NationStates Jolt Archive


Applecow Store 2

16-11-2003, 03:48
The region of applecow has recently come across a large surplus of assorted troops.

Skinny Englishman with a Crossbow
http://www.orangenet.org/images/crossbow.jpg
The cheap and efficient crossbower uses special space age technology to propel a arrow shaped projectile at extremely high speeds into the unsuspecting enemy. These are the highest of high tech and a result of years of R&D
Price: $20,000,
Units for sale: 120,000

Technologically Reanimated Organic Nobles
http://www.simplytaty.com/extrapict/tron.jpg
Do you want the great leaders of the past to lead your armys into battle? Well guess what you can have all that and more. Due to the newest technologicall advancements in cloning the Region of applecow has found a way to clone nobles of old and reanimate them with super duper results. Each noble comes with a mind control glowy helmet of death and a single AA battery for powering of the helmet.
Price:$1,000,000
Units for Sale: 1,000

Electric Rat
http://members.home.nl/fredmens/pikachu.gif
Genetically altered rat that has the power to create electrical fields around its body and do cool shaking movements. Your enemy will think AW CUTE LITTLE RAT and then the enemy will be dead as the electric rat gives it a hefy low voltage high amperage shock. Also great for powering electrical field units.
Price:$1,000.95
Units for Sale:12,000,000,000(they breed like no tommorow)

Specially Trained Incindiery Rednecks
http://erikfoto.com/redneck.jpeg
These troops are fresh from the hills of Izone and can destroy entire platoons of trees and other flammable substances. These troops are very well trained but due to their hideous looks and need for alcohol we are selling them for cheap.
Price: $12.50
Units Available:12,064

Chemical Transfer Truck(man not included)
http://www.ahajokes.com/cartoon/redneck.jpg
These trucks are great for transporting volatile chemicals such as beer to the battlegrounds.
Price:$12,000
Units Available:1203

Armored Personel Carrier Mk548
http://www.hillsdale.edu/academics/phil&rel/pix/humor/redneck/image013.jpg
Heavily armored trucks great for transporting electric rats and Incindiery Rednecks.
Price: $1,000,000
Units Available:245

The Trojan Truck Bomb
http://www.funone.com/2new/11/ttaxi/main.jpg
This truck will blend in with the surroundings but can carry a nuclear warhead right into the center of a city. Great for usage with Angry Black men with a gun, no longer for sale.
Price:$135
Units Available:12billion

Battleship Mk3
http://www.wackyzoo.com/0471.jpg
These specialized battleships will provide naval superiority for any country they work great in conjunction with pirates from our previous store.
Price:$20,000,000
Units Available: 12

Mobile Infantry Barracks/Command Station
http://www.joygreetings.com/images/redneckhome.jpg
Keep your commanders informed with the mobile command station. Equipped with the newest 386's your money can buy and even a direct tv dish for porno on the back.
Price:$1,000,043
Units Available:3342

Watchtower
http://www.mailgreeting.com/images/redneckpenthouse.jpg
IF you though NORAD was fancy you dont know anything. Each of these watchtowers has the capability to see 10miles and when produced in chains create a complete 360-degree LOS around your country. Buy in bulk for discounts.
Price:$1,000,0000,564
Ammount available: 343,123,765
16-11-2003, 03:58
Can't go wrong with a sterdy tower like that
16-11-2003, 04:07
Dem rednecks sure know how to build nice stuff. *Looks toward trailer outside* that'n needs anudder cinder block. You got'n fer me?
16-11-2003, 04:10
Yes indeed the people from the hills of Izone are good rednecks. At the current time we dont export cinderblocks since they are in high demand in the Region of Applecow.
16-11-2003, 04:14
how 'bout automatic toilet handle jigglers?
16-11-2003, 04:18
we might be able to scrounge up a few of those if you buy an item
16-11-2003, 04:20
We'll take 1 Skinny englishman for our "shooting tin cans - Which weapon is best?" Competitions.
16-11-2003, 16:38
He will be shipped over as quickly as possible in an armored truck. Your jiggle handles are in bubblewrap in the back.
16-11-2003, 23:03
Why is no one interested in our high quality products?
22-11-2003, 19:42
We have just recieved new shipments of all of these troops to fill the constant demand