NationStates Jolt Archive

There has recently been a great deal of demand for HP weapons. We have thus decided to cave in and sell our previously top secret sauce based weapons (if you consider my nation too new to be selling weapons please ignore this rather than yelling "n00b" and such)

Sauce Launcher

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:xCuBSjBZGL4C:www.i-kirk.info/tales/rpg.gif

The fundamental piece of technology required to utilise HPSaucian technology. Based on the RPG launcher, these tubes can shoot bottles of sauce over a comparable distance to their precursor. Relatively easy to use, if your troops are capable of handling a RPG then they will certainly be able to use this.

Price: $4000 dollars each

Basic Sauce

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:I4oHxgCgvOUC:www.worldoftile.com/Scientific

Very similar to standard run of the mill barbecue sauce, often found on ribs. On its own this sauce projectile is not very damaging, merely annoying, but when combined with Bees in a Jar (TM) it becomes the trigger for an onslaught of insect stings.

Price: $1.25 a bottle

Bees in a jar

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:2YRSpRPMMWIC:micha.virtualave.net/pics/bees

This trademarked invention from HPSaucian scientists allows the potential of Basic Sauce to be maximised. Each jar comes with an average of 30 bees.

Price: $10 a jar

Demo-Hot Sauce

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:7EV2-Jh_vpkC:www2.york.ac.uk/depts/phys/lectures/iop/images

This sauce, brewed using a high concentration of HPSaucian Exploding Chillies, is extremely volatile and explodes on impact. Do not shake.

Price: $500 a bottle

Noxious Sauce

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:JVjV6hH2_FUC:alpha.nsula.edu/departments/

Sauce 6 months past its sell by date. A good substitute for toxic gas.

Price: $400 a bottle

Sauce Powered Robot

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:IHxBh-HitLAC:wally.pgbco.com/images/redrobot.jpg

A high-tech robot powered using hot sauce based batteries. Has karate chop action and five realistic sounds and phrases including "Grrr... I'm a robot" and "Fear me puny Humans".
Please note that the robot is one foot tall and made of lego.
Small pieces inside. Age 7 and up.

Price: $19.99

Saucologically Enhanced Monkey

http://www.de2files.com/screenshots/11/others/dx2_concept_4.jpg

Monkeys that have had saucological and cybernetic improvements made. Not made of lego. Liable to claw face off. Likes bananas. Also comes in Presidential variety (see below).

http://drpichost.free-host.com/grossgum.jpg

$5 or best offer

Sauce Batteries

http://drpichost.free-host.com/battery.jpg

Tired of HPSauce products that power down only hours after you bought them? Well you need HPSauce Explosive Chille powered batteries. Come in two sizes, regular and really, really big.

Warning: May explode under pressure, heat, cold, light, darkness, in contact with water, in contact with air or when fitted into any HPSauce product.

$1 each

*bump*

I'll take ten Sauce Robots!


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Duke Solomon Klonor
Founder: Galactic Alliance
Founder: Inter-Stellar Alliance Organization (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=82472)
Member: Extra-Solar Union of Systems (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=82439)
Member: StarCon Space Treaty Organization (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=81934)
Member: The New Jewish Alliance
http://esus.illspirit.co.uk/esusmember.gif
http://hometown.aol.com/jbk405/images/ksig4.jpeg (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=59081)

send me 100000 of those robot

On behalf of the Valonian Sauce Emporium, we would like to order 100.000 bottles of "basic sauce" and 500 Sauce Robots for displays in marketing campaigns in supermarkets.

Double post 4 life

*Ships vast quantities of robots and sauce*

Simak Woul like to order 500 for placement around It's capitols palace

Your prices are very good, I must admit they are very tempting, but they seem too good to be true. Is this some sort of international sauce ring? I would like proof. I want to try the sauce robot free for 30 days before ordering.


The Great and Glorious
Tunashirt :twisted:

*Ship sauce tech to Simak*

*Sends 30 day Trial Robot to Tunashirt*

I would like 100,000 bees in a jar please, one million USD wired apon confermation

*receives trial Robot*

Very nice I must say. It is very roboty and has metal and stuff. It looks like it is a very good deal. I will purchase 500 of these machines of pure destruction. With these Robots along with my army of mulleteers, I shall be safe from the threat of invasion. My gratitude and money go with you.


The Great and Glorious
Tunashirt :twisted:

*Bees in jars shipped*

To Tunashirt:

Thank you for you order however it must be noted that the Robots are not "machines of pure destruction" and any further attempt to characterise them as such will be met with punative legal action.

Signed: El Lawyer Magnifico de HPSauce

Oh but they are machines of pure destruction. I tested the trial Robot you sent me against my most elite mullet army fighter and it confused my mulleteer to the point of death. He died trying to figure out this new weapon I've added to my force. Anything that can kill my most elite in my army of mullets is nothing but a machine of pure destruction. How else could you describe it? A machine of pure sauciness? It does not even begin to describe it's power!! HAHAHAHAHAHA, the power is making me mad!! Mad I say!! I want to purchase another 500!

The Great and Glorious
Tunashirt :twisted:

LOL.

*bump*

*bump*

*bump*

*bump* Oh come on, its great stuff at low low prices! What more could you want?

We will purchase 100 sauce launchers with ammo. They will work well for riot control. Stand aside pepper spray, BBQ sauce is on the way. Wait till that gets in their eyes.

*Sends launchers and sauce*

Noxious Sauce seems like a potent chemical weapon, we would like 10000 bottles. Money wired.

*Ships goods*

It is the opinion of Aleph Strata that Sauce Technology represents a great technological advancement over, erm, well, non-sauce based technology. As such, in order to replace our conventional weapons, we would like to order:

1,500 Sauce Launchers - $6 million

75,000 bottles of Demo-Hot Sauce - $37.5 million
" we hope to warm up relations with hostile nations "
(50 bottles for every launcher)

37,500 bottles of Noxious Sauce - $15 million
" they'll be gagging all the way to the surrender signing "
(25 bottles for every launcher)

That comes to a total of 58.5 million. The money will be wired as soon as you confirm. We would also be interested in aquiring the plans in order to continue to produce your secret sauces here to replenish our supplies. We would not resell your sauces.

:D :lol: :lol: :D :lol: :D

We will ship the weapons but we are afraid that we cannot detail their construction, the sauce is as much our religion as our military strength. We cannot share the technology.

Not wanting to share your sauce recipies is understandable. Aleph Strata's millitary looks forward to receiving our sauce and launchers.

((OOC: You should really check this thread and confirm orders more often. I posted my order on Nov. 2nd and it is now Nov. 15th. 13 days later.))

Sauce Powered Robot

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:IHxBh-HitLAC:wally.pgbco.com/images/redrobot.jpg

A high-tech robot powered using hot sauce based batteries. Has karate chop action and five realistic sounds and phrases including "Grrr... I'm a robot" and "Fear me puny Humans".
Please note that the robot is one foot tall and made of lego.
Small pieces inside. Age 7 and up.

Price: $19.99

Would you consider selling some hot sauce based batteries? Or do we have to dismember the robots and extract their batteries? We don't really want to deal with all the robotic rights protesters, so please consider selling some batteries separatly.

Aleph Strata

New Products now available:

Saucologically Enhanced Monkey
Sauce Batteries

See the initial post for details and prices.

No one wants this cool stuff?

Whatever.