NationStates Jolt Archive

Tiborita Claims the Island of Lost Souls

by Jim Wallace


(TAP) - Some time last night, in a secret session, the Senate voted in favor in annexing the Island of Lost Souls. Just after 9:00am local time, MAF amphibious assault vehicles landed on the eastern beach. They quickly secured the island and established headquarters at the abandoned resort. Upon hearing the completion of the operation, the Senate voted for 5 billion tiborinoes in spending on the island, the first of what may be many more.

The uninhabited island, most noteable for its peculiar animals, will become a place for Tiboritians to settle. The government has begun to hand out contracts to companies to develop the islands infrastructure. The first settlers are planned to arrive within 6 months.

KBBL talk radio. And now Tiborita's favorite conservative and author of the well-selling book, "Only Turkeys Have Left Wings." Ladies and gentlemen, Birch Barlow.

Good morning, fellow freedom-likers. Birch Barlow, the fourth branch of government, the fifty-first region...

You know, there are three things we're never going to get rid of here in Tiborita: one, the bats in the national library, two, Mrs. McFierly's compost heap, and three, our president, the illiterate, tax-cheating, wife-swapping, pot-smoking, spendocrat Tibor.

Now, why are we doomed to this Tibor Quagmire, you ask, oh reasonable listener? Because this nation is under the stranglehold of a few tie-dyed tree-huggers who would rather play hackeysack than lock up the homeless.

And what has our (b)leader done now? He's gone and wasted your money on this whole island debacle. I mean what a money pit. Instead of giving you your hard earned tiborinoes back, his plan is to use them to spend on someone else, to live somewhere else. I have news for you, Mr. Pheasident, the people of this nation are outraged at you, your policies, and your bleeding-heart smellfare programs.