NationStates Jolt Archive


Clearance Sale

01-02-2004, 04:43
All right, this is what I have:
Demon Souls--- Shipped in diamond vials, these are some of the most dangerous things in the universe. When released, they possess the first person they see. Once in control, they go into a violent rampage, destroying all in their path. As they will not care whose side they are on, you should get out of the way before you become their next victim. When possessing someone, the victim will be nearly impossible to kill by mortal means, and can only be destroyed by boiling holy water through the heart, a cross through the chest, or a kiss by a Mormon(I don't know either). As said, any of these things will destroy the actual soul of the demon. Something less powerful, like a beating with a Jesus-Ville Slugger, will just scare the possessor out of the body, where they will return to me. If the body is destroyed, the demon's soul will return to me. The souls are priced at 10,000 Two-faced Devil Coins apiece, but if they return to me intact, you will get four thousand Two-faced Devil Coins back. A bargain fit for Lucifer himself.
Satanic Newts---Fire newts with a bloodlust. These newts, which set fire to everything they touch, save the small crates in which they are ships made out of top secret metals, understand their purpose, and carry it out with glee. While they are easily taken out, they are small and hard to hit. A wonderful addition to your army, only 200 Two-faced Devil Coins apiece.
Exullian Diamond Plated Tanks---Straight from Exullia, I bought ninety-two of them in a private deal. They are shielded in a light layer of diamond, made with the carbon in human corpses, and are incredibly sturdy. The have two full sized canons apiece, one in front, one on top for planes, along with five mini-canons which slowly revolve around the tank. These are incredibly rare, but can be yours for the low, low, low price of 2,468,592 Two-faced Devil Coins apiece, or you can buy thirteen for 48,137,544. A great deal!
Jesus’d Cross---Ehhh, a bloody hunk of wood I found, but it seems pretty valuable. 10,000,000 Two-faced Devil Coins. All it does is sit around, but I guess you could mount a scarecrow on it to scare away Attila the Hun.


***Remember, for 2,000 Two-Faced Devil Coins, We can have a coin flip. If tails, you get 10% off everything you buy.
01-02-2004, 05:00
I will take ten souls for 100,000 coins. I am wiring them to you right now.
01-02-2004, 05:03
I just got them. Quick service. I am using them to destroy Exullia. I will attack soon.
01-02-2004, 05:14
Give me fifty souls, two hundred newts, and make it snappy. I have to destroy Verezello. By the way, what else do you have? Anything in the backroom, perhaps.
01-02-2004, 05:25
What, you mean like a Two-hundred Mile Hypnotic Gas Dispension Range Missle with an Expanding to 1,000,000 Mile Range Laser Ring and a Sheilded Demon-Possesed Minator Fifty Beast Army, Fully Armored. No, we don't have anything like that for say, fifty billion.
01-02-2004, 05:26
What, you mean like a Two-hundred Mile Hypnotic Gas Dispension Range Missle with an Expanding to 1,000,000 Mile Range Laser Ring and a Sheilded Demon-Possesed Minator Fifty Beast Army, Fully Armored. No, we don't have anything like that for say, fifty billion.
01-02-2004, 05:33
All right, here are 540,000 Two-faced Devil Coins for the products, and fifty billion for yourself.
01-02-2004, 05:34
Thank you! For all that buying, I gave you a large, empty yet mysteriously heavy crate along with your purchases.
01-02-2004, 05:52
Any more takers?
01-02-2004, 05:57
No games. I'll take a blood generated death sheild, and demon one thousand souls. And for all of this I will pay five hundred million, no more. Here is the money, and I know you have them.
01-02-2004, 05:58
*request met*