NationStates Jolt Archive

Dictator is sentenced to hanging?!?!

15-03-2004, 22:13
Today's WNN Reports:

"Hello everyone, I am Harry Tipp. WNN.

A hurricane is brewing in the southern sea, 67 miles off the coast. Evacuation is not necessary.

Witzgall Dish Network's satellite shot down by SAM missile. It was thought to be a laser beam.

Witzgallian dictator Matthew III sentenced to hanging.

63 year old lady chokes on apple pie while...Wait. What the hell?

Our leader was sentenced to a hanging? What idiots did that?!"

Commericial breaks in for Dog food.

Yes, it's true. Matthew III, psychotic dictator of Witzgall, has been sentenced to a hanging. Apparently, a secret transmission was intercepted by accident. Originating from the dictator, thirteen military helicopters were ordered to spray down the colony of New Witzgall with a deadly chemical agent.

All 13 of Matthew III's generals deny knowledge, and were the ones who sentenced him to death. The public chose hanging.

Back to WNN

"Who the hell would want to kill our lovely and generous leader? What's that? He's in jail and isn't watching? Oh...what a bastard."

EDIT: typos.