NationStates Jolt Archive


Right after these messages: YOUR NATIONS ADVERTISEMENTS!

The Monolith Builders
30-11-2003, 08:32
Please, put some of your ads in here!
I'm sure not the only one to want to see them :)
To get the ball rolling, heres one from my region, The Crimson Order!

_---- Crimson Cola ----_

http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0YwDZAqYdCkm!IoUCmXmc2lzwEa9m5KzQoeT*guI9pfVOq7ZGuFAWdVSX!OHB5jrHlpwrAcEbYFv!KIQIxGMamZAq3VpOyIluKix PcieO!iBpEIdhe32DUWFgQ39OdZCNr7mjgYy34kZEwQQWO3cWHg/crimsonscola.bmp?dc=4675449306271014403

The screen fades to red swiftly and then the red around the dragon
(Pictured above) fades to a moving picture of a "happening party", Godsmack - Voodoo: Rave-Remix fades in and plays loudly, and then the dragon fades as well.


A lady clad in a tightly fitting blue "female shirt" walks to the
bar.

The barkeep winks at her and reaches under the bartable and places
a bottle of Crimson Cola on the table.

The lady twists the cap and sculls about half the bottle.
The lady stands up and walks to a crowd around a breakdancer.
The breakdancer finishes a complicated move and jumps up.
The lady then pushes her way through and performs an even more complicated move
The breakdancer has a shocked look on his face.
The lady stands up and walks to the breakdancer and puts the bottle
in his hand.
Camera zooms on logo.
Music fades.
White fades in to the dragon logo.
A loud whisper comes across the speakers
"Be a dragon"

_---- END ----_

Buy Crimson Cola: http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=98813
Padmasa
30-11-2003, 08:37
Crimson Cola™ A joint venture by Thundercorp™ of the Padmasan Empire and Crimson Confectionaries™ of The Monolithian Empire.
Archaic Slang Words
30-11-2003, 08:41
A man walks into a cheap 7-11-esque gas station store. He looks confused.

MAN: "Why can't they just serve regular non-brand food here?"

The screen freezes still.

ANNOUNCER: "Feel pain no more! We have the answer to all your problems. Announcing FOOD brand food!"

The man looks up with a smile on his face, and a can labeled"FOOD" in his hand.

MAN: "Wow! This stuff had to have been reconstituted at least 10 times! And it tastes like burnt rubber and moldy cheese!"

ANNOUNCER: "FOOD brand food has all the nutritional value of a crumpled up newspaper, with a taste ten times worst! Made of various wood products, FOOD brand food is a great substitute! Even the kids love it!"

The screen flashes to poor orphans eating out of cans.

KIDS: "I'm hungry, and I can't feel my toes..."

The screen flashes to the kids feet infected with gangreen.

KIDS: "Please help me..."

ANNOUNCER: "Yes, FOOD brand food! Another cold and insensitive product brought to you by ASW foodstuff!"

http://score.kings.k12.ca.us/lessons/dog/can.card.jpg

ANNOUNCER (fast voice): "May cause brain damage, and kidney failure. Do not buy this product, DO NOT!"
30-11-2003, 08:44
Ad online>>>

>>><<<

Need a helpful ally?

Well Mighty Mountains will be it! The rich and beautiful land will inspire many tourists from your nation, allowed in. Here will be protected by the Mighty Guards, a very powerful and elite soldiers, to make the lives safer.

Our benefits of being our ally, which will include wars, are...

1. Accept 200 Mighty Guards.
2. Recieve 1 new Class Battleship, Demonic Heat or Aqua Burster or Raging Power.
3. Recieve a nuke.
4. ABM System will be built on your nation.
5. All Air-Protection will be provided by Mighty Mountains.
6. 60 trillion dollars worth of Military Supplies.
---------------------

Thats not all! Our benefits cannot be given to new born nations! :( We have a special equipment for their defense. These defense are...

1. 20,000 Mighty Peace (elite peacekeepers).
2. 20,000 SAM Sites around the nation.
3. 200 Mighty Tank-15s.
4. 100 Mighty Raptor-B12s.
5. 3 submarines, 2 crusiers, 1 destroyer, 1 battleship, and 1 carrier (filled).
-----------------------------

To be our ally, Telegram me!
Padmasa
30-11-2003, 08:47
M. M.

60 trillion worth... You can afford this how, exactly?

Mighty Mountains Gross Domestic Product
Population: 339,000,000
Civil Rights: Some
Economy: Thriving
GDP per Capita: $20,000
GDP: $6,780,000,000,000
National Budget: $1,790,814,960,000
Langham
30-11-2003, 08:51
:::Chewy Chewing Gum:::

A man purchases a pack of plain gum and walks outside. Right then, he is hit by a car.

MAN: This man did not buy the Chewy Chewing Gum. Instead, he brought the plain old not very tasty gum. Buy Chewy Chewing Gum. And it doesn't give you cancer!

FAST VOICE: We don't know that.

The camera shifts over to a training field for the Langham Elite Guard.

MAN: This drill sergeant just started chewing Chewy Chewing Gum. Watch his enhanced performance.

DRILL INSTRUCTOR: LET'S GO...*gasp*help...*choke*...me...

The drill instructor falls dead.

MAN: Buy this gum today! It's the best thing that you can buy!

Fine print appears for a few seconds.

This gum is not approved by the Langham Health and Sanitation Department. Chew at your own risk.
Archaic Slang Words
30-11-2003, 08:51
Oh yea, one more!

---

A kid is sitting in a bar, obviously underage.

KID: Can I get some schnapps?

BARTENDER: We're sorry, kid, but you're too young, but we can offer you some DRINK brand drink!

ANNOUNCER: Yes, DRINK brand drink! Another product of ASW foodstuff!

KID: This makes my throat burn when I drink it...

ANNOUNCER: The tangy flavor of DRINK brand drink will keep you coming back for more and more!

KID: I seriously can't feel my insides and... awww God, MY STOMACH! DEAR GOD! THE PAIN! THE PAIN!

ANNOUNCER: *Trying to talk over the kid* DRINK brand drink is highly nutritious, and can even help to eliminate harmful bacteria! Buy DRINK brand drink today and feel the wonderful feeling of a healthy body!

KID: SOMEONE CALL 9-11! AHH GOD! PLEASE KILL ME! PLEASE! IT HURTS! AHHHH!!! PLEASE, HELP!

http://stevegarufi.com/draino2.jpg
Padmasa
30-11-2003, 08:54
This gum is not approved by the Langham Health and Sanitation Department. Chew at your own risk.
Sigma Octavus
30-11-2003, 10:49
Hyper Fuzion Cola

*shows a youth sitting at computer, drinking Hyper Fuzion Cola*
*The youth takes a sip and begins typing*
*Keyboard slowly melts from friction*

"For when you can't slow down to type l33t."

Warning: Contains 9/4 of a lethal dosage of caffeine. Should not be consumed by children, pregnant women, dieties, non-humans or black holes
Padmasa
30-11-2003, 10:51
Warning: Contains 9/4 of a lethal dosage of caffeine. Should not be consumed by children, pregnant women, dieties, non-humans or black holes