NationStates Jolt Archive

Our soldiers, sailors and airmen have returned from Neighborly Affection's atoll #2.

That is, some of them have returned, looking tanned and healthy, The rigors of war, or perhaps the allure of R&R, seem to have made them unwelcome to return to duty. They are now receiving expert counseling, gestalt therapy. We can hear the primal screaming even now.

*shudder*

The whereabouts of the remaining forces is being investigated.

The additional mastodon trainers we had hired have been reassigned to gardening detail to restablish the geraniums and other flora annihilated by Ducttapeland's paintball assault.

We are planting new beds near the HQ, to be entitled "The Noble Millie, Tille etc. Memorial Gardens".

OOC: !?!?!...okay... I don't understand...

OOC: !?!?!...okay... I don't understand...

OOC: Nice name, FCN; the Iroquois Confedracy was an admirable political system.
This relates to a prior thread, called "demented conflict", that somehow got deleted. It was active Tuesday or Wednesday, not locked, no flaming, don't know what happened.

Our troops were overseas at war and due to miscalculations ran out of supplies. They were given shelter and food (and parties, amusements and libations) on Atoll #2 of the nation of Neighborly Affection.

Now it appears some of our armed forces have decided not to come home!

I see... Why make I ask?

We have (gently and humanely) interrogated some of our disaffected returning forces.
As a result, we have reason to believe that a combination of military bungling and mismangement, (which put them all in danger of starvation, drowning, or being eaten by hungry prehistoric animals),l some disappointment at not seeing any real battlefield action after all the propoganda buildup and the big sendoff, plus exposure to the lush and pleasant life of NA's atoll (lovely maidens, palm trees, free drinks, all-night dances, tropical fruit for the picking if you get my meaning) all led to a generalized tendency toward mutiny.

Unfortunately the world does not run on R&R. Life is real, life is earnest, factories must produce, services must be delivered, farms and mines must operate, and armed forces must be alert, prepared and dedicated.

We will reindoctrinate the returnees with patriotic songs and movies, invigorating exercise, and competitive sport. Get the old testosterone flowing again.

How we will deal with those who refused to leave the atoll is another matter. It becomes a touchy question for international negotiation. Neighborly Affection is a valuable ally we do not wish to offend.

We are still putting our heads together over this one.

Now that the air assault from Ducttapeland has ceased, we have reopened access to embassies in our capital. Neighborly Affection's ambassador has been speaking with us.

We cannot call these talks "negotiations" because they have come across more as scolding lectures. We are being told that we have driven our servicemen and women too hard, that we are anal retentive, that our milk of human kindness has dried up, and furthermore that some of our forces are marrying into the local population and applying for citizenship and that NA intends to honor these applications!

Frankly we have our own opinions but are too polite to air them so openly. We may state however that attitudes in NA are entirely too laid-back.

Intermarrying! Now how will we ever get our armed forces back?

Not only has the ambassador from Neighborly Affection taken a condescending attitude, placating our concerns as if we were whining infants; not only has he eaten our mastodoan steaks and amused himself in the high ropewalks of our rainforest when he should have been discussing matters of subatance; now it has been revealed that he himself is engaged to be married to one of our mutinous servicewomen!

How could such a disreputable charlatan ever lead us to an agreement that would end this dangerous impasse?

We sent the fraud packing, with a stern note to the leadership of NA to begin serious negotiations or else.

They have some firsthand evidence of what we mean by "or else", but should be forewarned that next time we will make better preparation.
War!

Neighborly Affection has apparently intercepted our communication. The high-living ambassador has departed in the middle of the night, together with his obviously-expectant Collaboration servicewoman paramour.

Now we must once again prepare for war, weary though we are. Surely NA, being forewarned, will be forearmed. Our forces morale is still low; this could be touch-and-go.

In an unrelated development, we have begun receiving a new stream of "refugees" from NA, claiming they are tired of the laid-back island lifestyle. This hardly qualifies them for hardship status, and we stringly suspect that many if not all of these "refugees" are in fact espionage agents. We are keeping a close eye on them.

So far all that our intelligence has gathered is that these people are working unpaid overtime, obeying all laws, paying taxes, and keeping things neat and clean. Very suspect indeed; they are trying too hard to make a good (false?) impression.

We just received an urgent message from the national leader of NA.
She is concerned to avoid war, upset at our treatment of her ambassador, and has noticed a trend in both countries which may be to our mutual advantage.
"It seems our relaxed island style does not suit everyone, nor does your hard-nosed practicality. You are open-minded about lifestyle choices. Why not let people decide for themselves where they want to live, and we will do the same? It will be like a free market decision.
"Look, some of our citizens are longing for sobriety and discipline. Why, I don't know for the life of me, but they are. I'll wager the numbers gained and lost would be roughly equal on both ends if we had mutual open immigration.
"Here's another thought: These tough guys who want to leave here would just love to take up the slack in the military. They have been fascinated at the idea of training and riding your prehistoric beasts."

We are studying the matter. Who knows? It might just work.

OOC: Sorry if I'm blunt, but nobody is replying to your post. If you want me to though, I'll post...

The Carpathian States wishes to open an embassy in the capital of Collaboration.

OOC: Sorry if I'm blunt, but nobody is replying to your post. If you want me to though, I'll post...

Please do!

The Carpathian States wishes to open an embassy in the capital of Collaboration.

You will be most welcome.

Our Embassies are located in a new settlement overlooking the rainforest, near the cliffs and beaches of the north coast. It is a most pleasant area.

Accomodations are available to suit your taste; many choose to live in the homes and suites we provide, since our typical national habitat elsewhere is considered spartan by many standards. Some are concerned about eavesdropping equipment in provided housing; for their benefit we provide materials and labor for new construction which they may supervise, or of course anyone may create their own dwelling without our help if they so desire.

Restaurants in the new city (Called, imaginatively, "New City"), are among the finest in the nation, and there are various cultural events scheduled year-round.

We then hope you will in turn receive our ambassadors in your nation?

After due consideration we have decided to open our borders in a mutual exchange with Neighborly Affection.

If this does not work as hoped, we could lose a large percentage of our population.

But the only alternative is war, and our last effort along those lines was not too encouraging.

A aging gentleman steps up to a podium.

"Um... Hi folks, my name is Ginas Romanov, the Trade Minister... The Five Civilized Nations...um what was I saying...oh yeah, I was saying that the 5CN is preparing to establish trade relations with Collaboration...um...um...A trade delegation made up of members of the Foreign and Trade Ministries will participate in these bilateral talks...um...any questions?"

A aging gentleman steps up to a podium.

"Um... Hi folks, my name is Ginas Romanov, the Trade Minister... The Five Civilized Nations...um what was I saying...oh yeah, I was saying that the 5CN is preparing to establish trade relations with Collaboration...um...um...A trade delegation made up of members of the Foreign and Trade Ministries will participate in these bilateral talks...um...any questions?"

Do you know what we trade? Mostly we have prehistoric clones, such as our mastodons, plus tropical hardwoods, handicrafts, and aged cheese. We do have some new medical technologies as well, which we were obliged tyo develop in response to unforeseen complications with our new clones.

What exactly do you propose to offer in trade?

We do not drive personal vehicles here, by the way.
We have a shortage of heavy machinery, and replacement parts.

We'll provide you with all the heavy machinery and parts you need... We'll provide you with the money of our tourists... :D

Tourists! Yes, we have some sights and experiences worth sharing.
We have often been overlooked, because of our low promotion budget, but there is a lush subtropical forest (in which you can sleep safely overnight in treehouses, accessible by ropewalk or cable operated chairs lifts), a large coral reef, some fine beaches and also some seaside cliffs which offer excellent views, hang-gliding, and, for the daring, a breathtaking dive into the azure depyhs.
We have over two dozen recognized ethnic groups, each of which proudly maintains distinctive restaurants, museums, cultural centers, sport and entertainment venues.
Nightclubs are limited to the New City embassy row, and Harbor Town.

We offer daily viewings of our mastodons and pterosaurs. Giant squid may be viewed off the reef by scuba divers. These spieces have been domesticated. Others undre development are still too wild for public viewing.

This is the planting season, when we race our mastodons for sport over undeveloped but fertile lands. After the competitions are over, the trees and rocks have been effectively removed and the soil turned, all by the playfulness of these boistrous beasts. It is an unforgettable sight.

The open exchange with NA seems to be succeeding. The new immigrants are productive, law-abiding citizens. Of course when our laws allow gambling, nudity and so on it is not all that hard to abide by them.

The newcomers are willing to make up the gap in our armed forces caused by the desertion of those slackers on the atoll.

Should we allow this? What if they are spies or saboteurs? What if this is all a takeover plot?

What do our ambassador friends think?

We are keeping the new immigrants under covert surveillance.
Well, mostly covert; we have never done this sort of thing before and are rather inept at it.
So far the only illegal activity we have seen has been turning their bikes without hand signals (a rule which we all break), and extramarital (but consensual) sexual relations (another law often more honored in the breach, so to speak).
We will watch and wait.

Some NA immigrants we have been watching have been organizing block parties and street dances.
This is highly suspicious behavior. Most citizens take their pleasures in the privacy of their homes or at least in a decent casino or brothel.

We appeal to our new friends and allies. Have you encountered similar behavior? What should we do? Are they spies, subverting our lifestyle?

Some of the mutineers have sent us a "ggod will" package here at HQ. It contains candied fruits and other sweets, rare liquors, and samples of rather scanty items of indigenous attire.

If they are trying to arouse a sense of jealousy within us, they have succeeded!
:twisted: :evil:

After sampling the "goodwill" packet, several of our staff here at HQ have departed to join the mutiny.

We need to think up something tempting to send back to NA. But what? We have lots of turnips, but no one finds them tempting.

Intermarriage on NA's atoll #2 and here as well has had its inebvitable toll: international pregnancies.

Soon families will be wanting to gather here and there for these "blessed events". They already want to hold baby showers.

We would rather restrict the coming and going between the two nations, for fear of losing more citizens. Unrest is growing against this official position.

This begins to look like a no-win situation.