NationStates Jolt Archive

Pick your god and roleplay away! Godmoding is allowed, since it's impossible not to!

Dibs on Jesus!

No fair, because nobody can beat Jesus... IN A TANK!
Props to SLAG for that one, lol.

Fine. Jesus won't use his tank.

hmmmm....i wonder if Sephiroth counts as a god?......one winged angel my hatred and love, ooooohhhhh im getting all philosophical!

I'll take zeus

*with a smile, Jesus descends from heaven, and prepares for a confrontation of biblical proportions*

I give Zeus a bone-crushing noogie of light

zeus calls to mount olmpia and every god exept hati prpares for battle

Jesus summons his covey of angels to his side, and prepares for battle!

nymphs joins zeus's side

Satan sneaks in and ties the leather on jesus' sandals together :wink:

seizing this good moment zeus stabs a thunder bolt throught jesus's heart. The angels try to stop it but the nymphs were quik to stop him. then... then zeus went to satan and gave him the prettiest nymph and a dollar.

Jesus rises up, gives satan a kick of epic proportion to his three... heads, tears the lightning bolt out of his chest, stabs Zeus with it, then rips off his head and shats down his neck.

then.... a chiken pooped out of it... it was a decoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! zeus was acutally hiding among the angels, takes out a thunder bolt... and throws it at jesus... all the other gods use what powers the have to attack jesus

Ill take Loki, god of mischif.

*Mischivios smile*

runs away crying, then remembers he is Satan. Turns round and tries to tempt Jesus with many good looking girls, wine, grapes and uhhhhhh.......
gold mur frankensense. (hey, it worked for the others guys :wink: )
haha, you cannot resist

Jesus Looks up, says something to the sky, and a large weight that appears to be drawn drops down out of the sky, and crushes the gods and goddesses! He then jumps on top of it and performs act one of Godspell, along with P.O.D.

then.. satan gives zeus the ultamit weapon. A steak(cross thingy). Zeus prepares to crucify jesus. jesus allows him because he remembered that he was a peaceful man

But then he forgets! Ripping his hands off the nails, with a yell of "Savior Smash," He picks up the cross, and shoves it up Satans rectum.
Then Zeus recieves Jesus... up the rear!

jesus gets a cramp becasue ceres brings a monkey out of his but. jesus yells with pain. then haden calls out atlas to fight. cornius arises from the dead and calls upon mother earth to rid of jesus

I think Satan is gunna have to drop out of this match, being smashed to bits is one thing, but having objects placed up my arse is where i draw the line.....buggers off back to hell to call forth reinforcements, armies of demons :twisted:

Jesus sends cornis to the ninth circle of hell, tells atlas his shoes are untied, then when he's looking down gives him the upper cut of Salvation, mines Mother Earth all to hell, picks up the butt monkey and chokes Ceres with it.

with the monkey dead... zeus's moral lowers.. he flee to mount olmpia withh every one where only greek gods can be.. but he will return

Jesus, smiles, and returns to heaven in a pillar of light.

Post when ya'll are ready for round two. I won't use jesus. then.

puts floating napalm in the air sand lights it while writing 'Jesus sucks, and is a daddies boy'....thats for lowering Zeus' moral!

I call hmm.... whats he called again? anubis no...


I call set

I'll get ra.
Jesus makes the clouds form, "Satan is a Spaniel-Buggerer!"

set calls on anubis and his doogy things.. and he calls on all the devils of egypt

i wanna be Levaithian, im in my element when im a water god.
........napalm will last sooooo much longer than some crappy clouds, they will be reading my sign on your next millenium birthday!

the scorpion king is called upon

get ready to fight in...

3...

2...

1...

In a blinding flash of light, Ra appears in all his solar glory!

anubus sheilds it with his dark magic

Ra makes a bolt of liquid sun, and using his colossal strength, hurls it through anubis' dark shielding, going straight through his eye!

may I remind you that anubis wasn't attacking, and ra and anubis are allies? at least in the scriptures

Ra looks at anubis quizically, takes out the lightning bolt and apologizes, and gives him a dollar.

Levaithian summons all his little gold fish to attack and slap there enemies across the face in a comical way....'slap slap slap'!

Ra picks the one that looks most like Nemo from "Finding Nemo," saves it, and turns the rest into sushi rolls which he throws in the Leviathans face!

set goes to antartica and bring back 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00 penguins. They are all very hungry


*Chomp*

Ra summons the powers of the sun and gives Leviathan a nasty sunburn, which has quite a good chance of developing into skin cancer!

wipes gold fish remains off face then sticks a snapy crab down Ra's skimpy underwear......MWHAHAHA, hows that for evil :twisted:

very... the penguins now wants to ally with the water person... in tribute they give him narwhales and sharks

Ra howls to the sky, reaches into his french-made thong, pulls out the offending crab, throws it on ground, and stomps on it. He then absolutely FRIES the Leviathans private parts, rips them off, and serves them to him on a savory cracker!
UMGH! EVILNESS :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

hahah now i have evil killing machine shark....things.....(!)
swim my pretty's swim! destroy Ra and buy sum sun tan lotion while ur out :wink:

the penguin sees the thong and wants to wear it. They try to pull it off the lump by pecking at it

Sharks charging at him, Ra must think fast. He doesn't, and as a result, he has lost a few toes.

the penguins now becaome gods stronger than ra

Sharks charging at him, Ra must think fast. He doesn't, and as a result, he has lost a few toes.

lol! a toe-less god, you are sooooo gunna lose respect for that one
followers when there was toes=10 million
follower without toes=1......

that one is himself


lol=lemon or lime


lemon

Ra bribes the penguins with particularly crunchy herrings, and the promise of REAL tuxedoes. They now turn on their former masters, viciously pecking them!

the penguin realizes that there are no fish in the desert now attacks ra

Ra calls on the one force powerful enough to turn the penguins... THE NATIONSTATES MODERATORS! The penguins cower in fear, and the attack set and leviathin, pecking and quacking ruthlessly!

stands over penguins looking angry, I am Levaithian, God Of Water, return for where you came or serve me!
Penguins become my servants and run around fetching stuff for me like chilly willy!

so you know, I have a pet penguin and they would never turn on me

Bah. Summons all my god-groupies who proceed to slap you and curse at you for not realising that "Ra is like, SOooooo dreamy!"

but he is.... sooooooo dreamy

Ra gives Set a big hug and an autograph, then redirects groupies.

the penguins leave becasue of the aouto graph

I smack ya upside the head while you are looking at the penguins

and merlin comes and turns ra into a chiken... feast up

............oh god i thought this had died!!.....im off for a swim in the Atlantic *swims off to america across atlantic*
...............then makes a giant tidal wave and destroys everyone with it! didnt expect that did ya?

The Chicken Has Magic Flying Powers That Makes Each Word Be Capitilised! But KFC Catches It And Turns It Into Chicken Nuggets!