Whyzardia
10-03-2004, 10:03
The Incorporated States of Whyzardia, a world leader in the production of top-quality 100% certified Mad-Cow Disease free beef, is pleased to announce that we are in search of markets for our second leading export, organic fertilizer. Our vast disease-free herds also produce huge amounts of this rather pungent compound, far more than we need to keep our own pastures green and vibrant.
Until recently we have kept the excess production stored on open barges surrounding our island nation as a deterrent to invasion by those unused to living in close proximity to millions of cattle but our latest focus group studies indicate that the powerful aroma will be extremely detrimental to our newly legalized gambling casinos. Therefore we are seeking to enter trade negotiations with nations who want a cheap alternative to expensive chemical fertilizers.
We can easily supply several hundred thousand metric tons of rich organic matter per year, preferably to relatively industrialized countries that can provide us with low-cost trinkets to sell to the hordes of gambling tourists we expect to begin flooding our land as soon as all of those barges are removed.
Whyzard
CEO, Incorporated States of Whyzardia
Until recently we have kept the excess production stored on open barges surrounding our island nation as a deterrent to invasion by those unused to living in close proximity to millions of cattle but our latest focus group studies indicate that the powerful aroma will be extremely detrimental to our newly legalized gambling casinos. Therefore we are seeking to enter trade negotiations with nations who want a cheap alternative to expensive chemical fertilizers.
We can easily supply several hundred thousand metric tons of rich organic matter per year, preferably to relatively industrialized countries that can provide us with low-cost trinkets to sell to the hordes of gambling tourists we expect to begin flooding our land as soon as all of those barges are removed.
Whyzard
CEO, Incorporated States of Whyzardia