NationStates Jolt Archive


Going out of Business

05-02-2004, 17:53
In an official Government press release, the Armed Republic of Osnoiba annouced today that the government will cease operations, stop all funding, cancel tax collections, release all civil employees and dismiss all military personnel as part of the "Cancel The Pizza" final strategy.
Citing personal reasons relating to world Forums, Osnobian representative Hugh Jass stated that the Osnbian Nation is "pretty much sick of it all" and has decided to "walk away from this ridiculous morass of political rhetoric that poses as the Nation States Forum." Jass went on to say that he would rather "turn on (his) computer every day and see nothing but monkey s**t fights then have to endure the many insipd postings found on the forum pages".
Osnbian officials confirm that the Osnobian Constitution will be disavowed and burned in a public ceremony which will also include the resignation of all Osnobian officials whereupon the former nation of Osnobia will cease to be and all Osnobia citizens will become independent peoples. Once disbanded all formerly government holdings will be free to other nations on a first-come, first served basis. This will include all military apparatus (including the fledging nuclear program), infrastcurcture (bridges, civil projects, etc.) and ancillary materials (office supplies, telephones and snack machines). Osnbian currency, the "Osnob", will have a zero value and the gold in the Osnbian Federal Reserve will given to the first outside nation that makes a formal request.
When asked what will be come of the more than 260 million Osnbian citizens, Jass stated that he was "...sure that former Osnbians will find the arms of the World open to their plight and more than enough adoptive Nations to house these decent and harworking people." Jass had no comment when asked which new nation he intended to take residence in.
In what was to be his final address as an Osnbian official, President Dick Hurts said that "It is unfortunate that Osnbia couldn't 'hack it' but grieve not for us, as we go into this with great joy and a clear conscience". In closing he stated that he wishes "good luck and great success for the other free nations of the Nation States world. We are glad to no longer be a part of it."
Thus ends the short, but nonetheless boring existence of one nation. May _______ (fill in the blank with the deity of your choice) have mercy on our former peoples and may we never again feel compelled to participate in an endeavor like nation building.