NationStates Jolt Archive

Several (at least 9) students and retired people today hurled insults at the Bazrael embassy today in Gregloristan. People were shocked by the language they used, with words like "poopy-pants" and "dummy dum dum" passing the lips of the clearly upset protestors. It's not clear whether the protesting was in response to any particular event, or simply due to the animosity felt between Greglori and Bazraeli citizens. The Gregloristan government has denied involvement, however insiders close to the government (insisting on anonymity) have suggested that the 9 protesters have received tax breaks in return for their time in protesting.

Bazraeli officials have not returned phone calls requesting comment on the event.

The Bazraeli government commented today on the group of Gregloristinian protestors that had gathered outside of the Bazraeli embassy in Gregloristan.

"This was obviously an issue of misunderstanding," said Bazin, an ambassador to the Bazraeli state. "The Gregloristinians can not possibly comprehend with their small minds that the Holy Empire of Bazrael is in Gregloristan to help them out of their dark ages, and show them the might of the three true Gods." Bazin furthermore added after he produced a voodoo-like doll, "They will learn. Oh they will learn."

Although security in the embassy was too slow to respond to the protest, as they were all watching Star Trek, officials have offered up rewards to find the deviants responsible. If anyone knows of anyone who commonly uses the phrases "poopy-pants" or "dummy dum dum", they are encouraged to phone the embassy or the local police.

Tensions between Bazrael and Gregloristan escalated today, with Greega, the minister of foreign affairs, calling Baz, the Bazraeli ambassador a "heathen-monkey". "That heathen-monkey wouldn't know the truth if it slapped him in the nose". This was in response to earlier comments about the intelligence of the Greglori citizens. "We are considering a resolution that will require a study of the possibility of harsh language against these heathen-monkeys. And we want an apology". Tensions have been strong between these two puny nations in the Pacific since the founding of their current governments.

In other news, the town of Gee declared Friday "Kick-a-Bazraeli Day". The federal government refused to comment on this development, calling it a "private domestic issue of national pride".

A medium-sized group of Greglori religious people gathered outside the Bazraeli embassy, today. They appeared to be praying. When asked what they were praying about, they responded, "Shhhhh! We're praying!". Anthropologists familiar with their rites suggested that they were praying for fire to rain forth from the heavens onto the embassy. This was confirmed when a reporter lit up a cigarette and one of the faithful cried out, "It's working! Pray harder!!!".

Government officials asked to comment replied, "We of the Greglori government cannot condone violent action against the Bazraelis. Though they are fools and heathens and will get their just reward in hell some day, we continue diplomatic relations with them."

A Bazraeli trade ship was sunk today, furthering the animosity between the nations of Bazrael and Gregloristan. "We thought we were being attacked by pirates!" claims lieutenant colonel Gerger Greeglor, commander of the defense forces of the harbour of G-city. "Their new national flag threw us off!". This is bound to further degrade relations between these nations, as the ship was a trader ship, bearing loads of toilet paper and stuffed animals for sale in other nations. "How do we know that it wasn't stolen toilet paper and other items, that they stole while pirating the 7 seas." commented a Greglori senator on condition of anonymity.

This may all be in relation to the fact that the nation of Bazrael has recently changed their flag to the Jolly Roger. Diplomats have predicted that further incidents of a similar nature will occur due to this unfortunate change.

Bazraeli officials did not return phone calls seeking comment before press time.

In shocking news today, the Bazraeli government responded to an accidental attack on a tradeship bound for Andersvillaellia by a Gregloristinian warship.

"We are appalled by this act of war," exclaimed the Chieftain of Defence, Minister Baziel. "We realize that they [the naval officers] were 14 year old boys who were probably confused because they had their faces half shrouded by masks, but this act can not go unpunished. What are 14 year old boys doing out past 8 o'clock anyway?"

To counteract this act of terrorism, the Bazraeli government introduced a new holiday in Bazrael today, where all 14 year old boys in the country are ritualistically spanked, and later a feast of rabbit ferret, the Gregloristinian national animal, is enjoyed. Currently, the holiday is only known as "Eat a rabbid ferret and spank a 14 year old boy Day", although shorter names like "Ed al-Ferret" have been tossed around.

When asked why the government of Bazrael decided to change their flag, Minister Bazriel stated, "Because it's scary. We never thought anything like this would happen because of the green stripes down the sides, that clearly say 'Not-pirate'. But the real tragedy here is that Andersvillaellia will be without any toilet paper."

A population surge in Bazrael prompted accusations of child slavery, kidnapping and human trafficking today. Greglori officials claimed, "Their population is higher than ours for the first time in history. Given our exceptional immigration rates, and our extremely fertile citizens, we believe that there has been foul play. The only explanation is that Bazraeli military forces must have snuck over our concrete wall during the night, kidnapped 1 million of our citizens, and smuggled them back to Bazrael. We call on all nations to assist us in our attempts to recover the stolen children." No parents could be found to verify that their children had indeed been kidnapped.

In other news, several divisions of the Gregloristan Army were doing "training exercises" in the region of Gregloristan closest to Bazrael today, in a clear escalation of the hostilities between these two messed up nations. 14 year old boys demonstrated how to use a suicide bomb (and were subsequently vaporized), and other 14 year old boys showed their adeptness with the joystick in the 4 Greglori fighter jets (though they have yet to learn how to take-off and land said jets). Peace activists singing "Kumbaya" outside the training area were promptly gathered up and executed in a show of strength by the Greglori army.