NationStates Jolt Archive

>-->--> Ninjao Network of News SPECIAL REPORT <--<--<

Earlier today a massive explosion could be heard through the Ninjaon nations of Shertaeth and Sagroi as a massive trading vessel, the LTS Watanabe, ran into a sea mine, causing a chain reaction exploding the remaining mines in cluster 5574. The ship was carrying crates of stuff and had a crew of 22. No people on shore were injured.

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In other news, the "Websterian Idol" contestant George Newman was brutally murdered on stage by one of the judges. Citing temporary insanity from the contestant's poor performance, the judge was let free and will not be facing any charges.

Ninjao News Network EVENING PROGRAMMING

" Good evening, I'm Troy Glodite. Our top story tonight revolves around the horrible accident involving the LTS Watanbe, 22 crewmembers, and an unconfirmed amount of sea mines. Funerals are already scheduled for the crewmembers, and the Watanbe is being raised from the ocean floor to be 'recycled'. The government sends its condolences to the family members of the sea mines lost in the accident.

In other news, a small pack of dragons ravaged the town of Tsutsumi-no, Tsujoo-no, that's not it, Tsutsujiga-ah hell, the town of STEVE!!! There were no reported casualties, but at least ten thousand dollars in damage was reported by ten last night. Tsu-er, the town, which lies on the outskirts of Joshu, has been somewhat of a haven for the remaining dragons that have not been killed due to unexpected effects of recent Uranium Mining. This is the first ever report of a dragon attack anywhere in Joshu. Over to you, Mariko. "

"Thanks, Troy. And it's Tsutsujigasaki, you worthless, talentless man. In a completely random, unrelated story, the farmers of Lobodastan have raised their milk prices for the third time this week, leaving grocery store owners and customers in Joshu high and dry. Why I get stuck with these reports is anyone's guess..."

"Uh, thank you, Mariko, for that... enthralling story. I guess that's all we have for now. Stay tuned, and after the commercial break, I'm sure we'll be able to steal another station's weather report and pimp it as our own."

*Cue the annoying muzak*