NationStates Jolt Archive


Top secret invention...

29-10-2003, 02:29
Needs investors! The national research labs of SIH are working on something really "nifty" and promise that it will change the way all sorts of things from warfare to cleaning your underwear are done!

We offer production rights, blue-prints and a functional prototype to any nation that will invest more than 12.5 million in this venture.

When asked to describe his product one of the lead engineers said "it's a secret"
29-10-2003, 02:29
OMG, Did you finally finish the Cheesham Armor?
29-10-2003, 02:30
we invest 12,500,000.01 dollars just in case its a fake......
29-10-2003, 02:31
we invest 12,500,000.01 dollars just in case its a fake......

Thank you sir! Your prototype, and blue-prints will be shipped at a slighly later date. You won't be disapointed!
29-10-2003, 02:33
---Post deleted by NationStates Moderators---
Eredron
29-10-2003, 03:58
:?

We will donate 20,000,000 to this project.

:?
29-10-2003, 04:02
I hope its not going to be as lame as that stupid segway 5 million dollar POS scooter that was hyped the same way IRL!!
Froggyliciousness
29-10-2003, 04:09
Needs investors! The national research labs of SIH are working on something really "nifty" and promise that it will change the way all sorts of things from warfare to cleaning your underwear are done!

We offer production rights, blue-prints and a functional prototype to any nation that will invest more than 12.5 million in this venture.

When asked to describe his product one of the lead engineers said "it's a secret"

I'll invest 50 mil.
Seversky
29-10-2003, 04:11
Here's 100 million. I will hunt you down and kill you if you rip me off.
Guanyu
29-10-2003, 04:46
I'm in for 50 million. I think there have been enough threats of retaliation already for the point to be understood, so I won't post one.
29-10-2003, 05:17
Thank you everyone who donated so far! With your funds we've been able to expedite the research and it will be done shortly (sometime tommorow evening "real life").

Thanks again, and I would still appreciate continued financial support from other nations.
29-10-2003, 05:22
I'll buy 1 for 50 million dollars.
Steel Butterfly
29-10-2003, 05:32
meatloaf
29-10-2003, 05:41
meatloaf

It's MagicChina... remember me?
29-10-2003, 05:46
Hhhmmm....40 million
Steel Butterfly
29-10-2003, 05:58
meatloaf

It's MagicChina... remember me?

yep
29-10-2003, 06:09
OC will donate $25,000,000US to this project, however it warns SIH that[insert generic retal threat here] will happen if it's BSing everyone
29-10-2003, 06:32
ill give 30 million
what the hell
Bereza
29-10-2003, 07:27
i will spy on it to see if it's really worth investing.

hey, for all we know, you're just spending it on one huge drinking binge, and building a sculpture out of the bottles....held together with the vomit that results
29-10-2003, 07:29
The reason its a secret is because it probably sucks.
The Resi Corporation
29-10-2003, 08:32
I'll invest $1 billion.

I expect a very high payout. Should this be a scam, you will be invaded. You have been warned.
30-10-2003, 00:02
The reason its a secret is because it probably sucks.

Well, with that attitude you won't be in on it! neener neener.

edit: Resi Corporation, 1 billion far exceeds the scope of the project. 900 million is returned to you.
Bereza
30-10-2003, 07:26
the spies have returned...

...good stuff you're making. they left a couple of suitcases containing 13 bil. enjoy.
30-10-2003, 07:52
$12,500,000.00000000000000000000001 Million Wired!
You Better Not Disappont Us Or'll You'll be Sorry!
30-10-2003, 07:54
Though we are a bit weary of investing in mystery projects, we will donate 10 million in hopes that it is something that can benefit humanity as a whole.
30-10-2003, 22:20
The engineering team working on the "top secret" project finally revealed their results today! It was a wonderous success!!

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the "Eugenicizer"! You simply hook the device up to your head and genitals and the highly advanced software dertermines when you're about to do somethng stupid (for example, investing large amounts of money in a "nifty" invention, sight unseen ;)) and delivers a powerful electric shock to your genitals.

People who are repeatedly stupid, remove themselves from the gene-pool, while those who have hope will learn to avoid the painful shocks to the nuts.
CoreWorlds
30-10-2003, 22:26
WHA---? Glad i didn't send any cash, then. Of course, I'll help invade with you guys and take some cash. :twisted:
30-10-2003, 22:28
your forces are already gearing up for a war (hint hint, no peace in shildonia, i'll telegram u my forces :P)
30-10-2003, 22:28
Why the invasion? Didn't I deliver as promised? If you recall, I didn't promise much.
Kahta
30-10-2003, 22:32
Well, I can't wait to go boating on "Steve is Handsome Sea". I would recomend that no one send troops there, someone will probobly nuke the entire country.
Kahta
30-10-2003, 22:35
Well, I can't wait to go boating on "Steve is Handsome Sea". I would recomend that no one send troops there, someone will probobly nuke the entire country.
CoreWorlds
30-10-2003, 22:46
Ok. I'll just give you the bird, and be on my way. I don't have the forces for a two-front war, anyway.
Bereza
30-10-2003, 23:31
we expect a handsome return on our investment
31-10-2003, 04:11
we expect a handsome return on our investment

Indeed? We sent you a prototype and authorized production rights just as we had promised. Unfortunately, when you invest in highly speculative ventures such as this, you may be personally disapointed, however I by no means ripped anybody off.

-Legal coucil of SIH
The Resi Corporation
31-10-2003, 04:30
We expect a full return of the cash that we have invested in the project, or you will suffer our wrath. Something along the lines of an ortillary bombardment sounds about right.

You have 48 hours to comply.
http://invisionfree.com:54/135/37/upload/p129.jpg
Dawn Kradii, Secretary of the CEO
Resi Corp.
Member of the Corporate Coalition
Member of the RGGA
Namekeeper of S.C.O.R.E.
Member of C.A.G.E.D.
Member of "the Alliance"
Discoverer of the "Corporate Islands (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/page=display_region/region=corporate_islands)" region
Visit the Resi Corporation's Marketplace (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=73452)!
31-10-2003, 04:33
I am not impressed by extortion.

Just be happy I returned 90% of your original investment. Furthermore, military action against me would result in a much larger expenditure than 100 million.
The Resi Corporation
31-10-2003, 04:45
I am not impressed by extortion.

Just be happy I returned 90% of your original investment. Furthermore, military action against me would result in a much larger expenditure than 100 million.True. We accept the 90% that you have now given back to us, and do not wish for more. The threat has been called off.

Oh, and one shot of an ortillary cannon wouldn't cost $100 million. About five shots would cost $100 million. We'd probably need ten shots (in the right places) to decimate your nation.
Vrak
31-10-2003, 04:53
On a park bench in Vrak, two old men struck up a conversation after redaing an amusing newspaper article.

"So let me get this straight. One country says invest in a top secret project that I'm working on and others send millions of dollars without even asking why and what it's about?"
"That's right."
"What did that one famous human say...ah, I can't remember his name."
"P.T. Barnum."
"Yes, thank you. There's a sucker born every minute."
"There sure is."
31-10-2003, 05:20
Those of you who actually invested in this wierd product, be sure to use it!You'll need it! :D
31-10-2003, 05:43
We demand 100% be refunded back to us or we will turn your country int othe newest attraction ' Lake Steve is handsome ' ! You have 12 hours to comply or 150 Nuclear ICBM will pound your nation.
31-10-2003, 05:47
Your demand has been filed with the goverment, we will get back to you as soon as possible, which will be never.

No money will be returned, your prototype and blue-prints are in the mail.

edit: I see you have thretened me will nuclear ICBMs, don't you know that 150 missiles of that sort would cost you far more than 12.5 million and a fraction of a penny?

Furthermore, don't doubt my capacity for self-defense. I am many things, but not a paper dragon.
31-10-2003, 05:50
Today a wondeful day as 150 missile silos are armed and ready to create a big lake. Spy satelites atek pictures for the before and after mural. After radition is cleaned up we will sell land for 15$ an acre Enjoy!
Vrak
31-10-2003, 06:07
OOC: Looks like Steve is being threatened by the grammatically-challenged! Hide Steve!

edit: I realize LoA that English may not be your first language so if that's true, then I withdraw this particular line of mockery. But still, nuking someone because he bilked you out of some cash? Yeesh...
31-10-2003, 08:06
Actually I can speak english and do have grammer. And he is a menace to society
31-10-2003, 08:16
We arent particularly happy over this turn of events, as Buri is currently missing over a billion yo-yos, and this only worsens our economy. But what really concerns me, is that you spent hundreds of millions on this, when it doesnt seem it would cost nearly that much. While a refund would be wonderful, we would rather have a set of the spending records of this project.
31-10-2003, 08:26
Hey, he provided a product. It's a legal sale.
Vrak
31-10-2003, 08:28
Actually I can speak english and do have grammer. And he is a menace to society

OOC: Steve, this is your opposition. Be afraid. :)
31-10-2003, 08:40
We just want our money back and shut up Vrak
Vrak
31-10-2003, 08:42
OOC:

I've got a "top secret" project in the works...
31-10-2003, 08:46
GFU

good for you
31-10-2003, 08:56
31-10-2003, 08:56
31-10-2003, 08:59
OOC: wahahahaha...suckers!!! if you hadn't part with your money, giving your complet trust to an INCOMPLETE, dumb(?) and vague TOP-SECRET project then all of you wouldn't be looking glum as through daddy wouldn't let you push the shiny red button down the hall... :lol:

oh well, easy come, easy go...as they say... :lol:

oh yeah, haven't you notice that from the start, this project looks like a motherfucker of a scam??? hmmm, not using logic or common sense aren't we these days?... :lol:

good luck bombing stevie...after all, it's the least you could do...suckers!!! :lol:
01-11-2003, 01:07
We arent particularly happy over this turn of events, as Buri is currently missing over a billion yo-yos, and this only worsens our economy. But what really concerns me, is that you spent hundreds of millions on this, when it doesnt seem it would cost nearly that much. While a refund would be wonderful, we would rather have a set of the spending records of this project.

I'm sorry that you aren't happy with your product, we however have been making a tidy profit marketing the device. Seems it's quite popular with the S&M crowd.

This is how the money was spent:

1 mil: R&D, developing the power supply for the electric shock to the nuts, and coding the software that can tell if you're going to do something stupid.

The rest: My fee as an advisor, I am the president of a large, powerful nation and my time is valuable.
01-11-2003, 03:05
I had a hunch that was were the rest of it went...
01-11-2003, 03:11
im sending 100 million, and if you are lieing about this, we will hunt your ass down and kill you.
Bereza
01-11-2003, 06:33
we expect a handsome return on our investment

Indeed? We sent you a prototype and authorized production rights just as we had promised. Unfortunately, when you invest in highly speculative ventures such as this, you may be personally disapointed, however I by no means ripped anybody off.

-Legal coucil of SIH

you did?

oh...we must not've gotten it yet. this is by no means a threat, anyway.
01-11-2003, 08:58
im sending 100 million, and if you are lieing about this, we will hunt your ass down and kill you.

Ha! Timing is everything my friend.

I will accept the 100 million though.
Froggyliciousness
01-11-2003, 19:52
Haha, sucker? Not us. We're taking this code and putting it into our ionized beam gun thingys i can't remember the name that we bought. It works great! Now it senses if the gun does anything stupid, like spontaineously combust, or blow the soldier's head off. You, my friend, are the sucker.


~Supreme Chancellor Keiran Halcyon
Copiosa Scotia
02-11-2003, 03:26
Steve, with your permission, we'd like to temporarily deploy several of our ABDFL anti-missile aircraft to your country, free of charge, in case a sore loser decides to try and blow you up. You get protected, and we might finally get a chance to test the aircraft in a combat situation. It's a win-win situation.

- Andrew Kane, Secretary of Security, Enforcement, and Defense
Bereza
02-11-2003, 15:25
hmmm...wonder if we can do the same...

...except with something more like half a million fully supported troops, a few thousand planes, and a sizable fleet. we've also got hardware that remains to be battle-tested, and our military wants some action anyway.