NationStates Jolt Archive

[Slowly, the camera fades in to a static-y broadcast of a pirate television station. The reporter wears a black ski mask.]

Reporter: Tonight, the international community will learn of events that took place within the borders of The Doomsday Cult. I stand at the site of a massacre of refugees which took place at exactly 12:00 midnight on Christmas Eve, 2003. As many may be well aware, The Doomsday Cult does not recognize the holiday of Christmas, nor permit religious freedom among its citizens. For several years, this refugee camp known as God's Mercy has been the site of several rebellion meetings. However, tonight, tragedy struck.

[The reporter walks slowly, being careful not to be seen by the black-clad military which surely is still in the area.]

Reporter: These people sought--- and fought for--- religious freedom, and in the end became martyrs. Great Leader of the Doomsday Cult ordered the strike against this camp on the eve of one of the most sacred Christian holidays. The refugees awoke to the hissing sounds of nerve gas grenades being fired into their midst. Some fought back. Some were killed as they surrendered. Those that fled were shot in the backs. The entire messy affair was over in just under 20 minutes. As many as 150 refugees lie dead as I speak. We here at God's Hand Broadcasting seek to inform the international community of this atrocity committed in the name of Gozer.

[Suddenly, from off-camera, a sergeant in military gear levels a desert eagle to the head of the reporter.]

Reporter: You can't stifle the voices of the followers of the One True God! Gozer is blasphemy! Hail Jesus!

Sergeant: Shut up! This illegal broadcast is over!

[The sergeant kicks the camera to the ground. The overturned camera faces some bushes, as the shouting continues.]

Reporter: Great Leader, we won't be silenced! Religious freedom is the right of all men!

[A gunshot is fired off-camera, and the reporter's voice is no longer heard. The sergeant's boots appear in front of the camera. As he bends down, we fade to static.]

Although Blargistania is an aethist society, we still strongly believe in free rights for all, among them is the right to worship whichever god one should choose. It is, therefore, our duty to strongly condemn the actions of the Dommsday Cult in the highest international sense. Justice will eventually be brought, maybe not by us, but it will be brought someday.

We are saddened by your nations decesion to massacre religious belivers. We hope that this will be the only act of genocide by your nation.

[The camera fades in to a podium, as a small, wiry man steps up to it. The graphic identifies him has Vinz Clortho, Secretary of State for The Doomsday Cult.]

Clortho: Ladies and gentlemen of the international community, the time has come for an official press release from the office of Great Leader. As the Coming of Gozer nears us, we now find ourselves accused of horrific murder. As many of you are well aware, a pirate video broadcast was released tonight which claimed to be the site of a massacre instituted by our own government. Rest assured, that this is not the case. The terrorist fringe group, God's Mercy, was attacked tonight, but it was not by the Cultian government. Instead, this was an act of aggression by another terrorist group known as Children of Christ. These two groups of religious zealots have long been at each others' throats and it was only a matter of time before their disgusting acts of violence reached the international stage. Rest assured, that all members of God's Mercy as well as the Children of Christ are fugitives in our country, and we will spare no effort in ensuring the safety of our people. This attack only shows the true danger that these so-called "religious" fringe groups pose to our peace-loving Gozer Worshippers. Further developments through the day will be released through official channels. Thank you.

[Mr. Clortho steps down as we fade to black.]

Finally, you got rid of those punks! I've been tracking them for weeks now. They tried to assassinate me, and they blew up my house, no less. Good ridance to those wackos. Just cause I'm a demon doesn't make me evil.

Just cause I'm a demon doesn't make me evil.

And vice-versa. :twisted:

Yeah, a bunch of wannabe "goths" call themselves evil but aren't actually demons. Want a people burger? National specialty! All kinds of species, thanks to our diversity. Comes with little "I ate..." badges for each person in your burger. You should try the Jangle Deluxe-Demon, Dragon, Siren, Human, and all other fun things, like Mindflayer!

Yeah, a bunch of wannabe "goths" call themselves evil but aren't actually demons. Want a people burger? National specialty! All kinds of species, thanks to our diversity. Comes with little "I ate..." badges for each person in your burger. You should try the Jangle Deluxe-Demon, Dragon, Siren, Human, and all other fun things, like Mindflayer!

Mmm... fillet-o-Mindflayer.... ::drools uncontrollably::

We'll send our gusy to set up over there, if you want. It helps with economy, hiding dead bodies, etc. And it's such good business, we pay for kids to get the burger of thier choice once in thier life, for free. It's a kind of Rite of Passage. You'll also find that it's very good for you. But, if it's not healthy enough (and it IS very healthy), you can always order "lean"

Anyway, lets kill some more of them sometime. They shot my sister. She's ok though. Comes from a good line of demons.

Rest assured that these Christian terrorists will be rounded up within the next 24 hours. Do not believe their false claims that they are innocent refugees or martyrs of free speech.