NationStates Jolt Archive


Renegade State for Sale

25-11-2003, 16:37
To whom it may concern,

For the past three decades, the United Socialist States of FDI Opportunity have not, to be frank, always been so united. The State of Borderland, in particular, has never been one to shy away from challenging the central authority (nor from constantly showing us up during drinking contests).
That distant region, despite our best efforts, has given us nothing but a generation of rough and ready drunk rebel rousers.

We poured billions into their infrastructure, bathed their cities in crooked money, offered them chances to get in on the action, sold them our women; and yet, they stubbornly persisted in maintaining what they called "their unique culture"(Our best scientists are currently hard at work trying to discover the meaning of this strange word).

So recently, we just decided to pour napalm on them instead. Our scientists discovered that unique cultures were particularly averse to aerial bombardment and, well, being on fire. FDI Opportunity emerged triumphant, but with a slight problem: a huge barren wasteland of a territory it no longer even wanted to think about.

Our Ruling Council thus proposes this open offer: like every other aspect of our fine land, we will put it up for sale to greedy, regulation-shy foreign investment. For sale:

The State of Borderland

Population: 47 (employed to sift through the rubble)

Geography: Barren (ideal for that "harmless testing/industry" the NIMBY crowd at home goes nuts about)

Infrastructure: Well, basically destroyed. But look on the bright side: all the more chance for you to model it according to your own needs (can provide reconstruction migrant labour on demand)

Living standards: Recently judged the best place to live in FDI Opportunity! No crime, no traffic, no pollution...in fact, not much of anything at all

So esteemed nations of this illustrious planet, we now welcome your bids.
Remember we welcome all sorts of bribes and gifts, be they blatant or subtle.

Please Contact:

The National Council for Border Region Pacification and Pet Management
United Socialist States of FDI Opportunity
Clanicka
25-11-2003, 16:39
Im interested, please hold.
CerebralReturns
25-11-2003, 17:23
The Dictatorship of Cr will proudly take it off your hands
25-11-2003, 20:36
:D 1# Offer :D

Bridgetownia demands that you give us the land. In return for five cases of uranium, 200 baskets, and 1,000Hutchs.
25-11-2003, 20:51
The State of Billybob Island is prepare to pay up to $20 billion dollars USD for this wasteland.
25-11-2003, 21:38
We will give you 2 turnips and a potatoe... we're not godmodding someone actually gave us the two turnips!!!
Northern Coast shores
26-11-2003, 04:01
we will give you 50 billion dollars for your land.
26-11-2003, 05:45
We are still accepting bids.

Remember: the more bribes and gifts, the better! We are quite particular to sickeningly extravagant banquets served on goldware by slaves riding elephants. Have we all forgotten the fine art of diplomacy? Hard currency can sometimes seem so cold, so harsh, so uncaring. Why not line it with silk?
Northern Coast shores
26-11-2003, 17:44
we also add 50,000 slaves and 500,000 pounds of silk to our offer.
ISAF
26-11-2003, 17:59
I can only offer a 4-star banquet at the Salvatore's, the finest resturant in Relic (our region). You will be transported via strech limos (which you may keep) with a military escort. The resurant has pulled out it's finest decorations for the occasion. After dinner, you will be escorted to Shoreside Vale, one of the better ports in ISAF. You will be taken VIA luxury yacht (120 ft in length, provided by Relicraft). The cruise will take you to the mainland section of ISAF (to part of the official continent of Relic), Then taken by Learjet 45 (With a gold andblue trim, furnished with only the finest), to the impressive Megalith Facility, where discussions may be held. Should all go well, a one trillion dollar trade will be made, and Borderlands will be in the hands of ISAF.

Sincerely, James T. McKnight
President of the Independent States
Northern Coast shores
27-11-2003, 02:45
We will also give you 5 trillion more dollars.
ISAF
27-11-2003, 03:28
Egad! 6 trillion bucks? I get about 42 trillion in taxes, but DAMN! you really want that nation don't you? I'll throw in 7 tril, any higher aint worth it.
27-11-2003, 08:54
Sold! The crescent moon thus goes to the man with the golden gun...what? oh, sorry, uhh... wrong auction.

Sold! The State of Borderland goes to the esteemed ISAF. We welcome the sumptuous banquet, not to mention the 7 trillion.

If you so desire, Borderland can "officially" remain part of our nation, even though you will have complete control over the territory. In that way, you can do as you please, and everything will be blamed on us (don't worry, we are used to that sort of thing).

Humbly yours,

The National Council for Sovereignty Privatization