Military coup rocks Sodoff
Communique:
Democratic socialists beware! For too long Sodoff has been a wet liberal nation, afraid of its own shadow. We the Junta of MPs Democratioc Union Party (Jumpedup for short) have siezed power and will be changing all of Sodoff's left wing policies with the sole intention of establishing Sodoff as the leading economy in England, starting today.
Signed General Stations, the new Prime Minister and ruler of Sodoff.
Communique ends.
Communique:
Sodoff has replaced its prime minister, General Stations who, having been placed on trial, has been shown to be corrupt and not fully in support of Jumpedup's political principles.
The new prime minister is General Nuisance. The full cabinet is as follows:
Chancellor - Baron Wallet.
Forces minister - Marshall Music
Trade and industry secretary - General Motors
Home Secretary - Lord Luvaduck
Communique ends.
Communique:
Sodoff regrets to announce that after a brief illness, General Stations, former Prime Minister of the Dictatorship of Sodoff passed away at 4.00 p.m. GMT. He will be buried in Westminster Abbey (at least his body will be. His head will be interred in Westminster Cathedral.)
General Nuisance, Prime Minister of Sodoff, expressed sincere condolences to the family who are currently on extended holiday in Siberia.
Communique ends.
J-j-j-ust promise not to hurt u-u-uss... ok? :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
You even start making a move on my nation or any other nation because of it's preferred style of leadership, I'll kill you.
Osaki, on behalf of
http://www.abinante.org/gabriel/shinglobanner.jpg (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=73226)
Excerpt from interview conducted by Scoop Sodoff of the Sodoff Times newspaper with General Studies, the new Education minister of the Dictatorship of Sodoff:
Scoop Sodoff: "Please tell us your policies with regard to the Scotland problem"
General Studies: "I have serious concerns about the Scots. They have their own parliament yet continue to take an influential role in our own. Why should this be? They jeer our national football team whenever they have a chance, yet they want Celtic and Rangers in our English Premier League. Why? And what about their food? Neeps and tatties - what's that all about? Turnips and potatoes? Yum yum I don't think. Then they bombard us with their dreadful music. As a child I was traumatised by being forced to listen to the Andy Stewart White Heather Club on a Saturday night - and of course they invented the BAGPIPE! On a saturday morning in our town we are regularly confronted by a big jessie in a dress (a dress mark you!)playing the bloody things and lamenting having left Scotland. Let me tell you something mate! Scotland is just up the bloody A1. Buy yourself a car with the money you cadge from the English in your bagpipe case and SODOFF back up there!"
Editor's note:
Sodoff intends reintroducing frontier controls on the Sodoff/Scotland border. All ugly ginger Scotties will be banned from entering the country. Exceptions will, of course be made for babes such as Carol Smillie.
Johnistan
15-10-2003, 19:35
If this new government needs weapons I got plenty of that
Communique:
General Studies, education minister of Sodoff announced today that free school milk in all Sodoff primary schools would end, with immediate effect.
Communique ends.
Communique:
In new legislation passed by the Sodoff Reichstag the following today became illegal:
Baggy jeans and baseball caps worn sideways
Drivers of blue 3 series BMWs
Estate agents
Eyebrow piercings
Loud car stereos
Coronation Street
Rap music
Sir Alex Ferguson
Womens' tights
Sir Alex Ferguson
In addition, a surcharge of one Sodoff pal has been applied to all takeaway McDonalds and Kentucky Fried Chicken to pay for the cost of clearing up the litter they create.
Communique ends.
Excerpt from Sodoff Times:
Leader of Sodoff oppositon party, General Dogsbody, today denied abuse of parliamentary rules in employing his hamster as his diary secretary from 1999 - 2000. Submitting a 4 page dossier to Sir Stanley Double-Barrel, the Reichstag standards commissioner, he explained that although he would normally have employed his wife, she was not as good as a hamster at running round in that little wheel thing. "Anyway" he explained "my wife was rather busy making jam at the time".
Submitting his own dossier to Sir Stanley, Scoop Sodoff (42) of the Sodoff Times newspaper pointed to the hamster's salary of 100,000 Sodoff Pals per annum. "You could buy an awful lot of sunflower seeds with that" he said.