Chymeria
15-03-2004, 08:38
The Holy Empire of Chymeria is currently refitting its armed forces with new, more effective equipment. Although we have an adequate supply of weaponry from one of our trade partners, we find ourselves sorely lacking in state-of-the-art protection for our forces. (While some nations may think that this sort of item is unnecessary, we believe that it would be quite useful.) We are willing to pay a fair amount, depending on the quality of the items in question and the delivery time necessary for sufficient units to issue to our forces.
[Authorized by Defense Minister Hoyle, from the capital city of Chym, Holy Empire of Chymeria]
The Flying Lizard of Doom has authorized me to offer a trade. Currently, the Senate Weapons Related Programs Subcommittee on Second-Hand Military Equipment is in conference to determine the status of our contract with Genocidal Living, Inc for the production of military-grade armor. The Minister of Superficial Obviousness has assured me that this new invention called bronze will revolutionize the war-making industry.
We offer state-of-the-art bronze breastplates and helmets for the bargain price of 2,500 Tea Leaves per set. We look forward to doing business with you.
Erik the Terminally Sane
The Compassionate and Very Electable Representative of The Flying Lizard of Doom
Chymeria
15-03-2004, 09:33
As I am not a military man myself, I am not sure of the defensive properties of your proposed bronze armor. I thusly relayed the information given to Lord General Turgidson, commander of our armed forces. ...I fear I cannot relate his reply verbatim here, for diplomatic reasons, but he feels that our armed forces would (at the very least) receive some very odd stares at the next military parade before our divine ruler with his men wielding their M16s and wearing shiny bronze armor. Or even dull bronze armor. The stopping power of a bronze breastplate versus a bullet is also an issue, as opposed to our current outdated steel-plate garment inserts. So while we appreciate your proposal, I am afraid that I must politely decline at this time, as Lord General Turgidson has threatened to go over my head, if not through it, if I were to accept.
-Defense Minister Hoyle, Chym, capital city of the Holy Empire of Chymeria.