War in the Lost Valley of the Dinosaurs
The Dominion of Apeman would like to formally declare war on The Most Serene Republic of Binyvia
For the last couple of days, troops have been amassing on our borders (and also on those of the Borderlands of Rulez). As a result, various arms have been purchased, allies have been sought and troops have been mobilised.
We will not let these invaders take the homes of our people and in the words fo a famous politican of another land..."we will never surrender"
We are a small nation (7 million), but our hearts are strong and our aim is true.
Apeman
Do they have a reason for going to war with you?
No formal notice was granted to our nation. The first that we heard was from scouts reporting a buildup in military forces along our borders from previously unknown nation
Spies sent into the nation revealed that the leader seems to be slightly unstable and possess a militaristic personality. They seem to covert our lands, which are at present unexpoited due to our small population demands. More worrying though is that the leader of Binyvia seems to be using this war to kickstart his/her struggling economy
As the Leader of the Armed Republic of Twlldydyn I give my pledge to aid the Dominion of Apeman in its forthcoming war against the vile, putrid, quagmire that is known as Binyavia.
The Armed Republic of Twlldydyn had not been given its name lightly every man, woman and child (over 2 years old) carries a weapon and has training in a variety of fighting skills varying from the traditional martial arts to the more obscure Retrasophy (the art of inserting fruit into various part of an opponents body without the opponent being aware. The right amount of pressure put on the inner ear by grapes for instance can cause a massive brain haemorrhage).
The fact that our population is small (7 million) should not be taken as a sign of weakness. Each of us has a pathological lust for violence and will give our very live rather than let a single member of our great nation suffer.
We have made no secret of the fact that we see others within the Lost Valley of the Dinosaur as week and feeble. Our feelings towards the Apeman Domain have been widely recorded, and even though we have little to no respect for that nation not they’re ruler we will stand should to should with our neighbours in this great struggle. The defining struggle of our era.
Officially The Borderlands of Rulez have no need for violence in our utopian existence and is currently attempting peace negotiations.
However the Binyvians have been silent upon this topic and soon the negotiatiors of Rulez may become tired of whatever diplomatic game Binyvia is playing.
Though Rulez has no desire for war, we will defend our honour and homelands resolutely with our small but stealthy, rapid-deployment, counter-strike intelligence force whom have been linked (no official press) with a number of covert assasinations prior to the build up of arms.
Backed by the brute might of Tw... & Apeman we feel that a swift and decisive strike may be required to return balance once again to the region.
If a struggle should ensue I am afraid that Rulez may not be able to control the armies of Apeman and Tw... and their brutal tactics and torture methods. I know they generally dance naked in the face of UN resolutions and Geneva conventions. The toll on the people of Binyvia could be quite horrific.
Binyvia - lay down your arms.
Having declared war on the wrong nation, it is probably not wise for the people of the Experience to join this war.
So it's just as well they don't have the vote and that I decide what goes :twisted:
Just make sure you send me directions......
Representatives from Potts Island would like to join Rulez in his appeal for the Binyvians to lay down there arms. Further, we would invite all leaders in the region to stop this headlong dash towards armed conflict and join us in peace and prosperity. We are willing to share round chocolate Hob Nobs at the negotiating table.
Respect of a thousand suns to you and the people of the Border Lands of Rulez. Your views on non-violence were believed by a select few within our nation to the only way of saving the human race from ultimate annihilation and therefore worthy of the highest praise. Most of our nation, myself included, believes that is shows unbelievable cowardice on your part. Unfortunately those select few disagreed with a certain policy of on the stop capital punishment for parking infringements and were dealt with appropriately.
Our nation has been bread on war and will gladly aid your peace-loving nation in defending its borders from the raping and pillaging hordes of Binyvia. All we require from you is your blessing for our troops to enter your territory.
In order to aid the flow of information between us that will be so important to succeed in this war may I suggest that the Twlldydyn Ambassador be allowed to return to your capital, after all it has been years since that tragic incident between out country's. I would like to pass on to you wife my condolences again for the loss of her sight in one eye, but as the video has shown time and time again it was my shot.
With the respect of my Nation
Crafa Dydyn
Honourable Leader of Twlldydyn
Dearest Crafa,
We would welcome back your ambassador with open arms. The old building overlooking the Rulez river is still vacant (pending paperwork about a small rodent population left by your previous ambassador)
Old cyclops has recovered but now estranged. I believe she had something known as 'The Experience' and was never the same way again.
We are however substantially concerned about the movement of troops through our terrirtory. With the reputation of your soldiers in recent years I worry for our womenfolk. Rulez is known for it's particular brand of uglyness and with virile men such as yours entering our population - it could lead to disasterous conseuqences for family stability.
I am sure we can with renewed ties work on this.
Salutations to us both! Today will be a national holiday in Rulez!
Stu Rulez of Rulez
Chocolate Hob Nobs you say?
Any chance of some grapefruit juice?
Grapefruit juice will be availiable, but our Prime Minister finds it too bitter to drink on its own, and so mixes it in equal parts with orange juice. The resultant drink is our National Beverage, and we would be most honoured if you would care to partake of it.
Sounds great!
I'll tell the army to drop their arms and come on over for tea!
when will you ever learn that tea parties will not keep your borders safe!!
Only through united effort can we secure safty in our region