Shonar Bangla
28-11-2003, 15:44
It is election time here. It will be a complicated affair, as this multi-ethnic, multi-religious and multi-linguistic nation decides who will be the next leader.
Please vote in the best interest of our nation (hope to keep it Moralistic Conservative Democracy). Candidates are:
1) Shankar Bhattacharya: "The Hindus have tolerated this for too long. This land belongs to us, and now, we are a minority in this land. Vote for me, and you shall be rid of this Green Menace once and for all."
2) Myself: "Let us forget all internal divisions, because we are one and only one nation, that is Shonar Bangla (Golden Bengal). United we stand. I'll make you a superpower in half a year, if you decide to stay the way we are."
3) Yogi Ghutghutanondo: "We are all human beings in the end, let us live in peace internally, peace externally, and prosperity will come to you. We are all tired of unnecessary militarism in the name of nationalism. The true essence of Shonar Bangla, is promoting peace and prosperity."
4) Abdullah Ghanikhan Choudhury: "Comrades, this is our last chance to spread the word of Lenin. This government just looks after you before the election to get your vote, so that you are rich before the election. Rest of the year, you are living off charity. The choice is yours, either you vote for us, and we eliminate the burgeousie peacefully, or else, we take the resistance underground."
5) Mullah Muhammadia Hakim: "Brethren, we have finally achieved our goal. We are the majority today. However, I am disheartened as well. You call yourselves believers of the religion of the only prophet, Muhammad (Peace be upon him). But then, where is your devotion? I see only 2 made the Haj this year, out of 4 million Musalmans. No brethren, I am in deep sorrow. In name, we are in majority, actually, you are still Kafirs. There is still a chance. Vote for me, or kill a kafir and you are granted a ticket to Paradise, with as many virgins you want."
Please vote in the best interest of our nation (hope to keep it Moralistic Conservative Democracy). Candidates are:
1) Shankar Bhattacharya: "The Hindus have tolerated this for too long. This land belongs to us, and now, we are a minority in this land. Vote for me, and you shall be rid of this Green Menace once and for all."
2) Myself: "Let us forget all internal divisions, because we are one and only one nation, that is Shonar Bangla (Golden Bengal). United we stand. I'll make you a superpower in half a year, if you decide to stay the way we are."
3) Yogi Ghutghutanondo: "We are all human beings in the end, let us live in peace internally, peace externally, and prosperity will come to you. We are all tired of unnecessary militarism in the name of nationalism. The true essence of Shonar Bangla, is promoting peace and prosperity."
4) Abdullah Ghanikhan Choudhury: "Comrades, this is our last chance to spread the word of Lenin. This government just looks after you before the election to get your vote, so that you are rich before the election. Rest of the year, you are living off charity. The choice is yours, either you vote for us, and we eliminate the burgeousie peacefully, or else, we take the resistance underground."
5) Mullah Muhammadia Hakim: "Brethren, we have finally achieved our goal. We are the majority today. However, I am disheartened as well. You call yourselves believers of the religion of the only prophet, Muhammad (Peace be upon him). But then, where is your devotion? I see only 2 made the Haj this year, out of 4 million Musalmans. No brethren, I am in deep sorrow. In name, we are in majority, actually, you are still Kafirs. There is still a chance. Vote for me, or kill a kafir and you are granted a ticket to Paradise, with as many virgins you want."