NationStates Jolt Archive

This just in. The Dictator's dog, Fideleccimichelargo, has been taken hostage. Masked men (around 10-15 of them) broke into Fideleccimichelargo's luxurious mansion about 3 and a half minutes ago. The hostagees have not been identified. We need help.

Does anyone have any information? Who are the men who are taking this poor dog hostage? :?: :?: :?: :?: 8)

If Rebeland wishes, Shinrita will send some agents from the R.I.O. (Royal Investigation Organization) to assist your nation in the search.


OOC: Check your telegrams.

STANDARDIZED IDIOT REPLY FORM (NS Edition, 1.1.2.0.0.3)
Created by: Kazaakisthan
Edited by: Padmasa and The Monolith Builders
Filled out by: The Monolith Builders
Directed at: Rebeland

Congratulations Rebeland! You have been chosen to receive the SIRF, because of some really stupid thing you posted. Please, read the following lines. After reading these lines, take the advice shown. If you are incapable of taking the advice shown because you:
Cannot read
Are quadriplegic
Have fewer than 5 braincells
Cannot count to 5
Or other problems.
Please simply refrain from posting. Ever again.

Thank you for your time. You are a(n): (check all that apply)
[ ] Clueless N00b
[ ] Lamer
[ ] Flamer
[ ] Loser
[ ] Spammer
[ ] Troll
[ ] Warez Monkey
[ ] Me too'er
[ ] Pervert
[ ] Freak
[ ] Nerd
[ ] Racist
[ ] Rules Lawyer
[ ] Fanatic
[ ] Satanist
[ ] Homo
[ ] Twit
[ ] Bully
[ ] Waste of Skin
[ ] Crybaby
[ ] "Expert"
[ ] Unbearably self-righteous person
[ ] Rabid chipmunk
[ ] Person who obviously cannot type, but has been trained to respond to certain characters displayed on a monitor
[ ] christian Zealot
[ ] Ultra Conservative
[ ] More Liberal than Marx
[ ] Idiot
[X] Unbelievably Uninteresting Person

Your post was: (check all that apply)
[ ] A flame
[ ] A waste of bandwidth
[ ] Lame
[X] Stupid
[ ] Abusive
[ ] Clueless
[X] Idiotic
[ ] Arrogant
[ ] Malevolent
[ ] Contemptible
[ ] Libelous
[ ] Ignorant
[ ] Fanatical
[X] Boring
[ ] Dim
[ ] Cowardly
[ ] Deceitful
[ ] Demented
[ ] Self-righteous
[ ] Crazy
[ ] Weird
[ ] Hypocritical
[ ] Loathsome
[ ] Satanic
[ ] Despicable
[ ] Belligerent
[ ] Mind-numbing
[ ] Maladroit
[ ] Much longer than any thought of which you are capable
[ ] A possible cause of several Suicides
[ ] A quote from the Bible with one or two original lines added
[ ] Justification for Euthinasia
[ ] The reason Mods were created
[X] Several poorly thought out ideas that were put in a blender 2 years to long
[ ] A bad copy of someone else's ideas
[ ] Irrelevant
[ ] Irrelevant to the point that assassination has be considered
[ ] Irrelevant, like the fact that your genetalia have been put through a meat grinder
[ ] A crime against nature
[ ] A sin against God
[ ] A sin against Normack
[ ] A crime against humanity


Your attention is drawn to the fact that: (check all that apply)
[ ] You posted what should have been e-mailed or private-messaged
[ ] You self-righteously impose your racial beliefs on others
[ ] You self-righteously impose your political beliefs on others
[ ] You self-righteously impose your general beliefs on others
[X] You posted something totally uninteresting
[ ] You flamed the Standardized Idiot Reply Form
[ ] I don't like your tone of voice
[ ] What you posted has been done before ten million times
[ ] Not only that, it was also done better the last time
[ ] You bumped an aged topic which should not have been
[ ] You obviously don't know anything about the topic at hand
[ ] You started a long, stupid thread
[ ] You continued spreading a long, stupid thread
[ ] Your post is absurdly off topic for where you posted it
[ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
[ ] You posted low-IQ trolley
[ ] You posted a blatantly obvious troll
[ ] You said "me too" to something
[ ] You made no sense
[ ] You must have spent your life in a cardboard box to be this clueless
[ ] You posted in t3h 7331z0rz to look k00wL
[ ] You posted a message in ALL CAPS
[ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of the Internet
[ ] You are a loser
[ ] This has been pointed out to you before
[ ] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally worthless that you are being flamed on general principles
[ ] Your military caused our men to die from laughing too much/too hard
[ ] Your military is completely and exactly based off of a book/video game
[ ] You did not use smilies where called for
[ ] You drastically over-used smilies
[ ] Your postcount consists entierly of this topic and your Bumps of this topic
[ ] You either can't type or you type so fast your computer cannot recognise the key touches because you have melted them off their recievers

It is recommended that you: (check all that apply)
[ ] Get a clue
[ ] Get a life
[ ] Go away
[ ] Grow up
[ ] Never post again
[ ] Have your medicine adjusted, if you don't have medicine, get some.
[ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
[ ] Find a volcano and throw yourself in
[ ] Actually post something relevant
[ ] Read the Stickies
[ ] Consume excrement
[ ] Consume excrement and thus expire
[ ] Refrain from posting until you have a vague idea of what you are doing
[ ] Report to your local insane Asylum
[ ] Give your computer away and never attempt to use one again
[ ] Drink several bottles of Nyquil and report directly to Hell
[ ] Remove any means of reproduction you currently possess and slay any offspring you have.
[ ] Go outside (It's the place with the plants, a lack of walls, and a bright yellow ball in the air)
[ ] Try arming your troops with something better than OR AT LEAST equal to pointy sticks and rocks
[ ] Get an imangination and some originality
[ ] Lay off the emoteicons
[ ] Try pressing the Preview button
[ ] Invest in a spelling/grammar checker
[ ] Get your caps lock button fixed
[X] Read a few good books to get possibly interesting ideas

In closing, I'd like to say: (check all that apply)
[ ] You need to seek psychiatric help
[ ] Take your gibberish somewhere else
[X] *plonk*
[ ] I hate you
[ ] Most of the above
[ ] All of the above
[ ] Some of the above, not including All of the above
[ ] You are so clueless that I didn't even bother filling in this form
[ ] You should find a time machine, go back to the date of your birth, and kill yourself

Have a wonderful eve, and, please fulfill the marked recommendations.

<OOC: Good piece of spam there. :roll: Seems you've forgotten that this is free-form roleplay.>

IC: The dog is in the custody of Shelbville-occupied Springfield. Pay us one billion racoons or the dog will be eaten by a mob of slack-jawed yokels.

-Foreign Affairs Dude

Slack-jawed yokels? That's harsh. My elite animal control suadron will be there in as much time as it takes to drive a dog-laden rickshaw to your country. In the meantime, I offer a healthy supply of Wheaties boxes with a picture of a dung beetle on the front.

Slack-jawed yokels? That's harsh. My elite animal control suadron will be there in as much time as it takes to drive a dog-laden rickshaw to your country. In the meantime, I offer a healthy supply of Wheaties boxes with a picture of a dung beetle on the front.

Wheaties were outlawed many moons ago. So were dung beetles. Too many people were trying to get high off them.

-Foreign Affairs Dude

In that case, I offer a healthy supply of Energizer bunnies with pictures of a homeless guy taped to them.

Eastern ireland sends in 10 FBI agents yo help in this sad time for Rebeland.

we will be deploying the First Batallion Airbourne Transvestites to assist in the siege after the hostage takers are located.

OOC: Monolith Builders,

Your friend Padmasa 'grammed me, to clear a few things up, I did not make it I just use it a lot. Also there was no need to use it here. This is just free form roleplay.

IC: We are appaled by this act of blatent Anti-Dogism and has called to the attention our OAP's tea-morning group. We will send them round with there hand bags and if anything is found to indicate the whereabouts of the Anti-Dogists, they will dispatch and hit the terrorists.

If Rebeland wishes, Shinrita will send some agents from the R.I.O. (Royal Investigation Organization) to assist your nation in the search.


OOC: Check your telegrams.

According to Reagani intelligence, these "RIO" agents were the very people responsible for kidnapping, and sadly, according to reports, eating your dog. i urge you to evict these terrible people out of your wonderful nation as soon as possible, less more terrible happenings befall your nation. Beware of the name Shinrita, as nothing good can come out of it.

At your request, Rebeland, Reagani elite SEALS would be happy to aid in the eviction of these Shinritan investigatatory agents (read terrorists).

In response to The Monolith Builders, thank you for your humerous form. However your insults are rather inconsistent. If my post is "uninteresting" then why did you read it? If my post was "idiotic" why would a goddard such as yourself take time away from your busy schedule to read it? That was irresponsible, because you took 5 minutes to type up that form, you took five minutes away from your search for a cure for cancer! My god man! It was a quip, the point of the post was to be humerous! You are the one calling me a moron.
OOC: Because big words are so hard to understand: Quip means a wise remark, a clever statement, a humerous remark.
P.S. Let me know when you are nominated for the nobel prize Einstein!

We have gotten word that terrorists within Shelbyville-occupied Springfiled has eaten your dog. What would you like to be done to them? :lol:

Considering the ostracization that I received for dealing with terrorists last time, I will have these dog-eating, draconian, barbaric, fools tried in an international court. Everyone will have a say as to what their punishment will be.

Oh Rebeland. We as a nation are mourning the loss of your beloved canine. Please accept our shipment of 5 tonnes of glitter. It is our wish that it will go some way to ease the suffering of your people. We had a similar incident a few years ago with the President's gerbil. It was a dark time for all of us. But happiness returned, as it will to you. Never underestimate the power of glitter.

We thank you for your support and your....eccentric gift.

This just in. This benevolent, loved canine is having a nation-wide funeral service this afternoon. If anyone wishes to attend, simply state so. More on this story as it develops...

The cat of our dear President was injured yesterday. We know what pain you must be feeling now.

But, hey, dog is good! :wink:

That was a joke, of course.

yes, we are still mourning.

Kleptocratopia will be in attendance of your dog's funeral.

thank you once more.

We have furnished a solid gold coffin for the dog's burial.

May He Rest In Piece...

I'm so sorry about the dog. :cry: This is why you need decoy dogs.
OOC: The Monolith Builders, please don't spam.

Eastern ireland's Emperor Ken Casey will gladly attend the funeral