NationStates Jolt Archive


hire-a-thug shop

Lapse
11-10-2003, 05:25
The independantly owned bristilian company, Hire-a-thug has decided to hire its thugs out to the intenational community. The change of mind has come after the company realised that there was no buisness in the region of bristle due to good management and limited crime.

There are 5 varieties of thugs

Thug with no weapon.
These thugs are basically there for hand to hand combat. Good for tax collectors assistants as they look menacing. Also good for diving in front of people to stop bullets hitting them

Thug with knife
These thugs are better if some crazed loonatic tries to punch your leader to death. Withj a 10 Inch bowie knife they could stop anything but a tank*

Thug with Crowbar
These thugs are trained in the art and discipline of crowbar. They can make these lumps of metal do anything and are particullarly useful in gang wars

Thug with hand gun
These thugs are equipped with a 9mm pistol they are good for when you are confronted by a gang walking down a back alley. What the ruler of a country is doing walking down a dark alley they dont even care

thug with uzi
this is our top of the line thug. Shoots anything and everything that moves unless you tell them not to shoot.

Prices:(per thug)
Thug with no weapon:
$1000+$30 per hour


Thug with knife:
$1200+$32 per hour


Thug with Crow Bar:
$1400+$34 per hour

Thug with pistol:
$1600+$36 per hour


Thug with uzi:
$1800+$38 per hour


If a thug should die whilst doing his/her duty Death fee for a thug is $10,000

5% off if you calculate the price yourself

use this calculator (http://www.freewebs.com/timelapse/invoice.xls)
Diminix
11-10-2003, 05:27
What the..
11-10-2003, 05:29
ooh! thugs! i want 15000000 thugs with no weapons!
Lapse
11-10-2003, 05:31
15,000,000 (thats alot)

sorry we dont have that many. We have around one million thugs in total gathered from different nations in my region.
Diminix
11-10-2003, 05:33
Lapse, are you Thomas?
Lapse
11-10-2003, 05:35
no
Diminix
11-10-2003, 05:39
Damn..nevermind. :lol:
11-10-2003, 05:41
I'll take 2000 thugs with uzis for the duration of 500 hours. They will serve as my personal guard as well as to bolster my already strong police force. And if not, they can be substitute teachers.
Lapse
11-10-2003, 05:47
2000*(1900+120*24)
=$9,560,000

Thugs will be sent upon recieving money
11-10-2003, 05:53
hmm...quite a small sum. *pays for it with his people's taxes*
Lapse
11-10-2003, 05:56
it ios only for 120 hours
11-10-2003, 05:57
odd...oh well.
Lapse
11-10-2003, 07:22
thugs have being sent

[note to self, 250th post, #tag#]
Lapse
30-10-2003, 09:56
thugs with crow bar added. bump for increased sales
30-10-2003, 10:06
We would like to hire 35 of each type, for a total of 250 hours. Dont make them worry about what kind of work they will be doing before hand though, as all the time will be spent in classes to train them life skills beyond simply beating people in alleys.
Ancient and Holy Terra
30-10-2003, 10:43
Ancient Terra, as a member of the SR Control Region, denounces this latest attempt by Bristle to spread crime around the world. We see this as nothing but another attempt to make money with no regard for the consequences. However, it is not within our charter to interfere with your business merely because we disagree with it.

~Emperor El' Jonson, Leader of Ancient Terra~
~Talus Karn, Prime Minister of Ancient Terra~

(ooc: Don't take the above speech personally, I actually think this is a cool idea. Sorta like "rent-a-cop", except it's "rent-a-criminal". And the death fee is a nice touch. Carry on. :D)
Rotovia
30-10-2003, 11:32
I would like to order 16 Thugs with no weapons, I'd like 4 of them at a time to work in 6-hour shifts following the Rotovian President around and making him look tough.
30-10-2003, 12:20
The Chancellory of Handschar wishes to hire 1,000 thugs with uzis for 100 hours on a mission to the capital of Bristle to attempt to assassinate it's leader.

(OOC: Bwahahah)
Lapse
30-10-2003, 13:18
Ancient Terra, as a member of the SR Control Region, denounces this latest attempt by Bristle to spread crime around the world. We see this as nothing but another attempt to make money with no regard for the consequences. However, it is not within our charter to interfere with your business merely because we disagree with it.

~Emperor El' Jonson, Leader of Ancient Terra~
~Talus Karn, Prime Minister of Ancient Terra~

(ooc: Don't take the above speech personally, I actually think this is a cool idea. Sorta like "rent-a-cop", except it's "rent-a-criminal". And the death fee is a nice touch. Carry on. :D)

Actually its more to order out to tax collectors so i guess it is criminal :lol:
Lapse
30-10-2003, 13:19
The Chancellory of Handschar wishes to hire 1,000 thugs with uzis for 100 hours on a mission to the capital of Bristle to attempt to assassinate it's leader.

(OOC: Bwahahah)
order confirmed


Wait a minut, Lapse is the capital of bristle,
and i am the leader

AHHHHHH

*goes insane*
Lapse
30-10-2003, 13:20
We would like to hire 35 of each type, for a total of 250 hours. Dont make them worry about what kind of work they will be doing before hand though, as all the time will be spent in classes to train them life skills beyond simply beating people in alleys.


I would like to order 16 Thugs with no weapons, I'd like 4 of them at a time to work in 6-hour shifts following the Rotovian President around and making him look tough.
SR
31-10-2003, 07:56
I agree with Terra. This is simply a face for organised crime. This could be a serious issue later, and indeed could spread crime. It is most definately a questionable practice.
Lapse
31-10-2003, 08:47
i could insert a flame war here but instead i will argue against sr's claims as a person


firstly, they are noit gangsters, they are thugs. they are body guards. not criminals. it is also up to the nation how they use these people, and any harm caused to anyone or anything is not the resposnibility of lapse
31-10-2003, 08:48
I want a huge force to attack you
I'll pay big
Lapse
31-10-2003, 09:08
I want a huge force to attack you
I'll pay big


ill have to suggest you look at teh prvious page, someone has already tried that
17-11-2003, 03:41
The Chancellory of Handschar wishes to hire 1,000 thugs with uzis for 100 hours on a mission to the capital of Bristle to attempt to assassinate it's leader.

(OOC: Bwahahah)
order confirmed


Wait a minut, Lapse is the capital of bristle,
and i am the leader

AHHHHHH

*goes insane*

I would like a reorder, max amount of uzi thugs to take the capital city of Bristle, in an attempt to have the leader under my command.
Lapse
31-12-2003, 05:08
bump
31-12-2003, 05:10
lol