NationStates Jolt Archive

The newly risen Sultanate of the Alabaster Throne formally declares to all those in the world at present that they are subject to its will and power. The Sultan, Alihara Rashidad, declares that it is truly the will of the God Babael that the Sultanate shall rule the world. All barbarians must submit before its divine power and prowess, rejecting their sovereignty and right to rule.
-His most Divine Minister of Conquest, Alihara Gudolen

hahaha, ah to hell with it, smily will speak for me :lol:

The Dominion of Kotterdam greets the Sultinate's declaration with more than a modicum of skepticism. Furthermore, we caution the Sultinate in the strongest possible terms against further such declarations, lest the Dominion or some other global power decide that your imperialistic ambitions pose a threat, however minor, to their interests abroad. At this time, we will be directing the KNS Dominion and her battlegroup to international waters just off the coast of the Sultinate to further underscore our cautionary message.

John Hawthorne
Press Secretary
Dominion of Kotterdam

we barbarians bow down before our supremist leaders :roll:

Thank full im not on earth lol :lol: come near terran prime and ill blast your nation to atoms

we barbarians bow down before our supremist leaders :roll:

Lol, :D
[yet more sarcasm] oh sure we will bow down to you all mighty leader of the world [/ yet more sarcasm] :P :roll:

We of the Principality of Skeelzania are also thankful we have relocated to the outer reaches of human space, putting us far out of the reach of overzealous religious megalomaniacs like those who are running the Sultanate of The Abalaster Throne. However, our foreign relations staff are busy, and if any other ridicioulus pronouncements clog our mailbox we will not hesitate to order a full scale orbital bombardment of the Sultanate.

CHEESE

:? :?: ...?

A holy man from the Church of Itakeitall walks up to the podium. He begins reading a statement.

"And verily, I say unto you, shutteth thine mouth or we will stuffeth it with unpleasant things. And into it shall go mine old shoes, mine broccoli, and mine dog poop. And the Drol was muchly pleased, and there was much rejoicing."

He then turns to the camera and blows a massive rasberry. This broadcast to be sent to AT sometime tonite.

The sultan fears not the fleet of Kotterdam and laughs in the face of your king. He finds no fear in a fleet of boats. This is primarily because The Alabaster Throne is locked on all sides by land. I laugh and spit in your eye
-His most Divine Minister of Peace, Alihara Jujarian

The low background hum of conversation in the House of Commons press room died instantly as the door opened, the assembled men and women rising for the most powerful man in all the Dominion. He moved quickly and easily to the podium at the front of the room, with the Dominion Crest of the Star, Shield, Sword, and Leaf at his back.

"Good Morning." he began simply to a chorus of greetings. "Please, take your seats. I am certain we have all been watching the events unfolding in the Sultinate of the Alabaster Throne. For those of you who are unaware, Alihara Rashidad has taken it upon himself to address me directly." he explained, making a point of not using the Sultan's title, lest he grant him legitimacy. "To be precise, I believe he... Laughed in my face and spat in my eye."

"Rashidad wishes to be direct. He wishes to address me personally. Very well. I shall be equally direct. The Dominion has more men in uniform than the Sultinate boasts in its entire population. As well, we employ combat aircraft on a par with the finest in the world. Some time ago, we took it upon ourselves to render our army more easily mobile by air lift." Looking up from the assembled reporters, the Prime Minister looked directly out into the camera. "Mister Rashidad, listen closely because the next words I say are addressed to you personally."

Haley took a moment to think back over his prepared words before continuing. "It does not matter where on this globe you are, or how far from water you may be. Our Armed Forces can reach your nation, and reach it easily." Haley smiled his most vicious smile. "We've done it before, and if you push us, if your ambitions threaten the security of Dominion Citizens abroad, you will find your nation imploding around you. Choose your words carefully, and make them clear, or else you may open a door that you cannot close. That is all I have to say on this subject."

Rt. Hon. Scott Haley
Prime Minister
Dominion of Kotterdam

His most Divine Majesty, owner of many goats, and ruler of the Sultanate of the Alabaster Throne Alihara Rashidad (may his chin hairs ever grow long) has decided to revise hgis statement.
He knows that the most Divine Dominion of Kotterdam, and its lordly ruler (may his chin hairs ever grow long), understands that mistakes can be made by those underlings who ride to high on their camels.
Thusly he has orderes the Most Divine Minister of Beheading, Alihara Septunik, to personally maim and kill the most defiled minister of peace Alihara Jujarian, and to send by an entourage of a thousand virgins to the divine land of Kotterdam the most defiled head of Alihara Jujarian (may his family never eat meat) as an offer of reconciliation.
-The Newly Most Divine Minister of Peace, Alihara Fenfir

The belligerence of the Alabastar Throne does not bode well with future relations between our two nations.


Consul Supreme
Confederate Republic and Principalities of Eredron

Thusly he has orderes the Most Divine Minister of Beheading, Alihara Septunik, to personally maim and kill the most defiled minister of peace Alihara Jujarian, and to send by an entourage of a thousand virgins to the divine land of Kotterdam the most defiled head of Alihara Jujarian (may his family never eat meat) as an offer of reconciliation.
-The Newly Most Divine Minister of Peace, Alihara Fenfir*eyes Scott... eyes the new nation... giggles*

where's -my- virgins! I want virgins! *shifty eyes* I wouldn't mind having the head either. *smirk* hehe

http://www.cybersluagh.com/ErisKallisti/eristag.jpg
~Empress Eris~
Goddess of Chaos
The Empire of Eris Kallisti (http://www.cybersluagh.com/ErisKallisti)

The Dominion is most pleased to see that cooler heads have prevailed in the Sultinate of The Alabaster Throne. Furthermore, we are pleased at the wisdom His Divine Magesty Sultan Alihara Rashidad has shown in resolving this situation without resorting to the force of arms. Any man may make mistakes. It takes a great man to admit when he's been wrong and then rectify his mistakes.

Now that you have replaced your advisor with a more stable individual, allow all past affronts between us to be wiped away. The Dominion hereby extends the hand of friendship to the Sultinate of The Alabaster Throne. It is my hope that together we may coexist peacefully with one another for many years to come. I thank you for the magnificent gesture of the head and the entourage. The head of the fallen minister shall be passed on to my staunch ally, the Empress Eris Kallisti, along with the entourage of virgins, as her nation shall be better able to make use of both.

The KNS Dominion has been redirected to her usual patrol station, as a gesture of good faith between our two nations. Furthermore, should you need any assistance, do not hesitate to ask your new friends in the Dominion. From humanitarian aid, to help constructing your nation's infrastructure, to a loan, we will be there for your people.

Prosperity and long life,
Rt. Hon. Scott Haley
Prime Minister
Dominion of Kotterdam

http://www.cybersluagh.com/ErisKallisti/scott1.jpg

*cheers* wow... more virgins... not that they'll stay that way for long *winks* now... what to do with the head *ponders and passes it to the head of Bio-Engineering for examination* he'll be in safe hands

http://www.cybersluagh.com/ErisKallisti/eristag.jpg
~Empress Eris~
Goddess of Chaos
The Empire of Eris Kallisti (http://www.cybersluagh.com/ErisKallisti)

"HAHAHAHA..wow Dave this is two in one day..I must say u are quite the jokester."

"The last one was true..we are deploying 200,000 troops.."

"Oh ya..but this was good."

"Its true too!"

"Damn..people are so dumb."

"Yep."

"So are we going to expand our Empire?"

"Nope, problem already been solved peacefully."

"Oh..damn...get to work on that joke..."

"Yes sir!"