NationStates Jolt Archive

Edolian Broadcasting Network (EBC) Nightly News
"The massive Edolian government-run pornography industry has moved today to wipe out competition from rival porn dealers in Eris Kallisti. In a move internationally condemned for its capitalistic ruthlessness, EdoliaPorn, the pornography wing of the government controlled Edolian International Trading and Economic Corporation (EITEC) devoted $5 billion dollars to buying stock in Eris Kallisti porn companies. The goal is to launch hostile take-overs of as many of their companies as possible. In the meantime, messages have been sent to famous Eris Kallisti porn stars and directors, offering high-paying jobs in Edolia. $15 billion has allocated to this project. The third wing of the campaign involves an additional $15 billion campaign to take control of international porn markets that Eris Kallisti dominates, giving Edolia still more control. Some analysts speculate that this move could be part of a wider campaign by EITEC to swtich to a more capitalistic international policy. EITEC has called upon other corporations to support EITEC in its venture in exchange for future economic aid and trade deals.

<<OOC: Military attacks initiated on Edolia by any nation other than those directly involved will be ignored. Economic warfare is fine but I would imagine that most nations really wouldn't care too much.>>

Try anything funny and we will OWN your porn industry. We don't have trillions on trillions of dollars in surplus for nothing, you know.

And if you try and take over Resi Pr0n Ltd., you will be invaded by armies of hookerbots. You have been warned.

*buys 51% of Kallistian Porn stock, or $1 trillion worth. Whichever is lower in cost*

*buys 51% of Kallistian Porn stock, or $1 trillion worth. Whichever is lower in cost*

$1 trillion? Are you insane? You've just 1. Crashed your economy. 2. Crashed his economy. Congratulations.

Im not too sure if I even have 1 trillion spare dollars and ive got 1.7 billion people....

$1 trillion? Are you insane? You've just 1. Crashed your economy. 2. Crashed his economy. Congratulations.People, people, you obvioiusly haven't been RPing with me very long if you don't think that we can spare a trillion. Aside from the fact that all the profits from our store (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=73452) (this link takes you to its fifth incarnation, not to mention the individual produc threads) have gone directly into our surplus, we also have the conquered territories of Bandonia and Defacto Russia, not to mention our Martian colony, feeding into our economy. We can afford a trillion, don'tchyaknow.

Besides, Eris Kallisti's industry is very important to us, and we will defend it with all of our wealth. Besides, I'm sure that the price for 51% of their stock falls under a trillion.

Resi, though I am wary of your claims to quadrillions of dollars, I will have to back you up on this one. Seeing as I've made 5 trillion in 5 days on my store, I know you easily have 1 trillion.

Resi, though I am wary of your claims to quadrillions of dollars, I will have to back you up on this one. Seeing as I've made 5 trillion in 5 days on my store, I know you easily have 1 trillion.((OOC: As well you should be wary of those claims. They come from nation sales, and I have limited their use to such))

<<OOC: Hmmm... I don't particularly want to contest these claims though it strikes me that far too many nations like to go on about their surpluses. Either way, I think that I'm going to stop this venture. The Edolian porn industry is already booming enough. We can quite easily share with Eris.>>

((OOC: sorry for not responding sooner. I've been ill... still kinda am))
http://cybersluagh.com/lynn/veronica23.jpghttp://www.cybersluagh.com/ErisKallisti/23.jpg
~*at an adult industry conferance in Eris Kallisti, at Golden Apple Studios*~

*The distributor of Golden Apple Productions Male Clone "David" #23 (who is also the minister of Discreet Operations), and the Owner of Golden Apple Productions, Miss Vitoria Jamieson, take the platform. It seemed a lot of the Kallistian porn stars and directors started demanding more pay. Victoria goes to the podium(sp?), with "David" #23 to her right*

I know this is very tempting to you all, but you must realize that with these people your just another number. Your jobs are secure with us, and I treat you practicaly like family. You know this, I know this... if you were just another number then I wouldn't know most of you on a first name, and -real- name basis. I own this comapny, and I will not see it fall over something so trivial as a few extra bucks in your pockets. *she sighs heavly* You want more money? Make more movies, sponser more products, make investments. I cannot afford to pay you much more untill the end of the year rolls around. I will offer a Winter Solstice raise to those who stay with us. If you want to leave, and abandon all your hard work, then goodbye. I put my blood sweat and tears into this company, you all know that. I've worked to make sure you all have the best health insurance around, great wages, and fair treatment. Go ahead... be another name under their belt... you'll be missed horribly, but there's only so much I can do right now....

*She looks over the crowd, her eyes looking almost hurt. A few people look a little ashamed, and a low murmuring starts over the crowd. They all knew Victoria cared about each and every one of them. After a moment a woman pushed her way towards the stage. She was the gorgeous IvyLynn Vater, one of the biggest names at Golden Apple Productions. She was also a known vampire of the Gangrel clan. Climbing up onto the stage next to Veronica she paused briefly before speaking to her*
http://cybersluagh.com/lynn/ivylynn/ivylynn03.jpg
Veronica *she addressed her boss by first name* I've been with this company from the start. I've seen it skyrocket through the roof, and I've seen it nearly crumble.... *She pulls out a paper from a folder* I'd like to show you this before you go any further though.

*Handing it to Veronica, the Satyr woman's jaw dropped. She recovered and looked up at IvyLynn for a moment*

it just came through the main office.

*Ivy smiled and let Veronica speak again. Clearing her throat Veronica handed the paper to "David" #23. He in turn photocopied the paper in a nearby machine and started handing out copies*

These are the quotes of our stocks. It seems Edolia has tried to buy up most of our stocks. Resi Corp has come in and helped us out though. what do you guys say... with all this happening, I'm sure we can beat them out, and if all else fails I doubt our Empress will put up with them much. She takes pride in this company almost as much as I do.

*the crowd starts to nod in agreement*

I'll make it even better... we'll have a convention held at my home, your all invited free of charge of course. We'll have contests and drawings, as well as oppertunities to meet your fans. The team bringing me the best product will get raises early plus the end of the year raise I offer all of you. No team bigger then 25, and the judges will be myself, "David" #25, IvyLynn, and possibly Eris herself if she's interested.

*The crowd cheered and Veronica grinned. The contest would bost sales and productivity a great deal. That would insure people got paid more in general. It would also help out quality. Veronica moved away from the microphone and sat on the edge of the stage so she could talk to people. She woudn't loose many people to Edolia after this. Most of the workers spend most of the day hanging out in the building, going over details*

People, people, you obvioiusly haven't been RPing with me very long if you don't think that we can spare a trillion. Aside from the fact that all the profits from our ridiculously retarded technology, we grossly abuse the concept of puppet nations and will keep making nations until we have a bigger GDP and army than anyone else.

<Edited for clarity>

People, people, you obvioiusly haven't been RPing with me very long if you don't think that we can spare a trillion. Aside from the fact that all the profits from our ridiculously retarded technology, we grossly abuse the concept of puppet nations and will keep making nations until we have a bigger GDP and army than anyone else.
<Edited for dumbassery>((OOC: Ah WV, is the concept of ignoring so alien to you that you must constantly pester nations on which you have bestowed that blessing? For the record, that is flaming, and I'd appreciate that you'd stop, thanks.

And also, let me take a moment to clarify on the puppet situation. After largescale criticisms of puppetwanking, I decided several weeks ago to give OOC control of my puppets to other people, while maintaining that they are ICly part of my empire. These nations now act autonomously, while I control their major actions (via telegram with the new owners). Now will you please can it and go away?))
IC:
*waits for a response from Edolia before making an official statement*
However...

Deep under the surface of Resi Island in a top secret laboritory that handles all incoming robots (as well as other things*), two scientists begin to chat over their work.
#405: "So when does 'Lady' Dawn want these ready?"
#593: "4:00, in two days time. All 200 of them."
#405: "Why the hell would she want 200 robots that look like floozies? D'you suppose she's a lesbian with really weird taste, or something?"
#593: "Naw, Dawn's not a lesbian. In fact, part of the reason she hates Narasagi so much is that Narasagi's a lesbian. Well, and a catperson. Dawn's just ultra-racist that way."
#405: "Then what's with all the hookerbots? Is she making a batchler party for Jai? He probably wouldn't appreciate it too much..."
#593: "I told ya once, I'll tell you again. The only idea I have of what these will be used for is that the memo came from the department of international affairs."
#405: "So what's that supposed to mean? These hookerbots could be used for any number of functions. Infultration, CovertOps, disgracing public officials, pre-empitive strikes... ...which one is it?"
#593: "Yes."