18-10-2003, 09:16
Wanted: One multi-national weapons company in need of a new headquarters. Firm must be able to produce and stock a wide assortment of modern weapons. Scruples a plus, but not required.
Your new home would be the economically burgeoning Principality of Kaer Kaosium. Taxes are non-existant, and tarriffs forbidden--a big plus to the balance sheet of any corporation. Government officials are scarce, so there'd be no nosy bureaucrats snooping around your depleted uranium ammo plants.
Kaer Kaosium offers a wide variety of entertainment, culture, and uninhibitted scantily-clad babes for the perusal of your exectives and upper-end management. Personal privacy is at a premium here, so there'd be no embarassing scandals were the rumors actually true about the proclitivities of weapons industry bigwigs. End user certificates will not be a problem at your headquarters in Kaer Kaosium, our information technology employees already hack international databases for fun and profit.
Don't think we take our international 'responsibilities' overly seriously here, the national vote to join the UN was dwarfed by the write-in vote to basically 'Blow the damn place up.' As the latter opinion was phrased so many different and interesting ways, the proposition to join won a narrow victory over the most popular write-in: "Nuke 'Em!" Apparently the option "no" was too sedate for most opposers of that storied institution, to the frustration of their aims.
The only necessary contribution would be to the defense of your new nation. As we've no regional enemies, the only threat would come in the unlikely event the UN were to grow a set of balls. As we've determined through a painstaking computer model that the maximum force needed to deter a UN invasion is a regiment of malnurished heroin addicts, donations of unneeded prototypes and weapons damaged in production would suit both of our needs admirably.
Consider us carefully the next time a government chooses to confiscate your hard-earned blood money, or tries to tell you nuclear weapon production is prohibitted by such-and-such Convention of Nanny-State Meddling. You're but one phone call away from freedom here!
Your new home would be the economically burgeoning Principality of Kaer Kaosium. Taxes are non-existant, and tarriffs forbidden--a big plus to the balance sheet of any corporation. Government officials are scarce, so there'd be no nosy bureaucrats snooping around your depleted uranium ammo plants.
Kaer Kaosium offers a wide variety of entertainment, culture, and uninhibitted scantily-clad babes for the perusal of your exectives and upper-end management. Personal privacy is at a premium here, so there'd be no embarassing scandals were the rumors actually true about the proclitivities of weapons industry bigwigs. End user certificates will not be a problem at your headquarters in Kaer Kaosium, our information technology employees already hack international databases for fun and profit.
Don't think we take our international 'responsibilities' overly seriously here, the national vote to join the UN was dwarfed by the write-in vote to basically 'Blow the damn place up.' As the latter opinion was phrased so many different and interesting ways, the proposition to join won a narrow victory over the most popular write-in: "Nuke 'Em!" Apparently the option "no" was too sedate for most opposers of that storied institution, to the frustration of their aims.
The only necessary contribution would be to the defense of your new nation. As we've no regional enemies, the only threat would come in the unlikely event the UN were to grow a set of balls. As we've determined through a painstaking computer model that the maximum force needed to deter a UN invasion is a regiment of malnurished heroin addicts, donations of unneeded prototypes and weapons damaged in production would suit both of our needs admirably.
Consider us carefully the next time a government chooses to confiscate your hard-earned blood money, or tries to tell you nuclear weapon production is prohibitted by such-and-such Convention of Nanny-State Meddling. You're but one phone call away from freedom here!