25-11-2003, 16:37
To whom it may concern,
For the past three decades, the United Socialist States of FDI Opportunity have not, to be frank, always been so united. The State of Borderland, in particular, has never been one to shy away from challenging the central authority (nor from constantly showing us up during drinking contests).
That distant region, despite our best efforts, has given us nothing but a generation of rough and ready drunk rebel rousers.
We poured billions into their infrastructure, bathed their cities in crooked money, offered them chances to get in on the action, sold them our women; and yet, they stubbornly persisted in maintaining what they called "their unique culture"(Our best scientists are currently hard at work trying to discover the meaning of this strange word).
So recently, we just decided to pour napalm on them instead. Our scientists discovered that unique cultures were particularly averse to aerial bombardment and, well, being on fire. FDI Opportunity emerged triumphant, but with a slight problem: a huge barren wasteland of a territory it no longer even wanted to think about.
Our Ruling Council thus proposes this open offer: like every other aspect of our fine land, we will put it up for sale to greedy, regulation-shy foreign investment. For sale:
The State of Borderland
Population: 47 (employed to sift through the rubble)
Geography: Barren (ideal for that "harmless testing/industry" the NIMBY crowd at home goes nuts about)
Infrastructure: Well, basically destroyed. But look on the bright side: all the more chance for you to model it according to your own needs (can provide reconstruction migrant labour on demand)
Living standards: Recently judged the best place to live in FDI Opportunity! No crime, no traffic, no pollution...in fact, not much of anything at all
So esteemed nations of this illustrious planet, we now welcome your bids.
Remember we welcome all sorts of bribes and gifts, be they blatant or subtle.
Please Contact:
The National Council for Border Region Pacification and Pet Management
United Socialist States of FDI Opportunity
For the past three decades, the United Socialist States of FDI Opportunity have not, to be frank, always been so united. The State of Borderland, in particular, has never been one to shy away from challenging the central authority (nor from constantly showing us up during drinking contests).
That distant region, despite our best efforts, has given us nothing but a generation of rough and ready drunk rebel rousers.
We poured billions into their infrastructure, bathed their cities in crooked money, offered them chances to get in on the action, sold them our women; and yet, they stubbornly persisted in maintaining what they called "their unique culture"(Our best scientists are currently hard at work trying to discover the meaning of this strange word).
So recently, we just decided to pour napalm on them instead. Our scientists discovered that unique cultures were particularly averse to aerial bombardment and, well, being on fire. FDI Opportunity emerged triumphant, but with a slight problem: a huge barren wasteland of a territory it no longer even wanted to think about.
Our Ruling Council thus proposes this open offer: like every other aspect of our fine land, we will put it up for sale to greedy, regulation-shy foreign investment. For sale:
The State of Borderland
Population: 47 (employed to sift through the rubble)
Geography: Barren (ideal for that "harmless testing/industry" the NIMBY crowd at home goes nuts about)
Infrastructure: Well, basically destroyed. But look on the bright side: all the more chance for you to model it according to your own needs (can provide reconstruction migrant labour on demand)
Living standards: Recently judged the best place to live in FDI Opportunity! No crime, no traffic, no pollution...in fact, not much of anything at all
So esteemed nations of this illustrious planet, we now welcome your bids.
Remember we welcome all sorts of bribes and gifts, be they blatant or subtle.
Please Contact:
The National Council for Border Region Pacification and Pet Management
United Socialist States of FDI Opportunity