NationStates Jolt Archive

The Empire of Diablo_NL has put a new product up for sale to all nations.
http://www.collegiatechoice.com/god.jpg
God himself. That's right. Now you can smite your foes with godly powers from your own living room.
You can buy God for $1,999,999,999,999.99
But if you order via us we will even give you the Angel of Death for free.

But wait there's more. Order now and we will even give you the apple of Adam & Eve for no extra cost.

That's God, the Angel of Death and the apple of Adam & Eve for just $1,999,999,999,999.99

And better yet. The 100th customer get's the Garden of Eden absolutely free.

http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/grail/jpgs/god.jpg

Wow, a Godmode store that sells Gods... hmm...

Why buy God, you might ask?

http://www.dailyllama.com/news/images/god.GIF
Well, for one, God is omnipotent. No need to suddenly "discover" massive mineral deposits or work to pull inhabitable worlds out of your personal ass-space... get God to make them for you!

http://novaia.virtualave.net/foto/god.gif
God is the best FPS player and thus the best covert operations / black ops / elite commando ever to exist. Having God on your secret 1337 ninja team will ensure your victory!

I'm sorry, who exactly gave you permission to put me up for sale?

*smites agent and some random ppl who got in the way*

http://www.mormonum.org/pictures/jesus_appears_nephites.jpg
Jesus Descending from Heaven? Or Jesus-Shaped Nuke wiping out n00bs? :)

I will buy the god.

*Money wired*

How offensive.

WTC Capsule Corporation where did you find that!?!

WTC Capsule Corporation where did you find that!?!Jeez, i was just kidding... lol I thought it would be funny... a christ nuke lol Why wait for the second coming to burn all your enemies? detonate them now!

[/blasphemy] :P

No, I was talking about the picture... just gave me a thought, maybe there are other Mormons on NS...

No, I was talking about the picture... just gave me a thought, maybe there are other Mormons on NS...lol A few ;)

are you? (it seems obvious, but I'm making sure)

are you? (it seems obvious, but I'm making sure)Yep! Just your average LDS Eagle Scout ;)

I'm sorry, who exactly gave you permission to put me up for sale?

*smites agent and some random ppl who got in the way*
Hey, you ain't God. You didn't capitalize "me" or speak in outmoded but very formal forms of speech.

Hehe (don't I wish). Well, Mormon or not, I still may kick your butt (notice the "butt" instead of a different possible word), my brother-in-the-gospel.

I will buy the god.

*Money wired*
*God sent... well... actually, It was already there, so you don't have to pay shipping. Isn't that great?*

Oh, and it's The God, with capital letters. Not "the god."

I will buy the god.

*Money wired*

:arrow: :lol:

I'd like to buy 2 gods. Do they come with a heaven, or do I need to furnish one from my country's resources?

I will buy the god.

*Money wired*

:arrow: :lol:
*God sent... well... actually, It was already there, so you don't have to pay shipping. Isn't that great?*

Oh, and it's The God, with capital letters. Not "the god."

***

I'd like to buy 2 gods. Do they come with a heaven, or do I need to furnish one from my country's resources?
You misunderstand. There is but One God, but there's an infinite amount of It so we can sell as much as we want. If you want to buy two shares of God for redundancy, we can do that.

And... why would It have to come with a heaven or you furnish one? Just get It to make another one. Isn't that the point?

Caen I n00k all my enmys!>!?now!??

w00t i declar ware one the werld!!!!!!!

Does it come with a free steak knife?

No, I was talking about the picture... just gave me a thought, maybe there are other Mormons on NS...

Quite possibly ... *coughs politely* Though some, perhaps, operate on a different level than others.

Caen I n00k all my enmys!>!?now!??

w00t i declar ware one the werld!!!!!!!
Not yet... I haven't seen you *wire cash* yet...

EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT!

***

Does it come with a free steak knife?
If you want a free steak knife, just get It to conjure one up for you.

No, I was talking about the picture... just gave me a thought, maybe there are other Mormons on NS...

Quite possibly ... *coughs politely* Though some, perhaps, operate on a different level than others.Different Level :?: :?: :!:

I have decided to cancel my order, as my nation's budget comes up $3.52 short of being able to purchase God.

Do you have a smaller, less expensive model?

Hmm... God-Lite - what an idea.

Ooh! 1 for me!

Watch out Menelmacar 8) 8) 8)

(I am Jaratia! And buying this with money contributed by Jaratia and my puppet brothers)

No, I was talking about the picture... just gave me a thought, maybe there are other Mormons on NS...

*Waves hand*

I think I'll save my money and just wait to become a god myself.

Sure, that involves long periods of time and death and stuff, but afterwards you've got all eternity and the laws of physics to mess with!

Whoa! This is cool!
I think there is a region for Mormons, but they don't RP... oh well, I wouldn't want to leave my empire anyway.

Whoa! This is cool!
I think there is a region for Mormons, but they don't RP... oh well, I wouldn't want to leave my empire anyway.

I will buy god, the apple and the angel of death and i shall wire the money upon confirmation of order

I have decided to cancel my order, as my nation's budget comes up $3.52 short of being able to purchase God.

Do you have a smaller, less expensive model?
[MAJOR blasphemy coming up]

Hrmm... we do hope to eventually expand into the realm of Corporeal Avatar (your choice of Jesus or Krishna) and Holy Spirit. Some would say that they're all one in the same, but we know better.

[/blasphemy]

***

ID IO T, please wire funds.

***

Weemon0, order confirmed.

*wonders for a moment and hopes no one is serious with these orders*

*cough* The official opinion of the Empire of Scientism is that there is no such thing as god, per se. Bur we are willing to buy if you have something which could qualify. I mean we want to study it, we are a nation of scientists after all. It's all for scientific purpuses, of course... O.K., maybe it's not 100% scientific. Never mind! *wire chash*

| w4n7 29473759837659375 g0ds!1111 h0w /\/\uch wi11 dis cos7??

| WILL N00K JOO 4LL 4ND W1N NS!1111111111 :twisted: :twisted:

No, I was talking about the picture... just gave me a thought, maybe there are other Mormons on NS...

*Waves hand*

I think I'll save my money and just wait to become a god myself.

Sure, that involves long periods of time and death and stuff, but afterwards you've got all eternity and the laws of physics to mess with!sounds good to me. i wonder if we're allowed to be Celestial Gods in NS :P

*cough* The official opinion of the Empire of Scientism is that there is no such thing as god, per se. Bur we are willing to buy if you have something which could qualify. I mean we want to study it, we are a nation of scientists after all. It's all for scientific purpuses, of course... O.K., maybe it's not 100% scientific. Never mind! *wire chash*
Hrmm... we've got "chash."

*Ghod sent*

***

| w4n7 29473759837659375 g0ds!1111 h0w /\/\uch wi11 dis cos7??
That comes to...

_29473759837659375
x________________2
$58947519675318750.00 trillion minus some change.

Please send a metric f*ckton of cash.

*s3nd5 4 f3\/\/ p33n13s*

is di5 3n0ugh?///? :P i \/\/4n7 my n00bi5h g0d /\/0w!1111

:D :) :( :o :shock: :? 8) :lol: :x :P :oops: :cry: :evil: :twisted: :roll: :wink: :!: :?: :idea: :arrow:

*Funds wired*

(I dunno. I might be serious, we'll just have to wait and see... 8) 8) 8) )

sounds good to me. i wonder if we're allowed to be Celestial Gods in NS :P
That would be awesome.

Bump for humor.

If only i had god :twisted: Then i could take care of the national defecit caused by me buying god 8)
-Cash Wired-

Hey. Buy God now and get a nifty keychain.