16-03-2004, 02:39
PRESS RELEASE
The Respectable Supreme Court of The Flying Lizard of Doom rejected a challenge to the Civil Liberty Assurance Act, affirming the conviction of Alec the Increasingly Vague.
In a 8 to 1 decision, the Court sided with the government's claim that compulsary elections are valid and legal methods of ensuring fair and accurate results. Writing for the majority, The Respectable Felix the Noteworthy stated that "the defendant's apathy in this matter is to be taken seriously and by refusing to excercise his constitutional right to vote has infringed upon the people's collective right to a free and accurate election." He went on to state that, "for a free and relaxed country to function properly, all citizens must excercise their rights and privileges." In dessent, The Respectable Paul the Previously Paranoid wrote that "compulsary elections are a contradiction in terms and should be done away with."
In other news, a drive-by shooting claimed the lives of three men and injured five others as they exited the Capitol building. The names of the victims have not been officially released pending a top-level security review by the Lizard's Secret Service. Sources familiar with this morning's shooting identified the victims as the Respectable Paul the Previously Paranoid, a justice of the Supreme Court and two of his aides, George of the Gymnasium and Tom the Cat. Memorial Services will be announced at a later time.
In Sports, the Terripans of Terror completed their perfect season by defeating the Slithering Serpents 10-6.
The Respectable Supreme Court of The Flying Lizard of Doom rejected a challenge to the Civil Liberty Assurance Act, affirming the conviction of Alec the Increasingly Vague.
In a 8 to 1 decision, the Court sided with the government's claim that compulsary elections are valid and legal methods of ensuring fair and accurate results. Writing for the majority, The Respectable Felix the Noteworthy stated that "the defendant's apathy in this matter is to be taken seriously and by refusing to excercise his constitutional right to vote has infringed upon the people's collective right to a free and accurate election." He went on to state that, "for a free and relaxed country to function properly, all citizens must excercise their rights and privileges." In dessent, The Respectable Paul the Previously Paranoid wrote that "compulsary elections are a contradiction in terms and should be done away with."
In other news, a drive-by shooting claimed the lives of three men and injured five others as they exited the Capitol building. The names of the victims have not been officially released pending a top-level security review by the Lizard's Secret Service. Sources familiar with this morning's shooting identified the victims as the Respectable Paul the Previously Paranoid, a justice of the Supreme Court and two of his aides, George of the Gymnasium and Tom the Cat. Memorial Services will be announced at a later time.
In Sports, the Terripans of Terror completed their perfect season by defeating the Slithering Serpents 10-6.