NationStates Jolt Archive

Have thousands of political activists that you want to kill, but can't because it would spark a popular revolt?

Laws preventing you from eliminating those annoying sexual preditors?

Those Gays or Straights just freaking you out, but the UN won't let you kill them?

Those annoying retards or cripples wanding around and sucking up your medical budget?

Afraid that people will declare war on you for killing people?


Call Mass Murders 'R' Us! We have no laws preventing killing anyone we darn well please, and we'll be happy to kill your unwanted strange people off for a small fee.


We will kill off any amount of any sexual group, opposition party, less than optimal humans, or generally anyone you just don't like for $5,000 US each. We will provide transportation for the group, and, if you're trying to just get rid of a general segment of the population, we'll do the marketing to make it seem like a vacation so no one wonders what is happening until it is far too late.

We had not considered selling the remainders of of the corpses for experimenation, but upon furthur consideration and requests for arms we will sell body parts for the following prices.

Head (everything above the shoulders, brain possibly included. May have slight exit wounds; if advance ordered, we may be able to give you an undamaeged copy): $100 US for damaged merchandice, $500 US for undamaged
Arm (from the shoulder joint to the tip of the fingers): $150 US
Leg (Hip joint down): $100 US
Kidneys: $100 US
Lungs: $125 US
Heart: $300 US
Entire Torso with all organs: $1,000 US
Entire corpse w/ Headshot: $1215 US
Entire corpse with Nitrogyn Suffocation(Best chance of Frankenstine Monsters!): $1500 US


Currently we are out of stock in all of these items, but we should soon have plenty. Preorder now for the best chance of getting the best items!
If furthur organ

Questions? Comments? Praise that we can use in future advetisements? Telegram the nation of Nazis or reply here for more details.

The Dominion opf Kanuckistan formally demands you suspend this program at once, lest you suffer consiquences 'most dire'.


OOC: I don't think it's that bad, tho lible to get you glassed ICly :wink:

the oppressed people of worktopia wish to buy some arms, how much will you sell? :twisted:

Kanuckistan is a perfect example of what people have to fear if they should try to eliminate dangerous minorities. Send them to our nation and I'll eliminate them, protecting you from any embargos or wars that someone may try to start with you.

OOC: Yes, I know I'm likely to get killed, but this was the first thing that came to mind for entering RP with a nation name like "Naz1s".

Kanuckistan is a perfect example of what people have to fear if they should try to eliminate dangerous minorities. Send them to our nation and I'll eliminate them, protecting you from any embargos or wars that someone may try to start with you.

OOC: Yes, I know I'm likely to get killed, but this was the first thing that came to mind for entering RP with a nation name like "Naz1s".


Tactical nuclear assets have targeted all large military infastructure within your borders; this is your final warning. Terminate this program.

Use of hunam shields for propiganda purposes will be... bad for your health; almost as bad as the 1.8 kiloton sub-nukes we're arming(well, not quite; it'll be exactly as bad as the sub-nukes ;) )

Isn't this always the response of those nations who pretend to stand for the rights of all, and for free choice. Only a minimal amount of negotiation, and then instant nuclear destruction of the dicatorship, regardless of any other consequences. I am not doing anything that thousands of other nations aren't doing already in secret, or even in open in some cases. I am merely centralizing it and trying to make it more humane. Well, and make a profit. Here, we have none of the chasing around and running in fear that accompanies the other persecutions, and humane methods of killing. Either they are made unconsious first, or it is an instant death. Not only that, but I have yet to actually KILL anyone using my program, only asked for any orders. Can't you consider any other options besides instant death for many of my people?

Trasian soldier:I think i am gonna be sick

his mouth is covered by a TSD leutenient

LT:you don't wanna do that, err could you please place somthing that dosn't have bodyparts in the thread instead?

gives a nervous smile

The weapons I am preparing to use are 1.8 kiloton(that's around a tenth the yeild of the bombs broped on Japan at the end of WW2) subnukes, from which fallout is negligible.

And I have considered other options than the 'instant death for many of (your) people?' I've delivering an ultimadium that can solve this issue without bloodshead. I am also targeting military instalations only, and have given warning so that you may evacuate them if you so desire.

You see, we have a policy; we value your lives as much as you value the lives of others. So we have no problem stomaching a little collaterial in acheiving our aims.

Very well. The nation of Naz1s will no longer accept entire races to be destroyed. We still will accept anyone that commits a death penalty crime or is a sexual pervert that a nation cannot deal with themselves due to their laws, or the laws of the UN. We still are offering surplus organs from anyone that dies within our country.

Is this acceptible?

Trasian soldier:I think i am gonna be sick

his mouth is covered by a TSD leutenient

LT:you don't wanna do that, err could you please place somthing that dosn't have bodyparts in the thread instead?

gives a nervous smile

I am sorry, but I did forgo sending out pictures of the body parts in question.

If you do want to have your minorities eliminated, you need to send them too us quickly, as we may soon be going out of business.

Meh; good enough to save the weapons.

OOC: BTW, if I launched, I was actually going to forget about your military assets and take out your government centers, leaders' homes/palaces, bunkers, etc. with a mixture of the subnukes and conventional ordinance. ;) :twisted:

Never warn the guy that you're preparing to put a cruise missile through his living room window if he doesn't back down.

Diminixians, the ones from diminix

Meh; good enough to save the weapons.

OOC: BTW, if I launched, I was actually going to forget about your military assets and take out your government centers, leaders' homes/palaces, bunkers, etc. with a mixture of the subnukes and conventional ordinance. ;) :twisted:

Never warn the guy that you're preparing to put a cruise missile through his living room window if he doesn't back down.

OOC: Well, yeah, I sort of figured that. I just hadn't bought any nuclear shelters for me or my millitary yet, so I decided to back down.

IC: In thanks for your backing down, do you have any political enemies that you need getting rid of but might cause a problem if your storm troopers killed them? You can send as many people as you want to my nation for the next NS month, and I'll have my storm troopers kill them for you.

Diminixians, the ones from diminix

I'm sorry, but I cannot kill off an entire race, under the APDKMIS* treaty of December 3rd, 2003. If you can, however, make everything they do a death penalty offense, or make sure they're all perverts, then I can kill them. Just send me numbers, the money, and if you want to transport them here, or if you want me to pick them up.


*ARG! Please don't kill me! I'm sorry!

Um, no thanks; I had enough trouble as it was trying to set up a working opposition when my nation was a democracy.

Things like that happen when the people start worshiping the nation's elected leader as a god.

Um, no thanks; I had enough trouble as it was trying to set up a working opposition when my nation was a democracy.

Things like that happen when the people start worshiping the nation's elected leader as a god.

But wouldn't it be soo much easier to do what is right for the people if you can eliminate those that are out to get the people? You really sure you don't want to kill anyone? C'mon, only $5,000 US per person, and I can clean out your prisons.

We have a number of hippies that require termination. We captured them at "Woodstock 2003" smoking pot in a no smoking area, looting stores, and being involved in riots. We want them dead, as an example to others of their kind. So do you have the facilities to take 2000 hippies? We'll pay extra if we can have the body [parts] back. *12 million USD wired*

Money accepted. The busses will be at your prisons in the next 5 NS days, and the corpses will be shipped back within the next NS month, physically unharmed, but far less likely to cause social revolution.

Thank you for your business! Come again!

Double post

But wouldn't it be soo much easier to do what is right for the people if you can eliminate those that are out to get the people? You really sure you don't want to kill anyone? C'mon, only $5,000 US per person, and I can clean out your prisons.

People tend not to question you when they all think you're god.

But wouldn't it be soo much easier to do what is right for the people if you can eliminate those that are out to get the people? You really sure you don't want to kill anyone? C'mon, only $5,000 US per person, and I can clean out your prisons.

People tend not to question you when they all think you're god.

I was saying that you could eliminate those that refuse to do what is good for the people in general. The extremes on either side, those that want to get elected then do away with election, you know.

We have some political activist going against our will, but because I'm trying to keep a good image. So instead I won't have my men kill them, I'll pay you to do the job. The public will probably know it, but hey, the blood isn't on my hands. I'll wire the money upon completetion, and keep their heads intanct. I'd like to show prisoners what happen to those I want dead.

Ok. How many people would you like eliminated, and would you like any body parts back besides the heads?

Once the number and other specifics are confirmed, the busses will head to a location specified by you.

(OOC: Tell me how many so I know what to charge you. If you want to just tell me the money number, it'll be $5,500 US each, 5,000 for their death, and 500 for their head back)

Only their heads, and they is exactly 126 in their group. Their headquarters is located in my capital, they should be having a retirement party this Friday. Knowing them, they'll all be there. I want all of them dead. If all their bodies were to be torched with the building, with the exception of their head, that probably would cost more no?

We prefer to just round them up, and ship them to our country to be carefully disposed of. However, we could attempt to kill them and cut off their heads and then burn the building. We would require $10,000 US, as it would be somewhat difficult to kill them without any risk of harming their heads. Also, we would need an assurance that the police would not interfere. Our strike teams can't just go around getting arrested.

Of course, we could round them up, kill them where we want to, then take them back and torch them there for only $7,000 US, but it wouldn't seem quite right to the people around, with the break between the initial round up, and then the fire and other things.

Well lets see. The party overall is going to be in a tight fit room, four doors. Just pour in your men, line them up, end their lives as cruel and quick and as accurate as possible, then decapitate each one, transport the heads to a transport truck, move it to my palace backyard were we'll handle it, then put all the bodies in the center of the building, poor flameable liquids all over the bodies, the tables, the cake, the flags, and the walls, then toss a lighter, and blow up some of their cars just to make fighting the fire harder.

Very well then. It seems to be a reasonable set up. We'll start setting up for it now, and our special forces will take them out upon wiring of the money.

Cost: $819,000 US. $6,000 US per for killing, and the slightly harder and more elaborate take down, and $500 US per for the head delivery.

But wouldn't it be soo much easier to do what is right for the people if you can eliminate those that are out to get the people? You really sure you don't want to kill anyone? C'mon, only $5,000 US per person, and I can clean out your prisons.

People tend not to question you when they all think you're god.

I was saying that you could eliminate those that refuse to do what is good for the people in general. The extremes on either side, those that want to get elected then do away with election, you know.

There aren't any of those that I'm aware of, and if there were, I could, ya know, call them up and ask them to change there ways, seeing as they think I'm god.

Besides, if a really wanted to eliminate someone, how hard do you think it would be to arrange a seemingly innocent accident? Or I could walk over and shoot them, in public, and I bet the people would declare it a holy day or something, seeing as they think I'm god, and can do no wrong.

Money wired, I am looking forward to those heads arriving. You cannot rule without fear.

Money wired, I am looking forward to those heads arriving. You cannot rule without fear.

Thank you for youre business! Come again!

Remember, (insert catchy jingle)"If you need some dead, but the world will have your head, just call...Mass Murders 'R' Us!"

Money wired, I am looking forward to those heads arriving. You cannot rule without fear.

Thank you for youre business! Come again!

Remember, (insert catchy jingle)"If you need some dead, but the world will have your head, just call...Mass Murders 'R' Us!"

Come now, there must be more intrest in such a dissent reduction service as this.

But
Underintrest
Makes
People sad

thank you.