizens in FRC were checked to make sure that they were not terrorists.

FRCNTV: The Ministry of Justice has been implementing a number of policies that are designed to limit the scope of these laws--

HIM: Of which no provision has ever been enforced, we should add--

FRCNTV: Yes, thank you. Clearly, the scope has been limited in actual enforcement. Why not simply repeal them?

HIM: Actually, we are planning to do just that. The most recent laws will be repealed entirely. Gurning citizens will not be routinely detained and loss of citizenship shall not be a possibility for those who are convicted of illegal travel to Gurning. Also, we are limiting the scope of the old law. Travel to Gurning will only be prosecutable if the travel is either commercial in nature or is designed to conspire with the government of Gurning or otherwise threaten the security of FRC. Also, a provision is added that states those who have gone to Gurning in the past two years may not be convicted if they can demonstrate that they engaged in travel without intent to support the Gurning economy or government.

FRCNTV: When will this take place?

HIM: We expect to be able to take definitive action on this within the next thirty-six hours.

FRCNTV: Your Imperial Majesty, we don't have much time left for this broadcast. I would like to focus on the news blackout in Gurning and the reports of sabotage in the Gurning military.

HIM: We agree that these are issues that are alarming in several regards. We believe that these policies demonstrate the instability and chaos within the government of Gurning. The weapons failure is apparently indicative of problems with Gurning's weapons systems. The news blackout also indicates a perceived need to isolate the Gurning people from the influence of various parts of the world. Certainly, it would be quite impossible, for example, for citizens of FRC in this day and age to be brainwashed as they were in the days of Nikolai when anyone can access thousands of stations with different viewpoints at home, news from other Internet Infidels countries, and from other regions. Citizens here have been known recently to cross-reference broadcasts between FRCNTV and news sources from The Melissa. People in Gurning do not now have this same defense against mind-control, and we are quite worried about this. We hope that we can achieve some level of peace and stability, but the conditions are such that Gurning is a powder keg.

FRCNTV: What about the interviews with the FRC citizens from TMNN?

HIM: We think the interviews show that any FRC citizens in Gurning have been brainwashed by the government there. It indicates the level of disinformation by Gurning. Clearly, we have not gone after any of our citizens and are working to see that our laws do not accidentally harm them. It is also alarming that Gurning has mocked the dialects of our Western Regions so as to suggest that those who say, "The rascal is in," to discuss admission to higher education are criminals. Clearly, Gurning is trying to use every aspect of what is good about FRC to hate us.

FRCNTV: And we're now out of time. Thank you, Your Imperial Majesty.

HIM: Thank you.

Gurning has screened the FRC exiles, and out of the 1,000 being held in Capital City, near the damaged early warning radar, 980 are found innocent of any wrongdoing, they are free to leave for FRC at any time they wish.

However 20 individuals, whose identities are to remain confidential at this time, have been found to be ‘suspicious’.

They are to be tried before a closed military tribunal, and if they are found guilty of the crime of espionage will be put to death.

Gurning’s military is going to a higher state of alert in light of enemy infiltration.

The following is a transcript of a broadcast on TMNN.

CHICKENS WITH THEIR HEADS CUT OFF, PART III
By Tara Trantor for The Melissa Network News

[ open with black ]

VOICEOVER: By popular demand, we are continuing our focus on the Teremov family. Clips from our other interviews are available on our web site.

[ fade in Trantor in an interview setting ]

TRANTOR: Yesterday we spoke with Sergei Teremov's family, who assured us all that Mr. Teremov is free to return to Free Range Chickens in perfect safety. Now we follow up with a second interview with Mr. Teremov himself.

[ camera pans back to show both Trantor and Sergei Teremov ]

TRANTOR: Mr. Teremov, you've seen the interview with your family?
TEREMOV: Yes.
TRANTOR: What are your thoughts?
TEREMOV: I'm glad they're OK.
TRANTOR: Do you think you will proceed with your original plan to visit them?
TEREMOV: No. I'll stay here.
TRANTOR: Don't you want to see your family?
TEREMOV: Sure, I'd like to see them. But I'll stay here.
TRANTOR: Mr. Teremov, can you explain your sister's comment for our viewers?
TEREMOV: You mean that Rascal is in? Rascal was a mean dog who lived in our neighborhood when were were kids. When Rascal was inside, it was safe to go out and play. She was telling me that it was safe to come home.
TRANTOR: What did His Imperial Majesty Daniel II mean about admission to higher education?
TEREMOV: The major western university calls their football team the Rascals. People who live in that area refer to the students as rascals. But I don't think that's what Ana meant; she already graduated from college.
TRANTOR: Mr. Teremov, why don't you want to visit your family?
TEREMOV: I would like to see them. But I think it would be wiser to stay here, given the situation.
TRANTOR: Do you believe it would be safe to go home?
TEREMOV: Yes. Ana said it was. And I don't believe she was coerced; nobody else would have known to tell her to say that. Even His Imperial Majesty didn't know what she meant.
TRANTOR: Then why don't you want to visit them?
TEREMOV: I just think it would be unwise. In the current situation.
TRANTOR: [pause] Mr. Teremov, have you made any attempt to leave protective custody?
TEREMOV: [pause] No.
TRANTOR: Are you certain that you are free to leave?
TEREMOV: Yes. I'd be free to go.
TRANTOR: Mr. Teremov, are you certain? Don't be afraid to tell the truth. The world is watching. You've become a celebrity in The Melissa, and our militias wouldn't allow any harm to come to you. Please tell us truthfully whether or not you are free to leave.
TEREMOV: [pause] I am certain. I am completely free to leave at any time. And you can tell the world, and tell your militias too. You can tell the army, you can tell the navy, and you can tell it to the marines.
TRANTOR: I'm glad to hear that, Mr. Teremov. And is there any message you'd like to convey to your family in Free Range Chickens?
TEREMOV: Tell them that I love them and I miss them, and I hope to see them again when all this is over.
TRANTOR: Thank you, Mr. Teremov.

[ camera moves in to focus on Trantor ]

TRANTOR: And so Sergei Teremov remains well, and also remains in Gurning. What does the future hold for this family separated by the threat of war? Be sure to keep watching TMNN for updates on the Teremov family and on the tense Gurning-FRC situation.

This is Tara Trantor for TMNN.

The Royal Imperial Parliament has ratified the modifications to the law of Free Range Chickens that His Imperial Majesty mentioned in his recent interview with FRCNTV. The Royal Imperial Parliament has also passed a resolution strongly condemning Gurning for apparently plotting to execute FRC citizens on false charges and without the benefit of a fair and open trial. The resolution demands that all FRC citizens be subject only to fair proceedings and that all the prisoners be allowed to return to FRC as soon as possible.

It is absurd to believe that FRC is somehow intervening in Gurning. In the absence of any relations with Gurning and without any employees of our Government in Gurning, FRC's only source of information about FRC nationals in Gurning is that which we learn from foreign media. We could not intervene in Gurning as has been suggested even if we so desired.

The subtext of certain phrases in Mr. Teremov's interview has, after analysis by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, caused us to doubt that Mr. Teremov was freely and credibly communicating that all FRC nationals in Gurning are free to leave. The Government of Free Range Chickens will be monitoring the situation to the best of its ability to identify and resolve apparent hostage-taking by Gurning's desperate leaders.

His Imperial Majesty has tentatively agreed to a limited arms control agreement the was brokered by the Dominion of Toneor. The agreement shall require that Gurning destroy all its chemical and biological weapons systems. In exchange, FRC shall reduce its nuclear arsenal to levels equivalent to Gurning's nuclear stockpile.

Because this entire agreement has been negotiated via Teneor's diplomatic staff, His Imperial Majesty cannot yet formally submit the proposal to the Royal Imperial Parliament for ratification. Gurning must first publicly announce its acceptance of the agreement. Furthermore, His Imperial Majesty also wishes to obtain guarantees that the implementation of the agreement will occur under international supervision.

We look forward to the implementation of an arms control agreement and hope for the day when we may take disarmament and peace a step further.

Alexandre Monaco
Minister of Foreign Affairs

Gurning is committed to the weapons reductions we proposed to Toneor.

Gurning would begin disarmament, after FRC has ratified the agreement, and after FRC has begun to implement the plan.

Gurning is willing to let the exiles fly via a Toneor national air carrier home.

However those currently under investigation and trial will remain in Gurning.

His Imperial Majesty has submitted the agreement to the Royal Imperial Parliament for ratification, and it was conditionally ratified with the following conditions imposed:

1. Manufacture of nuclear, biological, or chemical weapons by either party during implementation shall void the agreement altogether.

2. An inventory of Gurning's weapons systems must first be taken in a manner similar to The Melissa's thorough inspection of the Free Range Chickens arsenal.

3. Before implementation of the disarmament is to begin, monitoring nation(s) must be selected to observe, investigate, and confirm adequate implementation of the agreement.

4. Implementation of disarmament shall begin with dismantling of 1,000 nuclear warheads by Free Range Chickens. This shall take place under international supervision and Gurning shall be monitored during this period to confirm that it is not manufacturing additional weapons. Immediately after this, Gurning is take proceed with rapid disarmament of all biological and chemical weapons systems as FRC rapidly dismantles a significant number of nuclear warheads until both stockpiles are equivalent.

5. Both parties shall be enjoined from expanding or enhancing their nuclear weapons capacity while the agreement is in force. Both shall be enjoined from possessing biological or chemical weapons.

6. Withdrawal from this agreement shall require advance notice to the other party by telegram and to the international community.

If Gurning agrees to these conditions for implementation, then we can proceed swiftly. Nations to serve as monitors must be chosen. His Imperial Majesty has indicated that because the competence and trustworthiness of the Melissan Government in this matter has clearly been demonstrated, he would accept monitoring of both nations by experts from The Melissa.

Alexandre Monaco
Minister of Foreign Affairs

Gurning accepts the bulk of the arms reduction agreement.

However Gurning would like to improve its nuclear arsenal as time goes along.

Nuclear testing and research would allow Gurning to reduce the numbers of nuclear devices within Gurning while still maintaining a credible deterrent.

With that provision only, Gurning will work to making this agreement work.

Gurning will begin nuclear testing in the near future.

Her Majesty has appointed a volunteer inspection team for each of the two nations. They are ready to leave if and when Free Range Chickens accepts the revised agreement.

Rufti Bubblechunks
Foreign Minister for The Melissa

Gurning, would you be willing to hold off on the nuclear tests until after the disarmament is complete? That might help keep the process running smoothly.

His Imperial Majesty wishes to extend his most sincere gratitude for Her Majesty the Queen of The Melissa. Her Majesty's concern and generosity will not be forgotten.

His Imperial Majesty agrees with Teneor that Gurning should allow a complete inventory of its weapons systems immediately. His Imperial Majesty is interpreting the clause, "Both parties shall be enjoined from expanding or enhancing their nuclear weapons capacity while the agreement is in force," to allow testing of an existing arsenal to maintain and improve deterrent capacity within the current quantity of arms possessed. Similar technologies may be used to improve upon existing weapons. Free Range Chickens reserves the same right that Gurning has reserved.

Therefore, based upon this interpretation, Free Range Chickens has accepted the agreement as stated.

Alexandre Monaco
Minister of Foreign Affairs

Earlier today, ten of the twenty FRC exiles were found guilty of espionage and other numerous crimes against Gurning. They were promptly sentenced to death by lethal injection, which was promptly carried out at 0600 today. The remaining ten are to be immediately deported to FRC and forbidden to ever enter Gurning again.

Testing of nuclear devices has commenced at Gurning’s military range, Sandy Flats.