NationStates Jolt Archive

:idea: The Armed Republic of the Santa Empiria has developed a new, totally exclusive weapon for attack upon and defense of marine nations! :idea:

Using specially trained, surgically modified dolphins native to the Pacific, Santa Empiria has created the next wave of naval bombardement. IMAGINE the ability to destroy your enemy with a fly-by-wire torpedo. IMAGINE if the torpedo was able to recognize threats, countermeasures, and successfully target critical points in the structure of an enemy vessel. IMAGINE using such a weapon from nearly one thousand miles away.

Stop imagining - the technology is here, on the market, for a price too good to pass up.

:arrow: Specs:
Each dolphin is specially trained, at no cost to your government, to recognize all modern countermeasure devices (including, but not limited to: Flares, pellet charges, depth charges, mines, and torpedoes), as well as recognize critical seams, communication beams, and critically weak areas of all modern warships. Using state-of-the-art equipment, our scientists remove the areas of the brain required for self-preservation and higher thinking in each dolphin, replacing these areas with implanted cerebral-control units.

After each dolphin is safety tested to the highest standards, one eye is removed and replaced with a combination infrared/ultraviolet sensor. This sensor, when combined with the dolphin's natural sonar ability, creates a three-fold location device to help you better attack any concealed or camoflauged enemies.

AND YOU CONTROL IT ALL. The implanted control units in each dolphin are controlled by a remote device, hardwired specifically for each dolphin. NONE of this technology is at cost to you: each dolphin comes combat-ready, available for pickup upon monetary transfer at the secure training center.

Bred for extra-wide esophageal openings, each dolphin is able to carry any ordenance 1mX.5mX.5mX100kg or smaller. Depth charges? CHECK! Impact-torpedoes? CHECK! New or top secret ordenance (even small nuclear devices)? CHECK!

The government of Santa Empiria is prepared to place 4,550 of these units on the market, ready for pickup or delivery (delivery at nominal fee of $3000 per unit).

Cost per unit: $350,000

Current supplies are limited to 4,550 units! Order now by II or private telegram!

- Bureau of Defense, Weapons Division, Armed Republic of the Santa Empiria.

i think it's a bit illegal in the UN

Its an ingenious idea. The USNAVY uses them to detect mines and keep the CIVILIAN shipping and of course the military lanes clear. They're doing more good then harm. The dolphins are never mistreated and if so man that person better hope his superior just sends him to work in Alaska or Greenland.

While the USNAVY doesn't implant anything into their brains as far as I know of it's not a bad idea. Since the animals operate extremely well underwater they would be the best at the job.

Animal rights activists are going to whine but hell if you kill a mosquito carrying malaria they do the same. These dolphins save countless lives, especially in hostile waters where primitive mines are placed that cannot decipher between a luxury liner and a destroyer.

Hooah for the dolphins!

The Armed Republic of the Santa Empiria is not a member of the United Nations, and is therefore not subject to the regulations applied to members.

The Dolphins involved in the DolphinBomb project are bred and trained for this purpose: they feel nothing but duty for their cause.

4,550 units would cost @ $350,000 each a total of $1.5925B.

Let's see. Plenty of money in the budget. You betcha can I get them all delivered as soon as possible?

4,550 units would cost @ $350,000 each a total of $1.5925B.

Let's see. Plenty of money in the budget. You betcha can I get them all delivered as soon as possible?

Upon reception of the wire transfer of $1.606B ($1,606,000,000)[the cost of all 4,550 units and the disclosed delivery fee], the transport vessel will deliver all 4550 units to your desired location.

- Bureau of Defense, A.R.S.E. (Armed Republic of the Santa Empiria)

The Federation condemns this enslavement of an intelligent creature for use as a bomb.

4,550 units would cost @ $350,000 each a total of $1.5925B.

Let's see. Plenty of money in the budget. You betcha can I get them all delivered as soon as possible?

Upon reception of the wire transfer of $1.606B ($1,606,000,000)[the cost of all 4,550 units and the disclosed delivery fee], the transport vessel will deliver all 4550 units to your desired location.

- Bureau of Defense, A.R.S.E. (Armed Republic of the Santa Empiria)

Delivery fee yes doh! Sorry about that. Yes that seems just right. Can they be delivered by sea? If so the standard commerical port will do.

4,550 units would cost @ $350,000 each a total of $1.5925B.

Let's see. Plenty of money in the budget. You betcha can I get them all delivered as soon as possible?

Upon reception of the wire transfer of $1.606B ($1,606,000,000)[the cost of all 4,550 units and the disclosed delivery fee], the transport vessel will deliver all 4550 units to your desired location.

- Bureau of Defense, A.R.S.E. (Armed Republic of the Santa Empiria)

Delivery fee yes doh! Sorry about that. Yes that seems just right. Can they be delivered by sea? If so the standard commerical port will do.

:arrow: Delivery by sea confirmed to standard commercial port. Awaiting cash transfer.

- Bureau of Defense, A.R.S.E.

:arrow: Delivery by sea confirmed to standard commercial port. Awaiting cash transfer.

- Bureau of Defense, A.R.S.E.

Money being wired as we speak. Confirm $1.606B

OOC: One must also wonder where a one-day old nation, with no IT industry to speak of, gets all these highly expensive neural control technologies and advanced sensors.

OOC: One must also wonder where a one-day old nation, with no IT industry to speak of, gets all these highly expensive neural control technologies and advanced sensors.

He could be a high tech level where this stuff is basic. And TBH this type of working control, while it is highly advanced, has to have been in research for ages. Mind control techniques were used on humans and even monkeys throughout the better part of the 20th century. Adapt the technology, design chips that give certain impulses, its not all that far-fetched.

[quote="Layarteb
Money being wired as we speak. Confirm $1.606B[/quote]

Cash Total of $1.606B recieved, delivery vessel sent. Pleasure doing buisness with you, sir.

As a secondary note of interest, a private telegram is being sent to your government's office from the Bureau of Defense. It may be in the best interest of Layarteb to read said telegram.

- Bureau of Defense, A.R.S.E.

OOC: One must also wonder where a one-day old nation, with no IT industry to speak of, gets all these highly expensive neural control technologies and advanced sensors.

He could be a high tech level where this stuff is basic.

So high-tech that it's not reflected in the country's profile? :P

So high-tech that it's not reflected in the country's profile? :P

It'll never say in your country profile what tech level you are. Some people come in and say they want to be Cold War tech. Hell I even saw 18th century somewhere. Then some are modern, well most which is basically 2008 max. Then futurish 2012. Then you got the neo-space battlestar gallactica stuff which is like 2500 and whatever that may be I don't know the specifics.

As a secondary note of interest, a private telegram is being sent to your government's office from the Bureau of Defense. It may be in the best interest of Layarteb to read said telegram.

- Bureau of Defense, A.R.S.E.

Roger that. Awaiting recieve.

OOC: One must also wonder where a one-day old nation, with no IT industry to speak of, gets all these highly expensive neural control technologies and advanced sensors.

[[OOC: The Armed States of Santa Empiria operates on a technological level several decades ahead of conventional means. That, and the dolphins basically swim right into our tuna nets. That's free capital, baby 8) .]]

[[OOC: The Armed States of Santa Empiria operates on a technological level several decades ahead of conventional means. That, and the dolphins basically swim right into our tuna nets. That's free capital, baby 8) .]]

Tastey. Now that's some good fishing!

[[OOC: The Armed States of Santa Empiria operates on a technological level several decades ahead of conventional means. That, and the dolphins basically swim right into our tuna nets. That's free capital, baby 8) .]]

Tastey. Now that's some good fishing!

So high-tech that it's not reflected in the country's profile? :P

It'll never say in your country profile what tech level you are. Some people come in and say they want to be Cold War tech. Hell I even saw 18th century somewhere. Then some are modern, well most which is basically 2008 max. Then futurish 2012. Then you got the neo-space battlestar gallactica stuff which is like 2500 and whatever that may be I don't know the specifics.

It does say where your economic strongpoints are, however... and seeing as neither Arms Manufacturing or Information Technology are on SE's list, I think Santa Empiria should wait more than a day before coming out with such highly technical and complex bio-weapons. We're just supposed to swallow this without critical thought, I guess.

It does say where your economic strongpoints are, however... and seeing as neither Arms Manufacturing or Information Technology are on SE's list, I think Santa Empiria should wait more than a day before coming out with such highly technical and complex bio-weapons. Note that SE has not said what tech level he/she is at... we're just supposed to swallow this without critical thought, I guess.

He did after I mentioned that this stuff would not be uncommon in higher tech levels. It's like those people who are space technology coming out and talking about WARP drives right away. For them, that's the first step.

[[OOC: The Armed States of Santa Empiria operates on a technological level several decades ahead of conventional means. That, and the dolphins basically swim right into our tuna nets. That's free capital, baby 8) .]]

How convenient. You are aware that most dolphins die in tuna nets, right? They don't survive being caught in that manner.

How convenient. You are aware that most dolphins die in tuna nets, right? They don't survive being caught in that manner.

Survival of the fittest.

Except they don't survive.

And we haven't even gotten into how the cost should be higher... the question of how a dolphin carries a bomb in its mouth without choking... etc...

Advanced technology, advanced tuna nets. It's not like the dolphin's who swim into the nets have a large desire for self-preservation, anyway. Suicidal nonces. And as far as carrying the weaponry, it's the same as if they swallow a boot or something else they can't digest. It just sits in their gut. Except with the units, they're probably metal, and probably not going to be in there long before they explode. Again, it's up to the buyers.

Well I for one don't plan on having them carry any signficant weapons but rather have them wear a device that drops a sort of homing device by the object in question and then it is properly disposed of.

Advanced technology, advanced tuna nets. It's not like the dolphin's who swim into the nets have a large desire for self-preservation, anyway. Suicidal nonces. And as far as carrying the weaponry, it's the same as if they swallow a boot or something else they can't digest. It just sits in their gut. Except with the units, they're probably metal, and probably not going to be in there long before they explode. Again, it's up to the buyers.

Thank you for showing your complete lack of education on marine biology and fishing practices.

Advanced technology, advanced tuna nets. It's not like the dolphin's who swim into the nets have a large desire for self-preservation, anyway. Suicidal nonces. And as far as carrying the weaponry, it's the same as if they swallow a boot or something else they can't digest. It just sits in their gut. Except with the units, they're probably metal, and probably not going to be in there long before they explode. Again, it's up to the buyers.

Thank you for showing your complete lack of education on marine biology and fishing practices.

Fair 'nuff. :wink:

You should see what they find in sharks after catching them. The amount of debris is phenominal.

You should see what they find in sharks after catching them. The amount of debris is phenominal.

Sharks. Not dolphins.

The United Socialist States of Nodea Rudav and the beloved, patriotic people within are outraged with this idea of a "Dolphin Bomb." The person responsible is none-the-less a killer of species, human or animal, and should be comdemned for such a idiotic and stupid act of Technological Advancement for war.

Although we as a small nation are unable to use force with anything, and are not a member of the currupt United Nations, we shall still condem this attrocity to all of humanity, all life on this planet. We are a nation of advancement too, yes, but when it comes to technological advancements for war we mainly concentrate for PROPER defensive purposes of our borders, and for the offense we develop technologies to PROTECT the occupant of the vehicle, or build better armor for foot soldiers, rather than sacrifice one life for a pathetic cause.

The USSNR can only say it is dissopinted in this new development of technology, whereas it should of been development of TORPEDO technology rather than BIOLOGICAL tehcnology. Inhumane, Improper, Careless, Selfish, Emotionless, all this is what we believe of this leader involved, and all this is what shall and forever will be called upon this leather less he cancel this act of attrocity towards life itself.

--Chief President Tigre Novar
-Leader of the United Socialist States of Nodea Rudav

You should see what they find in sharks after catching them. The amount of debris is phenominal.

Sharks. Not dolphins.

So a dolphin has less of it. Fish, anything that swims through the water picks up debris.

Sharks. Not dolphins.

In response to the position of Autonomous City-States, the government of The Armed Republic of the Santa Empiria has prepared the following statement:

"Fish is a fish is a fish. Mammals with flippers that swim in the ocean are fish, too. Except for Seals/Sea Lions. The government of ARSE has no formal position on those yet."

- Bureau of State, ARSE

The United Socialist States of Nodea Rudav and the beloved, patriotic people within are outraged with this idea of a "Dolphin Bomb." The person responsible is none-the-less a killer of species, human or animal, and should be comdemned for such a idiotic and stupid act of Technological Advancement for war.

Although we as a small nation are unable to use force with anything, and are not a member of the currupt United Nations, we shall still condem this attrocity to all of humanity, all life on this planet. We are a nation of advancement too, yes, but when it comes to technological advancements for war we mainly concentrate for PROPER defensive purposes of our borders, and for the offense we develop technologies to PROTECT the occupant of the vehicle, or build better armor for foot soldiers, rather than sacrifice one life for a pathetic cause.

The USSNR can only say it is dissopinted in this new development of technology, whereas it should of been development of TORPEDO technology rather than BIOLOGICAL tehcnology. Inhumane, Improper, Careless, Selfish, Emotionless, all this is what we believe of this leader involved, and all this is what shall and forever will be called upon this leather less he cancel this act of attrocity towards life itself.

--Chief President Tigre Novar
-Leader of the United Socialist States of Nodea Rudav

The government of ARSE has prepared the following statement:

"We notice that the government of the USSNR has reinstated the death penalty, and yet argues for the life of a lesser creature. In addition, the animals used in the DolphinBomb project are treated with the utmost care and the highest precaution. Their lives are quite extraordinarly lavish for a sea-dwelling creature. They just have one bad day. That's the day when, shall we say, they are put to use."

- Bureau of State, ARSE

The United Socialist States of Nodea Rudav and the beloved, patriotic people within are outraged with this idea of a "Dolphin Bomb." The person responsible is none-the-less a killer of species, human or animal, and should be comdemned for such a idiotic and stupid act of Technological Advancement for war.

Although we as a small nation are unable to use force with anything, and are not a member of the currupt United Nations, we shall still condem this attrocity to all of humanity, all life on this planet. We are a nation of advancement too, yes, but when it comes to technological advancements for war we mainly concentrate for PROPER defensive purposes of our borders, and for the offense we develop technologies to PROTECT the occupant of the vehicle, or build better armor for foot soldiers, rather than sacrifice one life for a pathetic cause.

The USSNR can only say it is dissopinted in this new development of technology, whereas it should of been development of TORPEDO technology rather than BIOLOGICAL tehcnology. Inhumane, Improper, Careless, Selfish, Emotionless, all this is what we believe of this leader involved, and all this is what shall and forever will be called upon this leather less he cancel this act of attrocity towards life itself.

--Chief President Tigre Novar
-Leader of the United Socialist States of Nodea Rudav

The government of ARSE has prepared the following statement:

"We notice that the government of the USSNR has reinstated the death penalty, and yet argues for the life of a lesser creature. In addition, the animals used in the DolphinBomb project are treated with the utmost care and the highest precaution. Their lives are quite extraordinarly lavish for a sea-dwelling creature. They just have one bad day. That's the day when, shall we say, they are put to use."

- Bureau of State, ARSE

LMFAO!!! Good find dude. Liberals I sware they do one thing, say another, whine about another, and claim another.

Dolphins are mammals, not sharks. Dolphins also do not ingest the sorts of things that bottom-dwelling and scavenger sharks will.

[[OOC: In the interest of full diclosure, I am a stone-nosed liberal and have been all my life. I am actually disgusted with the prospect of using any living thing in war, though I'm afraid my morbid sense of humor placed my beliefs on whimsy. Cheers!]]

Dolphins are mammals, not sharks. Dolphins also do not ingest the sorts of things that bottom-dwelling and scavenger sharks will.

They may be mammals but they still swim in the water and can't help in most of the times. Hell I don't know about your but airborne bacteria gets into my system by walking around as well as other stuff in the air if I am unlucky enough to get a jab of it.

Microscopic bacteria are not the same as shoes, engine parts, etc... apples and oranges, my friend.

The nation of the Armed Republic of the Santa Empiria has prepared the following statement:

"Technically, I think they're grapefruits and mangos."

- Bureau of State, Smart-Ass Division, ARSE

BTW, don't ever call me a liberal, buddy-boy. Made a mistake on that issue about death penalty and it came out the way I didn't want it, the way I thought it was going against.

Sorry if my ideals here are mistaken, I am trying to correct that situation to let it reflect SOME of my REAL-LIFE ideals, instead of ideals so far-stretched they crumble.

Do I expect to have a shoe in a dolphin no and I didn't say that either. I was using the shark as an example because its the most common. Dolphins are significantly smaller and would thus ingest something significantly small enough.

BTW, don't ever call me a liberal, buddy-boy. Made a mistake on that issue about death penalty and it came out the way I didn't want it, the way I thought it was going against.

Sorry if my ideals here are mistaken, I am trying to correct that situation to let it reflect SOME of my REAL-LIFE ideals, instead of ideals so far-stretched they crumble.

The United Socialist States of Nodea Rudav

Is this name correct?

BTW, don't ever call me a liberal, buddy-boy. Made a mistake on that issue about death penalty and it came out the way I didn't want it, the way I thought it was going against.

Sorry if my ideals here are mistaken, I am trying to correct that situation to let it reflect SOME of my REAL-LIFE ideals, instead of ideals so far-stretched they crumble.

[[OOC: Fair enough, fair enough. Just don't get too much in a fluster if my ideals crumble like the bits of cookie soiling my PJs. Uh oh, that might not be chocolate...

Hehehehe... Like I said, it's a morbid sense of humor that allowed me to start this up. And make the chocolate comment, as well. If you want a nation that embodies my REAL ideals, check out Librerra. It's just my dark, grizzly side that I show here on ARSE. Aptly named, no?]]

Time for bed I'll play later with Nodea Rudav

Hey, Hey, I ment no insult! Just sayin, askin', you don't place me in the CATAGORY as a Liberal. Made the USSNR as a nation of independence and socialsim, not as liberalism, no offense to who is, of course. Some liberals smarter than the average smart dude...or whatever.

Anywho, sorry if I insulted ya, didn't mean to, just blunt when I say stuff. :)

The Armed Republic of the Santa Empiria has prepared the following statement:

"As it is locally 4 am, the Supreme Allied Commander shall be off to take a nappy. He will respond to the various hate-mail and other cack-handed anti-liberal/anti-conservative/anti-moderate/anti-dolphin/pro-dolphin messages in due time."

- Bureau of Executive Affairs, Sleep-department, ARSE