NationStates Jolt Archive

Newsflash

The Tystonian leader - You know, the man you remember from the successes in the Shinbetonian war - Has now officially announced that war has been declared on the nation of Sealandi.
As a reason for war, the Tystonian leader quoted "Relay was first to thousand entries" or, as the say in Tystonian, "Relay var först till 1000 inlägg".

Every man who is between 16-64 will now be drafted nito military service and intense preparations can be spoted in the Tystonian naval bases.

End of Newsflash

(This game is only open to those who are members in the region of Forumhuset)

Newsflash

After the News that Tystonia had declared War on Sealand, the people and its leaders showed determination in defending the nation.

The morale of the country raised after the leader in a speech in TV said " We will fight on the sea on land and i the air. WE WILL NEVER NEVER SURRENDER.

A journalist from CNNN was suprised to find a population on its feet ready to defend its country whatever the cost.
People working day and night to prepare the defence everywhere in the country.
End of Newsflash

(This game is only open to those who are members in the region of Forumhuset)

Nuxsylvania declares war at Sealandia, while its provocative motto "Relay var först till tusen inlägg" is a direct insult to the very spirit of Nuxsylvania's hardworking, cynical population. A nation is not built upon entries but hard work. The irresponsible "nation" of Sealandia is now to be partiated between Nuxsylvania and Tystism. Victory or death.

the motto "relay var först till 1000 inlägg" is my motto and not relays.

Danneland cannot understand why anyone would be insulted by
"relay var först will 1000 inlägg"
It would be more concerned by "din ledares morsa var en hora, det är du också och jag har knullat på din syster" or "din pappa är bög, ni knullar varrandra"

But on the other hand, war has been declared over pizza.

Dansk og svensk er ekle homospråk. Norsk er det eneste sanne språket.

Danneland cannot understand why anyone would be insulted by
"relay var först will 1000 inlägg"

Hehe, it's a secret of state. :mrgreen:

Dansk og svensk er ekle homospråk. Norsk er det eneste sanne språket.
Vi invaderar dig nästa gång.

Kustförsvaret är nu mobiliserat liksom inlandsförsvaret. Civila har fått vapen tilldelat för att försvara städerna. Nyckelpersoner inom det civila och militära sitter i säkerhetsbunkern långt under marken. Ännu har inga strider eller sammanstötningar rapporterats. bara några fiskebåtar som synts i horisonten.

What are you talking about you whatever I whish there was a translater cause I can not read a thing.

Kustförsvaret är nu mobiliserat liksom inlandsförsvaret. Civila har fått vapen tilldelat för att försvara städerna. Nyckelpersoner inom det civila och militära sitter i säkerhetsbunkern långt under marken. Ännu har inga strider eller sammanstötningar rapporterats. bara några fiskebåtar som synts i horisonten.
Vänta tills jag sätter in kärnvapen. :mrgreen:

Lt. Col. Williams, Minister of Foreign Affairs, People's Republic of Kay Son

I Do Believe That They Are Speaking Finnish

I Do Believe That They Are Speaking Finnish

OOC: Oh, now you're dead meat. :lol:

And in Finnish: Oi, nyt olet kuollutta lihaa. :lol:

And relating to the topic, well, I just wish I'd concentrated more during Swedish class. Svenska är bra, men det är liten tråkig!

Danneland cannot understand why anyone would be insulted by
"relay var först will 1000 inlägg"
It would be more concerned by "din ledares morsa var en hora, det är du också och jag har knullat på din syster" or "din pappa är bög, ni knullar varrandra"

But on the other hand, war has been declared over pizza.


I don;y think its a good idea to be like the two bit middle agers who fought over everything even a stupid weed i once read! If this war is over pizza then I shall not be involved in a duccy war.

Newsflash:

The crisis between Sealandi and Tystism caused by the provocative motto "Relay var först till 1000 inlägg" has lead to war.

Navy: A naval clash in the sea of Krågbugten lead to an allied Tystonian-Nuxsulvanian victory over the phoney navy of Sealandi. Tystonian SS "Stealth Svempa" and Nuxsylvanian submarine "Jagtvingartjejerslickaminrövren" (a long word which is the way to say "Greetings!" in the Nuxsylvanian language) destroyed the whole Sealandian fleet. "Now the only threat we have in sea are some small Sealandian fishing boats" Tystonian admiral Fullsomphan sneered.

Air: Recent bombings lead to a great destruction of the Sealandian liver pastry industry. Losses have been estimated to over 60 billion Sealandian zlotys (compare with our superior Tystonian currency: 1 million scanians = 1billion Sealandian wortless nickles. Their leader´s careless economical policy has lead to an enormous inflation).
Reports speak of a bombing in the Sealandian worker class areas, and a´n old routinated journalist compared the fire bombings with "worse than Hamburg summer of 1943".

Land: Tystonian Special Forces has caused riots and protests among the Sealandian students, because the TSF have made the market flooding with kidneys (which they have kidnapped from the remains of the people the Tystonian cannibals don´t eat), which the Sealandian students need to sell to make a living.

We are galooriouss, trallala!

The fight goes on on the beaches in the mountains and in the cities. Suicide bombers cause major mess among Tystonian rangers on the beaches alot of them are killed. Fishingboats try tor ram into Tystonians fleet of ships.

Sealandi send a peace delegation to Tystonians HD.

And relating to the topic, well, I just wish I'd concentrated more during Swedish class. Svenska är bra, men det är liten tråkig!

Kiitos for saying "Svenska är bra" :)

Well, there are some spelling errors as well. "Svenska är bra, men det är ett tråkigt språk!" is what I think you are trying to say. Anyways, back to the war buissness again:


The Tystonian Ministry of Inner Affairs has reported that they just executed some stupid Sealandian "peace" delegation. As we say in Tystonian: "Far åt helvete med er ert jävla rövarpack och skogsfinnar!" which is the way to say that you slightly don´t approciate somebody in the Tystonian language.

The Tystonian Air Force has begun to bomb "softer targets" because "It´s more fun to hear civilians die in agony, fear and deathangst" as a source claims. Tystonian Military HQ can only confirm this report, claiming that soon Sealandian hospitals will be on fire and that school children might get shot on their way home. "Too bad for ´em, but we just don´t like Sealandians and that´s all. We thought it would be boring just attacking soldiers and radar stations and we wanted some change in our working situation, I mean just think about it yourself! Would you like to just shoot the same old soldiers in the same old uniforms as usual?!"

Meanwhile the allied Tystonian-Nuxsylvanian navy has begun with massive attacks with torpedos from the sea on the Sealandian capital. A ship yard, a furniture restoration factory and a Zoo full of llamas have yet been confirmed to be destroyed, but other losses are expected to come as the attacks from the sea continues.

The chairpersons of the committés on war and foreign affairs of
the peoples´ deputies, mr Tung Pung and ms Sug Pung
today in a joint press conference announced that a number
of economic and political sanctions against the agressor
nations of Tystism, Nuxylvania and Scandinavia are now in
effect. All trade with said nations is forbidden, and any company
that wishes to do business with Baltha must cut off all ties
to the agressor nations. All agressor-nation-owned asssets
in baltha have been seized by the governement, and all
nationals of the agressor nations have been detained in
specially prepared "guest" areas, under the supervision
of balthas small but elite Special Revolutionary Guards.

After a hasty evacuation of balthas missions to the agressor
nations , a number of diplomats of the agressor nations
have been captured and taken to undisclosed "special
guest areas" for purposes of "frank discussion". The
embassies of the agressor nations have been surrounded
by elements of balthas small standing army, and heavy
JSIII tanks have been positioned in front of their gates.

The 'corporative peoples army' is being mobilized, which
seems to be a fancy way of saying that kalsjnikovs and RPG's
are being issued to middleaged women, teenagers and overweight men
at their places of employment or education.

The War goes on
Civilians made a stunning fight back and ambush 200 Tystonian Rangers i central Seatown. They are sent to military prison in the mountains.
The city in Flames but people refuse to surrender. Another desperate counterattack imobilized warships and killed alot of Tystonian soldiers on the coast. alot of people are killed and Sealand leave dead Tystonians in body bags on the shores, to be found.

Another delegation complain over the cowardly attack on Sealand in the UN and force the worlds media to focus its attention on this brutal war.
The goodwill for Tystonia is rapidly decreasing for every brutal slaughter their troops commit in Sealandi.

In an extraordinary press conference today the chairman
of the peeples deputies committé of foreign relations,
mr Tung Pung, looking tired, haggard and not a little hung
over, announced that the Most Serene Republic of Baltha
"calls upon" all "peace loving" nations to join Baltha in its
response to the agression of "the Tystonian-led axis of
evil".

"It's not like we expect anything like that to actually
happen," the chairman added, pausing for a moment
to take swig from a bottle of Jack Daniels, "but we feel that
it is our duty to at least try to do something towards
the (burp) noble cause of peace in our time for our war-
torn region"

200 Tystonian soldiers laid down their weapons and got free way to return home. While they returned home they had to passing thousands och cheering Sealnd civilians.

12 Tystonian Tanks where destroyed in Brownstone. 2 survived crews where sent back unharmed but stripped from theri weapons and uniforms

""Wollt ihr den Totaler Krieg???"

A rally for war has just taken place in Tystism. Sure, we don´t want to go to war either. But when a nation like Sealandia says "Jag, Relay, var först med 1000 inlägg" then it´s time to do something about it.
Join the Tystonian-Nuxsylvanian effort to make peace once and for all and stabilise our world to make sure we can live in an eternal peace whitout Sealandi"

Warnews:

The enemy is getting more and more desperate. We see clear signs of this everyday. The Sealandian state television are broadcasting pictures, taken in a secret studio, to convince that the war is going bad for us and that the international community stands behind Sealandi.

They couldn´t be more wrong. We know that´s just hoaxes and lies. We don´t listen to enemy propaganda.

Instead, our "Allaince of Glory" between those who are behind us are victorious over the enemy "Axis of Relay". We recently destroyed some power plants, and now electricity is a scarce thing in Sealandi. Civilians tired of war and casulaties now just want to be a part of Tystonia or Nuxsylvania.

The Tystonian Airforce has begun to spread out napalm in Sealandi. Thousands of people living in hundreds of Sealandian villages are simply burning up to coal, agonized and victimised. Tystonian soldiers are using Sealandian people´s heads as footballs in the military football games.



**End of messages, but don´t forget that this messeage was given to you from The United Tystonian Pizza Deleveries Union. Have a great meal!**

Newsflash:

From a chat between Tystism leader and Sealandi leader:

Tystism says:
förresten, vi kna sluta fred nu om du vill det Relay
Sealandi says:
okej
Tystism says:
jag skall anfalla Stalin och balthamers istället
Sealandi says:
okej

Instead, war has now been declared upon the rough red states of X-Svedala and Baltha!

Tystonian Airforces begun with bombing the X-Svedalian capital (a factory manifacturing "lyckopiller" has been reported to be destroyed). 166 civilians and 666 soldiers on speed and hashish have been killed according to sources. Tystonian soldiers are happy "Just killing some old drugdes" a Tystonian high ranked colonel said.

In Baltha the Nuxsylvanian naval fleet attacked every fishing boat and killed everyone "For being in existence". Reports also talk about Nuxsylvanian KUK-Stealth attacking the Baltha capital. Two schools and six military installations are "burning like crisps". Damages and losses haven´t yet been estimated.

Graduates of the Balthan institute of Advanced Terrorism
currently posted in "sleeper cells" in the nations of Tystonia and
Nuxylvania today sprung into action. Radio-controlled walking
robots, ordinary suicide-bombers and WMD's(*) were unleashed
at number of targets, ranging from kindergartens and hospitals
to political and financial leaders. The campaign appears to
have been successfuöl i creating a great deal of bloodshed
and fear in the target nations.

(*) WMD= Weaponized Mobile Donkeys

Newspapers in the NR scrambled to report the news. The Great Leader of the NR was decided to aid Baltha, by sending 150 thousand troops to the recently invaded nation. Claiming that the attacks are unjustified, the NR has left the agressors with one warning, as NR Navy ships race to the shores of Baltha. " All agressors must agree to withdraw from Baltha, or face defeat at the hands of the NR's superior military strength." General William Ashtrot, the Supreme Commander of the NR's forces claimed that victory in the Baltha Campaign was a no-brainer.

refusing to give the aggressor nations a chance to reply to NR's Ultimatum, because if they surrender, it would'nt be any fun, so instead, NR took the preemptive, and overran the country with relative ease. The capital was captured, and the proper authorities were restored to power. The next step, was to liberate the other lands of Baltha. Fearing that they would send aid to their ground troops, the NR sent naval ships to blockade Tystism and Nuxylvania, will bombers devasted major cities and military bases. When questioned about supporting a terrorist nation, The Great Leader of the NR claimed that the word terrorist was too hrsh a word, and that there were no Balthan terrorists in either Tystism or Nuxylvannia, only fighters who preferred terror to conventional warfare. The people were unconvinced (most likely because the statement didn't make sense), until they were reminded that questioning the Supreme Dictator was illegal, and that they would be executed if they didn't shut the hell up.

refusing to give the aggressor nations a chance to reply to NR's Ultimatum, because if they surrender, it would'nt be any fun, so instead, NR took the preemptive, and overran the country with relative ease. The capital was captured, and the proper authorities were restored to power. The next step, was to liberate the other lands of Baltha. Fearing that they would send aid to their ground troops, the NR sent Naval ships to blockade Tystism and Nuxylvannia, while bombers devestated their major cities and military bases.

refusing to give the aggressor nations a chance to reply to NR's Ultimatum, because if they surrender, it would'nt be any fun, so instead, NR took the preemptive, and overran the country with relative ease. The capital was captured, and the proper authorities were restored to power. The next step, was to liberate the other lands of Baltha. Fearing that they would send aid to their ground troops, the NR sent Naval ships to blockade Tystism and Nuxylvannia, while bombers devestated their major cities and military bases.

refusing to give the aggressor nations a chance to reply to NR's Ultimatum, because if they surrender, it would'nt be any fun, so instead, NR took the preemptive, and overran the country with relative ease. The capital was captured, and the proper authorities were restored to power. The next step, was to liberate the other lands of Baltha. Fearing that they would send aid to their ground troops, the NR sent Naval ships to blockade Tystism and Nuxylvannia, while bombers devestated their major cities and military bases.

refusing to give the aggressor nations a chance to reply to NR's Ultimatum, because if they surrender, it would'nt be any fun, so instead, NR took the preemptive, and overran the country with relative ease. The capital was captured, and the proper authorities were restored to power. The next step, was to liberate the other lands of Baltha. Fearing that they would send aid to their ground troops, the NR sent Naval ships to blockade Tystism and Nuxylvannia, while bombers devestated their major cities and military bases.

sorry about repeating the reply.

sorry about repeating the reply.

Så dere truer meg med krig bare fordi jeg sier at svensk er et ekkelt homospråk. Mitt land har god erfaring i krig så dere kan bare gi opp med en gang. Dere ønsker IKKE å utfordre mine hærer.

They do not speak finnish. Finnish is a good language.

Så dere truer meg med krig bare fordi jeg sier at svensk er et ekkelt homospråk. Mitt land har god erfaring i krig så dere kan bare gi opp med en gang. Dere ønsker IKKE å utfordre mine hærer. Tja, Sverige vann 1814 i alla fall. Bara vår godhet att ni fick lämna unionen fredligt. Sedan skulle jag kalla ditt omnämnade av det svenska språket för en provokation.

They do not speak finnish. Finnish is a good language.
:tantrum:

Vi sa: Ikke svarte om dere skal styre her.
Og dere ga dere med en gang.
Dere vant ikke. Vi vant.

Norge er faktisk verdens beste land å leve i. Det er bestemt av FN. Hva har dere å si til det.

Beklager at jeg kalte svensk et homospråk. Det var ment som en spøk. Men jeg mener norsk fortsatt er et bedre språk.

Vi sa: Ikke svarte om dere skal styre her.
Og dere ga dere med en gang.
Dere vant ikke. Vi vant.

Norge er faktisk verdens beste land å leve i. Det er bestemt av FN. Hva har dere å si til det.
Jag hade nog hellre bott i Norge än i Sverige. Nu skall jag berätta en hemlighet: jag är norsk till 1/4 och har släkt i Norge. 8)

Breaking News!

Reports coming out of Tystism at this time indicate that a
series of large explosions have occured at nuclear plants
in that country. At least one reactor has been completely
destroyed, and others have been at least substantially
damaged. Much of Tystism is without electricity, and
provinces downwind of the reactor complexes are being
evacuated. The radioactive cloud appears to be drifting towards
Sealandi.