NationStates Jolt Archive


As seen on this mornings 'Today In Nannuk' broadcast

Nannuk
03-02-2004, 16:28
And this is the channel 6 nightly news, with all of the latest happenings in Nannuk.

Today, government officials announced several policy changes due to recent events in the South Pacific. Defense Minister Charles announced a naval expansion program, designed to bolster Nannuk’s ability to defend South Pacific trade routes from piracy and mishaps.

Footage of a military bras press briefing: “With these new light carriers and other assets we should be able to more uniformly extend Nannuk’s naval umbrella throughout the South Pacific region, allowing for continued free trade and crime prevention.”

In other news, the Nannuk Air Force announced a test today at 5PM GMT of a new lightweight, high-yield tactical hydrogen weapon which is hoped will be compatible with Nannuk’s tomahawk and harpoon arsenal.

Footage of a military spokesman: “This new 10KT Hydrogen weapon will be perfect for tactical use if, god forbid, we ever become embroiled in a serious conflict within the region. Mostly we view this weapon as a deterrent against foreign adventurism in our region.”

We’d also like to report that Foreign Secretary Williamson made some preliminary comments about a South Pacific Unified Naval Command but currently we have few details on this initiative.

Finally, on a lighter note Portland BioChem has announced trials of an engineered anaerobic bacterium designed to break down petrochemical compounds into component organic states. According to their statement, this discovery could greatly aid in future oil spill clean efforts.

And now, the weather….
03-02-2004, 16:37
Just n0000k em' :lol:
03-02-2004, 17:02
Are you mad? He can't just nuke them. He needs a reason. Geez. Get with the program.
Nannuk
03-02-2004, 18:01
We bring you a live report from the Ministry of Defense in Portland

“Today, at 5PM GMT, Nannuk Arms Consortia and the Nannuk Department of Defense successfully detonated a small-yield hydrogen weapon designed to supplement our strategic deterrent. There is currently no time table for deployment of this weapon within our conventional forces, however we can state it will occur at a reasonable pace.”

Meanwhile, across the street from 1 Ministry Place, protesters held a candlelight vigil protesting this development.

Footage of protester: “I think it is really sad that in today’s day and age we have to divert money from the homeless and International Aid agencies for these sorts of wasteful projects.”

Of course, not everyone agreed with the anti-military protesters. Across the street, the Nannuk Vetrans Legion held a counter-protest.

Footage: “2! 41 6! 8! Who do we really hate? Commies! Commies! Nuke the Commies!”

And now in entertainment more on our developing ‘Breastgate’ story….