NationStates Jolt Archive

The Free Land Of Froggyliciousness is building a giant space station over Guinness Extra Cold's planet today. In a telegram, the leader said he wants a place to sell alcohol and alcohol-related products. Also, KFF (Kurlein Fast Food) has signed a contract making it THE fast food joint on the station.

Due to popular demand for our product on an interplanetary scale, we in the slurring and generally agreeable nation of Guinness Extra Cold have decided to construct a permanent orbital station with the free state of Froggyliciousness. This station represents the final step in corporate advertising and product distribution. We are a neutral non-affiliated nation that is building a station along those lines; it literally will be a Freeport with no questions asked.

To offset the costs of construction this monstrous spinning metal catastrophe, we are actively seeking corporate investors. For a one-time deposit or long term payment plan, a corporate body can lease or own a section of the station or shop place on one of the many promenades. Patrons are guaranteed a clean and safe atmosphere thanks to an in-house security service and maintenance crew from our nation and other neutral nations. We are offering 100 shop spaces and 20 section spaces for sale.

Shop dimensions are thirty feet by thirty feet by ten feet and come with individual environmental controls, storage facilities, main and emergency entrance, internal communication access control, advertising space on the outside of the station, free use of the docking port and basic living quarters for staff (can be upgraded for additional cost). Note: Shops can be purchased and combined to increase sales space.

Section dimensions are 100 meters by 100 meters by 15 meters and come with everything included in the shop offer as well as three industrial sized docking port, 24-hour station security, free use of one of Guinness Extra Colds transports once a week* and voting rights on issues affecting the station.

Leasing prices per month (shop/section)

10,000 USD/1,000,000 USD

Purchasing rights (shop/section)

1,500,000 USD/1,500,000,000 USD

* Cannot be used for anything other than commercial product delivery that would not violate the neutrality of the station or Guinness Extra Cold.
Guinness Extra Cold and those nations on the executive board can eject a nation/corporation that they deem could bring danger to the station or its member nations.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Do we get any product bonuses from Guinness Extra Cold with this deal?

A: Of Course, with a shop lease, you get free alcohol for employees and their families. With ownership of a shop, you get the above including 100 kegs of our finest brews that will be delivered every month. Section leasers get 1000 kegs every month and owners get alcohol rained down on their nation for a twenty four hour period every year on their founding day.

Q: Will this station be used for advancing the political goals of its investors?

A: Absolutely not! We are completely neutral and will not arm our station other then minimal armaments necessary to destroy asteroids and occasional unfriendly face eating aliens. Any nation’s ships are more than welcome to dock as long as they respect this rule.

Q: Do you have any other offers with this amazing deal?

A: We have several ballrooms and luxury suites to provide elegant, neutral and safe settings for royal events and international negotiations. Discretion is assured!

For any other questions, post or telegram Guinness Extra Cold!

Why are corporations and nations so reluctant to take advantage of this monumental and badly planned promotional offer?

Is the fear that a massive space station controlled by individuals who enjoy alcohol as a religion preventing your investment?

Bah, we say, Bah! We promise nothing but profit and a pleasant numbness!

(OOC: That was NICE :D )

As a trading partner, Rebel grots would like to escelate our trading deal with GEC after these wonderful news. We propose to send an extra 10 tons of you-know-what in exchange for 200 gallons of guinness. This will take place each month. We would also request that the merchandise be delivered in liquid form by your merchant space fleet, and deposited as rain on top of our tallest mountain. It will then be collected when it reaches the bottom of the montain. (adds to the great taste)

Cool do you have a pic?

As a trading partner, the People's Republic of Da'amfeck hereby pledges $3,000,000,000,000 in return for partial ownership of the Space Station.

As a trading partner, Rebel grots would like to escelate our trading deal with GEC after these wonderful news. We propose to send an extra 10 tons of you-know-what in exchange for 200 gallons of guinness. This will take place each month. We would also request that the merchandise be delivered in liquid form by your merchant space fleet, and deposited as rain on top of our tallest mountain. It will then be collected when it reaches the bottom of the montain. (adds to the great taste)

Agreed, truly the cold mountain taste will increase happiness and consentual procreation in your nation by 125%. Enjoy!

As a trading partner, the People's Republic of Da'amfeck hereby pledges $3,000,000,000,000 in return for partial ownership of the Space Station.

We can always rely upon the necessity of alcohol in the journalistic profession. Your participation in the running of the station will be advantageous for all.
No problem, because

http://mediaservice.photoisland.com/auction/Nov/200311308858240842310112.jpg

We are now providing an artists (The CEO's Brother-in-law Gary) rendition about what the station will look like. Temporarily named the S.S. Looked Better The Night Before we are still looking for more *professional* renditions. Hopefully this will draw up some more business.

OOC: Yes, I suck at photoshop and everything artistic. Add this to another failure in a long list of shattered dreams. My mother was right, Grad School has done nothing.....Nothing!!!!

The Grand Duchy of Hiboux respectfully requests two units on the secondary promenade of the space station for Owl Pleasuring Facilities (or OPFs), where customers may select an owl of their choice (depending on stock) to pleasure/be pleasured by. In addition, there will be formally-dressed butlers serving beer to <cough> customers. Don't worry, Hiboux has a strict safe-sex policy in place; offenders will be placed onto the 'Who Wants to be an Illegal Immigrant' list, a gameshow popular in our fair Duchy. Survival is possible, but not preferable.

The Grand Duchy of Hiboux respectfully requests two units on the secondary promenade of the space station for Owl Pleasuring Facilities (or OPFs), where customers may select an owl of their choice (depending on stock) to pleasure/be pleasured by. In addition, there will be formally-dressed butlers serving beer to <cough> customers. Don't worry, Hiboux has a strict safe-sex policy in place; offenders will be placed onto the 'Who Wants to be an Illegal Immigrant' list, a gameshow popular in our fair Duchy. Survival is possible, but not preferable.

Even though we in Guinness Extra Cold have made numerous mistakes due to our libation policy (hence the name of the station), not even Gary has gone so far as to break into zoos.

Despite our fundemental objections with your national occupation, we will stand by our word on objectivity and grant you the spaces. Just for the love of G-d, keep the doors closed!

The Grand Duchy of Hiboux respectfully requests two units on the secondary promenade of the space station for Owl Pleasuring Facilities (or OPFs), where customers may select an owl of their choice (depending on stock) to pleasure/be pleasured by. In addition, there will be formally-dressed butlers serving beer to <cough> customers. Don't worry, Hiboux has a strict safe-sex policy in place; offenders will be placed onto the 'Who Wants to be an Illegal Immigrant' list, a gameshow popular in our fair Duchy. Survival is possible, but not preferable.



Dude, if you want this space station.... I dont mind alcohol and alcohol related products but this is ludicrous!