NationStates Jolt Archive


Godmodish n00b WMD for sale

19-10-2003, 22:08
\/\/4|2|\|||\|6, 73|-| |-`|-|0ll0\/\/||\|G Iz 7o b3 r3d w|7h t0|_|nG3 P|-|1rm1ly In Ch33k

*activating traslator*

*beep*

*beep*

*translator activated, translating from noobian to english*

*returning to news cast, already in progress*

Therefore, we have decided that a program to produce Weapons of Mass Destruction are nessisary to retain our possition in the world as existing. In light of this revelation, we have looked into purchasing a nuclear weapons program, but have found costs were too high, we have sought biological weapons, but have found them to be as lethal to our nation as to our foes. We have developed simple chemical weapons, but find them messy, and disheartening to clean up after. . . with this in mind, the Noobish government has looked inward at what we have as far as potential deadly weapons. . . the following is not for the faint of heart, but are terrible against enemy troops on the fields of war.

(all prices in NS standard)

Angsty Teenager Depressing Poetry .25 per line

read this over a loudspeaker, and even the most battlehardened soldiers will curl into curl into a ball and wimper like little childeren, and scattered over towns, will cause entire populations to become depressed and angsty, and anyone who has raised a teenager will tell you how horrible that is.



Photoshoped pictures of your enemy's leaders engaging in "compromising" situations. 50 dollars a page

printerpaper, .10 cents a page

Photoshop, 35 dollars

enemy troops gouging their eyes out after seeing doctored pictures of thier morbidly obese generals engaging in homoerotic activities?

Priceless, there are some things money can't buy, for everyhting else, there are Noobish WMD


l33t sp34k
By making even the simple task of reading your losses excrusiatingly painful, larger nations will cringe and beg for mercy before the awsome power of l33t speak, translations are availible in three ways.

basic l33t - a simple number to letter transition (w3 0wn j00) - 5 per line

advanced l33t - symbols and numbers, along with more slang (j00 b33|\| pwnzed!!!) 20 per line


Uber l33t - an ungoddly mess of letters, numbers, symbols and nigh uninteligible bablings, readibly only by the truly n00bish (h4|-|aH44, 1 0|\|550|23|> J00!! 4l1 J00|2 b0><0|2z 4|23 |33110|\|6 2 |\/|3!!!11111oneoneone ) 50 per line


The Infamous Ignore $125

tired of always being ignored?

Want to give it right back when your nation is attacked for no good reason? have we got the product for you. A steel toed boot.

easily applied to the solution, simply slip the boot on, and proced to kick your attacker in the groin. Problem solved.

*not resoncible for the Ignore Boot not working if you've pissed off a larger nation who has come for your manhood*

Coming soon
Space Fleets
n00by weapons
the Godmodding capital ship, the Ubber Super Dreadnaught Godmod
a Godmodding navy
a Godmodding Airforce
Package deals

*beep*

*translation link closed*

j00 m4y n0\/\/ |23|\/|0v3 j00r t0|_|n63 ph|20m j00r c|-|33|<

*end transmition
19-10-2003, 22:23
OMFGZ J00 St00p1D L4m3R n00B!!!11!!!1!!!!11!!@one!!1
ISAF
19-10-2003, 22:30
\/\/|-|Y |)0 J00 +@|K !|\| 1337?
19-10-2003, 22:37
\/\/|-|Y |)0 J00 +@|K !|\| 1337?
B3K4|_|Z3 H3 I5 4 G0|)/\/\0|)|)I|\|G |\|00B... |)I|) j00 /\/\I55 7H47???/??/???

(Translator active, noobish-->English translation beginning)

Because he's a godmodding noob... Did you miss that? (After all, it's in his name...)

(Translation finished)
20-10-2003, 12:09
The n00b nation extends a greetings to those who also speak the n00b language of 1337. Seeing as how our entire population is composed of 13 year old males, AOL users, windows users who belive themselves to be "l33t h4x0rs" and people who generaly would be considered a n00b, we were afraid for a moment that no one sharing our n00bish qualities would be found outside our boarders. As a token of our good will, 100,000 nukes have been shiped along with a nice fruit basket to each of your leaders, we hope you particulary enjoy the n00by whine, as this year was an excelent vintage.
Lapse
20-10-2003, 12:23
whoa i gotta submit this into the ns awards
Taka
20-10-2003, 12:26
*blink blink*

I'll second that submision. . . though this leaves me wondering WTF!? more than anything else. . .

*edit* I was about to flame about the nukes, then I looked at his currency. . . fitting somehow */edit*
20-10-2003, 12:46
i suggest no one goes in war with this country because they will end up using Aimbots, wall hack and stuff :D :lol:
Zhudor
20-10-2003, 12:56
You have mail!

from: 1337hax0r123456 at hotmail.com
(unencrypted, highest priority, world-readable, mailer: M$ Outlook)

TOP SECRET!!!!!!1!1!!!!

|v|3 6|2337 Y0|_|, F3110|v| N00Bz! |v|3 |v|@N7 70 0|2|)3|2 7|-||233 |°|-|070z @N|) 5|x |°03Mz. |°1@53 @|50 53N|) +3|-| N00Kz!

--

1337|-|4x0|2

<5 lines of freemail-Ads>

Attachment: naughty_dancer.vbs (virus)

(message sent 10 times to trick recipient into sending 10*100000 NOOKS)
Taka
20-10-2003, 15:10
*bats feebly at the l33t while wimpering* make it stop. . . oh god, my brain. . . make it stop.

on the up side, it seems there is anouther n00bish weapon of mass distraction, posting entire wars in l33t. . .

oh the humanity.
Sketch
20-10-2003, 17:03
Oh god oh god oh god {rinse, wash repeat}

How the hell do you guys come up with this "leet speak"? I can barely follow it much less write in it.

btw....mad funny
20-10-2003, 18:02
((OOC: having a 13 year old brother that models himself a computer hacker, and yet manages to get locked out of his XP box. . . thanks, glad you like it, I figured NS could use a bit of lightening up from time to time))

j0or n4s|_|n r0x0r5!!11oneone w3 53|\||> j00 N0o|<z !!111 PWNG!!111one

*beep*
*translation active*

We thank you for your thoughtful gift, and your nukes have been procured and sent, unfortunatly we are running out of fruit baskets, however we would like to propose a defence alliance between our fellow n00bs.

*a one gigaton nuke has been wired to your account*

*please note, 100 nukes = 1 NS standard currency*

*beep*

*end translation*
20-10-2003, 20:47
Lol... this is great

:D
Nianacio
20-10-2003, 20:49
*bats feebly at the l33t while wimpering* make it stop. . . oh god, my brain. . . make it stop.8(_|7 | |_()\/3 |_337! :cry:
21-10-2003, 01:37
*beep*

*begin translation n00bian=>english*

A facinating phenominon, more research will have to be done into how best to utilize l33t speak as a WMD. In later news, a new noobian undertaken has been started, the construction of a fleet of battleships, aircraft carriers, fighters and bombers. Already, thousands of sheets of paper are being folded, bathtubs and cardboard boxes have been procured, and for weaponry, the awsome power of pointy sticks and rocks have been harnesed by the brave sailors.
Rukemia
21-10-2003, 01:48
\/\/o\/\/ Y0ur NE\/\/ \/\/3@P0|\| I5 LI|<3 $0 fr34k1n9 |<3wl |)o00|)! I wi5|-| 1 COuld b3 4 GO|)|\/|0di|\|9 Noo8 l1|<e j00 |\/|A|\|, YOur fUCK1|\|G 4\/\/e$ome!
21-10-2003, 02:00
*beep*

*translating*

we are interested in your weapons, as they seem to be very powerful and even more cost efficeint than most Weapons of mass distraction, though we can not make a purchase at this time, we support you in this endevor

We are pleased at the support of the n00bs within the International community, and invite all the n00bs to a reception in the Godmodding Palace, a paper airplane will be dispatched to pick you up, or if you prefer, we can provide a clown car for the delegates.

*end translation*
Tradewinds
21-10-2003, 02:15
6@|{ 700 |V||_|(|{ l337 |[0 |)\ |V|3 :?
Omz222
21-10-2003, 02:20
\/\/3, |\|00b5 0f 0|\/|z222, 1| |<3 j00 \/\/34p0|\|z!

\/\/3 541|_|73 j00!!

0|\/|z222 |\|00b & 1337 50c|37y
SR
21-10-2003, 10:25
OMG OMG OMG! he's using H4KS!

j00 7|-|1/\/|< j00 r 73|-| |3327 /\/00/3?!?!
1 (4/\/ 2p34|< 1337 j|_|27 42 \/\/311!!!!!111oneoneone!

NOTE: i don't always speak leet. just couldn't resist.
21-10-2003, 12:15
((OOC: Wow, I even got omz222 to join the l33t fun, w00t for n00bspeak!))
Ancient and Holy Terra
21-10-2003, 12:26
0|\/|Fg, j00 4rE 4Ll +3|-| GR3@te5t |\|0O8$ 1|\| tEH E|\|+iR3 Worl|)!!! j00 o\/\/|\|!!!

*clo|\|e$ |\|4zIs*

(ooc: :P)
Zhudor
24-10-2003, 09:49
Oh god oh god oh god {rinse, wash repeat}

How the hell do you guys come up with this "leet speak"? I can barely follow it much less write in it.

btw....mad funny

The unusual thing about leet is that it's much easier to write than to read (if the writer takes some care *g*).

You have mail!

from: 1337hax0r123456 at hotmail.com
(unencrypted, highest priority, world-readable, mailer: M$ Outlook)

TOP SECRET!!!!!!1!1!!!!

|<3\/\/1! \/\/3 |-|4\/3 |°|-|0|_|/\/|) 0|_|7 7|-|47 73|-| /\/00|<$ (4/\/ |-||_||\°7 ||°|-| 7|-||\°0\/\//\/ |-|4|\°|)!!!!!1!1111!! 7|-|4/\/><!!!1! \/\/3 4|\°3 $0 |°0\/\/3|\°|°|-||_|1 /\/0\/\/!!!!!!!11111 |)0/\/'7 |v||/\/|) 73|-| |°|-||\°|_||7 84$|<37$!!!!1!111111

\/\/3 614|)1\,/ 4((3|°7 73|-| |/\/\/|747|0/\/!

--

1337|-|4x0|2

<5 lines of freemail-Ads>



*boards paper aeroplane*

*bats feebly at the l33t while wimpering* make it stop. . . oh god, my brain. . . make it stop.

on the up side, it seems there is anouther n00bish weapon of mass distraction, posting entire wars in l33t. . .

oh the humanity.

We're gonna be the 1337 411|4/\/(3 soon! *eg* If it ever goes to war, there will be serious mass distraction going on. *g* However it won't last long for all us n00bish tacticians...
25-11-2003, 13:09
|\|00|3|4|\| |3|_||\/||-` |\| |-`|23|-` |-`|-|0|2 |_||-` |>473
Dyelli Beybi
25-11-2003, 13:16
OMFG R0FL t415 1Z 0|\|3 l<3\/\/1 St0r3fr0|\|tt!!!!!!!!!!11111111111
Zhudor
29-11-2003, 18:43
*steps off the (now smashed) paper aeroplane and instead boards the clownsmobile*
*arrives at the godmoding palace*
|<3\/\/1! *waves n00bish flag with "\/\/0|21|) |)0|v|||\|47|0|\|" scribbled on it and enters*
Jaxusism
29-11-2003, 18:46
j00 4l_l_ (r4z`/, 5t0p tr`/!l\lg 2 4(t L33t l_!l<3 l\/l3, l_0l_z, jl_l5t l<!l)l)!l\lg!
1337hax0r
29-11-2003, 20:18
|'|v| 50 1337!!!!1!11

*translation from n00bian to english*

We would like to join the alliance. We can provide a great deal of noobishness. In fact, we are so noobish that we cannot even remember the... what was it again... password? No. Login name? Yes, that's it... maybe...

Anyway, for some reason we have been expelled from our original nation. We still cannot think of the way they found out we tried to hack their government's computers. We were even using our school accounts for running winnuke! We couldn't however get the scripts to run, maybe we have to get the thing called "Linux", whatever that is. But we will not need it! Windows is so leet (and pre-installed, as we wouldn't be able to figure out how to boot from the installation CD)!

*end translation*
Nianacio
30-11-2003, 01:43
|<3\/\/1! *waves n00bish flag with "\/\/0|21|) |)0|v|||\|47|0|\|" scribbled on it and enters*1337=funny (Probably because I was fist exposed to it in a web comic...)
Chatspeak=annoying