NationStates Jolt Archive

The Collective, a duly elected governing body of The Borderlands of Imperial Yellow Spot, wishes to issue the following statement:

"The hour is nigh for the freedom of our people. Word has reach our shores that secret opposition parties are gathering sufficient strength in the Fatherland (The Kingdom of The Big Yellow Spot) to bring about revolution.

"We have already staged a bloodless revolution and won a victory in this former outpost of the Empire, almost as soon as it was set up. The Empire has spread itself too wide and grown too quickly - even the Free Land of The Rising Yellow Spot is independent in all but name, anarchy sweeping through the territory over which the Grand High Lord's cousin presides.

"Imperial Yellow Spot has allies in the New Nation Alliance, who will protect the interests of our free peoples, if needs be. May the world gather behind us, in support."

I reinforce the NNA's position that it will defend its member nations.

I am shocked that Imperial Yellow Spot should make such assertions. It was The Kingdom of The Big Yellow Spot who made the initial alliance with the New Nation Alliance, and it was after the Empire had set up an "outpost" there that those who call themselves "The Collective" committed treason against the Fatherland, and stole our allies, without informing the NNA of what had occured.

Furthermore, there is no opposition to my rule here, and people are perfectly happy without choice or rights, or to be made to disappear in the middle of the night. The same goes for my son, Prince Jibbert, Lord Protector of the Colony of The Lesser Yellow Spot. As for my cousin, Lord Clobbert the Lazy, Big Cheese of the Free Land of The Rising Yellow Spot, I've washed my hands of that twit.

I would appreciate if no one told me how to run my country, thank you very much.

King Flubbert III
Grand High Lord of the Evil Flea of Doom
Kingdom of The Big Yellow Spot

Okay, so maybe we might have been a bit economical with the truth with the whole "gaining independence" thing, but you only had to look at our nation to see how much more enlightened we are than you. Any old fool could have put two and two together.

Okay, so maybe we might have been a bit economical with the truth with the whole "gaining independence" thing, but you only had to look at our nation to see how much more enlightened we are than you. Any old fool could have put two and two together.

Enlightened?! Pah! With your economy?

I, Lady Jellybean of the Freeland of Jellybaby, Mother of Little Lady Jellybeanie of the Rogue Nation of Jellybaby Munchers, am concerned at these rumours of unrest in your Empire Lord Flubbert III.

I was given to understand that your Empire had similar moral codes to my own nation and that my daughter, Little Lady Jellybeanie, would be safe with Lord Clobbert the Lazy in Outer Annarkia. And now I find that you have broken diplomatic relations with him, describing him as a 'twit'. Meanwhile I hear rumours of social breakdown in that region as the governments prepare to embark on an immoral interstate witch-hurling competition.

What are we to do about this region? I know longer have any sway over my daughter, although I do have spies in her nation who live in the lush green forests where the sacred rabbits (who are also under threat from mining) gambol freely. It is they who have brought me these disturbing rumours.

Will your impending civil war affect Outer Annarkia, or indeed my own region of the Enormous Arse?

Cordially
Lady Jellybean

Enlightened?! Pah! With your economy?

Er, yes, actually. Money isn't everything, you know.


Lady Jellybean, we appreciate your concern of relations between the Spotty Peoples, but we believe the situation is not beyond a diplomatic solution.

Yeah, shut your face you old hag.


The Colony of The Lesser Yellow Spot concurs with the Fatherland. They are weak and feeble and their insignificant rebellion shall be crushed.

Prince Jibbert
Lord Protector of The Lesser Yellow Spot
Powerful Tax Haven - for all your laundry needs

Easy, tiger. Did I mention military action?

Well, no, but I just thought --

Well, you just leave the thinking to me in future, will you, Sonny Jim?

Sorry, Dad.

That's alright. So long as you learn from your actions. Now, where was I?

Er, we think you were about to execute all our co-conspirators in the Fatherland.

Right.

What were their names?

Alice, and Maude. Your remember Alice, don't you?

Aha!

Damn! Foiled again!


News Flash:

"ALICE AND MAUDE BRUTALLY MURDERED"

"Everybody's favourite co-conspirators were today found hacked to death
with their own dessert spoons, and dumped at the border to the
Borderlands of Imperial Yellow Spot, at the coastal town of Spotmouth.

"A spokesman for The Collective said, 'Our dear friends are believed to
have passed on during the night in their beds in The Big Yellow Spot's
capital city, Skegness. It's such a terrible tragedy, made all the
harder as they were both trying to lose weight, so they had not had
pudding for months and were even considering selling the spoons.'"

Whoa, man! Chill. There's, like, no need for all this, like, violence, man. Why don't we, like, all just be, like, groovy?

Lord Clobbert the Lazy
Big Cheese in The Free Land of The Rising Yellow Spot

Hell of thread (in a good way)

Hey, thanks, man. Hey, your, like, nation's, like, pretty cool. Why don't you come and see us over in Outer Annarkia, dude?

Whoa! I'm, like, a real anarchy now, man!

Lord Clobbert, our economy is weak and our independence is under threat. With your military budget of 15 trillion coins of purest green ($30bn for the uninitiated), we will be multiplying our force by a factor of 500. Will you join us in our quest to free all people Spotty?

Yeah, sure, whatever. Those guys in the Fatherland are, like, pretty downtrodden, so we should definitely do something, man. I'm with ya.

But, like, less of the name-calling, will ya? It's a medical condition, and I have to smear all this, like, sticky yellow goo on every morning, and it, like, really stings when I get it in my eyes, dude.

We apologise.

Onward, Comrades, er, we mean Allies. We shall march to glorious revolution!

Hey, I just took a look at your country, man. What's with all the, like, "Below Average" civil rights stuff about? I thought you were trying to free people, not enslave them.

Sorry. We're not trying to, it just sort of happened.

Yeah, whatever. I'm with you anyway, dudes.

Clobbert, what'cha doin? What about the witch-hurling?

Uncle Flubbert, just to let'cha know that me and the Big Cheese, Lord Clobbert the Lazy, did agree that we want nothing to do with this civil war of yours. We're a bit busy at the moment with our witch-hurling competition [which, incidentally MOTHER, is not at all immoral as witches are not a protected species in the region of Outer Annarkia and witch-hurling is fast becoming a popular regional sport with people travelling from far and wide to the Outer Annarkia Stadia to watch their sporting heroes hurl witches a very long way. Just yesterday, Sir Maurice, aided by his noble pet Sir Horace the Dog, threw his witch 400 (distance readjusted after the judge was given a lesson in the units of distance) metres in the direction of the border of the Free Land of the Rising Yellow Spot (not considered an act of war). [commentary is provided by 'The Biiiiiiiiiiggggggg Knights Inc.] So consider us neutral ok, at least till the games are over. Although, come to think of it murdering people in their beds with their own spoons could be seen as contravening their right to be anarchic so we'll likely come in against you some time soon (fair warning and all that)...
So...don't try and drag us into it (yet)
C'ya
Jellybeanie (Little Lady, of the Rogue Nation of Jellybaby Munchers)

King Flubbert III, I just don't believe it! I turn my back for five minutes - I've been on a tour of my nations lush forests and visited with the sacred rabbits to seek their advice on our current troubles - and I return to find that no diplomatic solution, as you promised, has been found and that you have dragged my daughter Little Lady Jellybeanie into this civil war which would appear to be going ahead whether you like it or not. I hope you realise that I cannot countenance war for any reason so you can forget any ideas about my country coming to your aid (particularly given the state of your civil rights and political freedoms and the fact that you seem to have taken up murdering people with their own cutlery!), although, i would protect my daughter with my life. This is despite the fact that she's turned her back on me, joined forces with your brother Lord Clobbert the Lazy, and is currently gaining popular support through witch-hurling competitions. [Incidentally, i should probably be quite proud of her when I compare her to your own progeny, Prince Jibbert, Lord Protector of The Lesser Yellow Spot, who is quite rude - just you wait till I get my hands on you, you're not too young to be put over my knee and spanked you know!]
I will write again with news of what the sacred rabbits suggested - I am too distressed by all I have learned to continue this missive now.
Lady Jellybean
The Freeland of Jellybaby

ps. I hope Alice and Maude have found eternal peace

Report from "The Daily Spot":

IT'S COLD OUTSIDE!!!

Relations between the Yellow Spot nations became so cold yesterday that the entire Empire froze in a giant ice cube. Rescue workers are slowly chipping away at the offending whiskey accompaniment, but the peoples of The Kingdom of The Big Yellow Spot, The Colony of The Lesser Yellow Spot, The Free Land of The Rising Yellow Spot and The Borderlands of Imperial Yellow Spot are not expected to do anything at all for the next seven months, two weeks, three days, sixteen hours, twelve minutes and fifty-three point four eight seconds. A spokesmen said nothing at all. He couldn't, he was frozen in ice.

Report from "The Daily Spot":

IT'S COLD OUTSIDE!!!

Relations between the Yellow Spot nations became so cold yesterday that the entire Empire froze in a giant ice cube. Rescue workers are slowly chipping away at the offending whiskey accompaniment, but the peoples of The Kingdom of The Big Yellow Spot, The Colony of The Lesser Yellow Spot, The Free Land of The Rising Yellow Spot and The Borderlands of Imperial Yellow Spot are not expected to do anything at all for the next seven months, two weeks, three days, sixteen hours, twelve minutes and fifty-three point four eight seconds. A spokesmen said nothing at all. He couldn't, he was frozen in ice.