NationStates Jolt Archive

The National Comedy Union (NCU) has gotten together, and decided to auction off a random item to the international stage, just to see how much will be bidded for it.

All proceeds will be donated to charities around the globe promoting world peace.

Mouse in a Jar
http://st-www.cs.uiuc.edu/~chai/photo_album/1994/barney-in-jar.jpg

Yes thats right folks, its a mouse in a jar. We guarentee*, its a great mouse, and a fantastic jar. In fact, we guarentee* that this mouse in a jar will be able to do tricks, and earn you money!

*Not Guarenteed

Let the bidding BEGIN!

The Glorious Empire of Ghout opens the bidding with 10 cents.

Ahh, what a cute mouse.

We do not challenge the bid though, just an random comment

"A random comment, you mean..."
-Ceragon

The Glorious Empire of Ghout opens the bidding with 10 cents.

10c? 10c!

WHAT THE HELL?! TEN CENTS!!!!

Nah its cool...

We will outbid them... 11 Cents.

OOC: You might want to start with a minimum, and have a minimum increasment as well...

12 cents!

20 whole cents..!!!

We will outbid them... 11 Cents.

OOC: You might want to start with a minimum, and have a minimum increasment as well...

Nar, thats fine...

25 cents.

Enough. We will take this into the triple digit range.

100 CENTS!

ooooohhhhhh!

Haha!!! 200cents!!!

500 cents

{looking through wallet}

600 cents and my library card!!

1,000 cents.

OK, I think its time we start refeering the money in $

OK, I think its time we start refeering the money in $
OK, fine... $10.

1 lb of un-restricted uranium, worth $10.00!!!

$10.01, Take That! :lol:

$15 and 27 1/2 cents!!

the pound of uranium and 100cents

a P99-N- semi-automatic pistol worth $600.00, and free shipping

$700.

i want that mouse in a jar!!!

$1,000 worth of weapons grade uranium!!!

check the prices at my store front

http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=115543

$1,001 in gold.

$1,002 in weapons grade uranium

we rarely give out this kind of uranium to any country

ok im getting tired,

{runs up to the stand where the mouse in the jar is located and picks it up and runs out the door. after shooting the guards that are blocking him}

hey i left behind $2,000 for charity!!!

$2,050!
{Steals -Noir-'s money}
{Chases him, armed with swift-acting tranquilizer dart gun}

2 Liters liquid LSD

$2,050!
{Steals -Noir-'s money}
{Chases him, armed with swift-acting tranquilizer dart gun}

{Takes back money, and steals Ghout's $50}
{Chases him, armed with an M4A1 rifle and points it at Ghout's head and says...}

"The mouse is mine bub, now get outta here!"

OOC: You can't steal money I'm carrying without giving me a chance to respond. I'd have shot you as soon as you came into sight....
By the way, this is just a random Ghouti soldier sent to acquire the mouse at any cost. More will be arriving momentarily, and if they find him dead, they won't use tranquilizers.

{looks at the mouse and Ghout}

He points his gun at the mouse and fires

{bang...bang...bang...bang...bang...click, the magazine falls empty to the ground}

Haha!! the mouse isnt in the jar anymore!!! Run free mouse thingy!!! Run free!!!

"No! You killed it!"
{Shoots -Noir- with tranquilizer darts, takes all his money, runs off}

"No! You killed it!"
{Shoots -Noir- with tranquilizer darts, takes all his money, runs off}

no actually the mouse is running out the door...so if you still want it hurry up and catch it...i got an empty jar in my pocket if you want it...

Well, lets see what we have here...

One dead mouse, and an empty, slightly bloodstained jar...

...

Bidding is at $2,050!

Who else wants to buy this....piece of....ART! Yes, thats it....ART!

I also have a mouse in a jar, in fact I will offer an entire case of mouse in a jar! for the astonishing low price of $100.00 in Gold Sovereigns.

Well, lets see what we have here...

One dead mouse, and an empty, slightly bloodstained jar...

...

Bidding is at $2,050!

Who else wants to buy this....piece of....ART! Yes, thats it....ART!

THE MOUSE ISNT DEAD!!!! HURRY UP AND CATCH IT BEFORE IT RUNS OUT OF THE DOOR!!!!

I also have a mouse in a jar, in fact I will offer an entire case of mouse in a jar! for the astonishing low price of $100.00 in Gold Sovereigns.

BEWARE! THIS ONE IS A FAKE!!!

hmmm...i'll trade you my economics homework for the mouse if you catch it

By the by, the entire Auction house is protected by Mirandarian Security Forces and all delegates must pass thru several security screenings----including taking off pants and/or skirts due to the recent attempted thigh bomber last month. :evil:

{Takes jar}
{Chases mouse}
"Oh great... it's too fast. The Emperor will have my hide for this...."

It is not a fake but a clone, taken by Mirandarian Spec Ops forces 10yrs ago from the dead mouse's great~11 grandparents.

It is not a fake but a clone, taken by Mirandarian Spec Ops forces 10yrs ago from the dead mouse's great~11 grandparents.

what are you saying!?!? i am ordering you to finish my economics homework

Perhaps some sort of agreement can be made about your economics homework. Mirandar has some of the greatest economic theoriticians in this Galactic Quadrant. What are you willing to offer Noir?

im willing to offer you a dollar to do my homework, we are working on Monetary Policy. you are lucky we finished studying about adam smith, marx, and keynes. this is microeconomics so i bet you shouldnt need that much help, but you would if you did AP Macroeconomics

Mirandar is an up and coming super-power---we need massive infusions of cash, especially to provide you with superior economics researchers. We also offer an enhanced version of the Tleilaxu Twisted Mentats for use, shall we start the bidding at 10 million Gold Sovereigns?

*sigh* looks like i'll just have to do my own homework, its just outlining a chapter

Our A.Greenspan clone would have scoffed at such simple work anyway. But please do not forget about Mirandar for your future Human Computer (Mentat) purchases :D

...nvm

BUMP because i want to know what happened to the mouse!!!!

I think the mouse escaped....

I think the mouse escaped....

awww...lets catch a new one then!!! :D

OOC: just a little advertising

Please Visit =

-Noir-'s Official Storefront *HERE* (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=115543)

-Noir- Specialty Vehicles and Ordinance *HERE* (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=119097)

The Federation of Warmongering Lunatics has captured another mouse.
Minimum bid: $1.
Any takers?

The Federation of Warmongering Lunatics has captured another mouse.
Minimum bid: $1.
Any takers?

{takes out a pistol and shoots the mouse}

its a robot i tell you a robot!!!

{mouse bursts into flames}

The Federation of Warmongering Lunatics has captured another mouse.
Minimum bid: $1.
Any takers?

{takes out a pistol and shoots the mouse}

its a robot i tell you a robot!!!

{mouse bursts into flames}
OOC: Since I caught it, I decide if I faked it... true?
IC:
Wow! We'll take that pistol as your bid, if you want.
It wasn't a robot unless someone's been sneaking robotic mice into our country...
Spies! We're being spied on! Thanks for exposing it, -Noir-. We will find out who is responsible for this, and there will be... consequences.

We protest holding animals in such small spaces.

Oh yeah? You wanna make something of it?
(waves large knife threateningly)

Oh yeah? You wanna make something of it?
(waves large knife threateningly)

takes the knife and hands him a pistol

bump

1.2 million dollars for the mouse.

Oh yeah? You wanna make something of it?
(waves large knife threateningly)

takes the knife and hands him a pistol
Thanks!
(to F W L soldiers) Catch me some mice, fast. This is a matter of Federation security!

OOC: Islam-Judaism- at the moment, there is no mouse. It escaped. All that's left is an empty jar and a defunct robot.

(5 mice arrive in a box)
(test each mouse with a magnet)
"Fake... fake... fake... real... fake.
We have a real mouse!
1.2 million dollars for the mouse.
Any other bids?


Also, 5 robotic spies out of 6 mice captured! Grr... we will find out who sent them here!"

Not to mention the gremlins....

$1.5 million.

I have $1.5 million from the Empire of Ghout. Do I hear $1.6 million?

(5 mice arrive in a box)
(test each mouse with a magnet)
"Fake... fake... fake... real... fake.
We have a real mouse!
1.2 million dollars for the mouse.
Any other bids?


Also, 5 robotic spies out of 6 mice captured! Grr... we will find out who sent them here!"

{Pulls out P99-N- and shoots the real mouse}

Hahahaha...you need to find yourself a new mouse

...NOO!!! im supposed to free the mice not kill them!?!?!?

Hey! You owe me 2 million dollars.

Fortunately, I've initiated a program of mouse-hunting in the Federation to capture the spies. I should have a replacement mouse soon.

Hey! You owe me 2 million dollars.

Fortunately, I've initiated a program of mouse-hunting in the Federation to capture the spies. I should have a replacement mouse soon.

thats cool, i'll just shoot whatever mouses you bring

I'll get a bullet-proof glass jar for them....

Where's my 2 million dollars?

Yeah? Well I'll get an anti-bulletproof bullet! I'll auction that off!

Bids starting at 50c...

Yeah? Well I'll get an anti-bulletproof bullet! I'll auction that off!

Bids starting at 50c...

i'll bid 1 dollar...

going once...

twice...

SOLD!!!

now i get to set the next mouse "free"

Oh yeah?
http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/contrib/blackeye/2ar15smilie.gif

{in Micheal Jackson voice}

"I didn't hurt anyone, I swear"

*quoting from someone else

"Da boss wants to know where 'is money is. Is dat understood?"
-Joey do Nose
http://mysmilies.creativesell.net/contrib/blackeye/comeandgetsome.gif

...waits for the new mouse to arrive...

Stop shooting all the mice! Do you know what the Emperor will have done to me if I don't get him one?!

Stop shooting all the mice! Do you know what the Emperor will have done to me if I don't get him one?!


hehe, i'll get a guy with a camera to go with you when you go back to your emperor empty-handed. we'll record it and sell it over the internet, or maybe we could just get a live-feed and put it all over the internet and regular TV.

"Da boss wants to know where 'is money is. Is dat understood?"
-Joey do Nose
http://mysmilies.creativesell.net/contrib/blackeye/comeandgetsome.gif
I'm warnin' you....

i dunno where the money is, i gave it to that strange guy in the corner of the room

Dat's not my problem, see. The Boss 'as gotta get da money you owe 'im, so yer gonna give it to me. Got dat, or must I be more... pointed?

Dat's not my problem, see. The Boss 'as gotta get da money you owe 'im, so yer gonna give it to me. Got dat, or must I be more... pointed?

just keep your "pointy": stuff away from me, just go to the corner and sit down

Wadda you, some kinda wise guy or somethin'? Why, I odda...
http://66.0.193.114/isroot/www11651/ProductImages/mrl3692.jpg
"This massive bowie has a 9 3/4" long, stainless steel blade that is 2 1/4" wide and 1/4" thick."

Stop shooting all the mice! Do you know what the Emperor will have done to me if I don't get him one?!


hehe, i'll get a guy with a camera to go with you when you go back to your emperor empty-handed. we'll record it and sell it over the internet, or maybe we could just get a live-feed and put it all over the internet and regular TV.
I'll tell him who's responsible.... He'll do worse to your camera guy, and then he'll come after you!

I'm selling something new...

HAMSTER!!!!! FOR SALE!!! START BIDDING!!

If the mouse is still going, ill give you 55P and an empty can of coke for it?
But waaaiitt for it... the can has a warranty. *nods proudly.

If the mouse is still going, ill give you 55P and an empty can of coke for it?
But waaaiitt for it... the can has a warranty. *nods proudly.
-Noir- keeps shooting all the mice. :x

Oh. That was a mouse. I thought it was a rat. :oops: :roll:

For the hampster I will bid the following items:

* 52c

* 45 kilos of salt

* -Noir-

* -Noir-'s gun

* A pile of dead mice (Organic/Mechanic Assorted)

since there is an international war in the auction, The Dictator of Rickinstine enters the the auction house in bullet proof armor, caring a bretta desert egale, and places a bid for 3.5 million for a live, real, mouse in a triple bullet proof jar, placed in a double bullet proffed safe, that is flame resistant.
here is a pic of the type of mouse in a jar i want
http://www.ratsandmice.com/alex.JPG

occ: the pic you posted looks a lot like a hampster, not a mouse.

The BG has many things to sell, and as this seems a good place to present them we will offer you our most 'special' wares... In a while.

Just one to start.

Item: 1 Human Soul
(Used, but in good condition)

Opening Bid: 3c

Sarkol, High Priest of Tobal, servant of the Great God, Fendar, will bid 5 cents on the used soul (as long as it really is in good condition).

$3.6 million for a real, live, well-protected mouse. It doesn't have to be white.

$3.6 million for a real, live, well-protected mouse. It doesn't have to be white.
4.8 million for the mouse in a jar as specified by my last bid.

i think youre all crayz,but i will bid 5 million and it better be worth it for our sniper core training....
http://www.rknibbe.com/blog/images/2003/September/SniperKitten.jpg

I have a bid of $5 million for the jarred mouse, from Kihameria.
Do I hear any other offers?

$5,000,001
HAHAHAHA
that is my last bid for mousy as per my specifications. :twisted:

2 million :D J/K

2 million :D J/K
Irrelevent. The bidding is already over $5 million....

I'll make it 10!

it was suppose to be on the mouse you nut

it was suppose to be on the mouse you nut
?????
I'm bidding on the mouse.

i mean the mouse in the jar..... but heck i was too late :X

I'm sure there will be another one. Maybe eventually there will even be one that -Noir- doesn't shoot... That's the one I'm biddiing on.

ARGH!!!! KAMIKAZE!!!

a guy runs into the building and pulls out a machine gun and shoots all the miceses and hamsterses

MUAHAHHAHAHAH!!!


it wasnt me...

5 minutes later...hey you, here is 5 dollars, you can keep the machine gun

[quote=-Noi

lol!

ARGH!!!! KAMIKAZE!!!

a guy runs into the building and pulls out a machine gun and shoots all the miceses and hamsterses

MUAHAHHAHAHAH!!!


it wasnt me...

5 minutes later...hey you, here is 5 dollars, you can keep the machine gun
The Rodent Alliance is watching you, -Noir-.

We aren't happy....
http://www3.sk.sympatico.ca/alloy/images2/gopher.jpg
Lira, D G Communications Officer.

...

*Stares at the rodent with a blank expression, jaw drops*

Ok...then...

*Picks up AT-4 recoilless rifle*

Ok...1, 2, Fire!!!

*Blows up rodent, turns around and goes to bed*

Im tired...

Who wants fried rodent???

It tastes just like chicken...

Everything tastes like chicken....EVEN CHICKEN TASTES LIKE CHICKEN!!!

Wrap your head around THAT!!

The Blackguard, we would like to bid the following for the slightly used soul:

5.01 cents
A peice of pocket lint
A worn out desposible razor



We are also placing the following items up for auction:


Item 1:
-A $1'000 dollar government bond from some random unnamed country that was nuked into oblivion over an RL year ago.

Item 2:
-A diner napkin with a mostly-illegible(and thus unreplicatible) mathamatical formula on it, proving the person who wrote it never existed; the oposite side contains the theoretical physicist's suicide note.

Item 3:
-One(1) dollar's worth of gold.


Each item will be sold seperatly; bidding starts at $1 USD

...

*Stares at the rodent with a blank expression, jaw drops*

Ok...then...

*Picks up AT-4 recoilless rifle*

Ok...1, 2, Fire!!!

*Blows up rodent, turns around and goes to bed*

Im tired...

Who wants fried rodent???

It tastes just like chicken...
-Noir- wakes up to see this:
http://media3.funnyjunk.com/pictures/chippy.jpg

£10'000 (thats even more in dollers) for any items that are goin'. BEAT THAT, ha. :wink:

$500,000 for everything

The current bid on the mouse is $10,000,000. Any additional bids on it should be more than that.

$500,000,000 for the mouse in a jar.

$500,000,000 for the mouse in a jar.
$500,000,000.01

http://www.shillpages.com/dw/jamesl11.jpg

we are sending her over. if she cannot find a real live mouse to take back to it's rightful place in germany, she will brutally murder the presidant of the Austar Union.

she will brutally murder the presidant of the Austar Union.

That'd better be a joke...

she will brutally murder the presidant of the Austar Union.

That'd better be a joke...

fortunatly, She has kidnapped a mouse running around the on the floor and has already left Austar.

walks up and shoots woman in the head...

hmmm...ok...where is the mouse?

walks up and shoots woman in the head...

hmmm...ok...where is the mouse?

I think she crushed it when her corpse fell on it.

walks up and shoots woman in the head...

hmmm...ok...where is the mouse?
A squirrel pokes its head out of a tree, watching -Noir-....

$500,000,000 for the mouse in a jar.
$500,000,000.01
I believe this is currently the highest offer... would anyone like to bid above it?