NationStates Jolt Archive

The agricultural ministry :cry: regrets to announce an outbreak of mad yeast disease in Cuparhead. All production of beer, and other fermented products, has ceased. (There's no bread either but let's just focus on the essentials).

President Sir General Paddy has sobered up enough to request international assistance. All beer welcome.

Farmer O'Paddy
Agriculture Minister

---Post deleted by NationStates Moderators---

.....rooters news agency feed.......

......The sober people of Cuparhead have sent their gratitude to the great citizens of Stupid Marriage for "getting a round in".

The situation continues to deteriorate, however, with the mass burnings of beer barrels and the torching of the occassional pub landlord now becoming a common sight across the country.

In a new development, it is reported that former international soccer stars George Notathisbest and Paul Downtomylastcoin have been spotted at the border with Culzean Avenue requesting refugee status in the nearest pub.......

ends/..

...as barrel burning takes hold in the countryside.

Like, hey dude. Looking over the border...it's like devastation.

You guys must be feeling low. My main man with the big ears tells me that the Cuparhead Parliament is asking for more booze.

Like this camera dude, he's sending pictures that are way grim with like grown men crying in their empty pint glasses.

Don't think we can do much about the booze but we can share a shit-load of weed with you if you're chillin, man.


Chilled out Dude, top dude, Culzean Avenue

Froggyliciousness is sending a Mama Phr0g class Super Carrier with a ton of beer inside it (a 500 fighter-hangar worth). It will be there shortly.

~Supreme Chancellor Keiran Halcyon

Hey dude, can we have some of that too?

We can give you some shit in retrun.

Your aid is much appreciated... hic...

Shwe're gldsh to have reshieved you conshingementntnent


hic

PresidsirPaddy Generalsh


hic

Hey dude, can we have some of that too?

We can give you some shit in retrun.

How about your entire military budget?

Huh.. uh... military dude?

I'm lost, man.

I'm offering the finest, brownest weed dude, good shit, y'know. We'd love to give some army dude this shit. Maybe, like, they'd see that it's just all a bad dream.

Don't need a sword to cut through flowers, oh no.

Whaever gets you through the night. Know what I'm saying?

well the boys in the lab sead we can send u the best Acid we got that should take ur peoples minds of the beer lose till the Aid comes in, free of charge and also we will send u our best Yeast of the southern provanice so u can make ur own beer.

Huh.. uh... military dude?

I'm lost, man.

I'm offering the finest, brownest weed dude, good shit, y'know. We'd love to give some army dude this shit. Maybe, like, they'd see that it's just all a bad dream.

Don't need a sword to cut through flowers, oh no.

Whaever gets you through the night. Know what I'm saying?

You can have it for free. *carrier sent*

..thanks for the super stuff, dude. We've sent our best boat riding over th waves....whooooaa.... with a top haul of weed for you guys.

Enjoy!

The Republic of Ancient Terra donates 2000 cases of Kahlua to Cuparhead, in the hopes of tiding your people over until you can get your beer production back up to scratch.

An intern bursts into the President's Office.

Intern: "Some nation called Cupahead has just run out of beer"

The President raises a curious eyebrow.

President: "So...let them eat cake"

Intern: "But sir their nation is dependant on regular drunkedness"

President: "Fine, fine. Send them ssome kind of aid package"

Intern: "Yes sir"

President: "And find me soem coffee...none of this decaff. What the hell is with that anyway?!"

Intern: "Ah-huh"

The Intern backs away slowly

TRANSLATION:

10,000 10 Gallon drums of Beer
5,000 5 Gallon drum of yeast.
200 Shot glasses
2,000 10 Gallon drums of Vodka.
50,000 Lemons.
200 Tonnes of salt.
10,000 Beer stines.
And 15,000 Home Brew Kits have been sent.

The nation of Guinness Extra Cold has just heard of this misfortunes of misfortunes. We are dispatching our good cheer squad and 1000 kegs of our finest stout, ale and lager to the distressed citizenry. We hope that this will prevent the population from resorting to human contact, conversation, spirituality and sobriety.

We at GEC believe in philanthropic pursuits and therefore pledge deliveries of alcohol to all the downtrodden and displaced. Its our role to ensure that refugees everywhere can be given the necessary beverages to momentarily forget their horrible lives.

- CEO and Dominar Olliver Mcfibbish of Guinness Extra Cold

We are willing to allow your brewers to use our facilities and export their produce to the home nation, after all nobody can brew a beer that way a Cuparhead likes it, except a Cuparhead, right?

The people of Cuparhead raise a glass to the generous international community for their support throughout the Mad Yeast Disease outbreak.

Master brewers have taken up the offer to brew in neighbouring countries to replenish the Cuparhead cellars with local beers and are grateful for use of the facilities. In the meantime, the Cuparhead public have acquired taste for trendy foreign beers and wish to sign trade agreements with former donor states to ensure their continued supply.

My sincere thanks to you.

Cheers

President Sir General Paddy

Eastern Bigtopia Is sending over 48,000 loafs of bread , "man cant live of beer alone" and its the real bread too the kind with big outsiders. We would have given more but the flood of the last few days has not let us sent as much as we would have liked.
Minister of food and drink.