NationStates Jolt Archive

Hippopotamus' skins are very tough and on average 1 1/2inches thick. They can weigh up to two tons, and are the second most dangerous animal in the world, second only to the homeless. The Holy Empire Of PowerDude is currently selling Chrono-Hippos, equipped with teleportation belt and pointed sticks for only $200,000 (U.S.) apiece.

Additional Accesories:
Genetic Modification(you decide what) $50,000
Nuke-Proof Armor $160,000
Lazar Eyesight (TM) $99,000
Rocket Launcher $ 30,000

Custom Accesories are available, but extremely highly priced.

I'll take 20 with rocket launchers, "Lazar Eyesight" and Nuke Proof Armor, though I don't know what armor would prevent a massive explosion causing a hippo to fly into the air and impact a skyscraper.

Your Recipt


Hippos with belt+sticks $4000000.00
Rocker launcher bone-graft $600000.00
Nuke-Proof Armor $3200000.00
Lazar (C) eye implants $1980000.00
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Total $9780000.oo


The hippos' skin, while tough, does disintegrate completely under the force of a nuclear blast. The nuclear armor itself is left unharmed, besides a light soiling of Hippo-Ash (nutritious and delicious, btw). The Nuke armor advantage comes from the fact that it can be used by any indigenous wildlife in need of shelter after the blast.