NationStates Jolt Archive

11/12/03: Feeling ignored and shunned by the Five Civilized Nations, East Poingly officially declared war at 12:18 EST. The world community is shocked by this move from East Poingly, as this clearly starts a two-front war, plus, there seems to be little or no reason for this move.

"Look," stated the Prime Minister of East Poingly, "It's one thing to be ignored by the rest of the world due to our blatent civil rights offenses, and not-so-hot economy, but it's another thing to be particularly pointed out as ignored. All troops have been ordered to start having tons and tons of children to replenish the population as soon as possible."

I'm sorry, but you will most likely be ignored yet another time.

The Socialist Empire of Xanthal has declared war on East Poingly in response to their attack on our ally 5CN. A large Armada fleet has been sent to bombard East Poingly into submission from orbit.

that was a big mistake. you've already lost.

11/12/03: Official statement from the Prime Minister of East Poingly:
"Jesus, you think I like declaring war on everyone!? Hell, no, but, you know, we do what needs to be done. Ignoring the possibilty of weapons of mass destruction is clearly as much of an act of terrorism as creating those weapons to begin with. I mean, East Poingly can have such weapons because we are special, and that's what we do, but, hey, that's us. Your support of these radical nations leaves little or no choice, East Poingly must now declare war on Xanthal and Thunderstraat. I really don't like having to do this, but, jesus, this is going to suck."

11/12/03: Official statement from the Prime Minister of East Poingly:
"Euroslavia, if you are not with us, you are against us! I think you know, this means war. Damn, that's like 5 countries now...we're going to get our ass pounded into the ground."

The Xanthalian Imperial Armada has moved into East Poingly orbit and has commenced bombardment of government buildings with multidimensional disrupters and antimatter warheads. The bombardment will continue until the government is either completely obliterated or surrenders.

in declaring war on our ally xanthal you bring us into the conflict, please don't make me smite you

11/12/03: Official statement from the Prime Minister of East Poingly
"Fortunately, while our government offices and evil empire were smashed into the ground, most of the actual people in the country were off fighting wars somewhere. Infastructure be damned, as long as we have paste!

"Oh, and I guess according to government policy, East Poingly must declare war on Jitano too...damn, I really didn't want to have to do this."

we are massing our army, the fleet is being made ready,

Xanthal is currently unwilling to risk ground troops, so we will content ourselves with the destruction of EP government property.

we are more than willing to destroy this country and take it's ground

that was a big mistake. you've already lost.

Thank you Euroslavia! :D

That was the funniest thing I've heard all month!

We fully support the actions of our ally Jitano, but urge them to excercise caution in regards to innocent citizens. Xanthal has a policy of deliberately harming only government and military targets of our enemies, not the people who must live under them.

The Thunderstraat Earth Fleet, not currently occupied with Operation Fire Fight, moves into position above East Poingly and bombards whatever Xanthal hasn't destroyed already.

we will begin with spacial bombardments of their military facilities, it should commence in 5 NS day (minutes)

We object to the actions of Thunderstraat, as their blanket bombarding is killing large numbers of innocent civilians.

11/12/03: Official statement from the Prime Minister of East Poingly:
"First off, let me say, war is NOT declared on Ozymandias IV. They have a fine sense of humor, and evil tyrants seem to enjoy that kind of thing.

"As far as Xanthal goes, please stop being such a hypocrite. About 1,000 civilian casualties were counted in your last attack! We have temp workers to come in and clean those government buildings at night, you know? You think the all-mighty government would send GOVERNMENT employees to clean toilets, I think not! Such a task is more suited for the peon civilians of East Poingly. I digress, though, the fact of the matter is, Xanthal, your weapons are much more effective at killing the people than the government. Even if they are "smart weapons," you have no idea what you are looking for here in East Poingly! Please, little Timmy needs his cold medicine, and is afraid of a bomb falling on his head as he makes his way to corner store!"

I cant wait to see your country destroyed. I wish I could deploy troops at the moment, but wait....I really don't feel like it. You've got 5 other nations on your butt. No use wasting troops...

11/12/03, Official statement from the Prime Minister of Poingly:

"Did you ever play that game, Simcity? Did you ever just keep making disasters happen over and over? I know I did. Did I declare war on you, Euroslavia, yet? I think so, I forget...actually, I think it's 6 nations on my ass, maybe 7."

Oops! I missed...
Sorry about your third-largest city, Poingly...
Xanthal, it was an ACCIDENT.
We'll switch to bombarding your heartlands. (When we go to war, we go to WAR.)

I don't think you'll have a chance to attack 5CN.

11/12/03, Offical message from the Prime Minister of East Poingly:

"Third largest WHAT!? Look, East Poingly is the size of a postage stamp. Okay, I exaggerate, but we only really have one city. If you destroyed our 'third-largest city,' I hope you meant that cow over there that appears to now be dead, otherwise you got the wrong country, and omeone is going to be angry at you tomorrow morning when they wake up and see their third largest city is gone."

11/12/03, Official message from the Prime Minister of East Poingly:

"Please do not confuse East Poingly with our annoying neighbors in Poingly. They are peace-loving losers who wouldn't fight a mosquito. Damn, hippies. Pardon the typo in omitting 'East' from a government memo, that spokesperson has been fired, tortured, and killed."

In an unprecedented and never before thought of move, Esamopia sides with the nation of East Poingly, as they have done absolutely nothing to deserve their bombardments... for the sake of humanity (or whatever species you are,) please refrain from bombing tiny countries into the ground when they have done NOTHING.

Sure, they may have declared "war" on 5CN, but they have no capability of doing anything to harm 5CN, nor should their civilians be unfairly targetted because of the stupidity of someone in the Foreign Office... I would understand this sort of bombardment and troop deployment if they were a major nation, or if they in any way threatened 5CN (with more than words and a mere declaration of war they cannot back up.)

Hence, Esamopia demands all beligerents cease combat within 24 hours. Just think about it people! Why crush poor East Poingly? No reason... thought so.

What, oh crap, sorry Poingly...
The officers who carried out this bombardment have been disciplined.