Situation Involving Free Range Chickens, The Melissa, etc.
Free Range Chickens
06-12-2003, 05:13
The Ministry of Information issued the following report on Thursday, December 4:
"The Ministry of Information has learned that several stolen 'suitcase' nuclear devices from Free Range Chickens have been deployed in civilian areas in two nations with which Free Range Chickens has been attempting to negotiate peace agreements.
"While the extent of damage, death and injury cannot be precisely determined, it appears quite massive. Below are the reports of nuclear deployment that have been established to have occurred.
“At 10:31 PM (GMT), several nuclear devices detonated simultaneously in densely populated and frequented areas in the capital city of The Melissa. Locations of the blasts include the downtown shopping district, the financial district, and each of the terminals of the international airport.
“At 10:42 PM (GMT) several nuclear devices detonated simultaneously in the downtown business district of the capital of Queen Jenny. The devices were located in crowded subway tunnels and the bases of several large skyscrapers that were occupied at the time.
“The ‘suitcase’ nuclear weapons in question were apparently stolen from the Free Range Chickens Central Nuclear Storage Facility by individuals wishing to disrupt the Prince’s offer of a permanent settlement with The Melissa and Queen Jenny. This settlement was to avoid a disastrous, unnecessary war. The Prince has issued a categorical condemnation of this terrorist attack, saying, ‘This barbaric act is truly a crime against humanity... We will attempt to help overcome this great tragedy.’
“The weapons deployed were apparently smuggled into the attacked nations by passenger air transport. It appears that the terrorists were extremists from The Melissa and Queen Jenny who wanted to force their respective governments into massive war with Free Range Chickens. The terrorists are believed to have traveled with the bombs from Free Range Chickens to The Melissa and Queen Jenny via the national airlines of various nations in the West Pacific that have regularly scheduled service to all three countries.
“While the bombs’ blasts were negligible in force in comparison to the many large bombs from the Free Range Chickens arsenal that were not stolen, they guarantee to cause great destruction when carefully placed and detonated in a densely populated area, as was done today. They also carry great health risk due to the high levels of radiation released to those in the affected area. Exact figures about the damage will be released when the Ministry of Information obtains the necessary data.”
UPDATE:
"Since the last release by the Ministry of Information, Prince Nikolai IV has informed Queen Jenny and The Melissa that he would not want to press demands on a nation that is recovering from a massive terrorist strike. Accordingly, he has withdrawn all demands upon the attacked nations and all associated declarations or threats of war against. Because these attacks will drain the humanitarian resources in all of the Libertarian Alliance region, the Prince has similarly withdrawn all threats and declarations previously made toward all Libertarian Alliance states. Humanitarian forces from the Free Range Chickens would be happy to offer their support for the rescue and reconstruction efforts in the attacked nations once it becomes clear what the extent of the damage is and how these forces can be of assistance."
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OOC: All statements about terrorist strikes are to be taken as actual occurrances. The statements about FRC non-responsibility for the attacks and blame on extremeists of Queen Jenny and Melissa are propaganda statements by the Free Range Chickens Ministry of Information.
Free Range Chickens
06-12-2003, 05:22
The Ministry of Information received this from The Marsupials after the Ministry sent the notice about the terrorist attacks against The Melissa and Queen Jenny.
"That's nice. Our well-armed populace yawns loudly and proceeds to blow up anything you send into our country.
"Sorry, but when every man, woman, and child in our country owns weapons, and knows how to use them, and is freer than in any country in the world, you simply don't stand a chance. We don't have an army, and don't need one; our whole *country* is an army when it comes to defense.
"But, do whatever you'd like.
"Pouch-Brother Wombat
The Marsupial Confederation"
OOC: Because Free Range Chickens has not sent anything or anybody into The Marsupials, this telegram is considered a threat. Certainly, we would consider it to be a genuine act if The Marsupials indicated that it was engaging in action against Free Range Chickens itself. The above telegram, however, states that they blow up what we send into their country. It is, therefore, premised upon some kind of invasion of The Marsupials by Free Range Chickens. As no actual invasion has taken place as of yet, the statement of action by The Marsupials cannot logically occur.
In short, you cannot blow up that in your country which we haven't sent. Thus, the telegram is meaningless as an act of war.
If there is, however, any actual combat performed by The Marsupials against free Range Chickens in the near future, we will take note of it and act accordingly.
The Melissa
06-12-2003, 18:44
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OOC:
As references, I am using a CNS reference report on suitcase nukes to determine the capabilities of same and a UCSD report on nuclear effects to determine damage.
http://cns.miis.edu/pubs/week/020923.htm
http://www-igcc.ucsd.edu/cprograms/IGERTpdfs/stledger.pdf
Since these suitcase nukes were in actual suitcases and not van-delivered, I assume that they are on the low end of the scale (0.1 yield).
Also, readers should note that I already established greatly heightened national security in all strategic and highly populous area. I posted about this in our regional discussion forum.
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IC:
This cowardly resort to terrorism by our self-declared enemy has left our nation shocked, saddened, and stirred to action.
We are pleased to be able to report that the damage is nowhere near as massive as the attacker's propaganda machine wishes the world to believe. But we are distraught to be forced to report that the terrorist government of Free Range Chickens has succeeded in causing devastation.
Some time ago, the Principality of Free Range Chickens declared war on The Melissa. This act was unprovoked. Free Range Chickens then asserted that they would refrain from attacking us if we ceded territory and free citizens to them and their reeducation camps. This threat is what they refer to as "peace negotiations." When we did not give in to their thuglike behavior, they resorted to this sneak attack.
The terrorists at the international airport were quickly detected and intercepted. Because of the threats made by the would-be conquerors, those who did not consent to having their luggage searched were viewed with suspicion. As soon as the terrorists placed and walked away from the bombs, the luggage was declared abandoned and dismantled by our numerous bomb teams.
A similar scenario was played out in the district where several of our large financial companies locate their headquarters. These large companies hired private security promptly upon the issuance of the threat, and the abandoned suitcase was dismantled in short order.
Most of the perpetrators were captured and are being held in our custody. The attacker lies when he claims that these terrorists are nationals of The Melissa and our close ally Queen Jenny. In fact they are nationals of Free Range Chickens. These international terrorists are being held for questioning under tight security.
Because The Melissa does not have zoning laws, we do not have a shopping district. What the terrorists call the downtown shopping district refers to their strike against the Mall of the Melissa, a huge mall just outside our capital city.
We regret to announce that this strike was successful.
The Mall of the Melissa has been destroyed. Of the three thousand employees and shoppers present in the mall and close by outside, 2800 were killed and the rest were badly injured and left ill with radiation sickness.
In the surrounding area, the blast indirectly affected those up to 500
meters away from the detonation. Between 100 and 500 more deaths can be expected. Fallout problems have required that an area in a radius of 1000 meters be declared temporarily uninhabitable, and we have strongly urged citizens to maintain a 3000-meter distance if at all possible.
We are proud to note that the citizens of The Melissa have pulled together to help their friends and neighbors survive this dreadful event. Surviviors within a 2000-meter range are being decontaminated, with the closest victims having priority, by all local hospitals. Volunteers have posted themselves to warn travellers if they stray too close to the hot area. Other volunteers are offering food and shelter to those forced to leave their homes. Enrollment in the military and in civilian NBC responder programs is at an all-time high.
The Melissa will not tolerate this disgusting and cowardly sneak attack. We will never give in to the demands of the terrorists. We will respond with all our might, to crush the attackers and leave them unable to perpetrate further atrocities. We call on all our allies in Libertarian Alliance, and on other freedom-loving people everywhere, to join us in our fight against this would-be conqueror who would strip us of our freedom, our safety, and our very lives.
Melissa, Regina
The Queendom of The Melissa
The Melissa
06-12-2003, 18:45
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OOC: The Melissa has already established the existence of its armed space shuttles, in discussion in our regional forum.
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IC:
In response to the disgusting and cowardly acts of terrorism perpetrated by the followers of the dictator Nikolai, The Melissa has mobilized its considerable resources for a massive strike.
Last night, as soon as word of the attacks was received, we mobilized our army, navy, and air force. We also began preparations to launch our space force. At 11:02 this morning, we launched a massive air strike against the capital city of Free Range Chickens.
We are targeting all government buildings and all known residences and haunts of the dictator Nikolai. A full 400 cruise missiles have been launched. They will reach their targets this afternoon, and are expected to devastate the city.
Our navy is also on its way to the coast of Free Range Chickens. It is expected to reach its destination tomorrow. Our ground force is mobilized and prepared to move in for cleanup. Our space force will begin launch tomorrow and be completely launched by the day after.
National security has been greatly heightened. Our people are more
security-conscious than ever, which is saying a good deal. Most of our citizenry has switched to the use of transparent plastic briefcases, purses, etc. in order to go about their business while demonstrating that they have no terrorist weapons about their persons. Our law enforcment is highly alert for any further terrorist strikes by the gangster government of Nikolai and his supporters.
Although this attack was perpetrated by the dictator Nikolai and not by the ordinary citizens under his thrall, collateral damage to civilians is unavoidable in a military operation of this nature. We encourage the Chickens to throw off their yokes and embrace freedom. Nikolai can only control you if you let him. Cease to obey his vile commands, and The Melissa need have no quarrel with you.
Melissa, Regina
The Queendom of The Melissa
Free Range Chickens
06-12-2003, 21:06
The following is from the Ministry of War:
"The Government of Free Range Chickens discovered this morning that several nuclear large bombs in its arsenal had been missing, although nobody had taken note of the records indicating their disappearance until now. Free Range Chickens now believes that its entire nuclear arsenal may now be in the hands of terrorist thieves in the Pacific and elsewhere. If this is correct, then it is likely that terrorists like those that attacked Queen Jenny and The Melissa may have had nuclear weapons ready to be used all over the world. The Ministries of War and Justice are investigating this serious matter, which has proven to be a threat to global security for a second time.
"At approximately 3:00 PM (GMT), it was learned that several of these nuclear weapons had been deployed by The Melissa's and Queen Jenny's domestic terrorists in their respective countries. In their capitals and large provincial cities, many vans and trucks that held the nuclear bombs stolen from Free Range Chickens exploded in major residential and industrial centers that were extremely crowded at the time.
"It appears that the terrorists, aware of heightened security since the last wave of nuclear attacks, chose to deploy larger stolen bombs and do so in the form of suicide attacks just outside the security checkpoints of the targets. Because the bombs were quite a bit more massive than the previous suicase bombs, they appear to have caused greater destruction despite being less centrally located."
The following is from the Ministry of Information:
"The Ministry of Information has just learned that the Ministry of Justice has received a message from the Popular Front for the Destruction of Free Range Chickens. In it, they indicated that they are nationals of The Melissa who have determined it necessary to, "Create a situation where our government massacres all your filthy people." The message refers to sister terrorist organizations elsewhere in Queen Jenny, The Melissa, and the Libertarian Alliance region.
"The Ministry of Justice has indicted these terrorist organizations for Aggravated Theft of the the Principality's Military Systems, a crime that carries the penalty of death. Furthermore, Prince Nikolai IV has requested that Libertarian Alliance nations withdraw their military onslaught against Free Range Chickens and help find these terrorists."
The following is from the Ministry of Emergency Management:
"Late this morning and early this afternoon, the Free Range Chickens capital city of Ramona experienced a devastating military strike from the air force of The Melissa. Bombs fell and detonated on government buildings and residential skyscrapers throughout the city.
"The government buildings in which people were murdered by The Melissa include postal offices, schools, and the administrative offices of every one of the Prince's ministries. Also targeted and destroyed were several large residential buildings, some of which contained the Prince's penthouses.
"The known death toll is as follows:
1497 postal employees were killed.
4934 young students were killed.
3452 non-policy-making employees of Government ministries were killed.
1 Policy-Maker, the Minister of Housing, was killed.
3245 residents of the targeted high-rise residential buildings were killed.
"These numbers are expected to rise somewhat as rescue operations reveal a greater number of casualties. The number injured is estimated to be at least ten times the number killed.
"The aggressors asked to cease and desist for the sake of humanitarian relief operations. By bombing virtually every government building, they have targeted many civilians who were merely providing or receiving social services of some kind. Most of the infrastructure of Free Range Chickens is designed for this purpose, and destruction of it will only harm innocent civilians.
"At the time of the attacks, Prince Nikolai IV and most of his policy-makers were in various secure, undisclosed locations. They are currently looking for ways to provide similar havens of safety to the civilians who are apparently the targets of the massacre by The Melissa."
The Melissa
07-12-2003, 01:44
If you wish us to cease retaliation, you must cease attacking us. It is precisely that simple. We will never give in to your demands to cede territory and turn our free people over to you against their wills.
The international community should be aware that Nikolai's propaganda machine is lying when he claims that schools were targeted. No schools were targeted. The figures on child deaths are thus *highly* suspect.
If Free Range Chickens wishes to end the war it has started, it must comply with the following conditions:
1.) Immediately and permanently cease all acts of aggression against The Melissa, its citizens, its territories, and its allies.
2.) Take responsibility for the terrorist acts commited by its agents, most of whom are now in our custody.
There is no question about your responsibility for the despicable acts of terrorism committed by Free Range Chickens. Free Range Chickens declared war without provocation, Free Range Chickens issued threats to use force if we did not cede lands and people to them, and Free Range Chickens specifically threatened us with the use of nuclear weapons. The telegrams containing all of these declarations and threats have been published around the world. Furthermore, most of the Free Range Chickens nationals who committed the acts of terrorism are now in our custody and are know to be nationals of Free Range Chickens.
Nonetheless, although your guilt is already well-established, you must take formal responsibility for your acts of terrorism as part of a pledge to perform no further acts of terrorism or any other acts of war or aggression.
Our military remains deployed, but has made no further strikes as of 6:45 PM this evening.
Petro Pocketbib
Minister of War for The Melissa
At exactly 8:05 pm this evening, elements of the XIII and XIX armor divisions of the Grossamerikanes Reich supported by massive air strikes hit several periphreal outposts of Free Range Chickens.
Shortly thereafter, Prussia and Pomerania and Alpha Koprulu, other members of the Three Emperors' League, simultaneously attacked Free Range Chickens outposts in a coordinated manuever as of 8:15 pm.
The GAR's foreign minister declared that he has sworn to defend the sanctity of Alpha Koprulu's sovereign borders from foreign invasion and come to the aid of the other nations of the Libertarian Alliance.
As of 8:20 pm, GAR nuclear warheads have been placed on standby and Special Forces units have attempted to detonate a small nuclear warhead in the capital of Free Range Chickens, the result of said mission unknown.
Mr. Noviomagnus, the Diplomatic Chairman of the Three Emperors' League, gave a rousing speech in the capital city of Alpha Koprulu today, which has been unjustly attacked, closing with the final statement, "The enemy shall be defeated. Victory shall be ours."
News communique. Grossamerikanes Reich Ministry of Truth, as of 8:30pm.
Note: ALPHA KOPRULU prepares for war.
Today, the Federation of Alpha Koprulu has declared mobilization and a full state of war between itself and Free Range Chickens. In full support of the motion made today by the Three Emperors' League, two Koprulian army groups, totalling half a million soldiers, launched attacks along the Western Border of Free Range Chickens. Armored forces have been instructued to punch deep into the center of the enemy line and to bring the war to a quick conclusion.
In addition, tactical nukes were dropped all along Free Range Chickens' defensive lines and cities.
The intolerable death of citizens of fellow Libertarian Alliance nations, at the hands of insidious terrorist forces, will not go unavenged. Security has been tightening along all major cities and three of the bridges along the River Moltke, on the border between Alpha Koprulu and Free Range Chickens, have been set to explode upon command.
The President of the Federation has ordered that no order to surrender is to be taken as genuine, and that the brave military is to take not one step back in punishing the invader.
As of 8:40, twenty minutes after the Three Emperors' League's first offensive, one Koprulian soldier has been killed by a sniper.
As of 8:40 pm, a follow-up strike from the GAR's Battlecruiser-Flagship Poseidon occured, with 256 Defender A-Class Cruise missiles being launched against government buildings in the capital of Free Range Chickens. The Senate building and other administrative centers were targeted as well as various military installations near the capital.
In addition, several missiles with biochemical-tipped warheads were launched against major resources caches against Free Range Chickens from various sites within the GAR and also within Alpha Koprulu. The Three Emperors' League's Expeditionary Forces have been ordered to continue the push to take the major cities of Free Range Chickens and to find and to arrest the dictator Nikolai for his preemptive war. Total troop strength of the Three Emperors' League within the Principality of Free Range Chickens now numbers several army groups and support units.
The Pomeranian War Minister is as of now inactive, though Prussia and Pomerania is likewise expected to contribute several mechanized divisions and air units to the attack against Free Range Chickens.
Soldiers of the Three Emperors' League are not to surrender, but to continue fighting until victory arises in a new bright morning, glorious day.
Long live the Emperor!
Grossamerikanes Reich Military Communique,
8:45 pm on the 6th of December, 2003
The president of Gurning has declared a state of emergency following the cowardly nuclear attack on The Melissa and Queen Jenny by Free Range Chickens.
Gurning's military and reservists are being mobilised.
The president has decided not to use NBC weapons at this time.
Prussia and Pomerania officially joins in the offensive. While lacking a strong standing army, the air forces of Prussia and Pomerania are dedicated to throwing a grippling air war around the space of The Principality of Free Range Chickens to depose the dictator and restore peace. Echoing the sentiments of our fellow Emperors, we shall fight until victory is ours and the invader has been utterly destroyed.
Our Emperor currently announces that no nuclear weapons will be used, though they will all be placed on standby in case of first strike from the Principality of Free Range Chickens.
Gurning has completed preparations.
Early intelligence reports indicate that given Free Range Chicken's population size and much larger military, Gurning will be unable to pursue conventional methods of warfare.
The president of Gurning has directed his military to seize control of Free Range Chickens off shore oil rigs to disrupt the enemies fuel supplies, to use computer hackers to end communications within the enemies borders and has authorised the use of special forces to destroy key infrastructure behind enemy lines.
The president has decided that these token measures are enough to satisfy our obligations to our allies at this time.
The Melissa
07-12-2003, 20:24
The Melissa remains in shock from these vile terrorist attacks perpetrated by Free Range Chickens. We are heartened to see our friends and allies in Alpha Koprulu, Grossamerikanes Reich, Gurning, and Prussia and Pomerania joining us in the fight against these international thugs.
Our nation has been devastated by the latest terrorist attacks. The death toll is unknown, but in the thousands. These tragedies will not be absorbed meekly; the brutal dictator Nikolai and his followers must either have their fangs pulled or be removed from power entirely. The terrorists will not be permitted to continue terrorizing innocent and peaceful people.
Our nation remains strong, courageous, and undaunted. Since our economy is powerful and decentralized, these attacks on our larger cities have failed to destroy our resources. And since our government is both small and decentralized, these attacks on our capital city have failed to devastate it.
However, we deeply regret to announce that Mr. Zippy Toodleroo, Deputy Minister of War for The Melissa, is among the missing and presumed dead. Mr. Toodleroo, ever loyal and dedicated and brave, was personally examining the security in Melcove's largest casinos when a Free Range Chickens van exploded and took out an entire city block. Mr. Toodleroo will be sorely missed, as will the thousands of other victims of the dictator Nikolai.
Our heart goes out to the devastated people of Queen Jenny, who have also been subjected to these brutal and pointless terrorist attacks. Our hopes and prayers are with them as they struggle to rebuild. We call on all our allies who have not themselves been attacked to volunteer humanitarian aid to the beleaguered people of Queen Jenny.
We urge our people and the people of Queen Jenny to take heart. The terrorists in Free Range Chickens cannot have an unlimited supply of portable nuclear weapons, and must be reeling from the devastating retaliation wrought by our staunch allies. Soon the dictator Nikolai will be rendered unable to wreak further havoc. We allies of freedom did not start this war, but we will finish it.
Melissa, Regina
The Queendom of The Melissa
The Melissa
07-12-2003, 20:43
At 11:40 this morning, I received word that our navy is in place off the coast of Free Range Chickens. They are constantly shifting position, and monitoring the waters to thwart any escape attempts by the dictator Nikolai.
Our air force, which is invisible to normal radar, crisscrosses the skies over Free Range Chickens. The people of Free Range Chickens are hereby warned that any flight attempting to leave the air space of Free Range Chickens will be regarded as either another terrorist attack or an escape attempt by the dictator, and will be treated accordingly.
Our space force is also in place.
As our allies have chosen to use nuclear and biochemical weapons against the terrorists, we will not be sending ground troops into the capital at this time. It seems superfluous at this point, since the Free Range Chickens capital must be uninhabitable and the dictator -- if he lives -- is surely afraid to leave his NBC-proofed huddling place.
Our ground troops are being fitted for Tyvek-F NBC suits. Within 72 hours, our troops will comb what's left of the Free Range Chickens capital in order to find Nikolai's hiding place and rip him from it. He will face international justice.
Petro Pocketbib
Minister of War for The Melissa
The president of Gurning after reviewing events has decided to begin peace talks with Free Range Chickens.
Though Free Range Chickens began this sorry affair with a terrorist strike, the president feels that the retaliation meted out has been disproportionate to the crime.
Our military is being withdrawn.
As a result any peace agreement reached will be separate to the warring parties and Gurning will not, unless directly attacked by Free Range Chickens, continue hostilities.
The Melissa
08-12-2003, 00:27
Does the president of Gurning realize that Free Range Chickens has continued to make terrorist strikes of increasing intensity after the initial (relatively mild) retaliation? That Free Range Chickens has killed thousands upon thousands of people, and has rendered The Melissa's capital city uninhabitable with repeated nuclear strikes? And that Free Range Chickens has continued to attack Queen Jenny, which has never retaliated against Free Range Chickens at all?
Aspi Attleboro
Deputy Minister of War for The Melissa
The Melissa
08-12-2003, 00:27
Does the president of Gurning realize that Free Range Chickens has continued to make terrorist strikes of increasing intensity after the initial (relatively mild) retaliation? That Free Range Chickens has killed thousands upon thousands of people, and has rendered The Melissa's capital city uninhabitable with repeated nuclear strikes? And that Free Range Chickens has continued to attack Queen Jenny, which has never retaliated against Free Range Chickens at all?
Aspi Attleboro
Deputy Minister of War for The Melissa
The president of Gurning acknowledges that The Melissa has acted in restraint. The casualties inflicted by her were roughly equivalent to the nuclear attack.
However while we see the victims acting with restraint, we also note the massive NBC attacks performed by their allies on civilian targets.
The president of Gurning presumes that the only reason that the Queen Jenny has not retaliated is that she and her administration died within the attack. Gurning will send military advisors to the queendom to bring some of her advanced weaponry back to Gurning to prevent it falling into her enemy’s hands.
In the meantime Gurnings negotiations will continue with Free Range Chickens.
The Melissa
08-12-2003, 01:55
We, too, fear greatly for the safety of our sister Queen Jenny as well as weeping for her people. Had we the resources to spare at this time, we would gladly send humanitarian aid.
Melissa, Regina
The Queendom of The Melissa
Queen Jenny
08-12-2003, 21:45
The Queen is dead, long live the Queen.
This morning, Jenny XXXII was crowned Queen by a nation still mourning her mother, Jenny XXXI. The late Queen was cutting a ribbon at the re-opening ceremony for the Royal Antique Market, which has just completed extensively refurbishment by the Antique Merchants association, when the Chickens' bombs went off. The collapse of the triumphant Entry Arch crushed the late Queen and her consort, the Geographer Royal, and destroyed hundreds of family-owned boutiques. Unfortunately, since a large crowd had gathered for the event, casualties were very high. The final toll has not yet been determined.
The citizens of Queen Jenny are very angry indeed, and the militia's ground troops are advancing towards the Chickens' capitol as we speak. The new Queen has implored the nation's corporations to hold off on use of retaliatory missiles until she has has a chance to confer with her libertarian fellow-leaders. Queen Jenny XXXII is outraged at any suggestion that weaponry missing from the Chickens' armouries could possibly be attributed to any of her citizens, or indeed, that anyone but the Chickens themselves could be at fault for this situation. Her Majesty also wishes it to be known that the humanitarian forces from the Free Range Chickens can stick their offers of rescue and reconstruction assistance right in their bottoms.
We are greatly saddened to learn of the senseless death of our esteemed colleague Mr. Toodleroo from The Melissa, and offer our condolences to another nation in mourning.
Long live the Queen!
Grand Vizier Bartholomew Cubbins,
The Constitutional Monarchy of Queen Jenny
Free Range Chickens
09-12-2003, 00:37
The people of Free Range Chickens have been devastated by the decision of various nations to massacre our innocent people rather than admit to a problem of domestic terrorism. The results of the attempt to destroy Free Range Chickens are as follows:
The relentless cruise bombings by The Melissa have killed 23,634 civilians, including 9,756 students. It is unknown whether The Melissa intentionally targeted schools or whether they did not read the map of the capital city of Ramona and see that the many of their targeted government buildings were clearly labeled as “Ministry of Education Operations Center.” Whether it was malice or negligence, the government of The Melissa has committed a great crime. The people of Free Range Chickens also mourn the deaths of 8,279 troops at the hands of The Melissa.
As destructive as the cruise bombings were, the nuclear bombing of Ramona has gutted a previously vibrant city and killed tens of thousands from blast and radiation. Furthermore, the blast killed HRH Prince Nikolai’s only son, Prince Andreus. Andreus refused prior demands that he remove himself to a secure location, stating that he felt the need to face the great demon that was being brought upon Ramona. He died at age 23 in his house in the suburbs of Ramona. The Prime Minister, Gustavus Nork, has been designated as Acting Heir to the Throne.
The biochemical weapons launched against Free Range Chickens have devastated provincial population centers. Tens of thousands of working class people have been killed by the biochemical agents, and hundreds of thousands are in critical condition. There has been such a constant flow of severely injured and ill people into the hospitals that hospitals cannot copy and must turn most away to die on the streets.
No details about Prince Nikolai can be released other than that he is secure and horrified by this humanitarian crisis. He released a brief statement: “The attacking nations have chosen to ignore their domestic reality in favor of destruction of our people. We must condemn all terrorists and have sympathy for the Libertarian Alliance nations as they recover from the acts of the terrorists from within their own borders. We are, however, aware that history will record the government of the invading nations as great criminals against the justice and peace of the people of Free Range Chickens.”
Albert Valencia
Personal Secretary to Prince Nikolai IV
Free Range Chickens
09-12-2003, 00:41
Free Range Chickens offers its condolences to the people of Queen Jenny as they mourn the loss of their Queen. We hope that Queen Jenny aggressively prosecutes and executes its domestic terrorists who murdered their monarch and fellow citizens.
Albert Valencia
Personal Secretary to Prince Nikolai IV
The Melissa
09-12-2003, 15:22
With no word from Free Range Chickens in more than 48 hours, we are provisionally assuming that its leadership is dead or in hiding.
Our paratroopers have been fitted with NBC suits, and are prepared to descend into Ramona this afternoon. We expect to find massive devastation, with any survivors both injured and sick.
All our medically trained citizens, from internationally renowned surgeons to army field medics to summer lifeguards, are currently needed at home to deal with the devastation wrought by Free Range Chickens in our capital city and other large cities. However, most of our soldiers have had some training in field combat medicine. They have been instructed to give such aid and comfort as they can to any survivors found in Ramona.
Their primary mission, though, is to find the dictator Nikolai or to verify his death. They will comb the city from the center outwards, seeking both above-ground and underground bunkers.
All our troops have The Melissa's insignia emblazoned prominently on their NBC suits, so as to be easily identifiable by the militia of Queen Jenny.
Petro Pocketbib
Minister of War for The Melissa
The Melissa
09-12-2003, 15:24
With the new communique from Free Range Chickens, The Melissa has altered its plan. Our paratroopers are now on standby. We will consult with our allies to determine the best plan.
Petro Pocketbib
Minister of War for The Melissa
The Melissa
09-12-2003, 15:28
We are devastated and distraught to learn of the death of our beloved sister, the late Queen Jenny XXXI. Rest assured that we in The Melissa will assist you in your efforts for justice. If need be, we will comb every inch of Free Range Chickens until the dictator Nikolai is found and held to account for his crimes.
Melissa, Regina
The Queendom of The Melissa
Free Range Chickens
10-12-2003, 09:24
The following statement by Nikolai IV was completed at 6:00 AM (GMT) on December 10, 2003 and sealed until its public release two hours later:
"My loyal subjects,
"These recent days have been the most trying for the people of Free Range Chickens. We have been subject to the greatest of slander, humiliation, and violence imaginable. We have endured some of the worst crimes against humanity by invading forces.
"You have vested in me your allegiance and trust to govern, serve and protect as your sovereign. This is an honor that I have taken seriously. Through their endurance and resolve during this brutal assault, the people of Free Range Chickens have proven that they are deserving of nothing less than the best of leadership.
"Until now, our government has achieved the very best possible for the people of Free Range Chickens under all circumstances. Circumstances now, however, threaten that ability. Faced with the blood lust of invading forces, the survival of myself and my advisors have required accepting an offer of secure residence outside the borders of our great nation.
"I am, therefore, confronted with the options to hopelessly attempt to lead in exile, allow my government to be slaughtered and fail in its responsibility to serve you, or enter exile and allow someone else to take over the most sacred of responsibilities. I have decided that for the sake of you, the great people of Free Range Chickens, I must allow someone else to lead you through the rest.
"I, therefore, shall abdicate my throne within the hour. As the present heir to the throne, Gustavus Nork shall be coronated as Prince Gustavus II at the secure, undisclosed location where I make this statement. May he lead the Principality of Free Range Chickens into a new era of greatness."
Nikolai IV abdicated his throne at 6:30 AM (GMT). At that time, a small coronation was held for Gustavus Nork, who is now Prince Gustavus II of Free Range Chickens. At approximately 8:00 AM (GMT), Nikolai arrived at his undisclosed place of exile outside Free Range Chickens.
The only public remarks by Prince Gustavus II following his coronation were a call by all national governments to cease all hostile acts immediately and work to recover from the massive damage done to Free Range Chickens, The Melissa, and Queen Jenny. He has also signed a royal decree for an investigation of the terrorist strikes against Queen Jenny and The Melissa to account for the significant discrepancy between claims by those nations and what governmental records reflect.
The Melissa
10-12-2003, 14:27
We suspect this of being a ploy on the dictator's part. As our navy guards the coast of Free Range Chickens, and several countries' air forces are watching its airspace, escape would have been difficult.
It is of course possible that he escaped our net, and our intelligence operatives are investigating that possibility. However, we think it is likely that Nikolai is in hiding somewhere within the borders of Free Range Chickens.
No matter where he is hiding, we will find him. He will be brought to justice for his massive crimes against the people of Queen Jenny and The Melissa.
Petro Pocketbib
Minister of War for The Melissa
GNN news item:
Peace declared between Gurning and Free Range Chickens!
The ministry of defence in a statement broadcast earlier announces the cessation of hostilities with Free Range Chickens and a peace treaty signed with the new administration.
GNN news item:
Ex Monarch seen at tourist host spot!
Gurning's world class casinos had an unexpected tourist in the form of Nikolai IV, the ex ruler of Free Range Chickens, at the Blackjack tables. Our reporter was quickly hustled away by 'security' after laughing at the abidicated kings terrible card playing skills.
GNN news item:
$1.6 billion 'found' in treasury desk!
The minster of finance was unable to comment on reports that a large sum of money magically appearing in his office. An unofficial source reports that it was probably found at the end of a rainbow and encourages the public to find their own pots of gold.
The Melissa
11-12-2003, 16:13
The people of The Melissa are incensed to learn that this war criminal and mass murderer is prancing around casinos while his victims lie in hospitals or graves. We call upon all moral people to demand that the Butcher of Melton be taken into custody and tried for his crimes.
Whiplash Bubblechunks
Foreign Minister for The Melissa
Free Range Chickens
11-12-2003, 17:27
Gurning has set an excellent example for its region by reaching a peace agreement that is in the interests of both nations. Prince Gustavus II is eager to reach a peace treaty with each member of the Libertarian Alliance. Additional war will only be highly destructive to all involved.
Francisco Pinochet
Foreign Minister of Free Range Chickens
The Melissa
11-12-2003, 20:38
Will this peace treaty involve an immediate and permanent cessation of your attacks on us and our allies? Will it contain an admission of your responsibility for the attacks already made?
Her Majesty is willing to negotiate with your new leader. However, she warns that she will accept no treaty without an admission of responsibility for the attacks. If your nation continues to lie that it is not the perpetrator, we would of course be unable to trust any promise to cease attacking us.
Whiplash Bubblechunks
Foreign Minister for The Melissa
Free Range Chickens
11-12-2003, 22:54
The investigation report submitted to the Prince with regard to the terrorist attacks on The Melissa has failed to prove the alleged connection between FRC policy makers and the terrorists who struck The Melissa and Queen Jenny.
As for the concerns of The Melissa that accepting their allegations as fact is the only means by which they can feel secure, there are three main points of reply:
1. In the absence of overwhelming evidence in support of your allegations, admission of claims against the government of FRC made under duress will only lead to a delusion that there do not exist dangerous terrorists that we cannot affect.
2. Pursuant to our peace treaty with Gurning, most of the weapons of the sort used against The Melissa and Queen Jenny have been transferred to Gurning and are no longer at our disposal. Thus, even if your allegations were true, all points about a possible continuing threat are moot.
3. Several of the invading nations clearly targeted civilians and used weapons designed solely to terrorize our civilian population. The vast majority of those killed were civilians and the vast majority of infrastructure targeted was that of a civilian nature. Therefore, the invading nations are guilty of war crimes above and beyond what The Melissa claims against Free Range Chickens. Your last telegram is, therefore, a piece of utter hypocrisy at the very least.
For these reasons, we must insist that negotiations begin immediately and use the peace agreement reached with Gurning as a model for what should be achieved. We ask Gurning to inform and persuade its allies as to the benefits of such a treaty.
Francisco Pinochet
Foreign Minister of Free Range Chickens
The Melissa
13-12-2003, 14:12
With regards to your first point, we in fact *do* have overwhelming evidence of guilt. With regards to your second, we are not happy to learn that "most" of your weapons constituted part of the bribe when we know that you could make more in mere weeks. And as for the third, it was neither us nor our allies who instituted the use of weapons of mass destruction. It was Free Range Chickens, under the leadership of the dictator Nikolai.
We are quite certain that you are already aware of all these things. Your refusal to acknowledge Nikolai's obvious guilt hints that you support his actions, which in turn implies that you may repeat them.
Whiplash Bubblechunks
Foreign Minister for The Melissa
The Melissa
13-12-2003, 15:36
With regards to your first point, we in fact *do* have overwhelming evidence of guilt. With regards to your second, we are not happy to learn that "most" of your weapons constituted part of the bribe when we know that you could make more in mere weeks. And as for the third, it was neither us nor our allies who instituted the use of weapons of mass destruction. It was Free Range Chickens, under the leadership of the dictator Nikolai.
We are quite certain that you are already aware of all these things. Your refusal to acknowledge Nikolai's obvious guilt hints that you support his actions, which in turn implies that you may repeat them.
Whiplash Bubblechunks
Foreign Minister for The Melissa
The Melissa
13-12-2003, 15:56
MELCOVE, THE MELISSA (TMNN) -- DEAD POOLS AREN'T ASSASSINATION POOLS, BUT SOME SAY THEY MIGHT AS WELL BE.
A hot new trend is sweeping the world-famous casinos of The Melissa. As they rebuild after the attacks by the Butcher, many are now offering a new gaming option to their clientele. The most popular option for gambling is to pick a date in one of several Nikolai Dead Pools.
Each NDP works more or less the same. The client chooses a date and wagers that Nikolai the Butcher will die on that date. If Nikolai does die on the selected date, the client will collect the entire pot.
Anyone can place a bet in these pools. Natives of The Melissa have been wagering large sums, but sizeable wagers have also been received from citizens of Queen Jenny (also devastated by the Butcher) and from residents of other countries which condemn Nikolai's actions. Casinos accept bets by telephone and over the Internet as well as in person.
Some assert that dead pools are immoral, since the largest ones provide incentive to kill the target. Those who place large wagers may be doing so with a plan to attempt to kill the target, while those who place smaller wagers may be doing so to encourage such attempts without planning them themselves.
Casino owner Chatly Channing emphasized that the pool is merely a wager. "You're not trying to make him die on that day. You're just placing a bet that maybe he will."
Nonetheless, the large number and high stakes of these pools have led several insurance actuaries to predict that it is unlikely Nikolai will survive the next six months unless he gives himself up to secure custody.
Yundo Ristibibble, a man on the street, expressed the view that this is not a bad thing. "That man killed so many thousands of people, and now he's having a vacation as his punishment. How immoral can it be to take out a monster like that?"
Dead pools, like other forms of gambling, are legal in The Melissa.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Kiwi Karpal, reporter for The Melissa News Network.
Following a review in policy, Gurning has executed Nikolai IV for war crimes at 1800 GMT and his body has been cremated. His ashes are for sale.
The president will send a member of staff to collect the funds from The Melissa's dead pool.
Integration of military hardware from Free Range Chickens and Queen Jenny has been completed.
A demonstration of our new abilities will occur shortly.
The Melissa
13-12-2003, 20:15
The Melissa did not realize that Gurning had been successful in obtaining some of Queen Jenny's weaponry. We would appreciate a report on what armament has changed hands.
Petro Pocketbib
Minister of War for The Melissa
The Melissa
13-12-2003, 20:23
We are pleased to know that the war criminal has been executed, and are certain that he was given a fair (though perhaps hasty) trial first. We are confident that the casino will be happy to pay, as soon as the betting stub and proof of death are produced.
We are also curious to see what sort of capabilities the government of Gurning intends to demonstrate.
Our nation remains alert, as we are not entirely certain that we trust Gustavus not to repeat the crimes of his predecessor. His refusal even to acknowledge these crimes does not fill us with confidence. Our troops therefore remain deployed for the nonce, although no further strikes are planned at this time.
We are willing to begin peace negotiations, and will open by querying what sort of reparations Free Range Chickens offers for the devastation wrought at its previous leader's command.
Melissa, Regina
The Queendom of The Melissa
Free Range Chickens
13-12-2003, 23:51
From the Ministry of Justice:
"The Principality of Free Range Chickens is most outraged by Gurning's summary execution of our former leader. They abrogated their treaty of peace with Free Range Chickens when they made the decision to execute him based solely on a 'review' of policy and denied him due process for crimes that he did not commit and that were not judicially actionable under and agreement that Gurning signed.
"Prince Gustavus II ordered an investigation, which had resulted in several indictments against various world leaders who are responsible for the death of both Nikolai and civilians in Free Range Chickens. The indictments have been filed in the Free Range Chickens Criminal Court for the Ramona District.
"The leaders of Gurning have been indicted for Premeditated Murder for their execution of Nikolai, as well as Conspiracy to Commit Murder for their conspiracy on Melissan markets to profit from the death of Nikolai. They have also been indicted for Felonious Breach of Contract for their murderous violation of the treaty that was made between Gurning and Free Range Chickens and irrevocably made the law of both nations.
"Leaders of Grossamerikanes Reich have been indicted for War Crimes and Crimes Against Humanity for their admitted, reckless use of nuclear, biological and chemical weapons.
"The Queen of The Melissa has been indicted for conspiracy to commit murder as a result of her apparent involvement in the international conspiracy to kill Nikolai. The leaders of the government and military have also been indicted for War Crimes for their targeting of the civilians in Free Range Chickens. They are also indicted for Conspiracy to Commit Crimes Against Humanity as a result of the fact that Grossamerikanes Reich's crimes were committed as part of The Melissa's conspiracy to commit crimes against the people of Free Range Chickens."
From the Foreign Ministry:
"The nations of the Libertarian Alliance have demonstrated their deceit through their continued commission of the crimes for which the Ministry of Justice has obtained indictments. Accordingly, all offers of negotiations and peace must be withdrawn at this time.
"The response by The Melissa to our last telegram only shows that The Melissa cannot believe anything but its simplistic narrative. They have failed to prove their claims that Nikolai was reponsible for the terrorist attacks committed within their borders, and consider their repetition of claims to be evidence.
"The Melissa's denial of reality is evidenced by its statement, '... it was neither us nor our allies who instituted the use of weapons of mass destruction.' Is The Melissa unaware that it targeted civilians and conspired with Grossamerikanes Reich to successfully deploy NBC weapons against our people?
"We are also disturbed that The Melissa considers the current Prince's demand for evidence of The Melissa's claims to be proof that he must be a terrorist. Perhaps it is not surprising that The Melissa considers its claims to have been proven without more than a claim when it regards summary executions as justice.
"Prince Gustavus II has issued the following demands:
"1. Gurning and The Melissa must apologize for their murder of Nikolai and deliver all indicted criminals to stand trial in Ramona.
"2. Gurning and The Melissa must surrender all ill-gotten gains associated with the death of Nikolai, including all payments made under the Gurning-Free Range Chickens Peace Treaty that Gurning violated.
"3. The ashes of Nikolai must be delivered to Free Range Chickens at once, and Gurning must apologize for its cremation of Nikolai against his wishes and beliefs.
"These demands are not negotiable."
The Melissa
14-12-2003, 00:34
We have already provided ample evidence of Nikolai's guilt. Nikolai declared war, Nikolai demanded that we cede land to him, Nikolai specifically threatened to use weapons of mass destruction, and Nikolai knew about attempted attacks as well as about those attacks of his which actually succeeded. The terrorists who were captured are all known to be Free Range Chickens nationals, and most of them confessed voluntarily and readily. Unless you have some evidence to present which might contest this overwhelming evidence of guilt, we will listen to no more disingenous protestations of innocence.
We have not indicted anyone, much less executed anyone. The terrorists are being held pending resolution of the international conflict.
The Melissa has made no profit from having been attacked or from defending itself, and in fact has suffered considerable losses both in lives and in money.
The Melissa does not have possession of these ashes of Nikolai's body. The only ashes Her Majesty possesses are the ones in her ashtray, to which you are quite welcome if you desire them. She will be happy to send them along; however, she will not bother to filter out the butts first.
Your demands are absurd.
We grow tired of this. We have exercised tremendous restraint in retaliating against your former leader's attacks on us. We will do so no longer.
If you ever again attack The Melissa or any of its allies, you will pay.
Whiplash Bubblechunks
Foreign Minister for The Melissa
Free Range Chickens
14-12-2003, 00:56
From the Ministry of War:
"The Ministry of War has learned that many conventional and nuclear suicide bombings have taken place in Gurning.
"The conventional suicide bombings deployed ordinary explosives in approximately 97 crowded restraurants, 23 crowded nightclubs, and 12 stores that were crowded with holiday shoppers. The counts on the number of dead and injured in these attacks remain to be seen. All of these bombings took place simultaneously at 23:45 GMT.
"The several nuclear bombs used in the suicide attacks vary in size, but range from devices stored in suitcases to those in large trucks. All of these attacks occurred exactly 60 seconds after the conventional suicide bombings described above. The sites of known attacks are as follows:
The international airport of Gurning's capital city
The downtown area of Gurning's capital city
Five university campuses in Gurning
Gurning's Legislature
"Free Range Chickens condemns these attacks by unknown terrorists."
Free Range Chickens
14-12-2003, 01:16
Free Range Chickens
14-12-2003, 01:17
PRESS RELEASE
From the Ministry of Education:
The Ministry of Education is pleased to announce that it has all its Operations Centers functioning again after the utter destruction caused by the criminal attacks by various nations.
The Ministry of Education has granted permission to a researcher from the University of Ramona to run the elementary and secondary education system for an indefinite period of time. The purpose of this is to test a hypothesis that about a newly discovered form of communication and violent behavior. The Ministry of Information has also granted requests to conduct the experiment on the general television-watching public through complete control of broascasting by the University researchers.
The researcher is attempting to show that certain methods of propaganda by the national government can possibly cause nearly all citizens to seek complete destruction of foreign nations about which they are informed. In a recent survey of the general population, 97.9% had seen the broadcats and credibly stated that they, "Would rather die in a violent rage against various foreign nations recently mentioned in the news than live with knowledge that they exist." The study also shows many of these individuals taking concrete steps to act upon these feelings.
This ongoing study provides a fascinating examination into the study of communication, and the Ministry of Education is proud to be participating in such fascinating research. Many studies have been done before about propaganda and manipulation, but this study is expected to establish more than any other.
The Melissa
14-12-2003, 15:19
The Melissa grieves with Gurning as it becomes the latest target of the terrorists. We call on other members of our alliance to volunteer all humanitarian aid needed to help the suffering, the wounded, and the dispossessed.
Melissa, Regina
The Queendom of The Melissa
The Melissa
14-12-2003, 17:22
MELCOVE, THE MELISSA (TMNN) -- NEW RADIO STATION SEEKS TO FREE FREE RANGE CHICKENS
The Association of Broadcast Media has announced the creation of a new radio channel, Radio Free Range Chickens. It is funded by the Association and broadcast by satellite, reaching all areas of Free Range Chickens as well as many areas of neighboring countries.
The new channel provides residents of Free Range Chickens with more accurate information about recent happenings. It has begun by broadcasting the telegrams sent by the leadership of FRC and interviews with the captured terrorists who describe their humane captivity and their discoveries that propaganda about The Melissa has proven inaccurate. The next major broadcast will be a thorough description of the unprovoked attack on the Mall of The Melissa, describing the brutal carnage and the reasons why it is known to be an action of Free Range Chickens' government.
The station also broadcasts music, sports coverage, etc. in order to make the show more entertaining. It double-broadcasts via shortwave as well as on standard FM, and is also broadcasting over the Internet. The station can thus be received virtually anywhere, although its FM reach is focused on Free Range Chickens.
The ABM's broadcast satellites are currently under the protection of The Melissa's government's armed space shuttles.
The ABM's member companies have lost personnel and equipment to the attacks by Free Range Chickens.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Toga Tuttle, reporter for The Melissa News Network
The Melissa
14-12-2003, 17:23
MELCOVE, THE MELISSA (TMNN) -- NEW TELEVISION STATION BRINGS LIGHT TO FREE RANGE CHICKENS
The Association of Broadcast Media has announced the creation of a new television channel, Television Free Range Chickens. The ABM has jammed the signal of one of the FRC government's propaganda channels and proceeded to broadcast its own content. Content thus far has been similar to that of Radio Free Range Chickens, focusing on providing the truth about recent events.
The station also broadcasts classic shows and comedies in order to be more entertaining. It is also broadcast over the Internet, and thus can be received virtually anywhere.
The ABM's broadcast satellites are currently under the protection of The Melissa's government's armed space shuttles.
The ABM's member companies have lost personnel and equipment to the attacks by Free Range Chickens.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Toga Tuttle, reporter for The Melissa News Network
Free Range Chickens
14-12-2003, 18:24
From the Ministry of Education:
"The Ministry of Education is most upset that a foreign nation is attempting to interfere with a groundbreaking research project. In any case, the attempts by The Melissa have proven ineffective due to their use of traditional methods of broadcast and information. In fact, their failure to sway public opinion has only provided additional evidence that the highly complex method of communication by our researchers cannot be overcome through presently known methods of communication. The Melissa is apparently unaware of what the hypothesis is about what makes truly perfect propaganda, and the near impossibility that appears to exist in reversing it in special test subjects.
"To protect the research project against additional interference, all Internet service providers in FRC have blocked all Melissan web sites. Furthermore, the public has been informed and convinced through our offices and those of the Ministry of Education that all Melissan broadcasts are libelous attempts to destroy the people of Free Range Chickens through deception and imperialism."
From the Ministry of War:
"Because of an abrogation by the Libertarian Alliance of all existing peace treaties and hostile acts of The Melissa, Free Range Chickens has been left with no choice but to take severe action to defend itself.
"In choosing a course of action, Ministers considered the relative absence of remaining tactical nuclear weapons that Free Range Chickens would use to cause destruction only to military targets. We also considered that the Libertarian Alliance employs an anti-missile system that is quite capable of detecting incoming attacks. After extensive research, we determined that any low-scale launch of missiles would sure be detected and brought down. Accordingly, we decided that an overwhelming, simultaneous launch of missiles was necessary.
"Free Range Chickens did, therefore, launch 10,000 intercontinental ballistic missiles equipped with several one megaton nuclear warheads at Gurning and The Melissa. The launch was initiated from various locations at 17:00 GMT. The result of said attack is unknown as of yet, but it is expected to cause massive destruction to Gurning and The Melissa. The "early warning" system of Libertarian Alliance most surely did detect the coming missiles, but the fact that so many missiles were launched meant that accurate interception of more than a few missiles would be impossible.
"The defense system of the Libertarian Alliance is clearly not equipped to be capable of intercepting a mass number of intercontinental ballistic missiles as it can intercept one or two stealth bombers or cruise missiles. It is well known that destruction of an ICBM is quite a bit more difficult than destruction of a conventional missile or aircraft. Furthermore, Libertarian Alliance's system responds to sneak attacks, while we launched an overwhelming attack that greatly exceeds the ability of any nation to destroy such massive numbers of ICBMs that were accompanied by effective decoys to further overwhelm any defense system.
"The ICBMs launched are indeed a significant portion of the FRC nuclear arsenal, but by no means near a majority of it. We stand capable of launching similar attacks if it again proves necessary.
"We are not pleased with our need to launch such a massive attack, but will do as we must to protect the people of Free Range Chickens. We have credible evidence that the leaders of the attacked nations were part of a conspiracy to cause additional harm and suffering to our civilian population. Our response was the only method by which we could defend ourselves."
The Global Market
14-12-2003, 20:19
In response to the use, by Free Range Chickens, of tactical nuclear warheads, the Global Market has placed its own sizeable strategic nuclear arsenal on standby ready to turn Free Range Chickens into glass should further nuclear operations occur.
In addition, journalists from the Global Market's leading media outlet, Liberty Network, have reported on Free Range Chickens' domestic and international atrocities to all nations of the world.
LibertyNet reports that Free Range Chickens' wartime operations have spread excess quantities of death, desolation, and tyranny, and that the Principality of Free Range Chickens is aggressor in this war.
As of now, no official report has been made of any diplomatic status of the Global Market, though two of its four constituent Republics have already mobilized their reserve forces.
NEWS BRIEF:
Novistrania, outskirts of Free Range Chickens...
Soldiers of the Three Emperors' League have successfully taken the fourth largest city in Free Range Chickens after a brief siege.
Shocked by the deployment of 10,000 nuclear ICBMs by Free Range Chickens (OOC: That's more than enough to blow the world into space dust), Prussia and Pomerania has launched 25% of its own substantial nuclear arsenal at the remaining areas still held by the Principality of Free Range Chickens. The damage is expected to be substantial, hopefully with the death of the current head of state Prince Gustavs II.
The GAR's foreign minister has apparently been killed during routine diplomatic activity in Gurning, and our ally Alpha Koprulu's leadership likewise has an unknown status.
Undeterred, the Archduke has announced his intention to continue fighting until Free Range Chickens have been utterly and completely defeated. We are heartened that the Global Market, with its famously strong strategic and counterstrategic forces, has joined in the fight for liberty.
As of 2:35 today, the XXII Airborne Division has already landed troops in the western part of Free Range Chickens with the mission objective of finding and dismantling any remaining hidden nuclear weapons.
While our allies may agree to diplomatic proceddings, the Three Emperors' League is unwilling to mediate at this time due to the shocking and apparently suicidal use of strategic weapons by the Principality.
Mr. Gunther Kreisau, the spokesperson for the League, has demanded that The Principality of Free Range Chickens pay for any and all costs of war, and also that the Principality cede the mineral-rich northernmost strip of its land to be partitioned among the members of the Three Emperors' League.
The League plans also to send some financial reconstruction assisstance to the Melissa, Queen Jenny, et al.
Free Range Chickens
14-12-2003, 21:34
The last words of Prince Gustavus II of Free Range Chickens:
"As the head of state of Free Range Chickens, I am supposed to receive and approve all proposals for significant policy changes with mass implications for Free Range Chickens. My ministers have failed to consult me in their implementation of extreme propaganda techniques and bringing mass nuclear destruction to Gurning and The Melissa.
"I have fired all my ministers and ordered them to be indicted for crimes against humanity. I apologize to Gurning and The Melissa for the destruction brought upon them. It appears that so many nuclear missiles were launched based on the accurate expectation that many would fail due to occasional malfunction and enemy success into intercepting some missiles, and this appears to have been the case and seems to have prevented nuclear winter. Nevertheless, the damage brought upon The Melissa and Gurning will most definitely be quite extreme. I cannot apologize enough for the crime against humanity that my ministers brought through their recklessness.
"I understand that my apologies will not be enough. This occurred on my watch and I am ultimately responsible. I have concluded that I cannot be trusted to lead or even live. I am, therefore, issuing an unconditional surrender at this time. I shall commit suicide shortly. My successor may be chosen by Parliament according to an agreement that it shall make with the invading forces following their receipt of our surrender.
"May humanity survive this horrifying day."
PRINCE GUSTAVUS II HAS COMMITTED SUICIDE. FREE RANGE CHICKENS HAS, ACCORDING TO HIS LAST WISHES, SURRENDERED UNCONDITIONALLY. WE ASK FOR MERCY BY OUR OCCUPIERS AND A BENEVOLENT OCCUPATION WHILE WE ATTEMPT TO REACH A LASTING PEACE FOLLOWING THIS HORRIFYING WAR.
Free Range Chickens
15-12-2003, 01:13
Message from the Anonymous Chairman of the Coalition of the Few:
"The Coalition of the Few was an organization of individuals who resolved to isolate themselves from all media once we learned that the Ministry of Education was launching its mass propaganda 'experiment' to create an army of terrorists. We are a very small minority of the population in FRC, and it is only in the wake of the death of the Prince and the outbreak of utter chaos that we felt it remotely safe to go public with the existence of our group. Even at this time, we cannot reveal the names of our leaders.
"We stand prepared to assist the invading forces as they enter Ramona and install a new government in FRC. We have one simple request for the survival of Free Range Chickens: Do not bomb the University of Ramona. Inside the university, we have learned, are all documents related to the propaganda methods and the possible methods for reversal. Invading forces must capture these records as soon as possible. We suspect that they are located in the lowest basement level of the Center for Communications Studies, where FRC academics keep their most sensitive records safe from natural and unnatural forces.
"Please land at the Center for Communications Studies at the University of Ramona and raid the building. This should be done first. Please be aware that wherever you go, people will be hostile and violent. This is why you must preserve and seize the necessary information to pacify the population."
The Global Market
15-12-2003, 01:15
The Global Market wishes to extend friendship and reasonably benevolent peace terms to Free Range Chickens, and we advise the members of Libertarian Alliance and the Three Emperors' League to do the same.
We condemn the Three Emperors' League for its hasty actions and unfair demands towards Free Range Chickens. While we hold that Free Range Chickens is wholly responsible for the war, we merely believe that it should pay reparations for the costs incurred by all nations, and not to cede any of its land to the victorious allied forces.
Our strategic arsenal has been removed from standby. Peace is restored.
"Peace, commerce, and honest friendship with all nations -- entangling alliances with none."
--Thomas Jefferson / Also the Global Market's foreign policy motto
The Global Market
15-12-2003, 01:22
A heavily encrypted message has been sent from Major General Anders Shelton, leader of the Global Market's Special Forces Units, to the Chairman of the Coalition of the Few:
"The Global Market is willing to assist in peacekeeping operations. As such, we are prepared to deploy a 16-man elite special forces team under the command of Lt. Kira Sienar, the first female commander of a special forces unit and also well-decorated from the Limbo Wars last May. Lt. Sienar has declared that she is willing to accept the mission.
Armed with the lastest technology, Lt. Sienar plans to quickly raid the University's communication center at night, dispatch any security guards by nonlethal methods or lethal if absolutely necessary, and be airlifted out of Ramona as soon as possible. Once they are safe at a forward journalist station, they will broadcast the necessary documents to the populace of Free Range Chickens.
As commander of the mission, Lt. Sienar has a great deal of leeway in timing and other specifics. As such we are unable to ascertain the exact moment of the raid, though we expect it to be some time tonight."
The Global Market
15-12-2003, 01:23
Free Range Chickens
15-12-2003, 05:03
From the Chairman of the Coalition of the Few:
"The leaders of the Coalition of the Few have met in response to our receipt of a message from The Global Market. We are pleased to see that The Global Market wishes to act in a constructive and responsible manner. The consensus within our organization with regard to the occupation and reconstruction is as follows:
"First of all, as it is our understanding that the propaganda methods used by the government used complex methods of subliminal communication, using the process to reverse the damage done can have many ethical implications. We ask that the method be used only to withdraw any perceived need to feel hate or use violence. We ask that Free Range Chickens not be brainwashed into believing any particular ideology. In order to ensure our objectivity in observing the effects of all deprogramming, we ask that members of the Coalition of the Few not be subjected to any of the deprogramming that is broadcast to the general population.
"We have agreed that The Global Market should be in charge of the occupation force. While we are in no position to make any demands, this is our recommendation. The Global Market has proven its commitment to being responsible and merciful.
"For obvious reasons, we ask that Gurning and Prussia and Pomerania not be part of the occupying force. They should be consulted about decisions about post-war policy, but we feel that they cannot be trusted to follow The Global Market's example. We welcome any other nations that can credibly commit themselves to the efforts and goals of The Global Market.
"Until the people of Free Range Chickens can be deprogrammed, we ask that we be considered the sole representative body of the people of Free Range Chickens. We do ask that the parliament be reestablished once people are capable of understanding reality and thinking for themselves again.
"As far as reparations payments, we understand that the occupying forces expect some form of compensation for the crimes of our previous leaders. One of our members is a former secretary to Nikolai and went into hiding out of fear of being "disappeared" by Nikolai in the days prior to Nikolai's abdication. (Nikolai had ordered him killed because he knew all of hiding places and was a security risk from Nikolai's perspective.) On his way out, he stole a list of Nikolai's secret Swiss bank account numbers. We estimate that the accounts contain tens of billions of PdP and believe that it is most appropriate for all compensation to come from the assets of the late Prince."
Broadcast from the presidential fallout shelter:
Our population has been decimated. Our military with the exception of one facility is in disarray. Fortunately this facility contains Gurnings best and last remaining weapon made up of the cream of Gurning, Free Range Chickens and Queen Jennys technology. It is an EMP machine based on Nikolai Teslas research that can stop any electrical appliance, circuit or machinery from working in a geographical area.
We intend to send Free Range Chickens back to the dark ages.
We demand that after the weapon being fired and with Free Range Chickens unable to do anything of military significance, that it is broken up into smaller territorial areas and fully disarmed.
Bye bye Chickens. Weapon fired.
The Global Market
15-12-2003, 13:37
Lt. Sienar has reported her shadow operation to be completely successful. One campus guard at the University of Ramona is dead, though no other fatalities have been reported. The secret files have been uncovered and transferred to a LibertyNet broadcast station. LibertyNet has announced its willingness to recieve an ambassador from Free Range Chickens and follow his instructions. Though, as capitalists, the LibertyNet board of directors has demanded a small payment from Free Range Chickens.
The Global Market does not possess the military forces needed to conduct or head an occupation force. Our military is almost strictly defensive and strategic. For this reason, we will not be taking charge of the occupation force, but rather advising other countries on the best course of action.
However, we are willing to provide our crack military police, special operations, and counterinsurgency forces if you find these necessary.
Our Department of Very Foreign Policy is likewise shocked at Gurning's use of strategic EMPs after the enemy nation has completely surrendered. We reject Gurning's 'peace' terms, though we do not have a course of action at this time.
OOC: I believe the Soviets experimented with creating a military application for Tesla's work, completely unsuccessfully. I doubt you'd be able to design an EMP based on Tesla.
Grossamerikanes Reich is unwilling to forgive the death of its chief ambassador. Our troops still occupy a significant coastal area of Free Range Chickens and we intend to appropriate it for ourselves.
We, will, however, provide financial assisstance to all parties in this war, but only to Free Range Chickens in return for some trade concessions.
The Melissa
15-12-2003, 14:58
Speaking from the door of a hastily constructed hut outside of what used to be Melcove, Her Majesty the Queen delivered the following speech:
People of The Melissa, the war is over. Free Range Chickens has surrendered. We need fear no further attacks. As we view the devastation and mourn our dead, we must cling to hope for the future by bearing in mind that the war is at an end.
It is clear to all that the damage is almost inconceivable. We cannot assess the full extent of the calamity because our communications systems have been destroyed, but we fear that not a single city remains standing. It is the people of the small rural towns who may have withstood this onslaught with only minimal damage, and we pray that they will mount rescue missions to help their urban neighbors.
Our troops deployed to Free Range Chickens are returning. Because there was never a significant ground war, most of our troops remain healthy and whole. They will assist us as we rebuild our lives. Since there is no way to coordinate an organized rebuilding effort, the troops have been instructed to land where they see the most need and to assist as they see fit. They will aid us with decontamination and reconstruction, and we have hope that our staunch and honorable ally the Brittanic States will continue to do so as well.
Our allies are debating what to do with the territories of Free Range Chickens. I will dispatch one minister to participate in this debate; however, our primary focus is and must be on rebuilding our civilization. While what happens to Free Range Chickens is necessarily of great interest to its victims, we must keep our attention on what happens to us.
Please avoid known hot spots at all cost. Our nation cannot afford to lose any more of its beloved and valuable citizens.
This speech was delivered to survivors in The Melissa via all means available, chiefly runners and horseback riders.
The Melissa
15-12-2003, 15:10
OOC: A Google search indicates that EMP weapons do in fact exist, developed fairly recently. Who knew? You can learn all kinds of stuff this way.
Apparently the idea is to create and distribute EMP bombs rather than attempting the pulse from a centralized source.
If Gurning had the tech and the resources left to deliver such bombs, then I suppose the attack was successful.
The Melissa
15-12-2003, 15:52
I have been dispatched by Her Majesty to represent The Melissa in these negotiations. Because Her Majesty's attention is necessarily on reconstruction, I have been granted complete authority in this matter.
My reaction to Gurning's post-surrender attack is mixed. On the one hand, it is easy to understand Gurning's anger. My entire family and most of my friends were killed in Free Range Chicken's full-scale attack, and I also lost my home and virtually all possessions I had.
On the other hand, my duty requires me to separate my righteous and appropriate anger at the terrorist leaders from my irrational anger towards the general population of Free Range Chickens. They were brainwashed, their reasoning impaired, and most of them had taken no action to harm others regardless of what beliefs they may have expressed.
On the third hand, Gurning chose a means of attack which did not shed blood. The attack was designed to disrupt technology without killing anyone, and we do not yet even know if the attack succeeded. Since the leadership of Gurning had every right to be angry and since they chose a nonviolent strike, my inclination at this time is to be forgiving as long as they enter a peace accord now.
The Melissa has been even more devastated than Gurning by this hideous war. Many of our people wish to see Free Range Chickens utterly destroyed, never again to come together as a nation. But we must not allow this base desire for revenge to distract us from focusing on those who are actually culpable for Free Range Chickens' crimes.
I am happy to learn of the existence of free thinkers within Free Range Chickens, and look forward to working with them in setting up a new government which will not threaten others.
Rufti Bubblechunks
Foreign Minister for The Melissa
Free Range Chickens
15-12-2003, 18:21
OOC: While it appears that EMP weapons exist, their abilities thus far appear to be much more limited than Gurning believed. I am greatly discounting Gurning's predicted effects and taking into account the ability to "harden" devices against an EMP (which a nation engaging in nuclear war would very likely do because the EMP from a nuclear blast is much greater than from an EMP weapon.)
IC:
From the Coalition of the Few:
"The Coalition of the Few is shocked and horrified by Gurning's EMP attack on Free Range Chickens after a full surrender had been made and no further threat existed to Gurning. We would like to remind the world that Gurning is the nation that blackmailed its own neighbors and conspired with the late Prince Nikolai.
"Thankfully, the damage is not nearly as severe as Gurning had predicted. The EMP attacks were quite crude and had less impact on the electronics of our nation than a single, large nuclear blast outside any major cities.
"One of the few virtues of the late Prince Nikolai is that in his march toward war, he did anticipate nuclear warfare and sought to minimize the effect of an EMP of nuclear blasts in FRC. He ordered that production of electronic devices be modified so as to "harden" them and leave fewer of our most modern devices vulnerable in nuclear war. Consequently, only our older technology has been affected.
"The preparedness of FRC's infrastructure, combined with the limited abilities of EMP weapons, has kept the surviving population of FRC (which is quite small due to those killed in the last wave of nuclear blasts) in the 21st century. Several additional billion PdP worth of damage has been done by this EMP blast, but we and other nations have already experienced quite a bit more damage. We have agreed that when reparations payments are made, Gurning should have its amount greatly reduced to account for its illegal receipt of 1 billion PdP from the late Prince Nikolai, damage done to FRC by this attack, and Gurning's malicious attempt to target the civilian infrastructure of our nation after the surrender.
"Because the Coalition of the Few is not presently a functioning government of any kind, all that we can offer as payment to LibertyNet for its broadcast of a counterbrainwashing signal is a few thousand PdP of our own savings. We hope that this will suffice.
"As far as Gurning's terms, we reject the proposed division of our nation. We will have to wait for a return to democracy to see about disarmament of our nation, although this appears as though it may work. In the event of disarmament of our nation, however, there will be no reason for any foreign occupation of our lands. We cannot, therefore, grant the request by Grossamerikanes Reich and Prussia and Pomerania that we cede territory.
"If we are allowed to maintain a standing army (which is a solution that we cannot endorse), then our legislature, when it is convened, may be willing to negotiate a lease of certain lands to maintain foreign military bases on our soil.
"We ask that all invading forces agree upon a proposal. Do you wish us to disarm? If so, then set a timetable for full withdrawal from all our territory following our disarmament and return to democracy. If not, then state a requested territorial lease and specific terms under which it may be granted.
"The Global Market has been provided the list of Nikolai's secret Swiss bank accounts. We trust them to appropriately divide Nikolai's assets among the nations that he victimized. We recommend that the payment to Gurning be greatly reduced, and that the vast majority of funds be appropriated to The Melissa and Queen Jenny. All other nations are deserving of only minimal payments."
The Melissa
15-12-2003, 19:52
It was stated earlier that the account contained tens of billions of PdP. May we then assume that The Melissa will receive reparations amounting to at least ten billion PdP? I would be greatly pleased to be able to inform Her Majesty of such good news.
We are hoping that some of our allies will extend us credit in order to assist with our reconstruction. But ten billion PdP would go a long way towards allowing us to pay our bills in a timely manner.
The Melissa does not demand the complete disarmament of Free Range Chickens. We do not like to see any person or group left without the ability to defend itself, and a disarmed nation is easy prey for rogue states. We would suggest that Free Range Chickens' armaments should be monitored for a time, in order to reassure other nations that they are not rebuilding their terrorist arsenal.
The Brittanic States (not a combatant in the conflict) already offered to undertake this task. Would any of the negotiators object to monitoring of Free Range Chickens' armaments by the Brittanic States for a period of time?
Rufti Bubblechunks
Foreign Minister for The Melissa
The Melissa
15-12-2003, 22:12
What provisions have been made for the war criminals (the former ministers) who are under indictment? Are they being held in custody? If so, whose?
Has anyone yet considered how and where to try them?
If no one has other plans, I suggest that they be released to the custody of Queen Jenny. The Melissa is in no condition to hold prisoners at the moment, and Gurning seems to be in a position of incomplete trust by some. Queen Jenny suffered the third-greatest losses, and so might deserve the honor (?) of holding the accused until trial arrangements can be made.
Another option would be to place them in the custody of an interested but neutral third party, such as the Global Market or the Brittanic States. I am not sure it is wise to leave them in the custody of Free Range Chickens, though, since active mind manipulation is still occuring there.
Rufti Bubblechunks
Foreign Minister for The Melissa
Broadcast from the presidential fallout shelter:
With 99% of our population dead and our inability to inflict substantial damage upon Free Range Chickens, we have decided to bring in ‘outside interests’.
In the ensuing confusion within Free Range Chickens, mercenary snatch squads have succeeded in acquiring the minister for war and the generals responsible for the launch of the nuclear missiles.
It’s our intention to push them into a Gurning 'hot' zone and let them die from radiation poisoning.
The Global Market
15-12-2003, 23:45
Becuase the instigators of the conflict are already dead, and also because both sides have used WMDs, let it be known that the leadership of the Global Market is AGAINST a war crimes tribunal at this time.
The Global Market
16-12-2003, 00:20
Note: The Global Market's computer network was briefly damaged by AI. The spastic message has been deleted. :lol:
The Global Market
16-12-2003, 00:21
Note: The Global Market's computer network was briefly damaged by AI. The spastic message has been deleted. :lol:
The Global Market
16-12-2003, 00:22
The Global Market's bankers have successfully accessed all of Nikolai's Swiss accounts. The money will be distributed as follows:
35% to The Melissa
30% to Queen Jenny
15% back to the people of Free Range Chickens as development aid in exchange for minor trade concessions
12.5% to Gurning
5% charged as banker's comissions and other fees
2.5% to the Three Emperors League
The Melissa
16-12-2003, 00:27
The Melissa
16-12-2003, 00:28
Gustavus' suicide note indicated that Nikolai's cabinet members were the instigators of the catastrophic final strike.
The Melissa has lost an estimated 80% of its population. It has also lost its infrastructure and most of its very buildings and personal possessions. In a stroke we have been reduced to an Iron Age culture. Huge tracts of territory are uninhabitable. The survivors struggle with radiation sickness as they huddle in tents and huts and caves. And you mean to propose that the surviving criminals should not be tried?
Why don't we give them all vacation houses on the Riviera, while we're at it?
For the record, I am also opposed to shoving the accused into a hot zone without benefit of trial. While I am no fan of those criminals, there seems a reasonable chance that mercenary snatch squads could have napped at least some of the wrong people.
I renew my inquiry on the fate of Nikolai's cabinet members other than the former Minister of War in Gurning's possession.
Rufti Bubblechunks
Foreign Minister for The Melissa
Free Range Chickens
16-12-2003, 06:48
The Coalition of the Few appreciates The Global Market's proposal for the division of Nikolai's assets. We would also appreciate it if we could be told the precise nominal sum of all funds found in his accounts.
We do condemn Gurning's decision to punish the Minister of War and several of his generals without a trial. It was a terrible mistake to execute Nikolai without a thorough trial, and we hate to see a continued process of vengence rather than a true process of justice. We agree with The Melissa that all those accused of war crimes should be tried before an international tribunal. We believe that a Ramona War Crimes Tribunal should be given jurisdiction over all ministers, generals and terrorists accused of war crimes.
Most members of the Coalition of the Few are personally opposed to the death penalty, although we recognize that many other nations that support the death penalty must have a say. If the death penalty is to be used, then it should require a higher standard of proof than beyond a reasonable doubt.
At this point, if any of the war criminals are to be found and prosecuted, the invading forces must catch them. We fear that they may allow themselves to be lost in the chaos and remain safe from justice. All terrorists whose attacks were intercepted should be transported to Ramona to be charged before the tribunal if and when it is formed.
The decision has been made to abandon the old commonwealths lands. With the land being a radioactive hellhole it was not too hard a decision.
The remaining population has begun the great migration to a new homeland and the Free Land of Gurning has been established.
Unfortunately, we left behind the Free Range Chickens (hereafter FRC) minister for war and his associates. We are sure they will enjoy the delights of the wonderland they have created.
As we begin the rebuilding of our nation, we announce the following demands.
1. That FRC shall destroy its NBC arsenals.
2. That the FRC air force disbands its bomber wing.
3. That the FRC navy shall, with the exception of patrol boats, be sunk.
4. That the FRC army be limited to 50,000 soldiers.
5. That elections are to be held within FRC under supervision of outsiders.
The Melissa
16-12-2003, 15:02
While I greatly prefer the idea of a war crimes tribunal to the idea of hunting and killing the criminals informally, I'm surprised at the proposal that it be held in Ramona. My impression was that Ramona was well-nigh uninhabitable after Prussia and Pomerania's launch of 25% of its nuclear arsenal. While I gathered that the University had survived, I assumed it was on the outskirts rather than within the city proper. Has anyone in the Coalition of the Few attempted to gather a full damage assessment for Free Range Chickens?
Even if my impression proves correct, it doesn't necessarily rule out Ramona as a site. There is a certain grim appropriateness to the idea of trying the criminals in a radioactive shell of a former city.
But the criminals must be caught before they can be tried. The Melissa simply cannot devote any resources to this endeavor at this time, and can only suggest that nations providing humanitarian aid to Free Range Chickens should keep an eye out for them. After the people of FRC are freed in mind, they may be less inclined to hide the instigators.
Most of the terrorists we captured can no longer be described as in custody. Our prisons and jails were devastated along with everything else. Although they are sturdier than most buildings, the inhabitants were also unable to flee, and our prisoners suffered a death rate of about 80% along with the rest of our population. There were a few surviving terrorists, but I don't know if anyone has remembered to feed them since Hell arrived in The Melissa. I will convey a message home to inquire about their welfare.
The Global Market's proposed division of funds does not seem equitable to me. We have been far more devastated than Queen Jenny, which was not targeted in the final onslaught, yet we are slated to receive only slightly more. I believe that we should receive at least 50% of the uncovered funds; however, I will not quibble over this.
We agree with Gurning that Free Range Chickens should not be allowed any weapons of mass destruction throughout the monitoring period, and that all which still exist should be destroyed. We consider that a non-negotiable demand, given the circumstances. The rest of Gurning's proposal also appears acceptable, although The Melissa is willing to negotiate on the other points.
Rufti Bubblechunks
Foreign Minister for The Melissa
Free Range Chickens
16-12-2003, 17:37
"The Melissa is correct that most of Ramona is in ruins, although most of what was destroyed by the last bombings had already been destroyed in the previous attacks on the city. The University is the only area that was lucky enough to withstand all the waves of destruction, due to its location far outside the city proper and the fact that most of its facilities are in basements made with reinforced steel.
"In all, between 85 and 90 percent of our population died in this war. In the rural areas, however, people remain quite unaffected. We expect their survival and resources to allow for the best possible recovery of all of Free Range Chickens. As we are a nation that can employ cloning technology, we expect to be able to rebuild our population. Free Range Chickens remains a great nation despite this tragedy and the crimes of its past leaders.
"We suspect that some of Nikolai's ministers and generals were killed in the final nuclear blasts. It is likely, however, that most are in rural, underground bunkers. If it is possible to bring all criminals to the University of Ramona, then their pre-trial detention and all proceedings against them could be held in the facilities at the University. If The Melissa believes, however, that Ramona is not the place for the trials, then we can agree to moving them to Queen Jenny.
"We accept the demands and Gurning and The Melissa for destruction of all NBC weapons and limitations on any FRC military capabilities. All remaining weapons of mass destruction should be isolated and destroyed immediately by the occupiers.
"The Melissa probably should receive more than it was given, but this is a matter for The Global Market to decide. In any case, 35 percent of Nikolai's funds should definitely exceed PdP ten billion. We do not have any exact figures on the money in Nikolai's accounts, but estimate that he had between PdP 50 billion and PdP 90 billion in his accounts."
The Melissa
16-12-2003, 19:56
I have received word on the fate of the prisoners.
In all, we captured twenty terrorists from the first and second waves of attack. They were being held at several different facilities. Sixteen of them died in the catastrophic third attack.
Most jailers released their prisoners at that time, rather than leave them to die. However, the jailers holding two of the Free Range Chickens survivors chose to free the other prisoners while leaving the terrorists confined to their cells. They died of thirst after several days.
The last two were freed along with the other inmates in that prison. They have been living and working with everyone else, constructing huts and fire pits and latrines and so forth. There were two incidents of attempted murder on the first day, both of which were unsuccessful, but since then they seem to have been more or less accepted into the survival community.
The FRC brainwashing, while powerful, did not last once they were removed from the propaganda environment and once they saw the results of escalating nuclear war. Both show tremendous remorse. One co-survivor expressed the view that letting them live with what they have done is the worst punishment we could inflict on them.
Her Majesty believes that they should still be remanded for trial. But after the probable conviction, sentencing should take into account that they were brainwashed at the time of the crimes and that they show tremendous remorse and have worked hard on reconstruction. Several of their co-survivors showed willingness to testify that they have changed.
Rufti Bubblechunks
Foreign Minister for The Melissa
The Global Market
16-12-2003, 21:34
The amount found in the Swiss accounts was approximately 37.5 billion PdP, though the exact amount is hard to confirm.
As for the demands on the FRC military. While we support the requirement that the FRC hold elections, our Senate strongly rejects the restriction on its development of arms. Such restriction simply allows a large amount of unemployed men trained in military craft out loose, something that can only have catastrophic results.
We support holding the tribunal within the Free Range Chickens's capital city of Ramona, though if this can not be agreed upon, the legislature of one of our constituent Republics, the Republic of Sertorium, is willing to host the war crimes tribunal within its own capital of Talos.
Though seeing as the ministers were brainwashed at the time, our national Senate remains opposed to a tribunal.
The Melissa
16-12-2003, 23:27
Hold on a mo. The ministers were brainwashed? By whom? My understanding is that those in power were brainwashing others.
Is the theory of the Global Market's leadership that Gustavus was the true villain of the final strike, a fitting heir to Nikolai, who pointed an accusatory finger at his ministers as a final act of malicious evil?
Rufti Bubblechunks
Foreign Minister for The Melissa
The Global Market
17-12-2003, 00:02
The Global Market
17-12-2003, 00:03
OOC [Sorry, misread your post. We withdraw our opinion.]
Queen Jenny
17-12-2003, 00:47
We agree with The Melissa's assessment that they should receive a larger percentage of the funds for reparations. Queen Jenny sustained damage only in the initial attack, and because so much of our economy is based on resource extraction operations in remote areas, the financial impact of the attacks was much less significant than for more industrial and commercial nations. Our capital city is, alas, unusable at the moment, as are the rolling hills outside of Jennyville, but many businesses were able to quickly relocate their centres of operation to branches in other unharmed cities. And the tourism industry in our northern mountains is booming as some of our wealthier residents of Jennyville take extended vacations.
The Melissa
17-12-2003, 03:54
The Global Market has allocated 65% to our two nations. If we take 50%, which we truly could sorely use, then Queen Jenny would be left with only 15% of the total funds.
Of approximately 37.5 billion PdP in recovered money, that would leave Queen Jenny about 5.625 PdP with which to decontaminate and reconstruct Jennyville and to compensate the wounded and the survivors of the dead. Would this amount be adequate and acceptable to Her Majesty your queen?
Such an arrangement would give The Melissa approximately 18.75 billion PdP. We could certainly use it, but do not wish it at the expense of our valued ally Queen Jenny.
Rufti Bubblechunks
Foreign Minister for The Melissa
Queen Jenny
17-12-2003, 15:42
As we have been receiving decontamination assistance from the Brittanic States in addition to these funds, we believe it will be adequate. We wish you the very best as you recover from the attacks, and are sorry that we cannot do more to help you. What a sad time this is for our region.
Grand Vizier Bartholomew Cubbins