21-12-2003, 18:59
Citing Japan's continued discrimination against foreign residents, I hereby proclaim the establishment of the Principality of Giordano within the boundaries of my 4x10 meter apartment near Namba Station in Osaka City.
The Principality of Giordano (hereafter referred to as Giordano) shall exist as a haven for oppressed foreign residents of Japan. All foreigners falsely accused by Osaka Police of bicycle theft more than 5 times in one week shall be granted automatic Giordanian citizenship upon request. All foreigners rendered homeless because of discriminatory renting practices will be eligible for automatic citizenship and settlement grants from the Ministry of Absorbtion and Naturalisation, provided that such grants are used in the approved settlement areas (i.e. my sofa, and my closet). All foreigners continually referred to by the names of American movie stars or stared at by old ladies on the train shall be granted permanent resident status and the option of naturalisation after a period of 2-3 hours. Bring your own beer.
Japanese nationals may become citizens of Giordano only if they meet the following conditions: a) they stop showing surprise at foreigners' use of chopsticks, b) they don't freeze up and halt their conversation when a foreigner enter Starbucks, and c) they don't say to their children "Hey, look! It's a foreigner! Ha ha!"
Giordano will be defended by a standing army of two men, and to prevent air attacks we have collected an assortment of Hello Kitty dolls to act as human shields, knowing well that no Japanese government will approve their destruction.
The Principality of Giordano (hereafter referred to as Giordano) shall exist as a haven for oppressed foreign residents of Japan. All foreigners falsely accused by Osaka Police of bicycle theft more than 5 times in one week shall be granted automatic Giordanian citizenship upon request. All foreigners rendered homeless because of discriminatory renting practices will be eligible for automatic citizenship and settlement grants from the Ministry of Absorbtion and Naturalisation, provided that such grants are used in the approved settlement areas (i.e. my sofa, and my closet). All foreigners continually referred to by the names of American movie stars or stared at by old ladies on the train shall be granted permanent resident status and the option of naturalisation after a period of 2-3 hours. Bring your own beer.
Japanese nationals may become citizens of Giordano only if they meet the following conditions: a) they stop showing surprise at foreigners' use of chopsticks, b) they don't freeze up and halt their conversation when a foreigner enter Starbucks, and c) they don't say to their children "Hey, look! It's a foreigner! Ha ha!"
Giordano will be defended by a standing army of two men, and to prevent air attacks we have collected an assortment of Hello Kitty dolls to act as human shields, knowing well that no Japanese government will approve their destruction.