NationStates Jolt Archive

Painful End, being now at war with People's Commonwealth of Beth Gellert, has just drafted its entire population of 5 million and ordered them to march in the general direction of People's Commonwealth of Beth Gellert. They are to take whatever food they can carry from their homes and loot in countries they march through to feed themselves when this runs out. They are to remember always that this is a Holy War, sanctioned by me, their God.

"Oh mercy! And comrade Igo's out of the country at the Aztec National League communist nations' summit! Who will dispense the insults? WHO?"

-Field-Marshal Brenni, head of the People's Commonwealth Army.

The general consensus in the Final Senate session called in Gibborium to-night was that we would fight them on the beaches, but probably they will all drown before quite getting to the southern Indian Ocean. Comrade Kezo suggested fighting them on the beeches, outlining a plan to donate wooden rafts to the attackers, so that the CS Minh could perhaps ram them all.

The motion was not carried, and Commonwealth Chief Consul Chivo was instead directed to ask of the Painful Enders "Sorry, do we know you?" and "Why does this happen to us?" Adding of his own accord,"We will not tollerate another Samustan!"

The Chosen People of Painful End are now marching through Saik United Fronts. Actually, since most of them had cars, most decided to fulfill their Holy Orders by either driving or carpooling. Those are the ones who are crossing the border right now. The rest sort of got left behind, but they will still be coming; they're just taking their time.

Hmm. This appears to be an Eastern European affair.. all right then. Ideally it would have remained in the region, and taken advantage of the combat system (here, you can afford a militia unit, maybe)

In that case, I'll wait until you get a map spot (which is ..er.. likely, yes) and then you can invade Russia and Finland. That usually works out well for folk.

(This is because of Igo's "Spectre of Igovian Socialism" speech, isn' it? Heh)

Oh, very well then.
Ignore the first post- that was my seperate-from-Eastern-Europe hat, you see. BG exists in two different universeseses.

Aren't the Saik butchering you horribly?

Ah well, Generals Frink and Pangloss await in the Nikolaykrainan Territory. Of course on reaching the border you shall be asked to please go away, but we shall be sure to have the kettle on.

The Chosen People have come to a small town of about 10,000 whose name they could not read. They have looted and set fire to the town, and killed a few hundred people who were too slow running away. Their Holy Supreme Leader pronounces this a decisive and glorious Blessed Victory.

On Colonel Estevan's specific (and "Why the Damn-fool-Hell did you wake me for this?") orders Gellert Sentinel units with Pangloss' Southern Army have been activated against this most bizarre of threats.

Posing as Nikolaykrainan bandits, the GS squads set out to locate and survey the lunatics, while Wodograd-based prop-driven Preston observation aircraft attempt the same.

CCC Chivo wonders if maybe the lunatics would like a drink?

It is the orders of the Holy Supreme Leader that the Holy Chosen People shall never accept anything from Evil Heathen Foreigners unless they steal it from them.

"Steal this." So -reportedly- said the co-pilot of patrolling NT1FB-3C2, as he loosed the Springer attack plane's Parliament Air to Ground Missiles against an unauthorised convoy in the eastern region of the Beth Gellen Sector of Influence. The two weapons strode forth at Mach 1.1 ...2...3 ever faster, their targets securely acquired.

OOC: Drafting your entire population falls into the 'Ridiculous / impossible' school of military actions. And declaring war on multiple nations several hundred times your size isn't clever.

The Chosen People have Absolute Holy Faith in their Leader-God and are willing to do whatever it takes to take over the Entire World for Him or go down in a Mighty Blaze of Glory. To the Chosen People, what Heathens call "sanity" is irrelevant, only Faith in their Great Leader is important.

Good. Bugger off, you don't exist. Next!

Whoa… I’ve seen wars on NationStates many, many times before, after all, I am a nation that joined in February… but this is one is one of the more surreal ones.

Never mind though, I’ll leave it be… if anyone tells either of you that you’re god-moding, ignore them because this RP is between you two and has no effect on them. However, if this is a ploy to gain additional land… most people will not recognise it as taken legitimately. Not that it matters, let the weirdness continue!


Edit: Eeek a Mod... ohwell, I was responding to the fact that they both seemed content with role-playing the idiocy of the war… so I’m not taking it seriously. God-moding may be terrible, but so far this thread just seems like a joke and as such I am treating it like one… you couldn’t run a serious war like this and neither of them care…

Oh course, it’s completely different if it’s one person… but if it’s two people who know each from region or something, I say we let them practice RP… even if it’s wrong I think a lot of newbies are intimidated by the forums…

[/two pence]

"Steal this." So -reportedly- said the co-pilot of patrolling NT1FB-3C2, as he loosed the Springer attack plane's Parliament Air to Ground Missiles against an unauthorised convoy in the eastern region of the Beth Gellen Sector of Influence. The two weapons strode forth at Mach 1.1 ...2...3 ever faster, their targets securely acquired.
Uh, the Leader would like someone to tell Him how many people that would probably kill, not because He is not Omniscient, but as a Test ...

About.. four million nine hundred and ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine.

Unless you're going by the usual EE 10% population standard, in which case, by puuure coincidence it's about 4.5million less than that.

*sips tea*

*continues to be curious as to the identity of this attacker*

Whoa… I’ve seen wars on NationStates many, many times before, after all, I am a nation that joined in February… but this is one is one of the more surreal ones.

Never mind though, I’ll leave it be… if anyone tells either of you that you’re god-moding, ignore them because this RP is between you two and has no effect on them. However, if this is a ploy to gain additional land… most people will not recognise it as taken legitimately. Not that it matters, let the weirdness continue!
It is Good that you see that I am God and am Omnipotent, but I have decided to leave this Holy War up to the Chosen People without intervention as a trial of their Great Faith, which will make it Stronger.

ooc (more so?): Heh, Iuthia- BG is an established part of Eastern Europe, a usually introspecitve region. We've already come up with more than enough ploys to grab more land.. I mean.. spread the revolution. One of my characters, the infamous Graeme Igo, gave a speech yesterday slightly a bit ripped-off from The Manifesto, in which he spoke of Beth Gellert's revolutionary expansionism, and the suspicious lack of reactionary backlash.. looks like someone thought it'd be nice to give us some (reactionary backlash).

About.. four million nine hundred and ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine.

Well, my population increased to 6 million before you posted that, so let's figure a current population of 1,001. That seems about right, because some of them had drunk too much along the way, and have passed out, and some of them were trying to walk ... so they couldn't all be in one group.

*scratches head, ever more puzzled by this affair*

Would you mind terribly if we interned the rest in our famous re-education facilities? We have a few lovely vacancies at Fort Brennus and near Waldberghoff-trarbk-dikdorff.

-CC N.Kezo to.. er.. well on every available radio frequency.

*scratches head, ever more puzzled by this affair*

Would you mind terribly if we interned the rest in our famous re-education facilities? We have a few lovely vacancies at Fort Brennus and near Waldberghoff-trarbk-dikdorff.

-CC N.Kezo to.. er.. well on every available radio frequency.
The Chosen People have Supreme Faith. The ones who are walking will resist. The ones who have passed out drunk clearly cannot.

LOL, this Painful End chap is just playing around here. He isn't serious, and doesn't believe in what he types. :D

Edit: Eeek a Mod... ohwell, I was responding to the fact that they both seemed content with role-playing the idiocy of the war… so I’m not taking it seriously. God-moding may be terrible, but so far this thread just seems like a joke and as such I am treating it like one… you couldn’t run a serious war like this and neither of them care…

He...Err...Kinda TG'd me and declared war on me, y'see...Just posting that the whole thing is being ignored [and ARROWED] by the Federation.

Same here...

The Oppressed Peoples of Painful End
Received: 9 minutes ago I declare war on you also. See thread in forum.

But how can you declare war on a corporation?

OOC: To GMC: Fair enough, in that case he should also be [MSGed!] or simply just meet a possum… but war with you? Aren’t you like in the top 500 defence forces? Either-way I see your point.

To BG and PE: Fair enough… though I’d like to point out that were BG to use their entire population as an army they would crush you… but neither is possible. It’s only that BG is perfectly ok with this that I’m not ranting. As for imperialism… I’m ok with any nation doing anything providing they both RP it and don’t claim more then they can field, in the case of gained territory it has to be seriously RPed and then taken from someone who isn’t a puppet, but a real nation.

Just don’t tell me that IC… I’m the President of a Anti-Imperialist alliance, we’re also getting ready to start being more active again…

Same here...

The Oppressed Peoples of Painful End
Received: 9 minutes ago I declare war on you also. See thread in forum.

But how can you declare war on a corporation?
By killing all of you. It is the Will of the Most Supreme Leader that All Heathens be Removed from the Good Earth. So technically everyone should get that message, but practical restraints mean I would have to use Divine Intervention to do so, which I have Elected to Withhold.

LOL, this Painful End chap is just playing around here. He isn't serious, and doesn't believe in what he types. :D
Do you?

Heh. Why'd we get lumbered with 'em?

Across The People's Commonwealth's Sector of Influence in Nikolaykraina, signposts are altered in the hopes of steering the attackers into assorted local re-education facilities.

The signposts are super tempting, variously promising hangover cures and more ale.. which happens to be the same thing as the hangover cure..but..anyway, they're both lies, of course.

Yes.

Heh.. don't worry about imperialism.. PE isn't even on the map, there's no way for me to take his land, because as far as BG and Eastern Europe are concerned, it doesn't actually exist.

Heh. Why'd we get lumbered with 'em?

Across The People's Commonwealth's Sector of Influence in Nikolaykraina, signposts are altered in the hopes of steering the attackers into assorted local re-education facilities.

The signposts are super tempting, variously promising hangover cures and more ale.. which happens to be the same thing as the hangover cure..but..anyway, they're both lies, of course.

Yes.
You'll need to make them pictures, because the Chosen People are Above literacy. Could you display a few, or describe them?

Heh.. don't worry about imperialism.. PE isn't even on the map, there's no way for me to take his land, because as far as BG and Eastern Europe are concerned, it doesn't actually exist.
Show me this map, and I will tell you all of the Reasons it is Heathen Lies.

I would, but..y'know.

We're hoping you'll go after someone else soon, because The Commonwealth has things to do.

whilst the entire population of Painful end was attacking Beth, 2000 Lapsian soldiers were airlifted into Painful ends capital which they promptly secured. There was no opposition because no citizens of the country were within 10,000 km. It is believed that Lapse will begin populating the nation within a week

The Oppressed Peoples of Painful End
Received: 9 minutes ago I declare war on you also. See thread in forum.
i recieve this aswell,


how many tg boxes did you send this to Painful end?

OOC: He declared war on me, too. Well, I don't like that one bit, and have decided to take him up on it.

IC: Barring international objection, the Dominion has decided to use the country of Painful End as a testing grounds for our new Pure Hydrogen warheads. You will be receiving our response shortly, Painful. Anyone with troops in country, please respond yay or nay to our request to test our bombs.

Project Black Anvil (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=99882&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0)
http://www.ieer.org/fusion.gif

OOC: He declared war on me, too. Well, I don't like that one bit, and have decided to take him up on it.

IC: Barring international objection, the Dominion has decided to use the country of Painful End as a testing grounds for our new Pure Hydrogen warheads. You will be receiving our response shortly, Painful. Anyone with troops in country, please respond yay or nay to our request to test our bombs.



I object to this, our nation has already moved 12,000 citizens into the land formerly known as Painful End which is now under our control. We will not take kindly to you dropping bombs onto Lapses land

OOC: He declared war on me, too. Well, I don't like that one bit, and have decided to take him up on it.

IC: Barring international objection, the Dominion has decided to use the country of Painful End as a testing grounds for our new Pure Hydrogen warheads. You will be receiving our response shortly, Painful. Anyone with troops in country, please respond yay or nay to our request to test our bombs.



I object to this, our nation has already moved 12,000 citizens into the land formerly known as Painful End which is now under our control. We will not take kindly to you dropping bombs onto Lapses land

Acknowledged. Test rescheduled for sea burst in our own territory. We wish you luck.

We could beat this guy and all we have are pissed off bikers and gearheads. I think this is one of the funniest wars since Rockaway Beach nuked Stupid White Boys. Please, carry on.

http://a732.g.akamaitech.net/7/732/34/2f7dac1c6600ba/dsc.discovery.com/convergence/bike/bios/gallery/jesse_index.jpg
Jesse James
Prseident of The Free Land of No Speed Limits
Quote: "I don't know how to engineer a car. I know how to weld and make it loud."

Telegrams
From Message
The People's Republic of Saik United Fronts
Received: 18 hours ago ...hmph, post it in the Eastern Europe Thread.

The Chick Magnet of Pablo The Squirrel
Received: 20 hours ago I NOOK JO
The Dominion of Kaukolastan
Received: 1 day ago I request a hyperlink to this "war".



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